My name is Alex, and today begins what I hope will be remembered as the day I turned my life around. Yesterday, as I lost another 6 hour block of time gaming when I needed to be working my dissertation, I had an epiphany. Two emotions arose from that gaming session. Firstly, the fact that I did not notice 6 hours pass was quite disconcerting, and secondly, when I should have been stressed after wasting so much time, I felt surprisingly happy. It then struck me that I was having a physical reaction to gaming. I felt like what I imagine a drug addict would who had just just taken a hit.
After many past half-hearted attempts to try to understand my behavior, I finally felt compelled to do something about it. I came across Cam's TED talk and then gamequitters.com, and was blown away by how much his words and those of people on this forum resonated with me. I picked up a Respawn package, and haven't felt this confident in a long time. I still can't believe what started as a hobby 20 years ago (!?) had evolved into something that almost cost me my PhD....
And so, today begins my 90-day detox. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was collect my games and consoles and promptly trade them in at gamespot. I do not believe I have the willpower to avoid them if they are in arms reach. At first I was terrified at the thought, but I now at the end of the day I feel a strange sense of peace. Meditation via Headspace is also incredibly helpful.
I know that I'll need courage and perseverance to get through this transition, but I finally feel like my life is moving forward again after too long a period of stagnation.
Daily Journal
in Daily Journals
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Day 1: "And so it begins"
My name is Alex, and today begins what I hope will be remembered as the day I turned my life around. Yesterday, as I lost another 6 hour block of time gaming when I needed to be working my dissertation, I had an epiphany. Two emotions arose from that gaming session. Firstly, the fact that I did not notice 6 hours pass was quite disconcerting, and secondly, when I should have been stressed after wasting so much time, I felt surprisingly happy. It then struck me that I was having a physical reaction to gaming. I felt like what I imagine a drug addict would who had just just taken a hit.
After many past half-hearted attempts to try to understand my behavior, I finally felt compelled to do something about it. I came across Cam's TED talk and then gamequitters.com, and was blown away by how much his words and those of people on this forum resonated with me. I picked up a Respawn package, and haven't felt this confident in a long time. I still can't believe what started as a hobby 20 years ago (!?) had evolved into something that almost cost me my PhD....
And so, today begins my 90-day detox. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was collect my games and consoles and promptly trade them in at gamespot. I do not believe I have the willpower to avoid them if they are in arms reach. At first I was terrified at the thought, but I now at the end of the day I feel a strange sense of peace. Meditation via Headspace is also incredibly helpful.
I know that I'll need courage and perseverance to get through this transition, but I finally feel like my life is moving forward again after too long a period of stagnation.
Goals for tomorrow:
1) Wake up at 7am for Headspace meditation
2) Exercise for 30 minutes
3) Go to library to work- home is too distracting