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Starting a new chapter


EDS

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Hello all, 

My name is Edward and I'm an alcoholic... wait wrong group. But I'm wanting to get rid of an addiction I've had for many years, one which I didn't think I had until now. I've probably been playing games since I was 6 or 7, I'm 19 turning 20 now... It's been a huge part of my childhood and only now from someone else posting about it have I been truly shown how much it has controlled and influenced my life. So I've decided to take a stand and move away from it in order to improve my life, which has frankly, suffered because of it. 

Video games have always been an escape for me from life, from the stress of study and the anxiety of family arguments. I've always shied away from these and video games was the best escape for me from my life struggles. The big hitter with video games for me is the people I have become friends with that are like me and who like the same things. I have met a lot of good people with it and met quite a few too but I can see how much of an effect it is having on my actual social life. I have been part of a lot of communities, even being a leader in one right now with over 500 people in it but I can tell it is taking all my attention and time with it. It gives me a real sense of purpose and belonging but I know it isn't the right place for me to be with how much of a negative effect it is having on my life. 

Really, the main reasons I want to stop playing is to firstly make sure more of my attention and effort goes into my studies as right now I'm at a very serious point in them and I know I can improve far more if I just spent more time on them. Secondly, I want my life to be filling and enjoyable not just wanting and waiting for the evening when I can play video games till late at night. I want to try new things, go to the gym more, be more determined to try new hobbies and stick with them and most of all, build up my confidence in myself and meet new people. There's so many things I can do but don't bother because I procrastinate or make up some lame excuse so I can just play video games instead. I have so many opportunities in my life right now and I don't want them to go to waste any longer and have regrets for the rest of my life.

I'm already feeling a huge mix of emotions, a sense of relief that I'm doing something about it. Anxiety from the feeling of not really knowing what lies ahead of me and also that of regret and sadness. Looking back at my life I've realised how much I've missed out on because of my desire to play video games all the time, missing incredible events and wasting time which I could of spent with my family instead. I know I'll also feel pain from leaving some of the responsibilities I have in some communities I have been part of for a while now but I know if I don't I'll always go back to gaming. 

I know this will be a very hard road for me to go on, I've been dependent on games, especially the last few years but it's now gotten to a point where I don't want to lose myself to it anymore.  

So hopefully I'll be able to share with you all my journey towards healing myself (if that's good to say) and you'll be able to get me through any rough times to get to, which I know for sure I will hit.

Ed.

Edited by EDS
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Hi Edward. Good luck on this long and difficult road. What kind of community are you the leader of, if I may ask? Leaving gaming to focus on studies is a good thing.  But don't forget to also relax. What are you looking forward too in terms of relaxing. Do you have other hobbies or want to try new ones? 

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Hi Edward. Good luck on this long and difficult road. What kind of community are you the leader of, if I may ask? Leaving gaming to focus on studies is a good thing.  But don't forget to also relax. What are you looking forward too in terms of relaxing. Do you have other hobbies or want to try new ones? 

I'm an admin of a Rocket League discord server, I'm involved in a lot of things on there i.e. organising events and it takes up a far bit of time. This does feed into my crave to play video games though and distracts me very heavily from my studies. But I also don't want to leave the community, I know I can stop playing games etc. but I love this community very much and put a lot of time and effort into it so leaving it is gonna hurt me a lot. Since it is a gaming community it will be hard to stay though.

In terms of relaxing I really want to get away from having video games to 'relax' with, since I know they don't with the heightened concentration etc. I'm wanting to find something that truly does relax me, like starting to learn computer programming, model building, reading, graphic design or photoshop. That kind of thing. I also want to go to the gym a lot more often than I am and I currently play baseball for a team but I would like to pick up at least one other active hobby to do maybe at the weekends.

Edited by EDS
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