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Burned out need help.

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Posted

Hey guys!

So for the last few days I've really been looking for reasons why I'm feeling so depressed and have no motivation to do whatsoever.

I think I've had a burn out, but didn't know it was called like that and I'm still in the burn out mood. Already for 3 months or so.

3 Months ago I was the best version of myself. Literally everything went great in my life. 
I worked out 6 times a week, tracked all my macro's etc. didn't eat unhealthy a single time. I also had some experiences for the first time with a beautiful girl.

I was so determined to becoming better and better. And I remember telling myself: "Soon you will relapse to gaming and fall into the deep again''.

And it happened. For 3 days in a row I played WoW non stop, but I didn't think of it as being burned out from all the stress from never doing enough or over achieving.

So right now I can only remember how I was like before that relapse and everything after that is just a blur for me.

Right now I'm gaming, I have no motivation to workout, to read, to meditate. Basically all the things that I used are gone. All the good habits I'd developed.

Do you guys have experiences with this? Or do you know how to recover from this?

Thanks in advance!

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Posted (edited)

Hey I ahd a phase where I put a lot of pressure on myself and all progress was nto good enough. That's the dark side of motivation. Cam recommended the book "Play: How it shapes the brain".

It isn't about how computer gaming is bad as you might assume, but about the importance of play in our lives. Things we just do for our enjoyment. How little kids play basically. I found it an interesting read and it helped me a bit to put things in the greater perspective. If you force yourself to hard it starts to feel like you "must" do things.. This is never the case by your own progress. You want all these things. But if you go too far and want things to fast this way of looking at things changes. You stop focusing on the good feeling you have after a workout or how proud you are of the things you achieved and want more and more. It was hard for me to stop this over ambition. But I found it important to focus on the few things i really wanted to do and let the rest of things I could/should have done be. Also helpful is to set a low daily/weekly but high 6month goal. We always overestimate what we can handle in a  short time. But the cool thing is that we can recover our energy and over time we can do way more then we think we can. These recovery phases are the most important thing in progress(similar to bodybuilding).

Your habits and good things you developed aren't gone. It is like muscle is coming back faster and easier after a longer training pause. Your positive habits will come back faster too. Just start slowly again and be aware of the reasons why things went wrong last time so you can make it better this time. This relapse could be the best thing that happened to you. Because now you know how much you can take before you break. Better to experience this now then with 30 when you commit to be in stressful job just because your ambition is to high. This failure can be a step to a better you. That is the beauty of failures. They show us where we stand and really let us learn stuff. Fail fast and fail often!

I would recommend you just to commit one daily thing and stick to it. Start slow but start.

Edited by WorkInProgress
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Posted

Hey I ahd a phase where I put a lot of pressure on myself and all progress was nto good enough. That's the dark side of motivation. Cam recommended the book "Play: How it shapes the brain".

It isn't about how computer gaming is bad as you might assume, but about the importance of play in our lives. Things we just do for our enjoyment. How little kids play basically. I found it an interesting read and it helped me a bit to put things in the greater perspective. If you force yourself to hard it starts to feel like you "must" do things.. This is never the case by your own progress. You want all these things. But if you go too far and want things to fast this way of looking at things changes. You stop focusing on the good feeling you have after a workout or how proud you are of the things you achieved and want more and more. It was hard for me to stop this over ambition. But I found it important to focus on the few things i really wanted to do and let the rest of things I could/should have done be. Also helpful is to set a low daily/weekly but high 6month goal. We always overestimate what we can handle in a  short time. But the cool thing is that we can recover our energy and over time we can do way more then we think we can. These recovery phases are the most important thing in progress(similar to bodybuilding).

Your habits and good things you developed aren't gone. It is like muscle is coming back faster and easier after a longer training pause. Your positive habits will come back faster too. Just start slowly again and be aware of the reasons why things went wrong last time so you can make it better this time. This relapse could be the best thing that happened to you. Because now you know how much you can take before you break. Better to experience this now then with 30 when you commit to be in stressful job just because your ambition is to high. This failure can be a step to a better you. That is the beauty of failures. They show us where we stand and really let us learn stuff. Fail fast and fail often!

