Quit for 90 Days!

76 posts in this topic

Posted

Welcome to the club! I had suffered from less than ideal hygiene before quitting games so don't feel alone in that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I had suffered from less than ideal hygiene before quitting games so don't feel alone in that.

?I think this is a topic/video I should do (so many gamers have this problem lol...) but it's not a problem I specifically had. If I was going to cover it, what would the key points be from your gamer perspective?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Very happy to be able to add my own post to this thread.

First, I made a long 90 day post in my journal that basically tells my whole story. But this thread is more about top 5 lessons learned, so I can do that too! Here goes:

  1. The Power of a Public Journal
    I've kept a journal for a long time, but this is the first time I've journaled so consistently and gotten so much out of it. Having a journal that is public makes you accountable to others - it motivates you to post and for what you post to be thoughtful. It requires you to be vulnerable. It gives you a chance to be seen, and for others to relate and respond and challenge you. All these things taken together are a wonderful recipe for growth. I think in my 90 days I only missed one day of journaling, because I was travelling or something. I really can't overstate how important the daily journal has been for me on my journey. If I decided to quit games without the support of a community I might have succeeded, but I don't think I would have grown as much.
     
  2. The Nature of Addiction
    When I first began my 90 days, I don't think I saw myself as a gaming addict, but I'm starting to change my mind about that. Here's a definition of addiction that I came across, which seems pretty standard:

    "Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable but the continued use/act of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others."

    For me, gaming was pleasurable and compulsive, and certainly took up enough time to interfere with other responsibilities in my life. It impacted my relationships negatively because I wasn't present for them. It impacted my work negatively because I wasn't as engaged with it. It impacted my physical health because I ate poorly (fast food = more time for gaming) and didn't take the time to exercise. It impacted my mental health because it isolated me and restricted the amount I socialized. And indeed, until recently I wasn't even aware of the negative aspects of this behavior, in part because this was basically how I had behaved for most of my life.
     
  3. How to be Happy
    Like Joe, I think that I (at least unconsciously) believed that happiness would follow from success, rather than the other way around. But then what leads to happiness? I don't have a definitive answer, but I have learned some things that you can do that will contribute to your happiness. First, practice gratitude to improve your ability to feel gratitude and appreciation. Second, be vulnerable with others in your life to deepen your connections. Third, eliminate negative habits from your life and replace them with positive ones. Fourth, live your life with intentionality to give yourself a greater sense of meaning and purpose; instead of leveling up your character, level up your own life and skills. Fifth, put yourself in new social situations so that you can make new friends - building a healthy social life is among the most important things you can do to be happy.
     
  4. Change is Possible
    Despite some people thinking "people never change", change is in fact possible. There are some caveats: 1) You can't change anyone else - they have to want to change themselves; 2) Change takes time and is a lot of work. Change is the result of The Slight Edge - consistent small efforts made every single day. After enough time, you'll be in a new place that you wouldn't have thought possible before. New options that once seemed out of reach now seem to make sense as next steps. While occasionally forcing yourself a ways out of your comfort zone might give you a burst of growth, most growth comes from simple sustained effort every day - identifying what you action you need to take to improve yourself, and then taking that action.
     
  5. Having Goals Matters
    This might sound silly, but there was a time when I dismissed the idea of setting concrete goals. I think I got this idea from Leo Baubata's blog post on the matter. I have a lot of respect for Leo and Zenhabits, and I think his point that we shouldn't be too rigidly fixed on a particular outcome is a good one, but still, having goals matters. I'm not going to decide to run a 5k by accident, for example. Consciously deciding that I would make it my goal to run a 5k motivated me to take the time to train - I was going to be held accountable by the event itself. I wanted to do as well as possible and have a race time that I was proud of, so that led me to starting a training program. Choosing to do a 90 day detox has the same effect as well. Now that I've met the 90 days and the 5k goals, I have found myself less motivated somewhat - so, without goals in place, it's easy to slip up. I'm going to pick new goals to keep myself moving forward and keep myself focused. I believe I will accomplish more this way.

Thanks for reading! B|

Edited by kortheo
formatting
8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Congratulations on making it to this huge milestone!  I'm looking forward to hearing what your new goals will be!  I love number 4.  We can change so much when we know how.

If you're ever struggling with something in the future, read the words that you wrote in here today.  They are a great reminder of what you can accomplish!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I'm proud to say that I've reached my goal of 90 days! (having this thread here also makes it sweeter haha) 

Here's my five points. 

