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Zane

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?Nice dude! Love the board and your room nice and organized! Pic of you in the sunnies is money. Can't wait to hit the beach in California together! B|

?Hell Yeah! You stop by California anytime and I'll stop by and meet up with you :)

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Because you're on the right path now and you're taking action to create an amazing life for yourself.

This is exactly what you want to do. Don't talk about it, be about it. Let your life be the example of what you stand for. People like to talk a lot, or think a lot, but it's the few who take the action everybody is talking about or thinking about that get to live the type of life everyone is dreaming of. You're living your life every day, doing things every day, waking up every day, living the same 24 hours as everybody else, every single day. You might as well ?leverage it and live it to the fullest. Trust me, it's worth it. :)

This is a big summer for you. In tough times, because they will happen, remember to shift your focus to how you will feel about yourself at the end of the summer. How PROUD of yourself you will be at the end of summer. Use that as motivation. (When you have a spare 30 minutes, you can read this post I haven't released publicly yet about my TEDxBoulder talk. It shares some of the same concepts in it.)

?Hey man, all the words you said in that reply were gold! Thanks!

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?Hell Yeah! You stop by California anytime and I'll stop by and meet up with you :)

?I'll be back in California starting in October probably for a few months. Likely be in LA mostly but I'll definitely be making a few trips to SF and I'll stop by SJ on the way.

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?I'll be back in California starting in October probably for a few months. Likely be in LA mostly but I'll definitely be making a few trips to SF and I'll stop by SJ on the way.

?I'm excited! Keep in touch about it and if you need a place to stay for a night my aunt will in all likelihood be cool with it :)

Also, I know you like cold showers, but going to the beach in winter? Seriously? :P

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Also, some guy tried to recruit me to join the navy yesterday. I didn't have the guts to say sorry not interested so I listened to him for 20 minutes then I gave him a false number to call lol

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"You have reached a non-working number" oh well

?Ah damn. Anyways, it's basically a number (you can google around if you want) that when you call it says the person wasn't interested in you and you've been rejected!

I used to give it to girls at the club as a joke. :D

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?Ah damn. Anyways, it's basically a number (you can google around if you want) that when you call it says the person wasn't interested in you and you've been rejected!

I used to give it to girls at the club as a joke. :D

?I figured that's what it meant, but why would you be giving fake numbers to girls Cam huh? Were they all desperate for your number? :P Or maybe you were just helping them out to deal with future suitors

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?I figured that's what it meant, but why would you be giving fake numbers to girls Cam huh? Were they all desperate for your number? :P Or maybe you were just helping them out to deal with future suitors

?Haha it was more just to be playful and tease them. :D

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Day 6

I fell asleep at 4:00 pm and woke up at 7:00 the next morning

I guess I failed the challenge, but I don't really buy drinks anyway. I drink water. Drinks are expensive and I'm tight on money right now especially since I've been denied financial aid. I gotta be extra careful.

Day 7

Well, I completed today's challenge. I got lucky. I want to share how I felt, thinking about this challenge, yesterday and today.

I was really uncomfortable with it honestly. So much so that it hurt. I am at a school where people aren't very social. It's really weird. It has always been easy to make friends for me. Growing up in Modesto, California, I was surrounded by people my age and was always able to find at least one close friend at a time. And yet, currently, this is the longest I have gone without a close friend since elementary school. I feel like I'm in the wrong place. I'm planning on joining meetup activities and stuff, and do volunteer work, and hopefully I can make friends through those activities. Back to my college though. I'm just going to community college and the people there are friendly enough, but I guess I don't know what to do or say to make friends there. It's so different than all my previous experiences in school.

I don't know exactly what the problem is. Maybe its because there's absolutely no girls I'm attracted to there. None. It's an anomaly. How is this possible that nobody here is at all attractive (to me). Why is it that when I visited my ex's campus that I was surrounded by attractive, healthy, physically fit people?

How come everybody likes to drink/ smoke or play video games in their free time at my college? Nobody is driven. Nobody does cool things like at my old high school. There is no community. People go to school then leave to do whatever they do. And half the students are old people, at least ten years older than me. I chose the wrong college. It was just meant to be a two year thing so that I could transfer to a university, but I didn't realize how miserable the lack of social opportunities would make me. How come I made 50 good friends in just 6 months of gaming but couldn't make a single good friend in 8 months of school? It's not because I'm bad at being social. I am very good at making friends.