I would recommend you just to commit one daily thing and stick to it. Start slow but start.

This was incredibly helpful! I can't thank you enough for these kind words. 
I will save your comment and review it as often as possible. I think that I'll start by committing to meditate daily, because it sets me in a good mood which will snowball the rest of my day hopefully!

Thanks again <3

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Posted

Sounds great. It always make me glad if I can help. Best of luck.

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It seems you lost momentum and got drawn back in to your old habits. Try one of these:

  • Focus on small daily tasks and build momentum from that - if you haven't already, you might want to build a morning routine and get some stuff crossed out of your list early on.
  • Look for opportunities to new experiences - These give you new things to explore and learn from.
  • Change your environment for some activities. If you work out everyday at the gym, you might want to have a exercise routine at a park or go swimming one day a week.

I've tried all the above and they worked for me in one way or another.

Mario also said something very important, at least to me: remember to have fun when challenging yourself.

Embrace your fears. It's going to be ok.

 

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It seems you lost momentum and got drawn back in to your old habits. Try one of these:

  • Focus on small daily tasks and build momentum from that - if you haven't already, you might want to build a morning routine and get some stuff crossed out of your list early on.
  • Look for opportunities to new experiences - These give you new things to explore and learn from.
  • Change your environment for some activities. If you work out everyday at the gym, you might want to have a exercise routine at a park or go swimming one day a week.

I've tried all the above and they worked for me in one way or another.

Mario also said something very important, at least to me: remember to have fun when challenging yourself.

Embrace your fears. It's going to be ok.

 

Thank you so much for the kind words and support!

I really love the swimming idea which I'll definitely take action on. I have a swimming pool just 4 minutes from my house haha!

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Posted

Hey guys!

So for the last few days I've really been looking for reasons why I'm feeling so depressed and have no motivation to do whatsoever.

I think I've had a burn out, but didn't know it was called like that and I'm still in the burn out mood. Already for 3 months or so.

3 Months ago I was the best version of myself. Literally everything went great in my life. 
I worked out 6 times a week, tracked all my macro's etc. didn't eat unhealthy a single time. I also had some experiences for the first time with a beautiful girl.

I was so determined to becoming better and better. And I remember telling myself: "Soon you will relapse to gaming and fall into the deep again''.

And it happened. For 3 days in a row I played WoW non stop, but I didn't think of it as being burned out from all the stress from never doing enough or over achieving.

So right now I can only remember how I was like before that relapse and everything after that is just a blur for me.

Right now I'm gaming, I have no motivation to workout, to read, to meditate. Basically all the things that I used are gone. All the good habits I'd developed.

Do you guys have experiences with this? Or do you know how to recover from this?

Thanks in advance!

Hello Robin, 

I've done 110 days myself (just about 3.5 months roughtly), so I can relate to your struggles. 

I went back to games last year sometime Februry. I guess for me it was different. I did my meditation and took better care of myself (sleeping habit was waaay better), but I guess for me I thought I could go back and not get trapped. But that of course wasn't the case. 

For me it was like I was on the otherside of the fence. Games to me felt like a waste of time. At the time I was converting all the energy I would have spent gaming on my business designing board games, so I guess, for me it worked. 

But for you, I'd consider diging back into your meditation and trying to focus on why you wanted to stop in the first place. Sure you can say that it was the better yourself, but it appears to me the stress of continuing your betterment lead you to short-circuit of sorts. Try not to place so much stress on the aspect of achievements. Maybe this was something you pursued in games? Were you an Achievement hunter in WoW or elsewhere? 

Most importantly - don't think about your new good habits as gone. Consider this a checkpoint of sorts. If you've been gaming for a long, long time. It's going to take some trial and error. 

