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Journal 2.0

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After binging 10 hours of Bioshock infinate(relapse), and getting stiff neckpains on a day I originally scheduled to be full of productivity and physical activity, I once again am thinking, what the hell is going on! 

I keep thinking of this relapse as something that is "not that bad" since it doesn't feel to me like it has any direct consequences. Meaning, its really not consequences that I see or feel before later, when the day has passed. The other part of why I return to playing games is because I keep forgetting why I am trying to quit in the first place, that was even made clear to me by another member from this forum and I thank you for that. That has lead me to come up with a solution, that might help me remember every day why I try to quit. 

Previously when I was writing my journals I havent had a speciffic time where I sat down to write in my journal properly. That, I believe made me put in the journal writing whenever it felt like I had a bit time for it. This caused me to only put in text that there was time for. Not really put all my thoughts and heart into it. I must also admit to myself that its not smart of me to keep watching gaming streams and lets plays since that has properly also been playing a big role in me returning to playing videogames.

I will write this journal every day, with a daily goal, and several counts so I can constantly be aware of my process. I will also include a thought about a subject so I have to actively think, while I am writing the journal. Also I will add, daily, a reason why I want to quit. 

 

💪🧗‍♂️👨‍🔬

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Guest

Today has been good, but a little hard. Hard in the sense that it has been difficult to evade gaming videos on youtube. Didn't watch any, but they were there in my face whenever I scrolled down in the lobby. I got everything done today that I had put on my to-do list so that one is winged as well. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Days without gaming: 1

Days without gaming videos: 1

Goal of the day: Setting up my steam account for deletion 

To do list:

  • 1 hour cardio 
  • Stretching 
  • Meditation 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

My thoughts for today has been roaming the statement comming from a lot of gamedevelopers.

"We want the our players to play on our game as much as possible"

Don't get me wrong though I completely understand the statement from the developers that makes games that has season tiers and microtransactions. But when it comes to developers of games that doesn't have that, why is the play time so important. It seems like playtime has become equivallent to a game being good in this perspective. It has made a lot of games become more of a grind and a duty than fun to play. It happens so rarely in my past time gaming that developers made games that is meant to be played for 10 minutes a time and still give the player a sensation of having felt stressrelief or satisfaction. Most games today take even up to an hour just to get into. (for me). 

What is the benifits for singleplayer-non microtransaction game developers to have their players play for as long as possible?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

A reason why I dont want to play games anymore is for one, partly because of the above mentioned thoughts. Because most developers create games that are supposed to take as much time away from the player as possible. I can argue to myself to be a cogwheel in such kind of clockwork. Thinking about that when I played made me realize that I am basically giving away my time to these developers and getting nothing back essentially.

 

💪👨‍🔬🧗‍♂️

 

Edited by Guest

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