[Attempt #2]

Day 8 (8,9% completed until lvl 1)

I changed the "level reach" to 1 from 90, because I'm only making my way to a new start.

Today was fine. Went to both my class, but was late to my first one. Missed my bus by 30 seconds or so. When I was in my first class, I remembered how I liked the teacher's ability to make the class actually interresting. I was sure it would be boring for the entire session. During a break, I was told that something pretty sad happened at my school. A girl was raped last night at the residences, a place where foreign students/people too far away to go back home after school stay during the session. I felt pretty bad and was shocked when I heard what happened. I don't know who she is but holy shit that must be such an awful experience. I don't have the vocabulary to say how traumatising that must be. The guy that did this honestly needs to be sent in jail with a big pile of extra slippy soaps. 

After my classes, I went to see another play.

I watched 1h30 of tv today. I actually enjoy a movie sometimes, but I mostly watch hockey on my tv. 

Now I'm going to bed.

Weekly goals: Clean my room (almost done), catch up on schoolwork (scheduled for saturday) and go drop more resumes. 

Have a great day/goodnight/good evening!

-Phil

[Attempt #2]

Day 7 (7.78 % comptlete berore lvl 90)

Hi tuys; thank you for the tips!
Today was okay. I had trouble sleeping again, so I woke up at 7 am, which mean I slept 7 hours. I stayed in bed until 8:30 am. During that time, I tried using Headspace. I think it's a nice app, but I'm not sure yet if I want to pay for it. I also went on Instagram, Facebook and other apps that made me lose my time. I deleted the Facebook app, however I kept my Messenger app, because I need to to contact friends to hangout, as I don't have their numbers. My best friend doesn't have a phone, so we can only on messenger.

After deleting Facebook, I decided to delete Instagram too. When I'm bored, I normally just go on Instagram and look at random memes that are recommended. I could be reading a book instead, but I keep watching random pictures. I remember, when I was a kid, I used to read so much and I loved it. I could read already by the time I was 5. I would read 300+ pages books in 2-3 days while the others in my class were reading very small books with lots of images when I was 6. I was pretty advanced for my age. My notes were great obviously, so my dad initiated me to video games. That's when I gradually stopped reading for fun. 

I really wish the love of reading is still deep somewhere in my brain. I think video games replaced reading when I was younger, but I now wonder if reading will replace gaming. 

So, back to my day. After deleting those apps, I also deleted Youtube. I will watch Cam's videos mostly for now, but I want to find channels to cultivate me, help me finding myself, make me discover new books, places, food, etc. 

I went to my class today and I surprisingly was feeling good. I had always liked this class, which is acting, but today was something more. Recently, I was alone and distant, trying to avoid talking to people outside the necessities of the class. Today, I talked more. It felt good.

 After that, I went straight to see a play. It was a heavy and kind of sad, but I really enjoyed it. 
Also, I started cleaning my room. I made my bed, took out every trash that was in my room and decided what to keep and what not.

Now I am going to sleep. Big day tomorrow.

Have a treat day/Goodnight/good evening

-Phil

[Im New, a Few Words and a Few More]

Welcome Ben! 

We believe in your success! 

[Attempt #2]

Day 6 (6,7% completed before level 90)

I kinda like the % counting. Thank you for your kind words guys. I read the article on procrastination and it was basically describing my habits. I will do as said, which is planning what I need to do, such as chores and homework. I am currently using the basic calender on my iPhone and I think it's okay, but if you guys have other apps or tips, please let me know! Also, the reason why my girlfriend needs time to forgive me is because I lied to her for about a month. I did not tell her I had relapsed and that I was missing classes to play. Also, I was talking way less to her because I was always playing. I told her everything I did and now she needs time to process and forgive.

Today was an okay day. Last night, I had trouble sleeping. It was very hard to fall asleep and I woke up multiple times before I decided to take a pill that was supposed to make me relax and sleep. So, I fell asleep at about 2:30 am and my alarm clock never went off. I woke up two hours late, so I missed my first period. I felt bad and I was mad too, because I was sure I activated my alarm clock before falling asleep. I now have to plan a 2h session at the school gym to get back the hours I lost during my class. I think this is not too bad, because I want to start working out. I am tall, skinny and only seventeen, so I think working out would be good for my health and my appearance. 

I went to my two other classes tho and I went to my gf's house tonight.

Weekly goals: Nothing changes. Clean my room and go drop resumes.

Have a great day/Goodnight/Good evening!

-Phil

 

[Attempt #2]

Day 5:

My productivity was total crap today. I feel like crap. I could not get anything done. I woke up at around 10 am and my dad invited me to go eat breakfast at a restaurant. This was fine. I came back home alone and prepared myself for a normal day. I took a shower and got ready to go out to drop some resumes. 

Suddenly, I felt not too good. I don't actually know what happenned. I just sat on my bed and started playing guitar and sing. Then, I watched videos for about 3 hours. There I was, doing stupid things again. My room was still messy, I had to do my chores and go drop resumes. I didn't do much.

At about 7pm, I watched hockey. I had planned to watch it since I woke up, but I felt really bad watching it. During the commercial breaks and period breaks, I did my chores. After the game, I went to bed because I  just was not in the mood to clean my room. I obviously will not be in the mood to do it any time soon, but I have to do it. It's just better. 

