[A ladies man hooked by WoW :(]

Hey there man, your post made me laugh my ass off Welcome to the forums man. One thing I want to warn you about, my friend, is that you may not want to be watching YouTube videos of video games. I had a month long relapse just recently which I largely attribute to watching YouTube videos. Yes, they absolutely do make you feel better, but what happens is you quickly start to miss the game and then you see someone do something cool in the game and you have the irresistible urge to play again. Watch out for that.

Go out and get more B*chez man!

[My Journal, by Zane]

?Haha, it takes a real man to admit that!

Zane, you'll have to let us know how your karaoke adventure goes! If you do it sober, you're a braver man than I!

?hahaha I will let you know. I'll probably sing Smile Like You Mean It by the Killers

[My Journal, by Zane]

My first two days of classes have gone nicely. I find myself feeling very different about my classes than I have in the past. I really am excited about my business class. The teacher is a cool guy who owns a business in real estate and he is very excited about Entrepreneurship, as am I. I am taking an intro to business course with him, but based on the things he talked about on the first day of class, I truly believe that this will be a great opportunity for me. I am also excited about the other classes I am taking, including my Critical Thinking class and Career and Life planning class. I'm also taking a class on Computer Info Systems, which is a 4 hour class starting at 6pm on Mondays (that's gonna be a little painful) but the teacher is great, and I'm also taking an online English class and will be working in a week. I'm glad that school has started, and it seems to be what I needed to become active again. I already feel momentum and I hope to ride this momentum and not to lose it. My goal this semester is to get straight A's, something I have never done before. I'm almost done reading the Slight Edge (after taking a month long break) and it has served to reaffirm my "burning desire backed by faith" to follow my dreams.

This year has seen a huge development for me. I attribute it to a lot of things, including books and articles I have read, videos I have watched, and people I have spoken to you, and in no small part these forums. For the first time in my life I know what I want to do, not specifically of course, but I know what I want to do. Entrepreneurship is a lifestyle, and philosophy that resonates with me, and wherever that takes me is where I want to go.

Each day I do still feel the temptation to play that computer game I've been playing, but with having things to do I find it much easier to say no. My next big test will be what I do on the weekend. I'm going to find out if somehow I can block games on my computer and perhaps have someone else know the password to those changes, to prevent me from failing.

I'm not going to talk to much about what I'm going to do to ensure that I succeed the rest of this year. I like to talk about it and think about it but I have learned that the more excited I am about something, the more I tend to think about it rather than simply do it. And I know that a few weeks from now my excitement for these courses will run out and will start to feel like a drag like always happens, but on the other hand if I see that I am doing well in my classes and other activities I'm doing I will be excited and motivated to continue with that momentum and feel great about myself.

Overall I'm doing pretty good right now

[My Journal, by Zane]

My fall semester began today, and I'm starting to get busy again. My last post was 14 days ago? I don't believe it. Where did that time go? Jeez.

Two interesting things happened this last week, which I want to share. First, I received a call from a friend who I made while playing Destiny. He is a 29 year old guy with whom I used to stay up late chatting with and playing the game. He used to drink and play video games alot but now he tells me that he is making changes to his life, and its becase of me. He admires me and I'm surprised and happy to hear about his success. He told me that he has started working out again and that his tv and consoles stopped working suddenly and he doesn't even care. He and I were talking about Destiny and how the game creators used psychology to hook people on the game and we laughed at it all. I thought it was great though to hear that I had made such a positive impact on another person. I haven't felt like I was making a positive difference on people since high school, when I had alot of friends.

The second, and more interesting thing that was quite shocking to me, happened to an old friend of mine from high school. He is a guy my age who introduced me to Halo and Skyrim several years ago. When I didn't want to come home to deal with my parents I would hang out at his house. He was a cool friend, and he liked computers and even taught me a few things about them. Unfortunately he was also bullied by some of the people at school and one weekend at some sort of event or football practice or something, he pulled out either an airsoft gun or nerf gun, i dont remember which, either way it doesn't matter because he got expelled. Anyway, we both graudated in different schools but remained friends and last year when I moved to San Jose we kept in touch a little on facebook. However, we stopped talking suddenly and I didn't think to much of it. I pretty much forgot about him until last week when he messaged me on facebook, after a year of not messaging me. It was odd, because all of a sudden I get a random message of him asking me which Halo was my favorite, and how is San Jose? I respond to his message and say thats im doing alright and stuff and then he tells me that a year ago he got into a car accident and broke his neck and is now a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck down.

