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Tom2

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Day #34

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )


Solved soil mechanics assignment! I was depressed because of yesterday's laziness, but I feel great now. Even if the assignment was a small thing, I've made a progress.

- I watched too many Youtube videos again... I'm going to study hard tomorrow..

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(Only major events. lecture time, bed time, and time on the road are not included. click the image to see bigger picture)

Day #35

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

- Wasted time watching Youtube again. I think I should really stop from now on. Because of that, I screwed an exam this evening. It made me really depressed and frustrated because I thought myself really stupid and not controllable. At this moment I thought killing myself is much more beneficial to the society. After the evening exam, I wanted to cry and suicide. I considered gaming again in order to forget the situation. Wasting too much time on Youtube is my fault and I felt guilty about it. I wanted to escape playing video games. In fact, I watched Youtube videos to escape my situation. There were tons of things to study and I had all-or-nothing mind. That's why I wasted my time. It was huge stress as I expected that I won't be able to finish the work. As I mentioned one month ago, I was really successful until I was freshman in this university. Things have gotten worse as I became 2nd and 3rd years in the university, and that makes me hard to accept my situation. I'm not good at failing. It is really tough to admit that I'm no longer a good student. It's really hard to control my emotion.

 

- The only small achievement is that I didn't escape from the exam even if I didn't know many things to write. It was useless because I may get F on that subject, but my tiny goal that I set up 30 days ago was not being absent so that's why I went to classroom. Another thing is that I didn't play video games after the exam. I'm writing these tiny things because my self-esteem is really crappy and I was told to write down some good things even if it's small. I need to do better tomorrow. I have two days of team meeting for a project this weekend and I have to do some useful things for the team.

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Day 36

- Awesome job. 72% of the free time spent on studying. It was a group meeting and it was successful. I can concentrate on studying when I have a group of friends and laptop around me. I may find a way to study with somebody, not by myself.

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(Only major events. lecture time, bed time, and time on the road are not included. click the image to see bigger picture)

Day #37

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

- Done the first half of design team assignment. Lots of things to do.

until Wednesday, hydraulics assignment(40% done)

until Thursday, Structural mechanics assignment(0% done)

until Friday, soil mechanics assignment(0% done)

until Friday, hydrology team project(50% done)

until next Monday, slab design team project(60% done)

 

- If there's no exam, studying can be fun... I get stress when there's deadlines of assignments and exams.

 

- Did a lot of hydraulics note taking.

 

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I thought about saying something about making deadlines work in your favor, but I'm sitting with my manuscript unfinished for over 2 months because I didn't set any deadline to it!

Anyway, I envy your course. I had to study 2 years of calculus and physics before I had my first classes of circuitry and electronics!

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Day #38

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

- Hydraulics assignment 70% done.(+30%p)

- Did jogging in the night.

- Discussed how my(our) life sucks as an engineering students with my friend via messenger. It made me feel much better.

Edited by Tom2
(+30%p)
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I thought about saying something about making deadlines work in your favor, but I'm sitting with my manuscript unfinished for over 2 months because I didn't set any deadline to it!

Anyway, I envy your course. I had to study 2 years of calculus and physics before I had my first classes of circuitry and electronics!

Setting deadlines works usually well, but sometimes it really makes me feel like dead... just kidding..

 

I think difference between your department and mine is that civil engineering doesnt require high level of calculus. I dont see a lot of calculus in my textbooks.

 

Even if theres not many calculus, I still struggle with amount of materials that I have to finish... Perhaps my brain is not good enough to understand the whole subject. Because there are good students here who are doing well enough.

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(Only major events. lecture time, bed time, and time on the road are not included. click the image to see bigger picture)

Day #39

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

- Progress in hydraulics, and hydrology.

until Wednesday, hydraulics assignment(90% done)+20%p

until Thursday, Structural mechanics assignment(0% done)

until Friday, soil mechanics assignment(0% done)

until Friday, hydrology team project(55% done)+5%p

until next Monday, slab design team project(60% done)

 

 

 

Statistics of 39 days (Check the blue line) - There were a lot of crappy days, but I've been trying constantly to do my best.

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Edited by Tom2
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Day #40

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

-

hydraulics assignment(100% done)+10%p

soil mechanics assignment(0% done)

hydrology team project(60% done)+5%p

slab design team project(60% done)

Structural mechanics assignment(0% done)





Statistics of #40 days

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What are your weekly (or daily) your free-time activities? Or even just ways of taking care of your mind? Just curious.