Mu girlfriend talks less to me, because she needs time to forgive me and I learned that I needed time to forgive myself too. So today, I woke up, ate with my dad, took a shower, did not do anything productive and went to bed. I am not sleeping well at all.

I'm only five days in and I can't get my shit together. I feel like I relapsed, but I did not. Watching videos for so long and procrastinating makes me feel that way. I have trouble finding myself again now that video games are out of my life. Tomorrow I have a big day. I feel like I won't go through it easily. I have been thinking about playing today. I keep procrastinating and this is most certainly my biggest flaw. If you guys have any suggestions on how to slowly get rid of it, I will gladly recieve them. I know that it will all get better soon, just after two weeks or so, I remember the growing positivity of my 90 day detox that I did 3 months ago. I feel like this detox will be harder than the first one, but I don't know why I feel that way. I think I don't know myself very well after all.

Weekly goals: clean my room, go drop resumes. 

Have a great day/Goodnight/Good evening!

-Phil

[Attempt #2]

Thank you guys for your support. Also, congrats on your first marriage anniversary!

Day 4:

Today was a fine day. I woke up late because I was very tired and hungover. I got ready to go out again, with my girlfriend, at another party. Tonight, I did not drink alcohol. This was not an ordinary party, because it was more like a "fake" one, to shoot a little movie that my gf co-produces for school. I had some fun, although there were mostly people that knew each other and I was not really feeling included. I still talked to some guys there and it was not too bad. I just got home, that is why today's journal is so late. I did not think about gaming today. Tomorrow I have a free day, so I will clean my room and go drop few more resumes. 

Weekly goals: I will clean my room tomorrow. Monday I will go drop my resume at a pet store and tomorrow I will go drop one in a store named HMV. (A store that sells music discs, movies and merchandise. View it as some kind of geek shop) 

Have a great day/Goodnight/Good evening!

-Phil

[Attempt #2]

Day 3:

Today was a rough day. Yesterday I had a fight with my gf and we talked earlier. I know my mistakes and I will improve myself as much as I can. She will need some time to trust me again and I completely understand. 

Today, I attended my classes. I talked to my teacher a little bit about my situation and he said that it was okay, he wished me luck. I am 6 classes behind on others. 

Tonight, I am going to a party. I will enjoy it as much as possible. I did not think about gaming today. I talked to my gf and my father about the fact that I wanted to sell my computer. My dad said he would help me. 

Weekly goals: I printed some resumes and I will apply for a job monday at a pet store. I still need to clean my room.

Have a great day/Goodnight/Good evening!

-Phil

[Attempt #2]

Are you still with your gf? Personally things are very bad right now because she lost her trust towards me. 

[Attempt #2]

Day 2

Thank you a lot for your support, I really appreciate it!

 

Well, today was officially the first entire day without video games. Yesterday, I joined in afternoon and I played in the morning.

Today, I attended all my classes, which is good for me.

In the past month or so, I was not attending most of my classes to play LoL, causing my grades to be atrocious. I want to attend all my classes the rest of the semester.

Today, I smiled and almost laughed in class. This was something I was not doing since I started playing again. I just found jokes to be boring and when I was in class. I could only think of gaming and what I would play when I'd get home. Now that I know I won't play when I get home, I was not thinking about playing as much. When the semester started, I was not playing any games and I was doing great. I talked a lot to people in my group and I was seen as "the must talk to guy". I am currently in a theatre program, where I mostly learn to act. Obviously, most people in that program are extraverted. I had made friends with a couple of them and they loved the way I act. When I started playing video games again, I became silent, distant and I was not as often at school. When I was at school, however, I was asked frequently if I was okay or what was wrong (because I barely smiled and I was tired), only to respond with: "Yeah, I'm fine." or "It's complicated." Today, I explained the situation to someone I appreciate and he understood me. It was nice to talk to him.

I went to the library and got 2 sci-fi books.

Today was a good day, but 2 jours ago, when I came home from school. I had a fight with my girlfriend and I totally undestood why she was mad. She said that I was not talking to her enough, that I was always distant and that I wasn't the same. She thought I was at school, when I was a lot at home playing video games. I am ashamed to tell her that I relapsed some time ago and that I want to stop again. I need to tell her, so I will call her when she gets back at her house.

When we fought, I wanted to just forget the situation and go play, but I stopped for a minute and decided against it, which I am proud of.

I am proud to have been to school for an entire day. It is a very small step, but it's a step.

Tomorrow, I will go for the first time in 5 weeks to a class. I want to catch up.

Weekly goals: Talk to my girlfriend about the situation and find a way to deal with it again, clean my room, put my resume up to date.

Finally, for the rest of the evening, I will watch hockey. I enjoy watching hockey, as it makes me think of something else than video games.

Have a great day/good night/good evening!

P.S. I apologize for any mistakes in the post, English is my second language.

-Phil

[Attempt #2]

Day 1

I'm starting all over again. I know why I want to stop. It destroys my life. It destroys my social interractions, my intellect and my time. I will not download games. I will focus on not playing or watching videos. I have people to help. This place is a great community. i can play guitar, read stories and study more. By stopping playing, I know what it will do to me. I've done it before. I will feel wayyy better. I need to remember that feeling I had a couple months ago. I felt powerful, intelligent and proud of myself. I need to always remember that games will only make me feel bad about myself. I CAN DO IT.