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My Journal, by Zane


Zane

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Day 8

I walked the dog, took a history test online, and decided that I want to hike one of the tall hills a couple miles from my house. I'll post pics tomorrow when its sunny. I never do things like that but I'm in the mood for adventures and besides I need fun activities to replace video games, which by the way I haven't felt any cravings for.

Umm, I didn't meet anyone attractive today (except that one person I saw in the mirror :D lol jk) So this challenge is gonna have to be delayed. Tomorrow I am going to the gym, grocery store, and farmers market, so I should be able to complete the challenge. Hopefully.

?These kind of hiking challenges or adventures is exactly what you want to start doing now that you don't have games. For instance, yesterday after lunch my girl and I decided to go walk around a lake here in Thailand. When we got there it wasn't as sweet as we thought, so we looked at a mountain nearby and just said: "Let's go scooter into the mountain." We drove on the scooter for about 30 minutes, found a temple, some lookout spots, got a coconut and just had a fun time.

When you have games you constantly go to them and honestly it causes you to miss out on a lot of spontaneity and adventure you could be having that will bring more fulfillment to your life because you're living it.

For the challenge it doesn't matter about someone being attractive. The point is to find something you appreciate about someone regardless of who they are. If anything, it's better if you find a 50 year old male and find a way to show them appreciation. ;)

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We drove on the scooter for about 30 minutes, found a temple, some lookout spots, got a coconut and just had a fun time.

Lucky :P

For the challenge it doesn't matter about someone being attractive. The point is to find something you appreciate about someone regardless of who they are. If anything, it's better if you find a 50 year old male and find a way to show them appreciation. ;)

?I didn't meet anyone new today because I stayed at the house cause everyone is gone and I was watching the dogs and cat. Your instructions say find someone you think is attractive... but mmkay

?

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?I didn't meet anyone new today because I stayed at the house cause everyone is gone and I was watching the dogs and cat. Your instructions say find someone you think is attractive... but mmkay?

?Got it! I might need to update that. Want to make sure everything is gender-neutral, single/married, etc.

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?Got it! I might need to update that. Want to make sure everything is gender-neutral, single/married, etc.

?its more fun if its someone you find cute tho

We drove on the scooter for about 30 minutes, found a temple, some lookout spots, got a coconut and just had a fun time.

?C'mon, that cant be the whole story :P What do you mean fun time hmm

?

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?If you ever want to get in touch with Alex, let me know. We have many mutual friends.

Haha. Here's what I'd recommend. Take a trip to Africa. See what's happening there first hand. That's how you will know best. A great organization you can watch is the Unreasonable Group. Their video series' are really cool. Just remember, the solutions are very rarely as simple as what you think. For instance, yes there are facilities to support the mental health of homeless... but they are horribly underfunded. Homeless is much less an issue of "laziness" and much more an issue of mental health.

?Just be careful where you go, I used to live in South Africa, veeeerrrrry dangerous place :o lots of stories

And i found a good bunch of videos on homeless people that changed my perspective on them. A lot of them had really horrible starts to life with family setting. And chose to go into drugs or alcohol to ease their emotional pain or cope. Then like us with out video games didn't know how to fill voids (coupled with a lot of mental damage from events) end up on the streets hopeless. If you you tube homeless stories anything by Rethink homelessness Jax and maketreks is really good (and sad).

Fortunately some countries have government safety nets to save those who slip :) although America looks sad...i hope Canada isn't like that

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Day 9 or so

Hey I'm back. I was gone for a couple days because the wifi hasn't been working at my house and my phone is out of data. My weekend kind of reminded me of my old life living with my parents; no internet, no video games. But it wasn't unpleasant, unlike living with my parents. My weekend wasn't super productive, but I did get alot of things figured out and I also enjoyed myself just reading outside while eating yummy food I made. This means that I have done well at fulfilling my resting activity, though of course I am still working on my social and acheivement based activities.

On saturday I went to a huge farmers market and got good food and fulfilled my social challenge. Later I went to the gym and killed my legs. They're still super sore. On sunday I read more of the slight edge and the content got me emotional and inspired, which is what I tend to feel when I read self help books. I spent a good amount of time organizing my things as part of my project. I took a cold shower or two (ugh) and last night I made a video of me dancing. Thanks alot Cam. I look so ridiculous.

Because my Ipad wont let me post it right now, I'll post it later

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Day 9 or so

?Great to have you back! I love going to the farmers market, it's one of my favorite things. Also, it's a great thing to do with other people. :D

Can't wait to see the dance video, haha!