Yes, it seems like to make friends here I must join a group of some sort for activities. The campus itself is probably not the best place to try to make friends. And you know what, I could make a friend now if I choose to. The guy I took a selfie with, he approached me today in the middle of campus. He asked if I knew about "something something Gods Promise Something." He looked to be about my age and when he approached me he seemed a little nervous. I was wearing my sunglasses and I put on a big smile and casually spoke with him. Normally I would have said no thanks immediately since I do not believe in God and I had class soon. But I remembered my challenge so I approached the situation differently. I asked him several questions, like what group was he with, what was he trying to ask me, when do you meet, etc, and the conversation was nice. I had the upper hand because I felt confident and he looked nervous. He offered a brochure and I accepted and asked for his number and for a selfie. He was surprised by the request and was asking questions like what do you mean you're with a group? And I was like yeah a social group and he said oh ok and he took a selfie with me.

selfie.thumb.jpg.febe86cf9a5547bf167a9f3

Not a very good looking picture for me but oh well. It may not be super noticeable in the picture but I have severe acne. I want to share this because it has played a huge role in my lack of self confidence for the past 6 months. Before 6 months ago, my skin was beautiful like in my profile pic to the left. But 6 months ago I fell into severe psychological stress and depression and got some of the worst acne I've ever seen. Here is what it looked like when I was happy:IMG_1598.thumb.JPG.4b6c44cd89f0bc551b09e

Here is what it looks like now:

IMG_0612.thumb.PNG.497acafb5c4f0761db199

Actually, this is nothing compared to how it was even 2 months ago. The red was far brighter and even purple for several months because I dropped a barbell on it. I'll admit, this doesn't even look too bad! This is by far the best my skin has looked in 6 months! I think the main reason is because I'm less depressed than I was during that time. I made a lifestyle change with a healthy diet and exercise. Also, I am taking the strongest medication out there to handle this problem. The irony is that my medication is supposed to cause depression but I've only been feeling better since I started taking it :)

But... it's still bad enough that I don't feel ready to ask girls out on dates. I know it will improve and I'm waiting until then. Sure, I'd love to make more friends, but until I get this taken care of, I'm not putting myself out there to pursue girls. I did, for a time, trying to get over my ex by meeting someone new. I got girls numbers and texted or called them, but they weren't really interested in anything with me, and because of how hideous my face looked at the time, I really don't blame them.

Anyway, back to what happened today. So I asked for a selfie with Ricky, he accepted, then I went on my way to class. While waiting outside class for the teacher to arrive, I literally acted different. Without thinking at all, I asked a cute-ish girl if she was ready for the test and ended up sitting down with her and discussing what we knew about it and how we could prepare. I started a conversation and continued it with ease and felt good. I believe that it was possible because of my earlier interaction with Ricky. So yes, it really does appear that making a leap and overcoming fear in social situations makes everything shift. I know that of course. When I was with my latest ex, I would go up to people I'd never talked to and get to know them, because I was happy and self confident. The other day my cousin decided to slip me some euphoria drug for fun and I'm happy she did because I opened up and talked to her in a way that I never had before and we connected and our relationship improved. Euphoria provides perspective; when you feel it, whether because you're in love or whatever, it lets you accomplish things you are too scared or anxious to accomplish otherwise. Not that I'm advocating drugs. Drugs are bad. And becoming reliant on any source for happiness is a dangerous mistake. Addiction is horrible, and I've learned lot because of it. But I am trying to say that overcoming fear can fill you with euphoria in the same way.

Cam's point in the social part of his challenge is that making a leap of faith is essential to social success. Nothing awesome can happen without taking risks. When I first kissed a girl I remember being anxious and doubtful of myself and scared. But I am so glad that I did take the leap, because we ended up having a great relationship :)tania.thumb.jpg.329a565ac8bd3bd292c54280

She still has my sunglasses. I gave them to her :) This was 3 years ago. We still talk to this day.

So Cam, I'm looking forward to the future challenges, but I'm not gonna ask out any girls until I get a car and get rid of my acne. And get my financial shit together. Just FYI

Please help me figure out how I can overcome those moments where my social challenge fills me with dread. Karaoke sounds like it could be fun, but I'd prefer to do it with friends or something. Hmm. I hope it doesn't look too weird. Luckily I've gotten alright at singing along with music since I always sing on the way home from the gym :)

I'll maybe attend a meetup activity this weekend. I'll post about it if I do.

