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Pissing people off

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Posted

So my whole life I have had this 'thing' (and I use the term thing as I am not ascertained as to what it is exactly just yet). I am always finding myself in social situations that I have a notion of pissing the other party off.

Lately I have noticed my social habits have changed. This 'thing' is popping up again. To hypothesise, I have started giving less shits about the way I act and have become more animated by my will. Therefore my rather expressive behaviours may be too much to handle for some people and my intuition has picked up on it. Or, I still bear relics of my social paranoia. Or, I'm just a cunt and people cant stand me. Whether it's the former or the latter; I would benefit from some advice on how to be more charismatic and socially pleasant in general.

You guys know a lot of stuff so I would be grateful to hear from you. Am I a twat? Do you notice any dickish behaviour coming from me? Please tell em if so. I am not easily offended; especially in this context.

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Posted

Do NOT censor yourself. Go out, interact with people as per usual and figure out what upsets people. Some people will take a light roast really well others will pretend it's the end of the world. Learn about yourself first, the "other parties" second and then choose what to and what not to say. There is no specific advice beyond this. If you care, Charisma on Command is a really good youtube channel that breaks down social interaction rather well. You mgiht learn something there. GOOD LUCK! 

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Posted

@Csaba_Bekesi Thanks for the insight man. I may sound like a complete autistic here but I am just trying to expand myself. First hand experience is always the best way.

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Posted

I relate to that A LOT.

Today I realize how much of a dick I was a few years ago. I thought I was cool. I thought people were oversensitive. But in fact, I was just being a dick.

It's important that you noticed it yourself, because no one else can do it for you. Your ego wouldn't listen to anyone.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think you're a dick! But since you asked for help, I assume you're not happy with your social skills.

I recommend a read of the first two parts of Dale Carnegie's "How to Make Friends and Influence People". I think it is on public domain, you can get a copy for free on the internet.

The earlier you become aware and learn about social intelligence the better.

 

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Posted (edited)

I know how you feel.

I've lost some friends but that's because I'm not a pushover anymore. And to be honest I don't want to use my energy on this kind of people.

My attitude before was more like: "Oh, I need to be friends with everyone. If they don't like me, it's the world's end". My attitude now is more like: "I don't care about their opinions - either they like me or not". You can't be friends with everyone so choose which friendships you want to use our energy on.

But don't be a dick - just because you've your opinion, you don't have to say it aloud. Ask yourself the question: "Will this benefit anything?" If the answer is no, then walk away or try to turn the conversation towards another subject.

And by the way - if you want to read some alternative self-help I can highly recommend Mark Manson

Edited by Dolocorp

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