Edited by Cam Adair
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The movie quality is HORRIBLE. Do you have like a 15mb video limit? This was the only way I could upload it. I literally tried for 2 hours, using video software and different movie file types.

This is so embarrassing. Thank god there are only a few in this community to see this lol

Also, hey, I have no clue how to dance. jeez. Like seriously how the fuck does one dance.

Lana del Rey is a hottie tho :P

My Movie.mp4

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Oh you uploaded it to the forum. Haha. I had no idea. That way we don't have to download it to watch. xD (Don't worry, that won't stop me right now.) xD

Try uploading it to YouTube (set the privacy to unlisted).

BTW, great moves, great song. "God damnit, Cam." maybe me laugh.

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I kinda relapsed tonight.

?All good man. It happens. Just good to identify the process that led you there.

Being mad is one emotion. Being that much more committed to being your best is another. One encourages you to keep going, one fills you with guilt and shame (which you then try to escape with... ;))

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Days 10-13

I want to begin with the slight edge but I don't know how to get started.

I mean, the slight Edge makes sense, and I see how my acions brought me where I am, whereas the actions of certain others caused them to be in amazing universities living happy right now- I won't mention the person I'm talking about, but she's been on my mind all morning as usual.

I know I need to get up earlier and follow a schedule and meditate and stuff and I'm not doing anything right. I'm following the same bad habits.

My karaoke session will happen sometime after I get my next paycheck. I'll commit to it I promise.

I've been taking cold showers but I don't know if I could handle it in the morning. That's when my body is already cold from sleeping. In the morning is when I'm clamoring for warmth. Why is it a good idea to make my body even colder?

Daily workout, completion list, I've been working on all those challenges. But if the overall challenge is to improve my discipline, I'm failing big time.

I would really love to find in myself the ability to wake up earlier than 15 minutes before I have to leave for work. Well, I am awake, but I can't force myself to get out of bed until it's too late to do anything other than dress and grab food/ water, and pack my backpack (which I don't prepare the night before like I should). Trust me, I know i should be waking up earlier and doing things like laying my clothes out the night before, but I don't.

I'm too much a slave to comfort. My bed is way too comfortable. I miss days of working out because I'm too comfortable and don't want to get out and do it. I don't wake up early and give myself every excuse to not start my homework right away. This has always been a big problem with me, since high school and earlier. The past several months I would tell myself at school that when I got home I was gonna get straight to work but I would end up playing video games. Now instead of video games I read or watch youtube videos, which I do learn from, but I do it at the expense of bigger priorities. I even visit these forums too much. It's kinda like facebook except I talk to more people here so I'm more active here than on facebook. I need to get in the habit of only checking here once or twice a day instead of checking what people have written when I get bored.

Seriously though, I find it troublling that I can't get into a routine for more than a couple days at a time. How do I get myself to commit and follow through? I even made the pact with the 5 minute journal and then fell asleep one night without filling it out. Jeez. Some homeless dude is gonna get rich... except I can't even afford to follow through with that.

Meanwhile, while I am not depressed like I was before, the constant (and I mean CONSTANT) reminders of my failures are haunting me each day. I have an amazing memory which is a blessing and a curse and everything triggers a memory. I hold on to memories because they make me feel special and because I can't manage to remove them from my state of thought. Yes, I know that if I focused on other things that the thoughts could go away. But I don't have the willpower to force those thoughts aside. Only unexpected circumstances like speaking to another person or engaging in a really interesting project (or video games!) allow me to shift my focus away from those memories.

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?Great to see progress going so fast with you. I am really looking forward to the dancing video. Self help books are awesome and despite the fact that i am a really slow reader in english ( german is my mothertongue), i am nearly finished with the Slight Edge and i am looking forward to the next book. Gj with the showers xD

Haha I'm making decent progress in some areas, but in others I'm having a real hard time.

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Alright, so I've decided a few things, hopefully they will be a solution to my problems.

First, I'm going to sleep on the floor for a week. That way getting up in the morning is not a problem. It will help with discipline. Second, I'll take a cold shower every morning for five minutes, because everything else for the rest of the day will be comparatively easier.

I kind of lost my way when I made a daily schedule. That schedule was helpful to me in taking note of my times and activities, but it is unrealistic to follow on a daily basis and discouraging if I slack off on even one piece of the schedule, causing me to give up on doing anything productive.

