[My Journal - Alex]

Attempt II Day 4

Its past my 'bed time' so I'll make it quick.

I disappointingly didn't meet my running goal or work goal today; it was rainy most of the day so I didn't do the morning run and didn't go to the library to study and so didn't get the desired quantity of study done.

I have the same goals for tomorrow, same penalties and rewards.

I have been mostly confused during the day, mulling over whether my decision to quit gaming is well founded or not. After some meditation I was able to study better and  lean towards the idea that I can improve myself: I have tried and tested what gaming is like but not for self improving for at least 3 months.

If anybody can pitch in some related ideas on why quitting is better in the long/short term I would really appreciate it!

I downloaded some podcasts, so I will put those to good use tomorrow!

I am grateful for the game quitting gurus that hover through the community

I am grateful for being able to play Settlers of Catan the board game again with the family this afternoon, I won my first game in ages!

I am grateful for the consistent flow of suggestions that are posted on the forum!

[My Journal - Alex]

Days 19-26

No excuses. I've relapsed. On the last day of school I felt I needed a ‘reward’ and having been bored for weeks without games; and just started playing games when I saw my brother on Dark Souls 2. I had played about 2 hours a day since Wednesday and the guilt has crept in and my family are disappointed with my lack of commitment.

This feels like a good place to chime in. I've been reading up and I have to say, Alex you've been doing a great job! I totally get feeling guilty, but it's going to take time. I found it very intriguing that you've mentioned Dark Souls 2. I originally went to school for game design but swapped year later into english lit because as I discovered I'm just awful at math, but I digress. 

Lets dig a little deeper into why the souls games are appealing. I played Dark Souls thoroughly and only beat 2 once. Here's what I've learned from it: The game itself doesn't want to hold your hand. Of course it wants you to finish it and enjoy the content but it's by all means not easy. Let's apply this same concept to life. Boss fights in the game can be brutal to the point where others would throw their controller in frustration, but others stick it out and figure out ways to succeed.  Of course it's a video game and the rules and path are more or less set in front of you, but I thought it was rather sobering that it was a great representation of the path we all struggle on. 

Ultimately we're here because games have affected us Negatively now more so positively. And I'm sorry if using games to point out some of the positive things may stur up some cravings, but it's about learning from the mistakes to succeed  

 

Thank you Octsober, it actually was a very sobering thought to be reminded that life holds challenges similar to games, but that the path is not set out before us in real life.

I was also needed to be reminded that gaming as an adult generally has more negative effects than positive, which is why I searched out game quitters in the first place. I'll do my best to learn from my mistake and move on

[Jay's Epic Journey]

Nice to see you making progress Jay!

I'd suggest you number the days you have went without games, it will help motivate you to do the full 90 days. In terms of reading, please read The Slight Edge, it goes hand in hand with the goals you are setting up.

[My Journal - Alex]

Attempt II Day 3

Achieved my goals set yesterday, apart from the fact that I didn't time all my studying but I did about 6 x 50 minutes which is still a big improvement from yesterday. I ran a slightly longer distance, but did so in 14 minutes and 0.06 seconds compared to 15 minutes yesterday. I am making another diary entry, so I can tick that off the list. I managed to get the family to play Settlers of Catan together, which was fun despite me losing by a long shot. 

Goals met, I'm set! Now for some more goals for tomorrow, and will try implementing penalties for not completing tasks for extra motivation. By the way the generosity fund is a penalty I thought of a while ago when going through respawn, but didn't put into practice. It means that if I don't do the required task then I need to put $5 of my own money into a fund that I will later use on spending on friends or random people to start a conversation as a random act of kindness. I'll try trick myself into desiring really lame rewards for completing the tasks, we'll see how it goes.

Goals:

• Do 7 x 50 minute blocks of study, timed and recorded this time! Otherwise $5 to add to generosity fund. Reward: Extra museli bar in my lunch
• Run a new course that will take 20 minutes to run. ^^ Same penalty
• Get in bed and start reading by 8:20 - If I don't do this I will add $5 to my generosity fund. Reward: fruit snack

I had cravings to play Europa Universalis 4 this afternoon, but strangely I unintentionally subdued it by looking at completed games, and saw the amount of time invested in these completed games (about 900 hours+) which scared me I suppose.

