K03985 0 Posted December 19, 2022 Share Posted December 19, 2022 So I had a really deadly thought one night, which boggled my mind because of its' sudden occurrence. And thankfully, God helped me to put away with this assumption that was so crazy. Anyhow, I was woken up, I don't exactly remember the setting during the occurring thought. Maybe it was a storm but, that's probably what happ- Yeah it happened later on after the thought. Although I think I was really just in a pure state of anxiety, confusion and desperation out of nowhere for a good few minutes, and for a literal second; a thought occurred to me- I had this intrusive thought say "I can just reset" Like, kill myself and expect myself to come back just as I am, as if I was in a game and restart my life, but the other thing is that there was no other thoughts that followed besides "No, this is not a game." What this reminded me of was a series of events that happened recently. One was I watched this one anime movie (Demon Slayer -Kimetsu no Yaiba- The Movie: Mugen Train) that had to do with Demon Slayer. In the movie, it has a scene where a demon has manifested a train and took over, much like in a similar anime I watched, which I cannot remember, but it was a gore like anime *shivers*. But yeah, it had this moment where the demon was consistently using it's trance power to put the Demon Slayer to sleep, and in the sleep, the Demon Slayer repeatedly used his memory to remind himself killing himself in the dream was the only way out, and in return he did so every time. But at this point the Solution became a problem, much like my situation with the Damn Dark Intrusive thought, it was at his demise that this next attempt to get out of his dream, was a trick to actually have him kill himself, but thankfully his friend the hog man, stopped him just in time and told him it's not a dream and to not fall into his trap. I feel like this was a big awakening , and a quite gruesome one, as it actually happened to me not too long after. Another point I'd like to bring up was I was also thinking of how this related to another anime movie I watched after Demon Slayer Movie, it was a Movie Called Jujutsu Kaisen 0. Terrible choice, because it was to my opinion, as I understood it ofc, not the perspective you might take on it, that our words manifest our reality, and our thoughts and emotions to those words can become as real as our mindset toward those words. It really messes with you after you've been what I've just been through. All these thoughts that have to do with how i feel about my life, myself and how i have chosen to go about it, was apart of this sudden thought, and it doesn't stop if you don't realize you it soon enough. Lastly, i think about this thing that says in the bible, your words have power of life and death (I copied this from google, because they explained it so well. Proverbs 18:21 puts it this way: “The tongue has the power of life and death.” The stakes are high. Your words can either speak life, or your words can speak death. Our tongues can build others up, or they can tear them down. An unchecked fire doubles in size every minute.), so i think that was a large factor in the movie that i had watched, it really showed that and manifested itself so quickly and escalated things in his life after the tragedy that happened to him. Please comment your ideas and perspective , if you've watched these movies, and have other thoughts on this. I tried to search about it , if anyone has tried to Off themselves by resetting their life as if in a video game, but it just brought up the Hotline for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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