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Not so caught in the undertow anymore - journal


UndRt0w

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Days without gaming: 16 & 17

Craving: 3/10 yessterday had 0 craving, day before it was around 4-5

Social: 10/10 Went to the David Gilmour concert alone. Didn't talk a lot (didn't want to) before the concert I talked to a guy who was going elsewhere. Yesterday I was very social at work, after work I grabbed some food with a friend. Planned on just going a couple of hours but in the end we st ayed for about 4 hours because it was serious fun.

 

NEW GOALS

 

 

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 8.5/50 (+1.5) Didn't play yesterday, didn't really have a lot of time
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 19/100 (+1%)
  • Exercise: 1/16 (+0, didn't plan it either so it's all good)
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 0/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

CHAINS

All my streaks ended yesterday. No regrets though. Because of the David Gilmour concert I was home a 3:30 am , I woke up just in time for work and after work I did social stuff untill 12-1 am ... so didn't really have time and was really tired. It doesn't really feel like I broke the chains though. 

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Thanks man! It was th e best concert I ever saw BY FAR. I saw great bands like Radiohead, Pearl Jam and Queens of the stone age (twice) already .. but I have to admit. I don't consider myself a great David Gilmour/Pink Floyd fan .. obviously I like them but I don't know many of their songs and I was sooooo impressed. This was much more than just playing a c ouple good song .. it had everything, visual, sound, variation in instruments, a small break , just everything. I'm bored really fast, even at the best concert I get bored for about 10 minutes in the middle usually .. but now a concert of 3 (!!!) hours, didn't get bored for a single moment .. amazing!

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Days without gaming: 18

Craving: 5/10 Today I wanted to be lazy. I'm tired after 2 busy days and I really wanted to game the whole day today. Instead I mowed my lawn and watched some sports with the family. I didn't actually consider playing, not at all, but still I kinda missed it. If I ever resume playing games it will serve well on days like these.

Social: 5/10 Stayed at home. Was social against the cleaning lady and my neighbour. Made some jokes, got some laughs, it's all good.

 

GOALS

 

 

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 11/50 (+2.5) Back at it again!
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 19/100 (+0%) didn't read yesterday. Will read in a minute but I always fill it in the day after
  • Exercise: 1/16 (+0, I wanted a lazy day, I got a lazy day)
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 0/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

 

TRUTHFUL THURSDAY

I almost forgot!

Well I'll share one of my ways I justified playing games.

I'm kind of a philosophical guy .. I guess ... I often think about the meaning of life. I believe life doesn't really have a meaning. The real goal seems to not get extinct as a species I guess, surviving. Which is not really a problem for humans (yet, it will someday if we keep living like pigs).

Being happy is the real goal for humans. People can get happiness from a lot of things and it varies. It even varies within a person. I guess a major thing is fullfilment. But people get fullfilment from a lot of things. Having friends and a family + combining it with fun and a fairly succesfull carreer could be very fulfilling. Being good at things can be fulfilling. This could be a sport, games, human relationships etc...

For me (and I still kinda believe this) games give me the opportunity to do a lot of different stuff in the calm environment of my home/chair. I can start a new life, I can be the best football player, I can be a criminal, I can be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, I could run an amusement part, I can be a sports manager, a game developer, just about anything just from my chair. Am I actually being those things? No offcourse not, lets not act silly. But it gives a nice feeling nonetheless and I feel virtual experiences can be just as satisfying as real life experiences.

That being said, real life experiences are more important, but only to the level where your life becomes fulfilling, and sometimes it just doesn't take much to feel fulfilment.

Like I said, I still believe this is pretty accurate for me. The reason I wanted to quit games is because my priorities were shifting too much towards the internet and doing  stuff that isn't meaningfull (mindless browsing)

 

Social saturday

I took a break .. read about my concert in the post above. It's lazy saturday ... I already typed too much for a lazy day! :D

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Days without gaming: 19

Craving: 7/10 was actually thinking a lot about games. Washed my car instead ... Gave myself a pat on the back

Social: 1/10 didnt feel like being social

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 14/50 (+3)
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 22/100 (+3%) 
  • Exercise: 1/16 (+0, I wanted a lazy day, I got a lazy day)
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 0/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

