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Zane

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    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    I weigh 122 lbs now. My goal is to weigh 170 lbs within a year. Of course, I'm shooting for healthy weight, with a large proportion of muscle mass. Thanks Joe lol video games are bye bye. Congrats on being a moderator haha

    I asked out two girls to lunch this week; both had boyfriends. YAY. Also, I think I've officially ran out of potential choices in my social sphere. Now... well damn, I gotta think of something.

    Yesterday my Argumentation class had a debate over whether college should be free. I thought that was really fun. I don't think college should be free; or rather, I know that its impossible for college to be free, since someone has to pay for it (ahem, taxpayers). So whoever thought "college should be free" was a jackass lol

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Hello Game Quitters Community xD

    ?I spent my last weekend in my hometown to visit my family/ siblings. Also, I went to lunch with my favorite teacher from high school and his son. Later that day I visited my friend Jehremy who is paralyzed from the neck down. I learned some really good news when I visited him. Apparently, he does have very weak movements in his body, and his family/ he hopes that he can work on reworking his body to move again. I hope so too.

    I've gone 36 days without video games. This is my longest I've gone without video games since perhaps before high school. That's pretty important. It's my first achievement, even if it's so far only a time measurement.

    Today I was reminded just how important it is to be outside your comfort zone, despite how damn hard that fucking sounds lol.

    Best of luck to you Cam, I hope your mentorship project shows good results. It was good talking to you. Y U no answer your texts though lol.

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Zane

    I did send her dates, fyi. :)

    I personally don't use Tinder, mostly because when I was using it I was coming from a place of lack. The type of attitude of: "I don't have a girlfriend and my life is incomplete without her." So I focused on my own mission as a man and I met women sporadically, eventually a few years later meeting my current girlfriend.

    The key for me to meet more people is to be in more social places. Studying in coffee shops, etc. Right now I'm in the lobby of Ace Hotel in NYC at a table with 12 other people who are all working away. Half are girls. I can easily start a conversation and see where it goes, and over time this strategy had me meet a ton of cool people, friends, lovers, etc.

    If you haven't read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, that would be a good one right now.

    Yes I am coming from a place of lack. There is a hole in my life that I cannot fill with "pursuing my purpose" as Deida would suggest. Yes, I started reading the book a couple months ago. It is FightMediocrity's favorite book. I thought it was decent although the language is a bit iffy. Anyway, this hole I'm talking about, I never really thought that tinder could help me patch it up. Devoting myself to working or studying or weight training only takes the edge off. I can function and I'm putting good habits together but every day I'm reminded of this huge gaping hole.

    I need to meet people in person, but I can't, because of the phenomenon that I described. I feel like it sounds like I'm making excuses. I'm super serious when I say I've never encountered this lack of social energy before. Perhaps I should start going to random coffee shops to meet people. But in that case I admit I would have no idea how to get things going. I would be intimidated to approach someone in those circumstances, boy or girl. I wouldn't know what to say.

    Anyway, next weekend I'm visiting my siblings and I'm excited for that. They live in Modesto where I used to live. I miss them and I'll be happy to see them again. Also gonna have lunch with one of my old high school teachers xD And, my birthday is in a couple days. This week should be pretty good; at least I hope it will be.

    My Journal - Joe

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    ?I'll never forget a few months ago when it felt like it was literally just me and you commenting back and forth every day after a few of the first few members disappeared for a bit (ZANE!!).

    The momentum continues to build. Redesign of the main website has helped a lot I think.

    ?wut

    ?

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Zane

    23 days, no games, and no temptations to play them. Although... I had to see what changes Bungie made to Destiny with their latest release. It looks like the game finally has a story.

    Also, out of curiosity, I checked out the online destiny info tracker. I haven't played in 5 months, but I'm still ranked in the top 1 percent xD Lol and half the time I was letting my 11 year old buddy Logan wreck my K/D

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Zane

    If you had to say this to someone, how would it make you feel?

    Not that bad, I guess. If I loved her then of course it wouldn't matter.

    Haha so after that conversation we had on sunday I decided to try out tinder again. In one day I got 8 matches. Over the course of the day five of them messaged me and immediately gave me their phone numbers/ email and were like you wanna get to the dirty stuff? And all five ended up messaging me to go to some site for webcam or some bullshit. I haven't had any other interaction on tinder since.

    This is why I think tinder is really dumb. It's alluring to people like me who can't find anyone, but its full of bs and free advertising for girls cams or whatever.

    Also, it distracted me big time. Like, for the past two weeks I've been putting together great habits. I've been on track with my eating and weight training goals. I've benn doing my homework and getting good sleep. But thinking about tinder the last two days was so distracting that those habits dissapeared immediately, and I had nothing to show for it.

    I'm back on track again but this situation only reaffirms what I thought about tinder/ online dating in general.

    I mean, I wish I was wrong, but this is the hand I've been dealt.

    I feel really good today for some reason. I've got energy and I got effortless dopamine. Most days aren't quite like this. I did have a good workout this morning. I'm out of practice with public speaking but I gave two orientations to the tutoring center I work at in front of two classes, without much effort, and I was surprised because the last orientation I gave did not go near as smoothly.

