MANCAVE: A conscious brotherhood where you will explore, expand, and elevate. Learn More

Shine Magical's journal

228 posts in this topic

Posted

Nice journal! Congrats on the large number of days. 

 

Personally ive stopped using a laptop and I've been using an app called Quality Time for my phone and found the app helpful so maybe it would be helpful for you too. Good luck on ur exam!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Question to think about: Why am I watching  tv shows? Did I simply forget my goals? Did I mentally shelve my goals because I'm in such an intense mental state with studying and it helps me cope? What would life be like without a laptop and how would I be able to handle not watching anime?

Maybe you are pushing yourself too hard? Gaming might have been the stress vent and now that you quit, you seek a replacement?

I had a similar experience actually as I found myself binge-watching series like Dangerous Grounds (a dude hunting elusive coffee blends all over the globe - how random is that?^^). Concerning work, I tried to become a workaholic over the course of three months, sipping coffee like a madman, working 12-14 hours a day during the week. Grades improved significantly, however I had a backlash phase where I could not motivate myself to do anything. Long story short, academic performance during the recharge was lousy.

If there is a series or good anime you want to watch, maybe you can use this as a reward? If you finished your study session, you could watch one episode. In order to see the next one, you need to finish your next session. Take a break and revise a lot two days before the exam to refresh your memory and finally, reward yourself with several episodes after you wrote the exam. I read that the human brain is more productive if we have a reward within reach. Just a thought

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I too have experienced stress and listening to dir en grey when studying for exams.

Study hard, hope u do well

Edited by lilX
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Life is suddenly very empty. I have so much catching up to do (have a long list of stuff I had put off while I was studying) -- and yet, I feel like I have nothing to do.

Now that I don't have to study every minute of the day and don't have that structure, I feel a bit aimless.

I have a lot that I want to start working on, but have not yet. While I have borrowed a bunch of books from the library, I do not have the urge to read them. I just want easy entertainment. I am aware that I am now gravitating towards TV shows and internet usage to fill this void. Though I have quit gaming, the core issue is still the same. But at least I have better self control with these other vices.

 

I think I will treat myself and get used to the new pace of my life before I start cracking down on myself to do stuff, because I deserve a break after what I went through to pass this test.

Edited by Shine Magical
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Congratulations on your test!

When you feel ready, get your to do list and start crossing some stuff to build momentum!

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Congrats. I find motivation and discipline to be the most challenging when there are no deadlines. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

You certainly deserve a break! Congrats on the test!

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Nice work with the test!

 I just want easy entertainment. I am aware that I am now gravitating towards TV shows and internet usage to fill this void. Though I have quit gaming, the core issue is still the same.

I think that core issue is pretty universal in the human species. :)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I have been resting a lot for the past week and getting accustomed to living a regular life again now that I don't have to study. Honestly, it feels weird and everything is a little alien to me. I feel out of place and like I have aged a lot.

 

So far I have caught up on: work, laundry, reading webtoons, TV shows, grocery shopping, hygiene, 2x salad per day routine.

I have started: cleaning apartment, reading books, cooking, light exercise, rekindling social life, adding to music library.

 

There is a lot more coming up for me that I need and want to do, but I am trying to pace things out to prevent being overwhelmed. I hope I can heal and become my previous self soon.

 

Song of the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CTYymbbEL4

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Today I slept 12 hours and called in sick to work.

I watched an anime movie that made me think -- it was about a person that had killed themselves but was given a chance to come back to life and live again.

In some ways it could be related to quitting video games, but I think I related to it deeper than that and more on how I should try to live life more fully and openly. This was something I had started working on but put on pause because of my test.

After I finished the movie, I started getting upset that I was using the computer because I have a stack of fresh books available to read 10 feet away. That I still don't really have close friends -- I have been getting closer to people at work, but that is not the same... etc. At one point I briefly looked at mmorpg.com to see what types of MMOs are popular nowadays, but quickly lost interest and closed it.

I think the movie stirred up some negative emotions and these other thoughts flooded through as well.

 

I have been estranged from my parents for 2 years now. We have not talked, and I have no desire to see either of them. I feel bad for my mom, because I know that she is sad about the situation, but I also know that it is the best for me. But even still, the situation also makes me sad. But I am still firm in my decision that I do not want any contact with them.

 

Today is day 206 and is a bit of down day.

 

Edit: I've decided to try to put my laptop in the closet and see how life is without it.

Edited by Shine Magical

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

"Keeping a journal makes life fruitful. The daily appointment with the blank page forces one to pay better attention to the doings of the day -- to listen harder, to think more clearly, to see more intently. It would be grim to have nothing to inscribe in one's notebook in the evening."

From "The Consolations of the Forest," a book I have been reading. I started to look up words in the dictionary when I come across them as I read, instead of trying to infer what they mean or skip over them. I would like to have a more sophisticated vocabulary.

I feel better today.

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Things are going pretty well with having my laptop in my closet. Although I do sit down and watch a TV show occasionally or browse reddit on my phone, I think I am more mindful about my internet usage than if my laptop were readily available with 24/7 access.

First thing I did when I got home yesterday from work was grab the yoga mat and read a book. It was instinctive, which I really liked. Normally I would have just grabbed my laptop and rested for 40 mins while browsing the internet.

I also got promoted at work. Though my base salary is still not near what I want, I am getting closer and am now in a good bargaining position.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now