 

 

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Edited by UndRt0w
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Don't feel bad Cam .. it actually took me over a year ... lol :-D

 

Days without gaming: 20

Craving: 1/10 on working days, this is so easy

Social: 7/10 told some stories to coworkers, don't usually do this

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 15/50 (+1)
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 24/100 (+2%) 
  • Exercise: 1/16 (+0, soooo tired today. I need to step it up if I want to complete this challenge.. 15 workouts in 31 days .. I think I already failed tbh. I don't want to work out 1 in 2 days)
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 0/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

Grateful monday

- My job: felt extremely tired and I can decrease/increase my workload as I feel as long as i can finish my work (which I can)

- My upcoming days off from work (even though I like my job) .. counting down. Still need to go strong for a month

- My social life in the last few weeks .. it's going better and better

- The sandwich I ate at noon .. DAMN soooo delicious

- Having a comfy bed. Rule 1, never underestimate the power of the comfy bed

- Training shorts .. Rule 2 never underestimate the power of comfy trainingshorts!

- Friends n stuff .. yaaay

- Free guitar videos on youtube .. entertaining and educational <3

- Tooth brushes .. gotta have tooth brushes man. DId you ever think about not having tooth brushes?Dammmn life would look a lot uglier!

- Cleaning ladies .. I respect them, I really do.

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Just watched the video about 'consuming' that Cam made .. For me personally I believe this was one of the best videos I saw him make. Really liked the content and now I obviously have to do something with it.

I will start making my own music from now on. First I need to complete my challenge and then I'll start making my own music and start sharing it with the world. Starting new projects and stuff like that. It's just for fun, but it's also creating and it will allow me to learn new stuff!

Great video @Cam Adair

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Just watched the video about 'consuming' that Cam made .. For me personally I believe this was one of the best videos I saw him make. Really liked the content and now I obviously have to do something with it.

I will start making my own music from now on. First I need to complete my challenge and then I'll start making my own music and start sharing it with the world. Starting new projects and stuff like that. It's just for fun, but it's also creating and it will allow me to learn new stuff!

Great video @Cam Adair

I agree with this. Very insightful video. Personally I find myself looking at so much self-help I get overwhlemed with all the information and trying to connect the dots into one big "how to live life" mental collection, like I'm chasing some feeling of complete preparation or something. And I definitely feel as if I hear a lot of the same advice nowadays, since I've been reading up on these things for years. I need to just take action and start building momentum towards my goals.

Edited by JSmith
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Days without gaming: 21

Craving: 3/10 on working days, this is so easy

Social: 1/10 worked at home. Didn't want to have lot of social contact so I didnt

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 17/50 (+2)
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 25/100 (+1%) 
  • Exercise: 1/16 (+0)
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 0/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None
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Days without gaming: 21

Craving: 3/10 on working days, this is so easy

Social: 1/10 worked at home. Didn't want to have lot of social contact so I didnt

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 17/50 (+2)
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 25/100 (+1%) 
  • Exercise: 1/16 (+0)
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 0/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

Love the goals and challenge, and your long term goals. Good luck, stay strong man. 

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Thanks @LilChenChen !

 

Days without gaming: 24

Craving: 1/10 didn't have time to think about games. Felt a bit tired then thought about it. Then forgot about being tired

Social: 9/10 talked on the train to a stranger, talked a lot at work, was really smoot at a stoor against the cashier, family visted, instead of locking me into my room I had a  chat with them. Then talked to a handyman who's fixing stuff in my house. I  was a social beasst today.

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 20.5/50 (+3.5) Almost halfway after 2 weeks. Should get a lot of practise in sunday. Tomorrow will be harder but I'm aiming towards 2 hours.
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 26/100 (+1%) Need to step it up !
  • Exercise: 2/16 (+1) Technically didn't really exercise but instead of taking the car to some place I ran. My legs were really tired since I was wearing normal clothes. Since this goal is so hard for me it's time to aim a little higher at what I consider exercise.
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 0/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None
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Days without gaming: 26

Craving: 3/10 Missed it a bit today. Especially tight now. The day feels finished, so it would be a nice time to play a game. But I can't.. Which isn't really a big problem. I really believe I don't have a gaming addiction after all (which is good). I also believe I did have an internet addiction and a Twitch addiction. Both are really going better

Social: 5/10 Well it's sunday. I don't want to be too social on sunday. What I have noticed though is that I'm having much more social contact with my family. Also yesterday I went to a party (birthday of a coworker) and I didn't feel annoyed I had to go .. which is surprising since I don't really like parties a lot. I also wasn't really worried about going alone.