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Day #41

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

- soil mechanics assignment(100% done)+100% 

hydrology team project(60% done)

slab design team project(60% done)

Structural mechanics assignment(0% done)





Statistics of #41 days

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What are your weekly (or daily) your free-time activities? Or even just ways of taking care of your mind? Just curious.

Except studying, my free-time activities are watching Youtube videos, news, reading game quitter forum threads, drawing some funny pictures via graphic tools, and talking to my friends via messenger.

These days I'm trying to decrease amount of time watching Youtube videos because it's basically similar to wasting time playing video games. It's not gonna decline drastically, but constantly.

Watching news is a good thing but it's not necessary for me so I watch it usually when I eat food.

Reading forum thread is very interesting. I have to spend more time to reply to other people's thread than native speakers, so I don't reply a lot... I have to think a little bit more to write some sentences. It is a good hobby because it helps me learn more English. Also, I can find out other people's view. It's a very great thing. In my case, it's hard to talk to other people about game addiction. On the internet, it's easy to discuss that subject. That's why I like to read.(and sometimes reply)

I like to draw funny pictures :) I usually talk to my friends via messenger when they are far from my location. I tried drawing a few times using Windows paint, and it was a great thing to enjoy. My friends and I laughed a lot making some dumb pictures. Until the end of this month, I'm busy studying at an university so I can't draw a lot. However, After this month, the semester ends, and I'm going to draw pictures using a program called 'Gimp'. I'm looking forward to learning that software.

 

 

Besides all of these, I sometimes feel really bad because of my low self-esteem. Main reasons why I suffer are perfectionism, procrastinating, and escapism. When I have a hard time studying alien things in engineering, I watch Cam's videos that fit into my situation. I've made a playlist of mine here. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcTsF_xIb6_Ln9wSODuptAQMXE8uqTNq0

In my case, the most frustrating moment is when I spend a lot of time trying to figure out one small part in a textbook, but not going well. Even if I figure out how to do something  by spending a bunch of time, there are lots of things to do that are not capable of doing all for me. In addition, I was a smart students until high school. But now, I'm no longer a good student. That fact makes me sad sometimes. When that thought come up in my mind, I think to myself, that I'm having a new start so that I have to start from the bottom. Lowering the bar is also a good way to stabilize my mind. I'm going to raise the bar slowly, considering my situation. I had been setting the goals too high. Dealing with my stress is also an important part of life. I've learned it during this 90 days.

I'm sure that there must be more hard days from now, but I want to overcome. It won't be a perfect life, but I want to keep going.

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I've seen this same situation in my life. "I don't know how to study anymore" was what I said some weeks ago. I had the same situation of trying to figure out small things. And the same feeling of comparison (it's something you can leave behind, you don't need to be the best at class!), that years ago I was always the smartest. I looked for help, talked with some people, I tried to change strategies, left out everything that acted against me and my improvement. And I tried to see from another point of view. It's not something like "I am not capable of things as great as some time ago, so I'll reconsider lower goals". I think you can analyze what makes you think this way, and look at the big picture. I am certain that you are still a good student. Other situations, other challenges... But you don't forget everything you've learnt. You can be always better than the Tom from yesterday. And you'll probably be! Like some people say to me, "don't push too hard on you".

You are arriving at the 45th day. Great achievement. I think you can set a new goal for you, for something you like, or you would like to do. That's just my opinion, but I think it's always necessary to do something away from technology. You can discover something that you can do socially. And I feel lack of social relations in your schedule. I may be wrong too. We can't help you with all the life, the outdoor things. Another thing we can't help you, but I always think it's important is taking care of your spiritual time. Have your time to think about life and destiny, live with a question...

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Day #42

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

- slab design team project(60% done)

Structural mechanics assignment(0% done)

 

- ahh crap... I'm embarrassed... I promise I will do better tomorrow. I had wasted time because it was a period that the pressure had been relieved. I thought, 'ummm... it's okay to play because I have more time...'



Statistics of #42 days

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Edited by Tom2
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Day #43

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

- slab design team project(80% done)+20%

Structural mechanics assignment(0% done)

 





Statistics of #43 days

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Day #45

Summary of Day ( Good work / Bad work )

- slab design team project(95% done)+15%

 

 





Statistics of #45 days

 

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