When he told me that I was very shocked and I didn't know what to think. How horrible. I thought to myself I would rather die than live like that. But it also reminded me that while bad things have happened to me, its nothing compared to what happened to this poor guy. I called him on the phone and we just chatted and stuff and I'm resolved to call him more often to be a friend to him because he needs it I'm sure. He still is interested in computers and video games and now he is even taking college classes!

I feel like this can and should serve as motivation for me to live my life to the fullest, and stop wasting my young healthy body on soda and video games, to go out there and do things that my friend Jehremy cannot and will not ever do. He had a really good attitude considering his situation. I guess that being positive is the only way to be in his situation anyway.

As to the 30 day challenge, I'm just damn scared of doing things like karaoke, or starting a conversation with someone I don't know. It's not like I've never done crazy scary things in my life. I've done way scarier things than those things, and honestly I have conversations with strangers fairly frequently and I have no problem whatsoever.

That dance video i made was very uncomfortable for me. I only was able to do it because I was fairly comfortable with the game quitters community. I wouldn't have posted it to facebook though because it would be so embarassing.

My mind is just rebelling from some of these challenges. I'm certain that they could be really good for me, but it's so much easier just to complain about them I mean, some of the challenges are comparattively so much easier. Take a cold shower? Done. Write out a list of things you need to do? Done. Buy a whiteboard? Done. Go to a place you've never been and sing a song in front of strangers? Can't I just take another cold shower?

[My Journal, by Zane]

I'm back guys

I'm not going to write something long right now, just gonna discuss a few things. Wow it has been a month since I last posted here. I went back to video games because I was very uncomfortable with everything and games were so calming and I didn't have to worry about anything. And I quit once again because the problems in my life have started to stack up and my health has deteriorated. It looks like I'm back to square one.

Never in my life though have I felt so weak and lonely. I can remember feeling at the top of life in the past, but that doesn't help me now.

See, I knew I'd be back here soon, I just didn't know quite when that would be. I would be embarrassed but this feels too serious to be embarrassed about. Anyway, I'm back

I really want to start making some friends and getting out there again. I want to feel happy again, its been nearly a year since I felt truly happy. So, I'm trying this again. I don't think I will fail like this again. I really don't want to. I appreciate your support. It's time to go again, and this time do things right.

Hey Cam, how did you recover from your relapse, and what did you learn from it?

[My Journal, by Zane]

Well, I've been playing a video game for almost two weeks now, and uninstalled/ reinstalled the game like 5 times. I found it odd that I knew everything I knew, and yet still let myself succumb again and again. But, I'm trying again. I uninstalled the game and deleted the game files and made it so that it would be difficult to get the game back again. I had fun playing it though. I got good in two weeks time, and I really do like strategy games. Oh well. Time to reboot. And... I got a date! She's super cute, and I mean super cute. One of the cutest girls I've met and I asked her out and she wants to go to lunch with me haha. Next Saturday we are going to hang out and I'll see about posting pictures here after

Yay! Okay, so yes, I did disrupt my goals, but I still have time to get on track. Time is running short for some of the important things I need to do but I can still do them. I will begin to post regularly once more. Love you all.

[My Journal, by Zane]

Day 14

Too tired, will talk later

lol

[My Journal, by Zane]

?Two things that might help turn waking up earlier into a habit:

1. Move your alarm out of reach of the bed. Just outside your room if possible. Make it a really annoying or embaressing noise/song to ensure you get out of bed to turn it off. Assuming you use your phone as an alarm you can also find apps to solve logic or maths puzzles before you can turn off your alarm, which could help you feel awake.

It's not perfect - when I've done it I find a fair amount of the time I just turn it off and get back into bed. But it at least switches the willpower aspect from an active thing (having to get out of bed) to a passive thing (having to not get back into bed).

2. I haven't tried this, but...practising during the day. There isn't much else I like on Pavlina's site, but this article does sound like it could be useful. Essentially it advises getting into bed during the day for five minutes, making all the same preparations (wearing pajamas, brushing your teeth, turning the light of) and setting an alarm. Imagine its the morning. When the alarm goes off, stretch and get out of bed, get dressed etc. He advises doing several sessions over a few days, much like doing sets and reps at the gym. Slowly your response to the sound of your alarm should change.