The other day I watched a video by FightMediocrity on willpower, and I learned that willpower is like a muscle, that grows tired as the day progresses. You have the most willpower in the morning. This really hasnt been true for most of my life but that doesnt mean I can't make it true. My personal trainer has told me to work out in the mornings because that is when testosterone levels are the highest. All over the internet the virtues of being a morning person is extolled, and Benjamin Franklin's famous quote is: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Days are so different that following a schedule for the entire day each day just sounds and feels wrong. Instead, if I do individual planning each morning, and weekly planning at the beginning of each week, then perhaps I can change how productive I am each day. The secret is of course in the morning routine, because mornings will be the thing that remains the same, no matter what day of the week. So, I've abandoned my generic daily schedule and restructured my morning routine:

Morning routine:
Wake up, drink water, meditate, 5 minute journal
Cold shower/ get dressed for gym
Go to gym, bring protein/ banana, work out
Come home, eat breakfast, read book, plan 3 urgent and 2 not urgent activities to complete during the day
Begin rest of day

and my night routine:
Prepare food for next day
Lay out clothes/ backpack for next day
Take warm shower/wash
Eat last meal, read, 5 minute journal, set alarm
Go to sleep

These two routines may turn my life around. I'm hoping.

I havent fulfilled my morning routine more than two days in a row so far, but this should work. meditiation and stuff i've only done like 9 times

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An important lesson I have learned in life is to forgive myself when I fall short of my goals. Of course, I never lessen my resolve to keep on working towards them.

If these words do nothing to help you, please disregard what I've said and carry on!

Thanks for the input man :) Hey, you are right, I should forgive myself. And I do. But I believe that because I'm so forgiving to myself that I don't punish myself enough to do better next time. I keep making the same mistakes and so I'm trying to tackle it in different ways.

lol I'm not making myself sleep on the floor as punishment to myself. HAHA. It's intended to help me reap future rewards.

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Days 10-13

Hey man! Thanks for sharing.?

So the thing with The Slight Edge (TSE) is not to overthink it. It's more of a philosophy that you want to focus on little improvement every day and that's it. Having a mantra of "stronger than yesterday" for example. This happens in every little way you want. But remember, it's a process over a long period of time, so just keep working at it and continuing to push forward and adapt as necessary. A lot of your message was exactly that.

For mornings one thing I truly believe is that if you don't know why you're getting up tomorrow it's hard to get up. So maybe before you go to bed every night, think about one thing you're legitimately excited about for tomorrow. I want to wake up tomorrow because I get to go work and explore a new city here in Thailand. So I don't want to stay in bed. For me that's where I'm at, but for you there's something in every day for you to be excited towards. Find it.

Next, when I find myself staying in bed it's usually because I'm feeling overwhelmed. So you need to identify what's feeling overwhelming and break it down into smaller parts. Most likely, you're just being hard on yourself. Remember it's all about momentum. This weekend you had a decent weekend but not an overly productive one (as you said), so in some way that momentum builds into the week and unless you shift it (and by that I mean shifting your perspective), you are likely to just want to go through the motions.

Also remember, you are still at the beginning of your journey man. You're making great progress but if you evaluate yourself based on where you want to be in 6 months but you're expecting that now, of course you're going to be discouraged.

That's the thing, you get a choice in every moment: do you focus on encouragement (which empowers you towards doing the things you want), or discouragement (which comes from guilt and shame). By you focusing on that certain someone and how they are making all the right moves you're getting outside of yourself and creating discouragement because it means you aren't good enough.

And this comes down to beliefs. Check out this equation:

Beliefs -> Thoughts -> Feelings -> Actions -> Results

Results -> Actions -> Feelings -> Thoughts -> Beliefs

It works both ways. So what your beliefs create your thoughts which cause your feelings which dictate your actions and your actions produce your results.

So you can play with any part of this equation. If you want different results, focus on ideally your beliefs because they are at the root of it. Anytime you aren't feeling how you want, think about what you're thoughts are in the moment (or the past few moments), and then dive into what kind of beliefs about yourself your thoughts are expressing.

Now that you're aware of it, how can you shift your belief from one that is discouraging you to one that is encouraging and empowering? That's where the magic happens.

Willpower is definitely a muscle. You have to work with it just like you go to the gym. Some days you feel like it and some days you don't. The most important days are both. When you don't feel like it, you need to go. But when you do feel like it, you also need to go. And take advantage of those days because you know you don't always feel like it.

And always remember your why. Read it every morning. :)

Edited by Cam Adair
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I would really love to find in myself the ability to wake up earlier than 15 minutes before I have to leave for work. Well, I am awake, but I can't force myself to get out of bed until it's too late to do anything other than dress and grab food/ water, and pack my backpack (which I don't prepare the night before like I should). Trust me, I know i should be waking up earlier and doing things like laying my clothes out the night before, but I don't.