I had multiple opportunities to get to know new people today, but I didn't think about the risk factor like I should have. No risk to health = safe, and talking to people develops social skills. Fear of embarrassment needs to be ignored because embarrassment is temporary.

I am grateful for the list of podcasts, motivational videos and music, and books I have accumulated to help me quit games.

i am grateful for socks. My feet just get cold all the time without them.

I am grateful that there are others willing to help me along the path to success.

 

[Australia]

I live in New Zealand, and also occasionally visit family in melbourne, tends to be around Christmas.

[Find it hard to get motivated every day?]

Thanks jay! These really are motivational, you've quickly become a real asset to the community

[I'm going to try]

Hi B1ggl3fty,

Likewise to kortheo, I too can relate to "My life isnt in shambles, but I feel like I'm missing out on so much." Gaming doesn't get in the way of much for me, but I know I still waste my time by playing video games and could be doing better things with my time.

Quitting something that has been ingrained into your habits for more than a decade will require quite a bit of time, but trying to go 90 days without games for a start would be a good thing to achieve. I relapsed a few days ago and has brought on a fresh wave of gaming nostalgia, so staying 100% game free for the 90 days is crucial if you want to rewire your brain to better enjoy 'normal' activities.

Although you say you only need to change habits, I insist that you find alternative activities to replace gaming because the lack of alternatives results in greater cravings for the instant satisfactions of gaming. I went for about 3 weeks without games before relapsing, the main issue being that I became incredibly bored and somewhat sad because I didn't put the effort in to try new activities to have fun. This quickly resulted in me running back to games with hope for happiness, little of which I got. So I highly recommend you look into alternative activities that will help you through this challenge.

Remember the wise words of Jedi master Yoda: "Do or do not. There is not try." I see your title says you will TRY. I have a twin brother that likes gaming heaps, so likewise by having a girlfriend that games you will need a strong resolve to quit games permanently, as you will see others having fun playing games regularly.

I hope my advice helps, I hope to see you make it through!

[Every Journal Starts With The First Post]

What's been going on Koyotelcarus? We haven't heard from you in a while! I hope you're keeping up good habits and are doing fine

 

[My Journal - Alex]

Attempt II Day 2

Today I got much more study done, and saw one of my teachers to help me with some things.

I had a short run this morning (15 mins or so) even though I don't normally do running on days I need to get up at 6. If I keep this up every day I will be running every morning!

I didn't do anything productive on the bus, I will make sure to study on the bus tomorrow, and listen to music at the same time to make a compromise (I would normally just read or listen to music).

Thank you again Jay, the questions you posed really helped me to think about what I wanted to get out of quitting games. I realised that I want to be a more social, motivational person who is not afraid to try new things and takes steps towards their dreams. I have an inkling of other ideas in regards to my dreams and what I want to do in the long run, but that generic model should be enough to get me going for now.

Thank you very much Elegwa, those were some great ideas to view each day more positively without games. The grinding idea I found really relevant, the only difference I will need to be aware of is that I won't be able to see the rewards I shall reap when 'grinding' in real life. I gamed on both a pc and console; I have already 'deleted' my steam account so I'm off pc games, but my twin brother and I share an XBOX 360 which he uses frequently so unfortunately I can't sell those, even if I'd like to. He wants to be a game developer so trying to convince him to change his mind about gaming is fruitless, even if he spends countless hours playing. I have felt regrets in getting rid of my steam account, but I know I can become a better person without gaming. Thank you again for the advice!

Targets for tomorrow:

• Do at least 7x 50 min chunks of study and study related activities while out studying and 1x 50 min at home
• Run a longer distance in the same amount of time in the morning (I will set the time to use to 20 minutes)
• Make another diary entry
• Do something fun at home!

