Transformation Log

[Priyanuj Bora]

A firm decision: I have given up gaming once and for all.

I will not count the days because there's no looking back now.

 

Here, I want to list my bad habits other than gaming:

1.  Context switching.
2.  Too much of YouTube.
3.  Staying idle in free time.
4.  Waking up late.
5.  Very bad at handling stress(Stressed/Anxious? Watch YouTube, play games, grab the phone, etc.).

I will record my experience, if not regularly, then at least every five days.

[Priyanuj Bora]

Relapse-1: On 07/09/2024

I gave in to my cravings!

I played for 6-8  hours straight from 4'O clock in the evening. I wasted the whole evening and the night! I was completely drained of energy.

 

08/09/2024 and 09/09/2024 were spent by watching gaming videos on YouTube and mindlessly scrolling other social media platforms.

I was so ashamed of my deed that I thought of not posting it in the forum. But, today I wanted to tell everyone that I slipped.

 

Reasons of relapse

1. Not focused on my goals.
2. Sitting idle in spare time.
3. Recalling gaming moments and gaming videos.
4. No definite rules.

There is also another reason why I might have relapsed, I don't know if I am correct or wrong, but for me it is definitely another reason and that is the OS which I use.

 

Earlier I was using Linux Mint. I was actually using it for studying and programming, but then I started gaming in it. So, consequently what happened was that I started associating it with gaming rather than studying and programming. So, what I did after I relapsed was completely wiped out Linux Mint and installed another Linux Distro into my PC and now I am using it solely for productivity.

 

I have set up a time limit for YouTube and restrict myself to watch only educational content in it. Other social platforms like Twitter, Reddit, etc. have been blocked.

 

I restarted my journey from 10/09/2024(actually it started from the night of 09/09/2024) and have been continuing it. I am getting cravings as well.

 

But I have made it clear that:

If I get cravings I will turn off my PC and refrain from using my phone and my laptop, I will get up from my seat and go out of my room if necessary.

[Priyanuj Bora]

14/09/2024

 

A day well spent!

 

Day-time: Visited a temple near our city with my parents. Enjoyed the atmosphere there! Felt refreshed!!

Evening-time: Learnt about creating indexes and bibliography in LaTeX. Completed the topic just a few minutes ago.

 

I had no cravings today. That's a good sign.

[Priyanuj Bora]

16/09/2024

Today, I spent ample time learning about Alpine Linux and working in a non-GUI environment(basically just the command-line). It feels a bit unsettling especially when someone like me has been using GUI-based Linux Distros. Not that I don't use the command-line—I do—but going completely non-GUI feels a bit uncomfortable. Anyway, that was a new experience with a completely non-GUI operating system.

 

Then I moved on to studying K&R2(The C Programming Language by Brian W. Kernighan and Dennis M. Ritchie). I am currently learning about pointers. While it's a tough concept to grasp, it's really rewarding!

 

I did get some mild cravings, feeling like 'playing a game or watching a gaming video' but I am not going to fall for this trap anymore.

[Priyanuj Bora]

17/09/2024

 

I felt sluggish today, I also had a very low motivation to work. I thought I would do some programming, but instead ended up glancing at the terminal screen and just typing random commands. Finally, I felt bored, the air from the fan was just perfect, I turned off my PC(because I was being hit by my gaming memories) and went to sleep. Slept for 1 hour and then woke up a little frustrated, I don't know why.

I tried to get back to studying in the evening but failed.

 

I could only do some LaTeX. I learned about creating presentations using Beamer. Now, the problem is that I am taking notes, but not practicing. Just taking notes is not going to help unless we practice. I need to make some time to practice.

 

Very-very unproductive day. But I am happy that I didn't spend time by watching gaming vidoes or playing video games!

[Priyanuj Bora]

18/09/2024

 

I am starting to feel quite comfortable with the non-GUI interface of Alpine Linux. Today I learned how to browse using a text-based web-browser named lynx.

I am able to browse using google(non-GUI google 😁). That was pretty descent. Now, I need to learn how to send emails using the command-line.

 

I noticed that my mind stays a bit distracted when I am studying or doing anything that requires some of amount of mental effort. I start recalling some gaming scenes, or game characters, or even some music of a certain level of a game. I had played Freedoom for 2 weeks continuously and that had a negative impact on me because I found myself getting distracted from my studies too often(now, it has reduced, but it's still there).

 

I know that playing games can be really comforting, one doesn't need to think about real-life problems, all the problems that one faces are in the game one is playing, problems that have nothing to do with real-life(or should I say virtual problems).

This comfort made me lazy. I felt like solving a programming problem was too hard, I would rather play games. 

I do not want such comfort that stops me from doing real development.

[Priyanuj Bora]

19/09/2024

 

Spent the daytime working really hard to make sending emails possible via the command-line. Almost succeeded, but there was an authentication error. I will look at this one tomorrow.

Took a break in the evening.

Feeling tired right now.

[Priyanuj Bora]

21/09/2024

 

Spent the day working! Yesterday was kind of a do nothing day for me!

I had a wet dream yesterday -- I was playing Freedoom. Yes, I want to refer to these kinds of dreams as wet-dreams because just like masturbation addicts or porn addicts have wet-dreams, a game addict(yes I am a game addict) can also have wet-dreams.

 

Well, a merry wet-dream isn't going to change my mind!!

I can send emails from the command-line now! The only thing left to tackle is sending attachments. That I'll figure out tomorrow.

