Kaizen - The Quest for Neverending Self-Improvement

[Granitwelle]

Chapter 2: Misty Mountain Trail (Day 30-60)

霧深い山道, the “misty mountain trail”, shall be the motif for the second month of the journey. The sublime eeriness of fog and its property of blurring vision should reflect doubt and uncertainty that is an integral part of our journey.

The wanderer has left the flat and winding road of life, took a detour at a junction and now meanders towards a large mountain, slowly but resolutely. The trail leads uphill and the wanderer eventually reaches a lush forest with a verdant canopy. Compared to the flat road, this path is harder to navigate as loose roots and massive stone plates are scattered all across the path. Nonetheless, the wanderer presses on steadily uphill.

Eventually, a thick, enshrouding fog impairs his vision and he needs to rest for a while and scan the environment in order to find his bearings. A looming shadow in the distance. Crippled woodwork and dead trees beneath the road. He shudders briefly, but then smiles. He sees the bright sunlight through both the thick fog as well as the verdant canopy. The path leads uphill, this is all he needs to know as he marches on, anticipating the joy of reaching the peak and beholding the stunning panorama from the top.

The way is the goal. Fear and doubt shall not stop me.

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Journal Day #13// Days without gaming Day 31// Monk-Mode Day 2                                                                                         Sunday, 26/03/2017

Gratitude journal

- my family, my dog

- Yoshida Brothers (Shamisen music)

Workout/run: - (caught a cold and had to take a break for two days)

Meditation: entire cycle

Daily affirmation: Alright, month two already. Bring it on!

Reading:  Nicolo Macchiavelli - Il Principe

Weekly Goal(s): serious progress on thesis, less complaining,  not met, had to work on other assignments which were more pressing

Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis done, will rework thesis concept
be more active during the second month (day 30-60), ace an exam at the end of the month, thesis

3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today: worked on case study

What went well today: work

What I could have done to make my day better: wake up earlier, be less doubtful

What I will do differently tomorrow: work more

Edited March 26, 2017 by Granitwelle

[Granitwelle]

Journal Day #14// Days without gaming: 34                                                                                                              Wednesday, 29/03/2017

Things get better and better every day. Stress recedes and I find joy in cultivating my mind and socializing with the right people. Meditation might have changed my mind on many things, however I have become way more positive and start to cut out negative influences from my life. Life is an opportunity rather than a threat. Since I started tougher sports and exercises, sweating out the beta-remnants gaming spawned, self-esteem increases in leaps and bounds. Screw external validation, the crippling crutch of (a)social media and the fleeting opinion of others. It's all within, we just need to move our lazy behind lol

Gratitude journal

- my decision to quit gaming

- Amorphis (Under the Red Cloud), Killswitch Engage

- Lipton Ice Tea

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

- quit being a nice guy, but rather being "selectively polite" 

Workout/run: squats, jumping jacks, jab punches low/mid/hi kicks

Meditation: full cycle

Daily affirmation: . Fall seven times, get up eight (Japanese proverb)

Reading:  Miyamoto Musashi: Gorin no Sho

Weekly Goal(s): get shit done like a boss

Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis  check

3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

What went well today: productive like a boss

What I could have done to make my day better: quit gaming years ago already lol

What I will do differently tomorrow:  work, however remain vigilant as I expect something negative to happen soon

[Granitwelle]

Journal Day #15 // Days without gaming: 36                                                                                                                                                         Friday, 31/03/2017

Today was a tough day, but I stood my ground. Could have presented better, but hey, considering the fact that I wasn't presenting much during my gaming binges, I fared well. Finally had time to meditate and workout again. It's been 36 days already, time sure flies. Inertia and idleness still sometimes paralyze, however it is getting less and less frequent. Working on my personality now, I socialize more and I want to hire a coach after I finish my degree. This will take some time, but man it feels GOOD. What a fool I have been all those years, shackled by such a pointless hobby. I don't want to sound like an old man, back to work and lifting!

Gratitude journal

- my family and my dog

- a good person who entered my life some time ago. Hope this will blossom into a full-scale friendship

- my faith that has helped me through several tougher stretches of my life

Workout/run: exercise bike, walked 3km                 Meditation: full cycle                    Daily affirmation: Well done, keep going!