I am grateful for the consistent flow of feedback and support from the community

I am grateful for my dad helping me realise that gaming actually does harm me by reducing my ability to cope with real life situations and reducing social capability

I am grateful for having water to drink whenever I need it.

[My Journal - Alex]

Attempt II - Day 1

I found it very hard to work today, I'm sick of studying and am very confused whether or not to game. I receive support to quit here, and support to game in moderation elsewhere and from my family.

My family opinion has changed to "don't deprive yourself of gaming if that is what you find fun, just as long as you can do it in moderation". This is tempting but I know that I won't be able to play in moderation for long, and not at all when the holidays start.

I think one of the main setbacks I face is that I am essentially slaving away at self improvement by quitting games and not doing enough activities which I find fun.

I am grateful for the ability to choose what to do with my time

I am grateful for the running shoes I got today

I am grateful for the delicious dinner I had today.

[My Journal - Alex]

 

So just keep on keeping on. Success is inevitable to those who never quit.

EDIT: One other VERY CRUCIAL thing to remember is that for many of us, we are attempting to undo YEARS of addiction, as well as all the other shit that came about due to said addiction. It cannot happen overnight. Falling down is inevitable, and a very healthy part of growth. The best lessons are often learned when we fall down I think.

Wallpaper.zip

Thank you again jaylajkosz, I cannot thank you enough for your faithful support. I'll make sure to listen to those songs tomorrow to keep me positive!

You're so right about not giving up; I can't fail if I don't stop trying, my success will be inevitable.

[My Journal - Alex]

Thank you very much Tom, I have edited the square on the site you mentioned to make it include my own pursuits, and I have made it my desktop background. Those three things are exactly what I need, except I'm having trouble with finding things I enjoy that are readily available for me to do/use. Cheers for the help!

Thank you to the moon and back jaylajkosz, that was definitely inspirational! I suppose it won't be a failure just as long as I persist and continue on the game quitting path. I am finding your list of motivational songs very helpful, I will make sure to use them if all else fails.

For now I will try and find things that I will find fun and hopefully find purpose that will motivate me to pursue my goals. 

[My Journal - Alex]

Thank you so much Cam! You gave some good things to consider and provided a thorough overview.

I really do need to find some more things I enjoy to make sure I can keep this up in the long run, and different rewards that are not detrimental in any way.

I will look into setting bigger goals that I will be able to invest my time into, according to each activity I do. 

Thanks again, I will do my best to make sure I complete the 90 days.

[My Journal]

Good on you for starting a daily journal! How about I'll make sure you keep posting and you remind me to as well.

In terms of breaking bad habits, I broke my facebook/useless internet browsing habit by dedicating my desk to work only. This meant that over time my subconcious understood that when I sit at my desk I need to work, and I did this by having to get up and move somewhere else if I needed to do non-work related things, especially on the internet.

Don't dwell on your mistake, just as long as you learn from it and take action next time somebody talks to you. I'd recommend you focus on the decisions and actions you take NOW, not past actions.

If you have some tips on how to stick to not playing games, I would appreciate it! (I relapsed a few days ago).

[My Journal - Alex]

Days 19-26

No excuses. I've relapsed. On the last day of school I felt I needed a ‘reward’ and having been bored for weeks without games; and just started playing games when I saw my brother on Dark Souls 2. I had played about 2 hours a day since Wednesday and the guilt has crept in and my family are disappointed with my lack of commitment.

I have questioned why I am quitting gaming recently, it hasn’t actually harmed me and I have enjoyed playing them, I still get good grades so why torment myself? I then come back to the idea that I can do much more with my time and can improve myself with the time I would be spending on games. Please post your thoughts on this logic.

I am keeping up my morning running habits at least, but the other new ones I have started such as daily journaling have evaporated.

I’ll keep posted, hopefully daily, on how I’m doing so I don’t get off track again.

To whoever reads, should I reset my day counter? (I am currently on my 26th since officially quitting games). Also I would love some ideas to help motivate me to do my study; last year I was motivated to get a particular academic award, but since I am likely to receive it again this year I don’t have the motivation to improve.

