[NSFW] Marquess' journal (Cute emo girls inside!)

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Posted

Still working on the preview function. It's not in the admin panel so not sure what else I can do - I've contacted support for help. :)

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Posted

I like how detailed your description of a potential alcoholic scenario is. Anything to add?

That was a rough time my sophomore year of college. The date was the 11th of November, 2011 (11-11-11, I'll never forget that day that I'll never completely remember!) I was underage, and rarely had access to alcohol. When my friend invited me to a party and told me he was able to get a handle (1.75L) of vodka for us to split, I was stoked. When I went over, we took a couple shots and made a mix drink, but then everyone at the party decided they wanted to go out on the town. I saw how little of the handle I had managed to drink, and since I had paid for it and rarely had access to it, I decided I was going to try and finish my half. Within the next ~5 minutes, I chugged the rest of my half. Maybe to some people that wouldn't have much of an effect on them, but this was approximately my 6th time drinking alcohol, ever. I had no food in my stomach (hadn't eaten all day), and weighed ~120 lbs. at the time. Basically, we left the dorm room, walked down some street, and that is the last I remember of the night. I woke up the next morning in a hospital bed, with my girlfriend and best friend at the foot of my bed. Apparently I was running around town peeing on buildings with my friend and having a good time for a while, then at some point we all sat down as a group in a park. When everyone decided to get up, I guess I passed out and was completely unresponsive. My girlfriend (who was partially out of it at the time as well, but not nearly as bad as I was) started making a scene, claiming that if I died, she would die, and I guess people noticed and someone called an ambulance. When they showed up, they picked me up and I started vomiting in the street and all that good stuff, so they took me to the hospital and left me a nice little present in my wallet. A court summons for underage intoxication. At the time, I wanted to go to Medical School, and something like that would severely hurt my chances, so I paid for a lawyer to help expunge my record. ~$1,500 that I didn't have to spend later, the incident was behind me. Now, anytime I taste alcohol, I get physically ill. Especially vodka. I'll never be able to touch that stuff again. Anyways, that was my experience with alcohol. Nowadays I have a beer or hard cider whenever friends want to go out, but I struggle to drink those. I'm happy to put that part of my life behind me though.

I hope I didn't disappoint with my story! I have a ton of alcoholics in my family, and I know that I have a predisposition toward it, and an extremely addictive personality. I really have to watch what I'm doing or else something can completely consume my life (i'm looking at you, gaming...). Well I hope all is well with you, acquaintance! (is that better? :P). Take care, friend!

?

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Posted

Cute girls? I'll post the cutest girl I know!

IMG_1060.thumb.JPG.e243ca50f16ab69f73a78

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Posted

Cute girls? I'll post the cutest girl I know!

?Best post of the week.

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Posted

Ha, I think I'll stick with the other kind of cute girls for now. Having a larger window to parent a healthy child is a part of actual male privilege. I personally can't say I mind.

I've been doing some more writing, but it's all highly political, and I don't want to make this journal about such topics.

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Posted

I'm still alive. I'm not sure how nearly an entire month flew by, but time flies when you're having fun ... leveling a priest on a brand new WotLK private server to level 45, and then deleting it when the cognitive, emotional, and perhaps even some kind of spiritual dissonance becomes to much. It seems to be easy to start drifting towards spirituality when you start to fully understand how addicted you are. I saw a lot of this in addicts in the past; usually, it was Christianity.

I've spent most of the night negotiating with myself whether am I going to drink for the next few days or not. At the end, around 3 PM, I've taken medication that negates the effect of alcohol for about 24 hours and lessens the cravings. I'm not a fan of meds, but these specific pills are gods... let's just say I'm grateful for them.

I'm so fucked.

On the other hand, I'm writing and studying again. I just spend an hour learning how to use Gimp (image editing program similar to Photoshop). Do I get a trophy?

Right now, I can't imagine how I'd start playing WoW yet again. There is nowhere to play. I've deleted my last two characters, burned all the bridges with people I've played with ... there is nothing left. It's almost a shame because I met a very interesting guy on that last server. It was one of those encounters when you tell each other everything right away, and I need to admit I've missed that so badly. But, that only means, and I know that, I know, that I need to get out more. I can't be friends with someone who's not only deeply addicted to the game, but also extremely good at it. It wouldn't work.

Anyway, I'm out of private servers worth playing on. And I'm not going back to retail for a number of reasons I can't be bother to get into here.

So, we're good. For now.

Oddly enough, Life is Strange, a popular adventure game, still sits on my hard drive, and I'm still yet to play the thing. I prefer just to watch the gameplay vids on YouTube even though I'll probably pick it up at some point. The story is very well crafted and the characters really enjoyable. Adverb is not your friend, says Stephen King. Get the fuck out of your apartment and stop making imaginary characters a part of your emotional life -- I'm sure he'd agree with that as well.

myYQkLs.jpg

 

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Posted

Cam, may I ask what happened to some of my longer posts on page 1? They seem to be cut off: large parts are missing.

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Posted

Yes all I wanted to see are cute emo girls and now I don't even know what we are talking about.

;)

Go ahead with GIMP or studying! You will feel how you have some real progression in something, not like when you play a game for the 50'000 time...

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Posted

Cam, may I ask what happened to some of my longer posts on page 1? They seem to be cut off: large parts are missing.

We just moved the forum to a new database, some posts are missing/have bugs/errors. Our team is working through them right now.

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Posted

Hi Marchosias. Welcome back. Fortunately I read all your posts before the bugs.