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Day 6 & Day 7

Sounds like you needed some sleep!?

When it comes to being social, a big mistake so many of us make is that we think one place is social or not. "People aren't very social here." Remember, the world is our mirror, what we see is what we're reflecting. It's all about the vibe and energy you put out and the willingness to take the first step. We're all social creatures and we have an innate desire to feel seen and experience connection. It's up to you to start bringing that out in other people. :)

Although going to meetups and the like will make it that much easier, always have the mindset that wherever you are, people are people. That's something I've learned from traveling. Some cultures are more open yes, but if you bring a smile and a curiosity to push past the initial discomfort, people will open up. And you can learn something from everyone. If you can't interact with dudes, you aren't going to be very successful with women. And vice versa. Everyone is an opportunity to learn about how to connect on a more meaningful level.

Your interaction today was a great example of that. Now part of it will be for you to recreate that with the older people at your college. Get curious about them and I bet you'll learn a lot about them and yourself in the process. What you also want to see is that the reason you were willing to interact with the girl was because you had social momentum. The more you interact the more you want to interact (and/or find it easier to do.) That's why every day I try and get an interaction in quickly, the barista, etc, and that helps carry my social momentum throughout the day.

I also used to have a lot of acne and found four main causes: 1) Stress 2) Dairy 3) Alcohol 4) Non-organic protein (hormones, antibiotics, etc.)

Most people don't know but I went out every single night for 3 years after I quit gaming. Well, a lot of people know this, but the part they often forget is that I went out solo most of those nights. My commitment was to go out and be ok being by myself and although it was weird at first, it was so great and I learned a lot. We really can only ever rely on ourselves in our life, we'll always be with ourselves at the end of the day, so it's a good time to get comfortable and confident being on your own. Karaoke solo is the best idea. Although you can go with friends too, but don't shy away from just going and rocking it for yourself.

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I also used to have a lot of acne and found four main causes: 1) Stress 2) Dairy 3) Alcohol 4) Non-organic protein (hormones, antibiotics, etc.)

Yes, you are right. I would combine 2 and 4 into the same thing. They are both sources of hormones not meant for us to consume in such doses. When I started weight training several months ago I thought drinking lots of milk was a good idea. That's when my inflammation was the worst. Since then I have stayed away from dairy.

However, I know exactly why I got this bad acne. It's psychological stress that I caused. If it were anything else I would have had bad acne in the past. It only developed in the month after my breakup.

It has been clearing away and I know it will clear away within the next several months. My skin may be as clear as yours by the time you arrive in San Jose :)?

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Your interaction today was a great example of that. Now part of it will be for you to recreate that with the older people at your college. Get curious about them and I bet you'll learn a lot about them and yourself in the process. What you also want to see is that the reason you were willing to interact with the girl was because you had social momentum. The more you interact the more you want to interact (and/or find it easier to do.) That's why every day I try and get an interaction in quickly, the barista, etc, and that helps carry my social momentum throughout the day.

?Yes Cam, I do understand that I can become friends with older people too. Half my gamer friends were at least 5-10 years older than me. I have a 30 year old friend with whom I would talk for 3-4 hours in the night, about life, about girls, etc. He is a great guy but damn does he feel like a failure. Not that he has gone out and said so, but when I hear him I feel like he is dissatisfied with his life. In fact I started reading articles online on self growth and would tell him my story and what I had learned (like I do on the forums) and he became a fan.

I kinda wish he were here on these forums speaking with us. He's a great guy.

As to what you say about getting an interaction in quickly, I think you're right. Social momentum! :) I'll keep that in mind Cam.

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WOAH. What are the odds. Earlier today I watched a youtube video by Alex Ikonn about the 4 Hour work week. I had never heard of Alex Ikonn, and I randomly watched the video (and enjoyed it)

I just opened my 5 minute gratitude journal, and there was a message from Alex Ikonn, writer of the 5 minute journal. WOW

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Hey, I just want to share that I will fill out the 5 minute journal for the next 5 days, and if I don't, I will have to give 40 dollars to a homeless person. This is a pact I made with the journal to ensure that I develop the habit loop of writing in the journal each day and night :) I'm really excited about this.