  • In Control: While I would mindless sit and play games for hours on end, I never really understood why, I just did it. Now after weaning off games and have more of an introspective, I feel I am able to understand why things were the way there were going for me. I feel more in control of the things I want to do. 
  •  A Matter of Meditation:  I want to say in November, I started meditating for 20 minutes everyday. I've been doing this to this day and look forward to it! I find having a time to slow down really helps me get focused on things that matter to me.
  • Different Lenses: I see things a little bit differently now. In the past, I took full responsibility for my actions, but now I really take responsibility. I feel more free in a way because of this. I don't have any excuses. I could easily say I was tired because I played too many video games or that I would have had at least one published novel if it wasn't for games. Now that isn't the case. I just do it or don't. Ya know as Yoda says: "Do or do not. There is no try." I believe it. 
  • Energy Shift!: When I did play games and was focused on a task, I went HAM. Whatever the game I learned the strats and looked at how I could improve my game. Today I take that energy and use it to propel my drive for my Company. I'm getting work DONE and it's wonderful. 
  •  Relax Man... / Selfless ConfidenceWithout all this pressure to get better in games or have to do things by a certain time before reset(s) (IE: Destiny),  I've been more about learning, being patient, taking the time to really absorb things. I'm still working becoming a better listener, but all in due time! 

    Honestly if you're here on this site / forum you know why you're here. This is wonderful because having that awareness puts you leagues about the norm. There's many scapegoat shepherds out there and if I'm going to be hungry like the wolf, let it be for a true purpose. 

    -Oct    
6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Woohoo! Super proud of you man. Thanks for sharing. 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Just 42days to go and I will put down my name in this hall-of-glory thread :)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Just 42days to go and I will put down my name in this hall-of-glory thread :)

Can't wait! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Hi everyone. This post is 2 days late, but I figured someone might benefit from seeing this and I should be contributing back to the community that helped me out so much anyways. Skip past my history if you just want to see how my 90 days went.

Me

A quick history about me, I've been playing games since I was 6 or so. My addiction truly began at the age of 9 or 10 when I started playing games on websites such as miniclip.com and addictinggames.com. I later found out about Runescape during this time and that was my first main gaming addiction. After that I bounced around to various MMORPG's on my PC and various console games. Overall, Runescape was my most played game which I quit at the age of 18 (4 years ago). My other addictions have been to Minecraft, Diablo, PoE, various steam games, and finally LoL.

I've averaged 12-15 hours a day most of the time either playing a game, reading about a game, or watching video content about a game. My mind was constantly consumed with ways to improve and this escapism eventually caused me to fail greatly in my academics. I started to slip around 11th and 12th grade since more work was required outside of class, but I still managed to pass with a good gpa. After that I went to university for a year and dropped out since I couldn't pass most of my classes. 

90 days journey

I found it relatively easy to quit my gaming addiction this time. I truly hit rock bottom in the 3 months leading up to that day. My gaming addiction was my fault. It caused my relationship with my SO at the time to suffer as well as with my family. I also had no friends in real life outside of my cousins. 3 months before I started this detox I was going to the gym for 3 days a week. 

I tried various times to go cold turkey, but I always went back to gaming. My entire life I tried to moderate, but I could never get it down.  A comment by Yxven really sums how I felt,

When I game, every moment not spent gaming feels like a waste of time.

I made a list of goals for 2016 and broke those down into monthly goals. Then I broke those down even further as to what steps I could take to accomplish them and what I could learn every month so I could see progress. I started to up my gym regiment to 4-5x a week, learn mandarin chinese daily for 30 minutes, read a book a month, play at least 30 minutes of guitar a day, and daily learning of coding.

What really helped me out was seeing my new activities and hobbies in a daily tracker. Everyday marking one of these off in an app I installed made me feel a sense of accomplishment. 

In the first two weeks I played offline games with my brother or cousins a couple of times for 2-3 hours. Since then I had no desire to game and saw icons for games as a mental distraction since it would bring up memories of the past. I ended up uninstalling every game on my PC since I didn't see the point of how gaming would make me succeed in any of my goals.