?Thanks very much man. As to solving puzzles in the morning, lol. I looked at that site and I like it. Definitely gonna be checking it out some more

[My Journal, by Zane]

An important lesson I have learned in life is to forgive myself when I fall short of my goals. Of course, I never lessen my resolve to keep on working towards them.

If these words do nothing to help you, please disregard what I've said and carry on!

Thanks for the input man Hey, you are right, I should forgive myself. And I do. But I believe that because I'm so forgiving to myself that I don't punish myself enough to do better next time. I keep making the same mistakes and so I'm trying to tackle it in different ways.

lol I'm not making myself sleep on the floor as punishment to myself. HAHA. It's intended to help me reap future rewards.

[My Journal, by Zane]

Alright, so I've decided a few things, hopefully they will be a solution to my problems.

First, I'm going to sleep on the floor for a week. That way getting up in the morning is not a problem. It will help with discipline. Second, I'll take a cold shower every morning for five minutes, because everything else for the rest of the day will be comparatively easier.

I kind of lost my way when I made a daily schedule. That schedule was helpful to me in taking note of my times and activities, but it is unrealistic to follow on a daily basis and discouraging if I slack off on even one piece of the schedule, causing me to give up on doing anything productive.

The other day I watched a video by FightMediocrity on willpower, and I learned that willpower is like a muscle, that grows tired as the day progresses. You have the most willpower in the morning. This really hasnt been true for most of my life but that doesnt mean I can't make it true. My personal trainer has told me to work out in the mornings because that is when testosterone levels are the highest. All over the internet the virtues of being a morning person is extolled, and Benjamin Franklin's famous quote is: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Days are so different that following a schedule for the entire day each day just sounds and feels wrong. Instead, if I do individual planning each morning, and weekly planning at the beginning of each week, then perhaps I can change how productive I am each day. The secret is of course in the morning routine, because mornings will be the thing that remains the same, no matter what day of the week. So, I've abandoned my generic daily schedule and restructured my morning routine:

Morning routine:
Wake up, drink water, meditate, 5 minute journal
Cold shower/ get dressed for gym
Go to gym, bring protein/ banana, work out
Come home, eat breakfast, read book, plan 3 urgent and 2 not urgent activities to complete during the day
Begin rest of day

and my night routine:
Prepare food for next day
Lay out clothes/ backpack for next day
Take warm shower/wash
Eat last meal, read, 5 minute journal, set alarm
Go to sleep

These two routines may turn my life around. I'm hoping.

I havent fulfilled my morning routine more than two days in a row so far, but this should work. meditiation and stuff i've only done like 9 times

[My Journal, by Zane]

?Great to see progress going so fast with you. I am really looking forward to the dancing video. Self help books are awesome and despite the fact that i am a really slow reader in english ( german is my mothertongue), i am nearly finished with the Slight Edge and i am looking forward to the next book. Gj with the showers

Haha I'm making decent progress in some areas, but in others I'm having a real hard time.

[My Journal, by Zane]

Days 10-13

I want to begin with the slight edge but I don't know how to get started.

I mean, the slight Edge makes sense, and I see how my acions brought me where I am, whereas the actions of certain others caused them to be in amazing universities living happy right now- I won't mention the person I'm talking about, but she's been on my mind all morning as usual.

I know I need to get up earlier and follow a schedule and meditate and stuff and I'm not doing anything right. I'm following the same bad habits.

My karaoke session will happen sometime after I get my next paycheck. I'll commit to it I promise.

I've been taking cold showers but I don't know if I could handle it in the morning. That's when my body is already cold from sleeping. In the morning is when I'm clamoring for warmth. Why is it a good idea to make my body even colder?

Daily workout, completion list, I've been working on all those challenges. But if the overall challenge is to improve my discipline, I'm failing big time.

I would really love to find in myself the ability to wake up earlier than 15 minutes before I have to leave for work. Well, I am awake, but I can't force myself to get out of bed until it's too late to do anything other than dress and grab food/ water, and pack my backpack (which I don't prepare the night before like I should). Trust me, I know i should be waking up earlier and doing things like laying my clothes out the night before, but I don't.

