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Relapsed after 22 days.

14 posts in this topic

Posted

While i am proud of going the longest without games that I have in probably a decade, I relapsed on Friday. I spent about 2 hours playing games.

The weird thing is I don't regret playing games again, but what I do regret is the frustrating preoccupation that has followed ever since. This, I think, is my main problem. I can't do things in halves, I'm an all or nothing type of guy, boots and all. Started dreaming about it, getting annoyed that people were talking to me about things other than gaming, etc etc. 

I think maybe Cam is right (well, no maybe there lol), a relapse might really underline why I was addicted in the first place. Because my brain loves to go all in on something, no matter what it is. It might be a sign of bad willpower? Allowing myself to do that or fall to that.

Anyway, I am definitely stronger than what I was before I started trying the 90 day detox, but not as strong as I thought I was. 

Bag onto the bandwagon, though it is depressing to see that days-free counter reset to zero. Ho hum.

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Posted

Happens to the best of us :). So do you know what caused the relapse?

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Posted

Getting back on track right away is key, so good job on that. Check out the new video I have with Nicholas Bayerle, I think his experience will help you a lot.

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Posted

Happens to the best of us :). So do you know what caused the relapse?

I was feeling really good and relaxed, which Cam totally nailed in his relapse video on a cause for relapsing. I was happy about what I had achieved during the week and how I had managed to get my streak to 22 days, combined with having 4 days off that I knew I was going to spend the majority of studying and getting back on track (which I didn't). Alcohol helped that though, so I am working on cutting that down now as well.

 

Getting back on track right away is key, so good job on that. Check out the new video I have with Nicholas Bayerle, I think his experience will help you a lot.

Will do! Couldn't get it to work last night, I'll try again today.

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Posted (edited)

I don't think that it is necessary bad to relapse, at least not when you have the power to to get back up again. Because you relapsed, and you know what caused it, you can prevent it happening in the future. What i noticed in the past, after I got out of a relapse, is that I became more capable to resist the urges that made me want to game. Good job on getting back on track again.

Edited by KevinV1990

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Posted

I can relate to all or nothing thinking. The key is to use this energy and thinking for things that will help us grow. What are some things you're passionate about? Because we go tend to “all in” on things that make us feel good, we have the advantage of using this mindset for positive things that will take our minds off of gaming. Your 22 days are not lost. This is one day at a time. We learn more about ourselves each time we fall short. They key is to continue pushing forward as it sounds like you are. Staying accountable is a huge part of this journey as well so thanks for checking in.

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Posted

I can relate to all or nothing thinking. The key is to use this energy and thinking for things that will help us grow. What are some things you're passionate about? Because we go tend to “all in” on things that make us feel good, we have the advantage of using this mindset for positive things that will take our minds off of gaming. Your 22 days are not lost. This is one day at a time. We learn more about ourselves each time we fall short. They key is to continue pushing forward as it sounds like you are. Staying accountable is a huge part of this journey as well so thanks for checking in.

 

 

I am trying to use this to my advantage and entrench new hobbies or passions, but my brain just loves to slip back to thinking about gaming.

I am trying to do more with electronics, with wiring, soldering and building my own gadgets. That's what really interests me right now, so I am trying to make that my main aim/thought, with the long term aim of automating as much as possible. I'd love to start my own automation business one day, where I could go to country areas or towns where they generally don't have access to this technology, or at least this expertise, and automate their mundane tasks.

I definitely think I am being far more productive ever since the relapse, so I am definitely more thankful for that.

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Posted

You are so hardwired into playing games, relapses can happen. Just uninstall all your games, and try to just not play that day.

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Posted

I don't think uninstalling games help. I would rather leave them there and fight the urge to play, I feel stronger this way, besides when you have a 200mbps connection it's easy to reinstall again. 

I ended up selling my gaming PC and invest the money for a better cause.

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Posted

You are so hardwired into playing games, relapses can happen. Just uninstall all your games, and try to just not play that day.

uninstalling doesn't help imop

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Posted

You are so hardwired into playing games, relapses can happen. Just uninstall all your games, and try to just not play that day.

uninstalling doesn't help imop

I think it depends. In my case, uninstalling is working. It's up to the each people here.

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Posted

In the end the power consumption of the machine resulted in me packing up my gaming machine and putting it in the garage. As the person in the household who pays the bills and having a gigantic power bill this quarter was all I needed to pack it up and put it away. To be honest I don't think I really want to go through the process of selling it, because I don't think it would be worth that much anyway and I don't want to deal with the machine anymore.

Replaced it with a Raspberry Pi, uses 1-2% of the power of the gaming machine, can't play games, and lets me tinker with linux as a new hobby. I can literally leave it turned on at max performance for approx 80-90 hours compared to 1 hour of the gaming machine at idle.

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Posted

Fall down seven times, get up eight times.

This proverb is attributed variously to the Chinese, Japanese, (Zen) Buddhists, and the Christian Bible's Book of Proverbs.  But whoever it originated with, it's still a useful reminder.  Like others have mentioned, you've gained 22 days of experience you didn't have before.

You sound like you might be beyond this, but here it is anyway:  Khan Academy  is a not-for-profit winner of a Google Global Impact award for their contribution to education ("A world class education.  For everyone.  Free.  Forever").  They have a department specifically on computers and programming. 

https://www.khanacademy.org/computing/computer-programming

I've been studying with Khan Academy for more than 5 years.  The website is clean, user-friendly.

If you're interested in using your expertise to teach others, there's a huge need for skilled people in what are called STEM subjects (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math).  This includes emerging countries, like those in Africa and elsewhere.   Starting about 20 years ago, the United Nations became so concerned about the need for increased STEM education, that they started the International Bureau of Education, under the auspices of UNESCO. 

Australia has a number of international exchange programs.  (Actually, I was really miffed when I set off overseas a loong time ago . . . Aussies, Kiwis and Brits had access to a whole range of exchange opportunities that left us Canucks out entirely.)

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Posted

I have read about Khan Academy and have had their app installed from time to time but never really sunk my teeth into it. Maybe I need to give it another go. Because I am back studying at university again I don't really go searching for new topics and my tech hobby has been relegated to the shadows!

 

The Commonwealth is great for exchange programs and definitely is a perk of still being under the Monarchy in one shape or another! Unfortunately both my professional and personal situations wouldn't allow me to take off somewhere else for extended periods. That door is closed to me for now, maybe I'll have another shot in the future.

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