[My Journal, by Zane]

Hi Zane, there is a lot to what you're doing that is applaudable, so don't worry about not getting the results you want yet.

Ah bugger I wrote a giant motivational post but failed to upload because of internet problems, so I'll sum up what I said:

• Keep going with making new habits, as you can see they pay off in time like you working out every week.
• Don't dwell on the past, use it as a stepping stone to improve your future through goal setting and evaluation. You can only control the present so enjoy the moment.
• You have the biggest opportunity in your grasp right now, by going through an experience where you're forced to change you can decide how you want to be and how you want to live.

I hope this helps, sorry for not being able to post as much as intended.

[Howdy y'all!]

Hi bassitone! Glad you joined the community.

We're proud you've decided to move on from gaming, I'm sure in time you shall reap rewards.

According to other community members, I gave some great advice here: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/287-greetings-from-a-first-timer/#comment-2735

Good luck with quitting!

[My Journal - Alex]

Days 13 - 18

Have not had much time to post I'm afraid. Scratch that, I didn't make the time to post. With end of year exams in less than a couple of weeks and 15 x 1 hour exams to study for I'm bound to be busy.

Have had to get up at 6 each morning this week, so was not in rhythm with my daily meditation, dream catching, and gratitude journal. I will try my best for this week.

I made a new friend today on the bus, its amazing how open people can be when you open up yourself. I think most people like conversation but just don't like to start them, especially with strangers. Please remind me to stick to my one new friend per day challenge if I don't mention making a new friend in a daily journal.

I have experience cravings to play the Dark Souls 2 video game recently, mainly because I watched my brother play it, and I confess I played it for a few minutes as well. It corrupted my mind a little but I know that the cravings are also derived from the lack of time we spend together, so i just need to find more ways to fill this gap.

I feel I am able to walk out of my comfort zone more often now, by changing my thoughts to "what is the worst that could happen?" when thinking whether or not to do something out of my comfort zone rather thank fearing rejection or embarrassment.

Thanks community for keeping me on track.

[Greetings from a first timer!]

Hi Reanimator, thanks for joining the forums! I live in New Zealand so its nice to see someone else close by on the global scale.

We all have gone through a similar experience to end up here, so we're all in it together. If you need help on anything, just ask and the community will answer. And answer. And answer. (expect multiple replies for questions asked!)

My advice:

• Just leave your gamer friends be for a month or so. You will quickly find if they wish to be proper friends or if you were just a playmate for gaming; those who care about you will understand and hopefully support your decision to stop gaming. It is surprisingly easy to make new friends, I befriended a girl on the bus today, starting by talking about her iPhone.
• Be proud of your decision to stop gaming. Just by deciding to improve your life by stopping something that is so natural shows courage. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, especially your gamer friends.
• Start with the Respawn guide and follow EVERY STEP, then go through the 'starter kit' in the 30 day challenge sample (free). This will guarantee you stay on the right path.
• I still experience cravings, how you handle them will be crucial to whether or not you fall down the gaming well.
• Not much effort is required to quit games, but you will need to find other engaging activities to fill your newfound time. Check out 60+ hobby ideas for... you guessed it, ideas for investing your time for the future.
• Read The Slight Edge
• You will become happier with 'normal' activities over time, just make sure to be persistent with staying away from games. The first steps are the hardest.
• "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step" - Chinese proverb. The journey of improving your life is a long one, but if you try doing different activities that are proven to make people happier, perhaps adding one new one per week, you will get there in the end. Some activities I would recommend are morning running, having a daily gratitude journal, starting a diary (I use mine for reflection purposes), and a few others.

I had tried to quit multiple times, but each time I would be eventually drawn to games through the nostalgia of fond memories when playing the games. No doubt you will encounter these according to your introduction. Unlike now, I used to just get frustrated and do my best to ignore my cravings. What I do now that is much more effective (and I would recommend you try as well) is to accept that gaming meant something to me earlier in my life but that they are now more harmful than useful.

Good luck with your recovery from gaming addiction! I hope I have helped.