Daily reflection:

good incidents: presentation went well, socialised a lot, more assertive compared to the past

bad incidents: minor difference in opinion with peer, still too defensive

potential for improvement: increase awareness of deceptive people

Gaze towards the future ~ personal goals

Weekly Goal(s): get shit done like a boss check, I finished everything!

Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis  check

3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

Edited March 31, 2017 by Granitwelle

[Granitwelle]

Journal Day #16 // Days without gaming: 37                                                                                                                                                         Saturday, 1/4/2017

The first weekend I simply enjoyed and relaxed. I still have a lot of work to do, however one also needs to rest occasionally. As I threw out and sold everything gaming and manga related, I did not have a possibility to watch my Blu-Rays and DVD collection. Therefore, I bought a Blu-ray player yesterday and had a nice evening with friends. Nachos, salsa dip and a couple of hilarious B-movies served as welcome entertainment - Machete, Kung Fury, Tremors. Spent the rest of the day with the family and working in the garden for a while, repairing things and simply enjoying spring - crocuses and snowdrops everywhere.

I still do not miss gaming after almost 40 days. The weeb is harder to overcome though lol

Gratitude journal

- my family and my dog

- my friends

Workout/run: exercise bike                                                Meditation: full cycle                                         Daily affirmation: Well done, keep going!

Daily reflection:

good incidents: relaxed and enjoyed the day, fixed a couple of things around the garden, socialised

bad incidents: still a lot of work to do, --> bad conscience

potential for improvement: complain less

Gaze towards the future ~ personal goals

Weekly Goal(s): get shit done like a boss check, I finished everything!

Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis  check

3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

Edited April 2, 2017 by Granitwelle

[Granitwelle]

Journal Day #17 // Days without gaming: 39                                                                                                                                                         Monday, 3/4/2017

Wasted away the weekend after I was binge work-a-holicing for three weeks. A buddy and I re watched several seasons of X-Files recently, I didn't know that there was another season. That ending, the worst cliffhanger ever, I wonder whether they'll make another one to give the series closure. Other than that, I didn't do much. Gotta get back into shape! Still no urge to game and energy levels are still increasing. However I need to practice some restraint for I am wasting away too much time in front of PCs and the internet.

Any suggestions how to reduce screen time (PC) when you actually need it for work?

Gratitude journal

- my family and my dog

- my friends

Workout/run: exercise bike                                                Meditation: full cycle                                   Daily affirmation: You deserved some rest, now full throttle again!

Daily reflection:

good incidents: relaxed and enjoyed the day

bad incidents: procrastination

potential for improvement: complain less, work more

Gaze towards the future ~ personal goals

Weekly Goal(s): revise concept for thesis, this will not work out

Monthly Goal: make decent progress on the thesis, ace an important exam, keep moving onward

3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

[Granitwelle]

Journal Day #18 // Days without gaming: 40                                                                                                                                                         Tuesday, 4/4/2017

I cracked the forty-day mark, only five more and 50% of my journey has been achieved. Returning to the metaphor of this journal, I'd say that I still meander in mist as I do not have full clarity in all my actions. Still feel a bit lost and overwhelmed at times but hey, everyone does at one point. The path starts to go uphill and things become a bit more challenging, but in hindsight, it's always the hard things that contribute more to shaping your character than the easy ones. In other words: back to work-a-holic mode. Doing sports has paid off and I lost some excess weight. Meditation keeps me grounded.

Thanks for reading so far and thanks for all the comments, I'm glad I started this journey and have some fellow wanderers on the road to personal betterment. Let's push onward towards the peak, shall we?

Gratitude journal

- my family and my dog

- my friends

Workout/run: walked 3kms                                                Meditation: full cycle                                   Daily affirmation: Well done, keep going!

Daily reflection:

good incidents: started to work again

bad incidents: procrastination

potential for improvement: complain less, work more

Gaze towards the future ~ personal goals

Weekly Goal(s): revise concept for thesis, this will not work out in its current form

Monthly Goal: make decent progress on the thesis, ace an important exam, keep moving onward

3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

Edited April 4, 2017 by Granitwelle

[Granitwelle]

Alright, this journal ends here. I'll keep it classy and write in a physical one from now on. I figured there'd be more exchange. Whatever, I need to walk my own way anyway. @mod: Feel free to delete this thread, sorry for the trouble. So long, GQ!

Edited April 6, 2017 by Granitwelle