?Two things that might help turn waking up earlier into a habit:

1. Move your alarm out of reach of the bed. Just outside your room if possible. Make it a really annoying or embaressing noise/song to ensure you get out of bed to turn it off. Assuming you use your phone as an alarm you can also find apps to solve logic or maths puzzles before you can turn off your alarm, which could help you feel awake.

It's not perfect - when I've done it I find a fair amount of the time I just turn it off and get back into bed. But it at least switches the willpower aspect from an active thing (having to get out of bed) to a passive thing (having to not get back into bed).

2. I haven't tried this, but...practising during the day. There isn't much else I like on Pavlina's site, but this article does sound like it could be useful. Essentially it advises getting into bed during the day for five minutes, making all the same preparations (wearing pajamas, brushing your teeth, turning the light of) and setting an alarm. Imagine its the morning. When the alarm goes off, stretch and get out of bed, get dressed etc. He advises doing several sessions over a few days, much like doing sets and reps at the gym. Slowly your response to the sound of your alarm should change.

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Thanks for the input man :) Hey, you are right, I should forgive myself. And I do. But I believe that because I'm so forgiving to myself that I don't punish myself enough to do better next time. I keep making the same mistakes and so I'm trying to tackle it in different ways.

lol I'm not making myself sleep on the floor as punishment to myself. HAHA. It's intended to help me reap future rewards.

?Throughout most of my life I've motivated myself by using anxiety. For example, I wouldn't do my homework right away. As the deadline for my homework came closer, I would feel more and more anxious about failing the assignment. Eventually, the anxiety would reach a point where I would just do the homework to stop feeling that anxiety. This pattern of needing to do something and doing it to remove a negative feeling was a very dominant pattern in my life. It would leave me drained after every accomplishment. A lot of the time, I use gaming as a way to soothe that drained feeling. This was just the way I operated, and I didn't even realize I was doing it.

These days, I am mindful to do things for positive reasons. I now do my homework when I'm ready because I getting good grades makes me feel awesome. When I finish my homework these days, I feel happy that I'm prepared for my classes. Instead of feeling drained after an accomplishment, I now feel energized. This has been a POWERFUL change in my life. I am so much more of a capable person these days because of this.

Unfortunately, I don't really have any reading material on this subject. It's something a person in my life taught me.

Hopefully, this has provided you with food for thought. If not, please ignore this and carry on!

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?Two things that might help turn waking up earlier into a habit:

1. Move your alarm out of reach of the bed. Just outside your room if possible. Make it a really annoying or embaressing noise/song to ensure you get out of bed to turn it off. Assuming you use your phone as an alarm you can also find apps to solve logic or maths puzzles before you can turn off your alarm, which could help you feel awake.

It's not perfect - when I've done it I find a fair amount of the time I just turn it off and get back into bed. But it at least switches the willpower aspect from an active thing (having to get out of bed) to a passive thing (having to not get back into bed).

2. I haven't tried this, but...practising during the day. There isn't much else I like on Pavlina's site, but this article does sound like it could be useful. Essentially it advises getting into bed during the day for five minutes, making all the same preparations (wearing pajamas, brushing your teeth, turning the light of) and setting an alarm. Imagine its the morning. When the alarm goes off, stretch and get out of bed, get dressed etc. He advises doing several sessions over a few days, much like doing sets and reps at the gym. Slowly your response to the sound of your alarm should change.

?I've never heard of this! I may benefit from trying this out. Worst case scenario is that I'm clean and comfortable, but still can't wake up easily in the morning.

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?Two things that might help turn waking up earlier into a habit:

1. Move your alarm out of reach of the bed. Just outside your room if possible. Make it a really annoying or embaressing noise/song to ensure you get out of bed to turn it off. Assuming you use your phone as an alarm you can also find apps to solve logic or maths puzzles before you can turn off your alarm, which could help you feel awake.

It's not perfect - when I've done it I find a fair amount of the time I just turn it off and get back into bed. But it at least switches the willpower aspect from an active thing (having to get out of bed) to a passive thing (having to not get back into bed).

2. I haven't tried this, but...practising during the day. There isn't much else I like on Pavlina's site, but this article does sound like it could be useful. Essentially it advises getting into bed during the day for five minutes, making all the same preparations (wearing pajamas, brushing your teeth, turning the light of) and setting an alarm. Imagine its the morning. When the alarm goes off, stretch and get out of bed, get dressed etc. He advises doing several sessions over a few days, much like doing sets and reps at the gym. Slowly your response to the sound of your alarm should change.

?Thanks very much man. As to solving puzzles in the morning, lol. I looked at that site and I like it. Definitely gonna be checking it out some more :)

Edited by Zane
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