[A new start!]

Hi Svet, its great you've started a journal!

Just simply having a journal to track your progress combating your gaming habits gives all the more reason to keep going!

Feel free to ask us any questions and the community will help you stay on track!

Btw your letter idea has really worked well for us, including Tom, myself, and Koyotelcarus.

All the best for your recovery!

[My Journal - Alex]

Day 12 - The number seems small now, but the future reward will be life changing!

Saturday, a restful day. I got some work done, played my guitar for a while, it rather uneventful..

I am thinking of trying to make one friend per day like Cam is, it'll sure boost my social skills! I can't drive around by myself yet though, so I may only make friends at school or just by wandering around for now.

For the first time in a while I willingly didn't do a morning run. This was an important learning experience for me because I felt far less productive during the day, and so I know to keep on going with building up good habits.

I found I really lacked engagement throughout the day, which was when playing guitar really came in handy! It gave me a challenge that I needed to think and act fast to excel in, especially since I haven't played it for a few months.

Planning ahead, I am going to maintain my habits until I consistently do them, then I will add more.

My gratefulness list is in my personal diary.

[My Journal - Alex]

Hey I have two pages for my journal now! Celebrating the small victories

[My Journal - Alex]

Days 9, 10, 11

Friday today, I now have some time on my hands! School has been very hectic with end of year exams coming up in less than a month, so sorry to those who read my journals, I'll try to make them more frequent.

I had a dream... About games. Tom I'm sure you could relate to this. I was running a factory that produced muskets for use in armies, and in the dream I knew that I needed to try make it as efficient as possible (like in a game). Strangely enough, my thoughts towards gaming were reflected in the dream, it didn't feel right and I felt like I was becoming a slave to the goal of efficiency, when I didn't benefit from the outcome. Likewise any effort I put into games to become better at it or do better in the game is lost and I obtain no outcome that will help me in any way in the real world.

I think the dream diary is working already Tom! More memorable dreams must be a product of recording them on paper.

Hey Alex!

Love reading your updates and really appreciate you contributing to share your thoughts with others. My "to-do" read list is so long. Last I checked it was 247 lol. But I like knowing which books I want to read in the future so I actually get to them. What is your next-book going to be?

?You really are on the extreme Cam! It is amazing to think that having a to-read list in the hundreds is possible in this age, all of which we have the means to obtain! Thank you for the continued encouragement, it really helps! Oh and with the patron fund I find that it seems a great way to keep a consistent flow of income to support the community, but just needs more easily available facts to help convince people. I'll add more about this in the suggestions forum.

Thank you Joe for your input on my steam account and the bible, I'll make sure to read the most important parts of the bible... after I read more interesting books of course! I'll add it to my growing to-read list. Deleting my steam account wasn't hard, but it required a lot of thought.

I suppose I could make a thread for letter to games, I need to put my thoughts on my favourites to rest.

I will write my gratefulness fully for each entry so it properly sinks in.

• I am grateful for dreams that help me realise and understand my thoughts
• I am grateful for my maths teacher taking his time to explain new concepts to me
• I am grateful for the privilege/ability to make my own lunch
• I am grateful that my guitar is still in good condition and has been waiting patiently for me to continue playing it
• I am grateful for socks that keep my feet warm
• I am grateful for the bus service that drives me so far towards home
• I am grateful for my favourite hoodie I am wearing
• I am grateful for the consistent chirping of birds outside
• I am grateful for the opportunity to learn at high school

[Hi all]

Hi Cor!

Its great you managed to introduce yourself, starting something is often the hardest part.

I hope you can get all the support you need from this community! If you need help something or advice, feel free to ask.

All the best for your recovery!

[My Journal - Joe]

Sounds like you had a great day! Big milestones being reached without expecting them can really make your day!

I can't take naps during the day very often, only when I'm very tired. But when I do, it feels amazing afterwards!

I'm glad I'm now in that stage where you're at; we don't even have to mention gaming in our journals because we've started a new chapter of our lives. Nice to know huh?

Well done that you're still posting!