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Matt C

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Posts posted by Matt C


  1. Pere you really sound like you’re radiating positive energy and change wherever you go - something I’m looking to get back to being “a radiator and not a drain”! It’s awesome to hear you connected with your boss on an emotional level, being able to discuss books like Yes Man really illustrates to him you’ve got a deeper understanding of your emotional intelligence and what makes you tick.

    Also excuse me for missing this if I did, but have you always been doing photography? Have you got a nice SLR camera? These landscape pictures you’re taking are pretty breathtaking, you should start an instagram if it interests you, you mentioned earlier how a mate of yours does it. It can be anonymous even, maybe start with “100 happy days”? It’s something i’ve attempted in the past, but only made it to day 60 or so. You simply take a photo of a scene or something that made you happy that day, in lieu of appreciation of it - somewhat like gratitude.

    When’s the Dr coming in for your talk at work?


  2. Hi Pere, I've got a lot of studying to be done over the next month and a bit until exams are over. I do seem to keep getting to the latter stages of my day and itch to open up a Hearthstone stream to zone out for some downtime. I've got a couple of books I've been reading and would like to start exercising daily as opposed to every other day.

    The issue currently seems to be when I'm fatigued from the day and I want to do something calming which used to be Hearthstone for me, I'd like to do these 90 days without watching streams, but I guess one thing at a time? I used to go out dancing quite frequently when I was still curating nights and DJing, however I've always been a little reticent to going back to it because of the associated lifestyle - I've been looking at different volunteering opportunities through the university recently. What worked for you?

    So Day 1:

    I've been having night sweats pretty regularly brought on from what I'm guessing is just residual anxiety so my sleeps been pretty awful - that's me feeling guilty and qualifying me only getting out of bed at 9AM. I got up, showered, jumped onto a little bit of writing for a summative assessment I have due tomorrow morning worth 50% of one of my modules. At 10AM I then left for a meeting with my academic supervisor at the Maths school, I opened up to him for the first time which was actually very cathartic and positive - discussing feelings of fulfillment and rekindling motivation to study and succeed at uni.
    I shot right back home to continue working on my deadline until 12:20 where I went to do some volunteering working with the elderly at the student's union until 5PM, bringing me back home now where I've just eaten some food and tidied my place a little to procrastinate getting back to work on my deadline.

    I'm pretty shagged, so i'm planning to get about 80% through my deadline, conk off tonight and get up early to finish off the rest of it to submit it at 11AM.

    I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully tonight's sleep goes smoothly, get up early and have a productive day. I've had plans with an old friend tomorrow -for nearly a month - to smoke some weed, have dinner and watch a movie with them; It's been on my mind all week because I haven't had the guts to tell them I don't want to smoke - I do; but, I just believe it's best not to right now in terms of productivity and being proud of myself.


  3. Hi guys, I made my intro post two days ago (Sunday) being sincerely committed to quitting and going through a 90 day detox - which will hopefully, and I believe, will lead to permanency. 

    Both Monday and today I've reinstalled Hearthstone on my phone in the late evening and played two to three games before promptly deleting it. So I'm treating this entry as day 0?

    These last few days have been very rough and intense, I've been struggling to remove myself from my bed in the morning despite being uncomfortable and only begin facing the trials of the day at about midday - apologies if this is coming off quite negative! I've since spoken with a few academics within my dept. whom I trust, and opened up about my waning mental state over the last Semester as well as cannabis usage - she/head of Comp. Sci. and Maths knows me well and knows a lot about my previous issues with respect to addiction, depression, eating disorders. It was all beneficial, i've since spoken with the university counselling and am registering with a local GP to enable me to go back onto antidepressants.

    Man it's quite late and I'm exhausted. It's been quite difficult to even write this post. I shut my laptop half way through and debated just ghosting this whole thing. A lot of anger arises when I think about the reality of my situation being riddled with self-induced "isms" and makes me want to run away from it all. 

    Anyways, I'm glad I persisted on and will treat this as a private/personal journal to gain most benefit via unscrupulous honesty. Day 1 tomorrow/today - it's late.


  4. Hey Pere,

    It’s been good to hear your story so far. You’ve really come a long way, I’m just starting out myself, but am picking some journals to follow. Yours has been incredible, keep up the good work filling your time with new and often uncomfortable experiences! I was most gobsmacked at how hardcore - regarding gym, getting up early, hustling hard in work - your routine was when you first started out; it’s a kick up my butt to me that I can get myself into a brighter situation within just a couple of weeks and keep building.

    and again! Screw judgements and haters, you keep following your path for the day which fulfills and challenges you, then everything will continue to fall into place!

     

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  5. Hi guys, I'm a 23 year old third year Computer Science and Maths student who's first experience PC gaming at 7 was with Diablo 2 and Starcraft BW. I've given these sorts of posts a go before on On-Line Gamers Anonymous, but my resolve never sticks, although I'm really really committed (but say this every time) - this time I'm most cognizant of this being more than gaming.

    I'll do my best to keep this brief and stick to what's relevant. I've been playing MOBAs for the last 4 years now, pretty much full on the second I began to play; although thinking about it now I had the ability to spend all day in the library at university, and then spend a few hours at night playing Heroes of the Storm - I've always had an addictive personality and have had extensive experience with Narcotics/Alcoholics Anonymous + eating disorders.

    I'm in my last year of university, I've always managed to scrape by with little to usually no attendance self learning and cramming for exams, however I'm struggling to get down to work as a result of my degraded self control from gaming. I really need to make sure I graduate with a 2.1, however I've accepted that I must just give it my best and accept what result I graduate with. I've pissed away 12 weeks of work + have extremely poor - basically negligible - coursework and midterm components contributing towards my modules in conjunction with the upcoming January exams.

    I've managed to quit smoking cannabis - huge co-addiction with gaming. I've surmounted the anxiety of the upcoming exams and accepted the state I'm in - I've been struggling to remove myself from bed in the morning and to "begin" my day though.

    So it's good to be here, right now it's all about today. I'm going to start a 90 day journal which I'll write up in the evening on the appropriate sub-forum.
    If anyone has any similar anecdotes i.e. being at university having poor grades and turning it around, being my age and getting to a better place over the space of a few months (I guess I'm impatient, which could be a downfall) - I know I'm still young but university has been such a blur and "waste" of time devoid of any character development

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