Real life is much better than a merry game!! The dopamine boost that you get when you achieve something in real life be it problem-solving, troubleshooting, etc. cannot be compared with the dopamine boost that you get by playing games. The dopamine boost gained from real-life achievements(no matter how small they are) increases motivation to work even more and achieve even more and each day you feel refreshed and accomplished unlike when you achieve something in a game, that stays in that game and doesn't make you feel refreshed. It only makes you feel regretful of wasting time.

Edited September 21 by Priyanuj Bora

[Priyanuj Bora]

22/09/2024

 

Was hit by cravings while studying. But something has changed. The way I look at these cravings has changed. Earlier I used to give in to the cravings and start playing games and then after I was done playing I used to feel drained, regretful and frustrated. But now, my brain has learned to associate those negative feelings with these cravings. I now no longer see them as a way to ease myself from the hardships of life but rather I see them as a way to reduce myself to that drained, demotivated guy. I picture myself after I have played games and then compare that state to my current state and I see that I am more happy in my current state. These cravings, those memories feel good, but they are in the past and they look good in the past not in the present, they will only inflict pain if I give in to them.

[Priyanuj Bora]

23/09/2024

 

Completed making a summary of my LaTeX notes today.

I was feeling a bit bored in the evening, so I watched a movie- The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn. Really enjoyed it!

[Priyanuj Bora]

24/09/2024

 

It's a bit challenging for me to practice LaTeX, unlike programming where I learn by practicing. For some reason, I just don't feel like practicing LaTeX, and even if I do, I end up making some very simple documents. I am not using what I learned to its fullest. I end up thinking about what to create. I guess too much time thinking about what to create rather than getting into actual work. That's why I end up like this. I will try not to think too much.

 

I watched a video: https://youtu.be/8GUNhGRlQDU?si=L2Tzd-lSh1Z5NVGh

One thing that attracted me was the topic of taking boring breaks. I do listen to music(in YT Music) after a long working or studying session. I think I will replace that with something different. I will definitely listen to music, but that will be at a different time.

 

I have already set time stamps for using my phone. So, I don't have any problem with mindless scrolling. I have shifted to minimalist phone(available on play-store). My phone remains inside a cupboard. I uninstalled Twitter long ago, never had Instagram, never had Facebook(wasn't really interested in it) and stopped YouTube(forcefully). The only apps I used to visit were WhatsApp and Telegram. Now, I seldom visit them.

 

I don't think I was hit by gaming cravings today. Overall, it was a pretty average day!!

[Priyanuj Bora]

26/09/2024

 

I didn't write yesterday because I was busy creating a report using LaTeX. I completed today in the morning and I am satisfied with it.

 

I didn't do much work today--just spent time outdoors.

Edited September 26 by Priyanuj Bora

[Priyanuj Bora]

27/09/2024

 

I learned how to create custom commands in LaTeX which was pretty fun.

 

I realized that I haven't been programming for a few days, so I decided to get back to it. I practiced some problems and also learned to use GDB(GNU Debugger) to debug a C program.

I felt pretty exhausted while programming, probably because it was evening time. I have noticed before that I don't feel like programming in the evening. I think I will have to change the schedule of LaTeX and C.

 

Maybe I will keep LaTeX for the evening and C for the daytime.

[Priyanuj Bora]

06/10/2024

 

I have spent almost 1 week without getting any external stimulation--no music, no youtube, no phone, just focusing studying.

 

Tried to remain bored. FIrst 2-3 days were frustrating, I couldn't even sit still while studying--that's when I realized how much I was affected by all these external distractions, even though I had set time limits for them. Despite those they still had a strong effect on my ability to focus. After those initial days of frustration and lack of focus, it all started to become quite enjoyable and comfortable. Whenever I felt bored, I just let myself be bored. Either I would pick up a book to read and understand it or just think about a problem that I hadn't been able to solve. Sometimes I would write some documents with LaTeX. In fact, I made some notes on C-pointers using LaTeX.

 

Right now, I am trying to understand the unexpand command of Linux which converts spaces to tabs. I really enjoyed that feeling of having zero external stimuli. I think I will go one more week.

[Priyanuj Bora]

13/10/2024

 

I've gone another week without external stimuli, though this week wasn't as intense as the last one. I had to use the phone for some urgent tasks(only the necessary ones). I am noticing that when I just sit idle, I naturally either pick up a book or just dig though some old electronics I have lying around. This week, I stumbled upon my 9-year-old RC helicopter. It's still in really good condition probably because I flew it so rarely. I wasn't sure if it would charge because I hadn't flown it for quite some time, but surprisingly it did! Unfortunately, the remote requires four 1.5V batteries and I only have rechargeable 1.2V ones from my RC car (also 9-year-old). I was really disappointed at this.

I considered controlling the heli with Arduino, so I did some research, but it seems pretty complex for a guy like me who has no real background in electronics. I have programmed in Arduino before but only for very basics tasks like detecting alcohol, using LEDs to display binary equivalent of decimal numbers, etc. I haven't really made any projects with Arduino. I think I will just take up the simple route and buy some batteries for the remote. Still, controlling the heli with Arduino is something I plan to try in the future once I have learned more.

 

Regarding C programming, I have understood the expand and unexpand commands of linux. It didn't take much time to understand expand since I had already cleared unexpand. What's taking up my time is actually handling the command-line arguments via argv. I know that there is a function getopt, but I don't want to use it just yet, I want to gain some more insight of how arguments are handled. And by arguments I mean options that are passed to a command like: cmatrix -b -C cyan where cmatrix is the program name, -b is an option that tells that the characters must be bold, -C indicates that the matrix will have some color and cyan is the color that the matrix will have. There are some edge cases that I have to look out for. I have come up with one solution which I will implement tomorrow. Let's see how this goes.

Reporting next Sunday.

Edited Sunday at 05:11 PM by Priyanuj Bora