    Also, to Cam, that teacher I was talking about says she is still working on scheduling before she responds to you. Make sure to mention which days you will be in San Jose if you haven't already.

    The coolest surprise of the day was when that teacher told the class she wants to give away her ex's three wakeboards. There was a drawing and I get first pick xD And I love wakeboarding! Even though I've only had three opportunities to wakeboard in my life, I am quite good at it and I enjoy it immensely. Wakeboards are expensive, and she's giving one to me. I don't know if and when I'll be able to use it though.

    My Journal - Joe

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Zane

    ?I got my blood work done today, and I have a new goal. My goal is to get my cholesterol under control. It is way too high! Blood pressure and weight are doing good though. Besides losing those last nine pounds, I need to get my cholesterol under 200 (I don't feel like looking up the units even though numbers without units annoy me). Today I was at 267 which is not good.

    Here is my strategy to get it right:

    1. I must not eat more than 3 eggs a week.

    Hey man, you're making a mistake! I read your entry and I had to say something. I know you don't feel like looking up the units, but you should! This link has a short article which can provide a basic understanding: http://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases_conditions/hic_Cholesterol/hic_what_do_cholesterol_numbers_mean?

    When it comes down to it, all you really need to worry about are your HDL and LDL levels, and how they compare to each other. The higher the ratio of HDL to LDL, the healthier you are, and least at risk for heart disease. HDL is found in a lot of healthy foods, and eggs is one of the most important sources of HDL! I eat on average 20-25 eggs per week, and I probably should eat more. Eggs are incredibly good for you, in fact you should really check out this link: http://www.healthextremist.com/are-eggs-good-for-you-30-reasons-to-eat-eggs/

    ?That link tells you all you need to know about eggs, and even links studies where participants who ate more eggs had lower LDL levels, than those who didn't, and higher HDL levels, which is EXACTLY what you want. The number you got for cholesterol is not near as important as you think. If you read the first link I gave you it will tell you what you want the numbers to look like. If your cholesterol level is high but your LDL levels are low and your HDL levels are high, then you're very healthy.

    ?I do think the rest of your strategy is sound. More exercise is great, and walnuts are a healthy source of fats. I like them too :) Seriously though, eat as many eggs as you can xD

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Zane

    lol you guys are funny. I do in fact have a friend who met his current girlfriend on tinder, and they are a very cute and happy couple. I'm happy for him.

    But... when my aunt first suggested I try out dating sites, I was horrified.. The idea of dating online doesn't feel romantic, or natural, it feels desperate. But, twice now I've tried tinder/ OKCupid. I gave them both a running shot twice. After a few weeks of tinder, I had like 2 matches and one girl was a webcam girl who kept texting me to view her site and I was like haha no thanks (It probably was a 40 year old man texting me). On OkCupid I didn't get a single like or message the first time. The second time I had only one meaningful experience. I was set to go on a date with a girl, who was very cute as well, however she flaked on our date, saying she was really sorry, but unexpected events/ return of someone she knew, changed her mind. Other than that I got a guy who liked my profile because he wanted homosexual company I suppose (after reading his profile). Since then I've checked once or twice, and had no interaction, even though I messaged a lot of women. Dating sites seem to me to be as harmful to the mind as porn is, and while my friend (and Joe) may have found success, I'm a bit disgusted with it. It doesn't seem natural to me. I mean, I wouldn't want someone to ask how we met and say "oh we met online" even if I did find someone. I've never faced this problem of not finding people in my community. Not in high school, not anywhere else I've been. Unfortunately this situation has led me to cultivate a scarcity mindset, despite my desire not to endorse such a mindset. It's like growing up believing you will always be poor, because you haven't met people who have money. But when you do meet rich people, they teach you a better mindset and stuff. Well, I haven't met any women in so long, it's just so sad. I might as well be on a nuclear submarine.

    Anyway, what did I do today. I went to the gym, walked for hours, then cooked a stew for 4 hours. It should last me a long time. Before I go to bed I'm gonna have to write a response to a story called "On the Rainy River" by Tim O'Brien, about a guy who runs away to avoid being drafted for the Vietnam War. I'm probably gonna write about how I would do the same to avoid being drafted myself. Imagine that, being forced from those you love to go put your life on the line and kill people, all in the name of U.S foreign interests. I've read about the war, it began when the U.S decided to send forces to defend French Imperial interests in Indochina, and ended up turning into an "anti- communist War." Eww.

    I just. gotta. stay. the. course.

    thank you all for being here for me :)

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    I hope this describes my problem better. This isn't a problem I'm comfortable with describing to people, because I don't think they'd understand, and I would feel judged. I'm sharing it with you guys.

    Also it's embarrassing to be harping about it still after so many months, but unfortunately I can't get it out of my head. ?