Why am I making my punishment be paying a homeless person? Do I hate homeless people? No lol. But I think that giving money to homeless people is counter intuitive. I like the saying: "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach him how to fish, feed him for a lifetime." If you keep giving money to homeless people, then they think that they don't have to contribute anything to society to make a living. They think that they can be provided for so they don't have to work. I'm not going to have any part in rewarding homeless people for being lazy. Now, its true that some homeless people might have mental disabilities, or perhaps can't work for some reason. Well, we have tax payer paid facilities to support people like that. If I'm gonna pay taxes anyway, they might as well be going toward something halfway productive.

I also have a theory on why starvation exists in the world. Take Africa for example. There are millions of starving kids, right? Do you know why there are millions of starving kids? Because we keep feeding them. African parents who can't even feed themselves decide to give birth to children. If only parents who could support their children actually gave birth to children, then there would be no starving kids. However, since we keep feeding those hungry kids, parents think they can give birth to more kids since they will be fed. This perpetuates the issue. By feeding starving kids, we are allowing more hungry kids to grow. Solution? Stop feeding them. I know, its a tough stance to maintain. What if I were one of those starving kids? Well, I would be upset at my parents for giving birth to me then forgetting that I need to be fed. Then I would follow my instincts and fight for survival. I would probably end up joining an African military group and murder lots of people. So... I'm not going to give money to a homeless person except to punish myself. LOL

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I just opened my 5 minute gratitude journal, and there was a message from Alex Ikonn, writer of the 5 minute journal. WOW

?If you ever want to get in touch with Alex, let me know. We have many mutual friends.

Interesting. So on one hand, I believe what I wrote, but on the other hand, I could be entirely wrong.

Haha. Here's what I'd recommend. Take a trip to Africa. See what's happening there first hand. That's how you will know best. A great organization you can watch is the Unreasonable Group. Their video series' are really cool. Just remember, the solutions are very rarely as simple as what you think. For instance, yes there are facilities to support the mental health of homeless... but they are horribly underfunded. Homeless is much less an issue of "laziness" and much more an issue of mental health.

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?If you ever want to get in touch with Alex, let me know. We have many mutual friends.

Haha. Here's what I'd recommend. Take a trip to Africa. See what's happening there first hand. That's how you will know best. A great organization you can watch is the Unreasonable Group. Their video series' are really cool. Just remember, the solutions are very rarely as simple as what you think. For instance, yes there are facilities to support the mental health of homeless... but they are horribly underfunded. Homeless is much less an issue of "laziness" and much more an issue of mental health.

Hey thats so cool that you know so many people :) Well I would love to get in touch with Alex, but I don't know how I could provide value to him. When I meet people whose attention I want I first try to think of how I can bring value to them.

You're right of course. Visiting Africa would provide perspective among other things. I didn't mean to act like it was a simple situation. I personally would never have children unless I could provide for their needs with my own resources. It seems like I'm in the minority compared to alot of the world. Yes, it is also true that I am fortunate to live in the United States, which is a decent country, compared to others. Personally I feel that we are becoming far too authoritarian and turning into a police state, and I have bad experiences with the police to back up this belief. But compared to African countries or middle eastern countries, I'm terribly lucky.

I'll check out the Unreasonable Group. Thanks for the input :)

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When I meet people whose attention I want I first try to think of how I can bring value to them.

?This is definitely the right approach. So take some time, keep through your journal and when the time is right, let me know. I can get an introduction for you.

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Day 8

Today was chill. I spent a lot of time relaxing outside and enjoying the shade, reading the 5 minute gratitude journal then beginning to fill it out. After responding to Avinash's post I decided to devote most of my day toward learning more about nutrition. I re-watched a documentary called Fathead which I watched a year and a half ago, and learned even more than I did last time. I will make a post about it in the nutrition part of the forums later, because of how awesome it was.

I walked the dog, took a history test online, and decided that I want to hike one of the tall hills a couple miles from my house. I'll post pics tomorrow when its sunny. I never do things like that but I'm in the mood for adventures and besides I need fun activities to replace video games, which by the way I haven't felt any cravings for.

Umm, I didn't meet anyone attractive today (except that one person I saw in the mirror :D lol jk) So this challenge is gonna have to be delayed. Tomorrow I am going to the gym, grocery store, and farmers market, so I should be able to complete the challenge. Hopefully.

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