In the days leading up to the 85th day I had a bit of a slip-up. I used to make gaming videos for Runescape which I found while cleaning out an old laptop and started to rewatch a few of them. After this I watched some YouTube videos that I loved about that game. On the 85th day after seeing a nice video I wanted to see how it was so I installed it and jumped online. I usually go online on this game every couple of months for an hour just to relive some of that nostalgia. I went on it and instantly felt the desire to succeed, to set up goals and succeed inside of that world. 

After an hour, I realized that the fantasy in my head was just trying to relive the fun I had in my past. I'm a different person now with my productive hobbies though. I uninstalled it and had a good chuckle about how silly my thoughts were. Hopefully that doesn't count as breaking the detox. I think that slip-up made me feel even stronger about not requiring gaming to be apart of my life.

Analysis

90 days are over and the journey has just begun. I've been game-free nearly the entirety of that detox period and at the highest point of my life physically as well as mentally. I've been fairly successful in my courses this semester and even picked up a part-time job. I've read 3 books which really changed my perception on life. I've successfully hit the gym 4-5x a week and my body is proof of my progress. I've memorized a song on the guitar and nearly a few others, but I now know how to play chords and read tabs easily which is amazing compared to what I knew before I started. 

This has gotten too long, but a few tips of what I learned:

  • Be aware of how you spend your time and what distracts you most.

If it's not aiding you in your goals then cut down on it less or remove it completely. Watching less youtube and spending time on various social media and reddit/all made me waste a lot of time. 

  • The first 30 days are the most difficult.

Just remember to keep yourself busy and outside of games. Even laying down doing nothing or meditating is better than playing. 

  • Go outside everyday, no matter what

I can't emphasize how much this helped me out. Whenever I chose to stay inside for a day, I would feel useless and trapped in a box like how I used to feel back when I was addicted to gaming. 

Ending

There's still a lot of work to be done though to accomplish my dreams and goals and progress towards it daily will make it count. 

Hope I explained everything well, thanks for taking the time to read this and good luck on your own journey.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Thanks for sharing Supa! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Alright, I've finally decided to get this 90 Day Detox post down, I've been procrastinating as I have an expectation of myself to write a lot for this since I've relapsed twice. I hope you enjoy my story!

On my third detox attempt, I have finished 90 days without gaming!

I've gone 90 days without gaming, but as of Tuesday (when I hit 90 days) it's been 176 days since I officially quit gaming in the Game Quitters Community. I'm proud of myself for having persevered through this, and I thank everybody that's helped me along the way.

It's been a long journey for me, and very difficult at times. It's not over yet, but I've come a long way since I started and the ride should be a lot easier from here. I've relapsed twice whilst trying to do the detox, and I've learned key lessons from these experiences.

The advice below may not be the most original, but I did my best to avoid regurgitating the same information that other 90-day finishers.

Here are the most important things I've learnt from my time quitting:

Avoid triggers.

To get through quitting gaming successfully, I had to not play video games. To not play video games, I needed to minimise the amount of time spent being 'triggered', being prompted to think of my time gaming, as having video games played in the house by other people convinced me of how fun and worthwhile gaming could be (ending up in relapse both times). Not being reminded of the virtual rewards gaming provides is paramount to moving on from them, so it is important to minimise the ways you can be triggered by not associating yourself with any gaming related activities wherever possible.

Closure to gaming has to be self-initiated.

If you haven't found closure to gaming in the past, you're very unlikely to find closure to gaming in the future by playing. This means that as long as gaming fulfills some of your needs such as the need for accomplishment, social interaction, a temporary escape, a challenge, and/or a sense of purpose, there always be that 'one last game' you want to play or 'one last thing' you want to accomplish in a video game. I've found I craved gaming when those needs weren't being met, and that I couldn't find closure to gaming by gaining virtual rewards as my needs would only be fulfilled temporarily. If you want to find closure to gaming and you just can't play in moderation, perhaps you need to just fresh without gaming, but to also find activities that fulfill those needs that gaming did.

Be intentional about new activities.

To get through quitting gaming successfully, I had to not play video games. But get through to an improved life that I wanted, I needed to involve myself in new, engaging activities, and be intentional about how I do them (I am still needing to work on this one!). When I hadn't been intentionally doing a handful of activities that together provided engagement, provided social opportunity, provided rest from daily activities, and developed a sense of accomplishment or growth, I fell into the dark well of using gaming to fulfill those needs. It took a lot of courage to get back out and start over, I learned that I need to take my needs seriously and take steps towards making sure they are fulfilled in positive and productive ways.

Acknowledge how you have viewed gaming in the past, and the need to move on.