I'm too much a slave to comfort. My bed is way too comfortable. I miss days of working out because I'm too comfortable and don't want to get out and do it. I don't wake up early and give myself every excuse to not start my homework right away. This has always been a big problem with me, since high school and earlier. The past several months I would tell myself at school that when I got home I was gonna get straight to work but I would end up playing video games. Now instead of video games I read or watch youtube videos, which I do learn from, but I do it at the expense of bigger priorities. I even visit these forums too much. It's kinda like facebook except I talk to more people here so I'm more active here than on facebook. I need to get in the habit of only checking here once or twice a day instead of checking what people have written when I get bored.

Seriously though, I find it troublling that I can't get into a routine for more than a couple days at a time. How do I get myself to commit and follow through? I even made the pact with the 5 minute journal and then fell asleep one night without filling it out. Jeez. Some homeless dude is gonna get rich... except I can't even afford to follow through with that.

Meanwhile, while I am not depressed like I was before, the constant (and I mean CONSTANT) reminders of my failures are haunting me each day. I have an amazing memory which is a blessing and a curse and everything triggers a memory. I hold on to memories because they make me feel special and because I can't manage to remove them from my state of thought. Yes, I know that if I focused on other things that the thoughts could go away. But I don't have the willpower to force those thoughts aside. Only unexpected circumstances like speaking to another person or engaging in a really interesting project (or video games!) allow me to shift my focus away from those memories.

[My Journal, by Zane]

I kinda relapsed tonight. I don't have any video games but I spent like 4 hours watching video game youtube videos. So yeah. And I'm tired and I'm gonna be mad at myself tomorrow

[My Journal, by Zane]

whyyyy though

[My Journal, by Zane]

BTW, great moves, great song. "God damnit, Cam." maybe me laugh.

[My Journal, by Zane]

The movie quality is HORRIBLE. Do you have like a 15mb video limit? This was the only way I could upload it. I literally tried for 2 hours, using video software and different movie file types.

This is so embarrassing. Thank god there are only a few in this community to see this lol

Also, hey, I have no clue how to dance. jeez. Like seriously how the fuck does one dance.

Lana del Rey is a hottie tho

My Movie.mp4

[My Journal, by Zane]

I'm having trouble uploading it. It's a minute 31 seconds. I recorded it on my iphone. I'll try uploading it under a different file format tonight.

[My Journal, by Zane]

Day 9 or so

Hey I'm back. I was gone for a couple days because the wifi hasn't been working at my house and my phone is out of data. My weekend kind of reminded me of my old life living with my parents; no internet, no video games. But it wasn't unpleasant, unlike living with my parents. My weekend wasn't super productive, but I did get alot of things figured out and I also enjoyed myself just reading outside while eating yummy food I made. This means that I have done well at fulfilling my resting activity, though of course I am still working on my social and acheivement based activities.

On saturday I went to a huge farmers market and got good food and fulfilled my social challenge. Later I went to the gym and killed my legs. They're still super sore. On sunday I read more of the slight edge and the content got me emotional and inspired, which is what I tend to feel when I read self help books. I spent a good amount of time organizing my things as part of my project. I took a cold shower or two (ugh) and last night I made a video of me dancing. Thanks alot Cam. I look so ridiculous.

Because my Ipad wont let me post it right now, I'll post it later

[My Journal, by Zane]

?Got it! I might need to update that. Want to make sure everything is gender-neutral, single/married, etc.

?its more fun if its someone you find cute tho

We drove on the scooter for about 30 minutes, found a temple, some lookout spots, got a coconut and just had a fun time.

?C'mon, that cant be the whole story What do you mean fun time hmm

?

[My Journal, by Zane]

We drove on the scooter for about 30 minutes, found a temple, some lookout spots, got a coconut and just had a fun time.

Lucky

For the challenge it doesn't matter about someone being attractive. The point is to find something you appreciate about someone regardless of who they are. If anything, it's better if you find a 50 year old male and find a way to show them appreciation.

?I didn't meet anyone new today because I stayed at the house cause everyone is gone and I was watching the dogs and cat. Your instructions say find someone you think is attractive... but mmkay

?

[My Journal, by Zane]

Day 8

Today was chill. I spent a lot of time relaxing outside and enjoying the shade, reading the 5 minute gratitude journal then beginning to fill it out. After responding to Avinash's post I decided to devote most of my day toward learning more about nutrition. I re-watched a documentary called Fathead which I watched a year and a half ago, and learned even more than I did last time. I will make a post about it in the nutrition part of the forums later, because of how awesome it was.