You did earn something by learning GIMP: a great tool you can use on any operating system for free! So you save yourself (or your employer) quite some money.

I also noticed how many addicts turn to religion, especially Christianity, when sobering up. My favorite example is Dave Mustaine, the singer and guitarist of Megadeth. While those people say they've been saved by god I'm always tempted to dismiss it as brain damage from the addiction. Then I slap myself in the face and remind me that whatever works for us, whatever makes us better people, is the right way to go.

I used to be very fond of virtual characters. I kicked them away and made room for real people. I found out that social relationships give back what you put into them. Be consistent and yes, be insistent too :) If you really want to become friends with somebody (and to stay friends!), you must be there.

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Posted

Welcome back!  I'm really glad you're here again!

I have turned to meditation since I quit games instead of Christianity.  I left that religion after being raised in it and truly believing in it.  I didn't really pay much attention to spirituality for a lot of years, but I'm slowly starting to think about it more.  What I like about meditation is that I get to observe and get to know myself.  Nobody indoctrinates me into any belief or promises me any rewards or punishments for my behavior.  As I get to know myself through mindfulness and meditation, I learn who I am and what I want to do with my life.  Doing the things that my inner self, not my ego, wants to do just makes me a lot happier.  My ego just wants to be entertained, be idle, and fit in with a clique.  Beneath that, I have found that my deeper self wants to achieve, be unique, and help others when I can.  This is all stuff that I can say and have known for years, but there's something very much different to be able to look at yourself and see it there just waiting to be unleashed.

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Posted (edited)

Hey, I'm still alive and well. Just haven't felt much like keeping a diary here, but I'll start posting a bit more now.

By the way, you people should really support Cam on the social media. Gamequitters has a YouTube, Facebook, and a Twitter account, and more often than not they don't get a lot of likes/shares/etc. Meanwhile, these forums are getting filled with posts every day -- perhaps show some of that cool secret treehouse club stuff to the world.

It's true that it only takes a couple of clicks to reach the forums, but in the lands of internet, a few clicks is an epic and difficult journey only a few complete.

You need to mash your stuff to people's faces while not making them feel like you're mashing stuff to their faces*. So, go and spam those likes, favorites, and shares. It's important for this place to grow further.

Perhaps we can get some more (emo?) girls in here?

Emo+Girls+Hairstyles+%25287%2529.jpg


*This is probably also the reason Cam isn't telling you to engage his social media in his every post. But he thinks it every time. KEEP THAT IN MIND

EDIT: Woo, edit function is here!

Edited by Marchosias
CELEBRATING THE GLORIOUS EDIT FUNCTION
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Posted

Hey! Thanks for all your support on Facebook. I do appreciate it. Just trying to get the word out any way I can. :)

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Posted (edited)

Oh yeah, we should start bullying people into doing it more. It just looks sad when your FB post has two likes while everyone's posting on this forum every day. If I were a random person checking out Gamequitters on FB (or Twitter), my impression would be it's either a new site, or that no one cares about this guy who thinks gaming is bad LOLOLO. What else is supposed to be bad? PORN? LOL XD.

i play games coz i like it lol dont tell me wat too do haha.gaming is cool and u cant get addicted to it its not heroin,i can stp when i want. fkn hippie lol u think u smart

Well, anyway ...

After reading your FB link about distractions, I've installed a program that blocks certain websites for a set duration. I'm sure the thing can be somehow disabled, but I doubt it can be done in a second, which is all that takes to start messing around without it. As the brilliant delicioustacos put it:

I did that this morning, if you can’t tell. Coffee cereal shit shower shave. In the shower I thought about Important Matters. I read Raymond Carver’s “Elephant,” which used minimal language and dealt with AA related themes I can deeply relate to. I did all that shit and then sat down to type but first I looked at Tinder for one instant. Now this.

Thoughts fly away as I grasp them. If I could catch them they’d be the One Big Story that’d change my life. But I looked at one tweet. Hey white gamers who think Charleston cops guns republicans black people signal boost transphobia, said some whiteboy. I hate cops too but some third tier Salon freelancer chiding me makes me wish all ethnic minorities would be rounded up and exterminated, just to piss that guy off. I could unfollow him but then how would I be miserable.

Been working on writing short smut, and while that may sound exciting, it really is far more of a job than one might imagine. So, I do my best to write first thing in the morning, and lately that often turned into shitposting on social media ... instead of writing short "erotica" women of my mother's age read. Good thing my actual mother isn't very good at English and doesn't own an e-reader. I have to admit that some of this smut is still fairly well written, and it makes me feel uneasy at times -- since I still have long way to go before I get to that level.

Not being a native speaker sux. If only I'd be Japanese or something. Like with my Slavic language, there's no real reason to learn Japanese too (they all want you to speak English anyway), but at least it makes you look cool to weeaboo emo girls. As a Slav, I'm on a constant mission not to sound like Borat instead.

tumblr_nf9ljeWuta1qdzxq9o1_500.jpg

(Unsurprisingly, finding a picture of a weeaboo emo girl was easy.)

Edited by Marchosias
I DONT NEED A REASON FOR EDIT ANARCHY ANARCHY
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Posted (edited)

Hey Marchosias,

Glad to see you posting again, seems like you've been gone a while :). Your posts crack me up.

You make a good point that we should support GameQuitters better on social media. I try to post on FB posts when they show up in my news feed :3.

Hope the smut author-ship goes well!

EDIT: Also your "secret treehouse club" metaphor is an apt one, now that I think about it.

Edited by kortheo
reasons
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