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Zane

    ?I am in the same boat with nails. As far as meet ups go have you considered maybe learning a martial arts or boxing? Its competitive, healthy, strategic and you get to meet new people in a fun sport (like judo). And the ladies will like that too im sure

    Glad to hear your taking school seriously :) i always regret not having given my grades my full attention. Its one of those things most people learn later on about. Its like appearance, getting top grades is just another representation of yourself and your standards.
    As far as girls go, nobody remains hot as they get older anyway so go for the ones with personality ^_^ and show of impressive direction. Thats gonna be way better then a girl who drags you down with her social problems and habits but happens to be pretty. If you can get both then jackpot!

    Sorry, I forgot to specify, when I said "none of the girls are attractive" I was also talking about their personalities. Regardless though, even physical attraction is an ABSOLUTE necessity for a healthy RELATIONSHIP, otherwise it's just a friendship. For better or worse, dating is about eventual procreation, and both parties must have a very clear motivation to procreate. You can't rewrite those human instincts, nor should you. I'm talking about people in general. But, this situation is especially sensitive and important to me, because I used to have a great relationship with a girl who had both (great personality/ looks), and it was the best experience of my life. I desire to find a similar experience again, this time having learned from my mistakes, but I am heavily discouraged due to the situation I described in my previous entry.?

    I hope this describes my problem better. This isn't a problem I'm comfortable with describing to people, because I don't think they'd understand, and I would feel judged. I'm sharing it with you guys.

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Zane

    I have so many bad habits I need to break. Like biting my fingernails all the time.

    Oh and also, I talk to myself CONSTANTLY. I used to talk to my ex for 3-4 hours each day. Now I talk to myself 3-4 hours each day. lol. Anyone else have this problem?

    My Journal, by Zane

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Zane

    Hey everyone! I haven't made a post in a couple weeks but I've been checking up on these forums every day. I've been game free for something like 17 days, which is the longest I've gone without since summer of 2013. Even then I played as often as I could, but I've gone all in with my personal change and I'm feeling great about it. My final temptation to play games was with my computer. I was worried about a few weeks ago but now I'm not even concerned. I am pretty happy to not play anymore. And, I've been (slowly) replacing my time with better activities. I've continued to read, work out, and for once I'm staying on top of my homework. My homework actually interests me for once, in part because I love my classes. Like I said before I have an English argumentation class and a business class. Both these classes cover topics and activities that I'm growing passionate about. I've always gotten a kick out of arguing against the majority opinion, and this class seems specifically designed to support that. Instead of posting regularly here I've actually been making posts for an online English memoir class which I'm taking for general education. It is pleasant to open up about my life to others, as it is something I've really only starting doing this year. As for my business class, I'm learning all sorts of things about economics and economies and I'm keeping up during lectures, which is phenomenal, because in the past I've never kept my attention on the teacher for such extended periods of time.

    Some of my other habits are suffering... I haven't kept my room clean or been advancing with my completion list, meditating, or getting a proper amount of sleep. But I have been taking cold showers, working out, eating healthy (though not eating enough for my training), and today I talked on the phone to my little siblings and I intend to make plans to visit them soon. I ordered a book on amazon which I hoped would replace my desire to game or watch entertainment. It's a book based on the Halo series, and I never read sci- fi but I said why not, its a cool replacement for the video game I used to love. I ended up getting the book and reading it for 5-6 hours each day, finishing it in two and a half days. I couldn't put it down. I have to say that one of the biggest challenges in my life would be my inability to find a balance of what I want and need to do. I lack the discipline to maintain discretion; to, say, read the book for an hour each day instead of 5-6 hours.

    I spoke to students from other schools taking classes at my school, and those students concurred with me that there is a strange phenomenon at my school. Nobody is social, nobody hangs out, or meets outside of school, nobody dates, and none of the girls are attractive. It's crazy how even other students concur with me that there's something very odd about my school. Also, when you've gone over a year without meeting a girl you'd like to date it really gets to your head. This is really getting to me. My problem isn't even that I can't get a girl on a date. My problem is that I cant meet any I like, and trust me I'm not even being picky. I don't know how else to explain this very real problem for me. I'm at a loss for what to do.

    I've checked meet-ups in my area. After choosing a big list of interests, there are surprisingly few meetups available (and this is a big city). They are all meetups taking place at awkward times, late at night, and often charging for entry. Meetups don't seem to be a very viable option. Not at least until I start driving.

    How else can I meet new people? This never used to be a problem for me. In high school I was never lacking for friends. I'm a lot more social now and confident in myself but I can't meet anyone my age or who is- can anyone offer advice? I keep thinking that if I were living in a college dorm I would have no lack of friends but since I am not around anyone and nobody wants to hang out or anything I have gone a year without making any real friends, and I'm getting impatient. I was able to make 10 new good friends each month playing video games a few hours a day, not even trying to make friends. Haha they're all on facebook asking where have I gone. I still talk to some of my old high school friends, but they are so spread out all over the place, and I lost my closest friend 11 months ago.

    Despite how negative some of this may sound, I'm actually doing fine. In fact I would say I'm doing better than ever. That is probably why I'm so concerned and ready to change my social situation.

    I'm definitely 100 percent in this :)

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