I walked the dog, took a history test online, and decided that I want to hike one of the tall hills a couple miles from my house. I'll post pics tomorrow when its sunny. I never do things like that but I'm in the mood for adventures and besides I need fun activities to replace video games, which by the way I haven't felt any cravings for.

Umm, I didn't meet anyone attractive today (except that one person I saw in the mirror lol jk) So this challenge is gonna have to be delayed. Tomorrow I am going to the gym, grocery store, and farmers market, so I should be able to complete the challenge. Hopefully.

[My Journal, by Zane]

?If you ever want to get in touch with Alex, let me know. We have many mutual friends.

Haha. Here's what I'd recommend. Take a trip to Africa. See what's happening there first hand. That's how you will know best. A great organization you can watch is the Unreasonable Group. Their video series' are really cool. Just remember, the solutions are very rarely as simple as what you think. For instance, yes there are facilities to support the mental health of homeless... but they are horribly underfunded. Homeless is much less an issue of "laziness" and much more an issue of mental health.

Hey thats so cool that you know so many people Well I would love to get in touch with Alex, but I don't know how I could provide value to him. When I meet people whose attention I want I first try to think of how I can bring value to them.

You're right of course. Visiting Africa would provide perspective among other things. I didn't mean to act like it was a simple situation. I personally would never have children unless I could provide for their needs with my own resources. It seems like I'm in the minority compared to alot of the world. Yes, it is also true that I am fortunate to live in the United States, which is a decent country, compared to others. Personally I feel that we are becoming far too authoritarian and turning into a police state, and I have bad experiences with the police to back up this belief. But compared to African countries or middle eastern countries, I'm terribly lucky.

I'll check out the Unreasonable Group. Thanks for the input

[My Journal, by Zane]

A few hours after writing my last post, I came across this article:

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/246837?msc=fortunesocial

Interesting. So on one hand, I believe what I wrote, but on the other hand, I could be entirely wrong.

[PureDiscipline's Journal :D]

?I couldn't find it in downloads. Where is it?
Although my life is pretty busy already. I don't know if i have the time to do anything more

The 30 Day challenge is Cam's product for helping gamers move on from games. It is the step he has designed to follow after Respawn. ?Cam should provide a post in the forum and link to it.

A big part of the challenge is about finding time in your life to do the things that are important. The guide he provides helps you do just that. I wouldn't just turn down this opportunity. I think his challenge is worth making the time for, especially if you are trying to replace video games. Now, if you already have a schedule and direction in your life and don't need help moving on from video games, that's no problem, you don't need the challenge. But you might want to consider it

[My Journal, by Zane]

Hey, I just want to share that I will fill out the 5 minute journal for the next 5 days, and if I don't, I will have to give 40 dollars to a homeless person. This is a pact I made with the journal to ensure that I develop the habit loop of writing in the journal each day and night I'm really excited about this.

Why am I making my punishment be paying a homeless person? Do I hate homeless people? No lol. But I think that giving money to homeless people is counter intuitive. I like the saying: "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach him how to fish, feed him for a lifetime." If you keep giving money to homeless people, then they think that they don't have to contribute anything to society to make a living. They think that they can be provided for so they don't have to work. I'm not going to have any part in rewarding homeless people for being lazy. Now, its true that some homeless people might have mental disabilities, or perhaps can't work for some reason. Well, we have tax payer paid facilities to support people like that. If I'm gonna pay taxes anyway, they might as well be going toward something halfway productive.

I also have a theory on why starvation exists in the world. Take Africa for example. There are millions of starving kids, right? Do you know why there are millions of starving kids? Because we keep feeding them. African parents who can't even feed themselves decide to give birth to children. If only parents who could support their children actually gave birth to children, then there would be no starving kids. However, since we keep feeding those hungry kids, parents think they can give birth to more kids since they will be fed. This perpetuates the issue. By feeding starving kids, we are allowing more hungry kids to grow. Solution? Stop feeding them. I know, its a tough stance to maintain. What if I were one of those starving kids? Well, I would be upset at my parents for giving birth to me then forgetting that I need to be fed. Then I would follow my instincts and fight for survival. I would probably end up joining an African military group and murder lots of people. So... I'm not going to give money to a homeless person except to punish myself. LOL