Before I could quit in the long term, I needed to fully acknowledge what gaming had meant to me in the past and the reasons for and against playing them. I only had a good sit down to say goodbye to my games in my third attempt at quitting, and it was a very emotional experience. I put on a sad song from one of my old games (this helped emphasize the isolation gaming has caused me) whilst I thought about my previous times gaming. I looked back and relished the time I spent growing up with gaming as the pinnacle of enjoyment, excitement, and friendship with my twin brother in my life (gaming was a way of bonding together), and acknowledged that it had been a significant part of my identity and that gaming meant a lot to me. I then moved on to reflect on how that had changed over the years and why I needed to move on to make the most of my adult life. I cried, and it was an important ritual or 'rite-of-passage' type of activity I needed to get my head around to fully accept and acknowledge the implications of quitting gaming.

Consistent journal posting is key for accountability aids long term success.

Posting in an online journal is both an important opportunity and obligation. Doing so has helped to keep me accountable for making positive change consistently in my life, and although it may seem like an obligation, is paramount to improving consistently. Through keeping a journal I've been able to implement daily habits to help me get through the day with flying colours, keeping motivated, working productively, and enjoying my day more. On the days I haven't been journalling, I noticeably slacken off and under-perform in many areas of my life. It's connected me with many people in the community and enabled me to receive much-needed support to continue my journey and provide the same help to others.

Energise our body to make the most of your day.

Exercising daily is a physical motivator. Although it may be difficult in the morning to get out of bed and do exercise (I still struggle to be consistent with this), exercising daily energises your body to function fully and allows you to live the day in the fullest. It is the equivalent of getting a car an oil change and replacing its tyres, it will run much smoother and more reliably. Running most mornings wakes my body up and helps me to work and think well in the early hours of day, has helped lighten my mood significantly, and generally has kept me more active throughout the day. The days I haven't run, I notice a lack of motivation to do anything difficult and feel much lazier in comparison, which highlights the importance of keeping your body active.

 

I have plenty of other advice for anybody who needs it, but those are the most important ones that come to my mind at this time. I hope my advice has helped you, the reader, and I wish you have a wonderful day! :D

 

Thank you to all the people that have helped me along this journey so far, I am very appreciative of your inspiration that has supported me throughout my journey quitting. :)

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I had suffered from less than ideal hygiene before quitting games so don't feel alone in that.

?I think this is a topic/video I should do (so many gamers have this problem lol...) but it's not a problem I specifically had. If I was going to cover it, what would the key points be from your gamer perspective?

 

This is something I can talk about given it's been a big problem for me.

I don't think gaming itself is the cause of this. I think it's more because people who are addicted to games generally have low self esteem, and part of the reason they use gaming is to try to get a sense of self worth. Unfortunately, once the game is over, you are again reminded that you actually live in the real world where your self esteem is low. Low self esteem, in my experience, also leads to the idea that I just don't care what other people think of me or not caring much about yourself. If you don't care about yourself, then why would you exercise daily hygiene?

I personally didn't start showering on a regular basis until after high school. I would often go to school having not showered for days at a time, at least. To be honest, I'm very surprised nobody ever commented on me being smelly or something in school. As far as brushing teeth, I still have an issue with that. I simply don't do it regularly. This was the case even during my quitting attempts.

Again, I think it's tied to the way you view yourself. You're not likely to take care of something you don't care about. There might be outside reasons that force you to take care of yourself (say, working at a job or dating a girl), but once those are gone you go back to the way things were before. I know, because that's exactly the pattern for me. On days where I have nothing planned, I may skip showering entirely still, although this doesn't happen often anymore, as I have become quite grossed out by greasy hair.

Hope this helps.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Here I am! Proud finisher of the 90 day detox. Give me that badge Cam ;)

I don't have time right now to make an epic post like Alex or Kortheo but I will eventually edit it later on too share my way in a comprehensive way.

So long i stay with:

FUCK YEAH!

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Congratulations! Hitting the 90 day mark is a great milestone, but hopefully it'll be the start of a more fulfilling life for you :D

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Here I am! Proud finisher of the 90 day detox. Give me that badge Cam ;)

I don't have time right now to make an epic post like Alex or Kortheo but I will eventually edit it later on too share my way in a comprehensive way.

So long i stay with:

FUCK YEAH!

giphy.thumb.gif.07113933caad88590fad2859

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now