If you come up with anything in regards to reaccuring your motivation, let me know because I can use some pointers myself haha. 

You got this. 

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Posted

I am late but I would still like to add one point: Since we are in the winter time right now, you might see a doctor and talk about a winter depression. I read that many people suffer from it without knowing they do. The lack of sunlight and warmth always pulls me down. Might be the case for you as well. So, this is just an idea you could try. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck and the greatest success. :)

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Posted

Hey guys!

So for the last few days I've really been looking for reasons why I'm feeling so depressed and have no motivation to do whatsoever.

I think I've had a burn out, but didn't know it was called like that and I'm still in the burn out mood. Already for 3 months or so.

3 Months ago I was the best version of myself. Literally everything went great in my life. 
I worked out 6 times a week, tracked all my macro's etc. didn't eat unhealthy a single time. I also had some experiences for the first time with a beautiful girl.

I was so determined to becoming better and better. And I remember telling myself: "Soon you will relapse to gaming and fall into the deep again''.

And it happened. For 3 days in a row I played WoW non stop, but I didn't think of it as being burned out from all the stress from never doing enough or over achieving.

So right now I can only remember how I was like before that relapse and everything after that is just a blur for me.

Right now I'm gaming, I have no motivation to workout, to read, to meditate. Basically all the things that I used are gone. All the good habits I'd developed.

Do you guys have experiences with this? Or do you know how to recover from this?

Thanks in advance!

Hello Robin, 

I've done 110 days myself (just about 3.5 months roughtly), so I can relate to your struggles. 

I went back to games last year sometime Februry. I guess for me it was different. I did my meditation and took better care of myself (sleeping habit was waaay better), but I guess for me I thought I could go back and not get trapped. But that of course wasn't the case. 

For me it was like I was on the otherside of the fence. Games to me felt like a waste of time. At the time I was converting all the energy I would have spent gaming on my business designing board games, so I guess, for me it worked. 

But for you, I'd consider diging back into your meditation and trying to focus on why you wanted to stop in the first place. Sure you can say that it was the better yourself, but it appears to me the stress of continuing your betterment lead you to short-circuit of sorts. Try not to place so much stress on the aspect of achievements. Maybe this was something you pursued in games? Were you an Achievement hunter in WoW or elsewhere? 

Most importantly - don't think about your new good habits as gone. Consider this a checkpoint of sorts. If you've been gaming for a long, long time. It's going to take some trial and error. 

If you come up with anything in regards to reaccuring your motivation, let me know because I can use some pointers myself haha. 

You got this. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to help me with my struggles hehe ^^

I was definitely super addicted to achieving new goals and levels in games. I always wanted to be the best in the games which led to so much time wasted. After I'd quit gaming I kind of had the same mindset in real life. I wasn't allowed to skip a training, I wasn't allowed to eat unhealthy stuff etc. etc. These are all good things, but I had put so much stress on myself by telling me this every single day and never taking the time to reflect on my self where I was. I didn't see any progress (in my opinion) and it was burning me out. 
This time I will rather enjoy the process. I will not put so much stress on myself and I will not be mad at myself if I don't reach a goal fast enough. I will just simply reflect on myself and do better next time. I've sold my PS4 and bought a Calisthenics course for 1 year. I'm planning on learning new skills such as Muscle Up, Levers, Plance etc. 

The army is really what inspires me and I want to be better for myself and so that I can contribute to a safer world.

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Posted

I am late but I would still like to add one point: Since we are in the winter time right now, you might see a doctor and talk about a winter depression. I read that many people suffer from it without knowing they do. The lack of sunlight and warmth always pulls me down. Might be the case for you as well. So, this is just an idea you could try. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck and the greatest success. :)

Thanks man! I don't think that's my problem though. 
It is true that the winter sucks right now haha. I would like to see a bit more sun so that I don't have to wear 10 sweaters :P

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