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 25/50 (+4+0.5)  Since I'm only 0.5hour from being halfway I'll do an extra 0.5 hour today.
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 28/100 (+2%) Need to step it up !
  • Exercise: 2/16 (+0) 
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 0/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

 

Truthfull thurday .. errr sunday?

I don't really have a story in my head right now. I do remember feeling really busy and annoyed because I wanted to finish everything as fast as possible so I could do useless things on the internet of play games though. So I'd say I was busy while I really wasn't that busy (even though I believed I was busy)

I'm failing on goals

Exercising, Cycling , Online course and Cooking are failing. I need to step it up a bit I guess (even though I haven't been bored, which was the reason I did this challenge in the first place).

Exercising

I will start by applying some principles from 'the slight edge'. Every day I will work out. I will not follow my regular schedule. I will just do 1 exercise and do 5 sets (2 warm-up and 3 real sets with only 5 repetitions).

Monday: Squats, Tuesday: Bench Press, Wednesday: Barbarian Deadlift, Thursday Overhead Press, Friday: Squats; Saturday: Bench Press, Sunday: Barbarian Deadlift, ...

It's time to make this a positive story again! I can do these 'workouts' even when I really don't feel like it. It will only take 10-15 minutes I guess. I hope it will help my build good habits again!

Cycling

First step: I need to make sure my bicycle is ready to ride. So let's do that next week. Riding 100 km is easy enough. I still have time.

Online course

Meh I really don't feel like doing this, but in a way I do! I will keep it for the weekend though and this weekend has been pretty busy so l'm not going to take a special action here yet.

Cooking

Same as online course.

 

 

NEW GOAL

Something I wanted to do for a long time .. but I didn't because of twitch (this could have been the truthfull thursday story as well)

I want to wake up fairly early again. I had a time last year where I would wake up at 5 am every day (let me tell you, it feels pretty awesome when you're used to it)

 Atm I'm waking up at 7:30 am. I have to get ready for work at 8 am. So It would be pretty cool if I could work my way 'down' to waking up at 6:00 am or something. In the morning I would have time to work on my guitar technique, do my meditation and a small workout BEFORE I leave for work .. Best feeling in the world to work towards your own goals before you have to go to work.

How to achieve it?

Well this week I have to work fairly late so waking up at 7:30 am will be hard enough. What I will work on is building a good evening routine.

- 10 pm, shut of electronics and start reading

- 10.30 pm brush teeth and go to bed

- 10.45 pm use the headspace sleep exercise to relax

Also it's ideal to build a really small morning routine already

- meditate for 10 minutes


If I get to bed in time I may even try to wake up at 7 am .. we'll see. I'm aiming for 8 hours of sleep.

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Days without gaming: 26 (update from yesterday)

Craving: 2/10

Social: 2/10 (worked at home)

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 26.75 /50 (1.75)  Since I'm only 0.5hour from being halfway I'll do an extra 0.5 hour today.
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 30/100 (+2%) Need to step it up !
  • Exercise: 3/16 (+1) 
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 1.2/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

 

 

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Days without gaming: 28 (update from yesterday)

Craving: 2/10

Social: 7/10 

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 29.25 /50 (+2.5)
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 32/100 (+2%) Need to step it up !
  • Exercise: 4/16 (+1) I didn't do anything today. I don't really have a good excuse. Tomorrow is another day
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 1.2/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

 

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Days without gaming: 29

Craving: 2/10

Social: 7/10 

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 30.50 /50 (+1.25)
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 32/100 (+2%) Need to step it up !
  • Exercise: 4/16 (+1) I didn't do anything today. I don't really have a good excuse. 
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 1.2/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None

Well it wasn't exactly a killed day but I had fun!

I need to step up my game though. Tomorrow I will exercise, no excuses, I will read and will play guitar a ton.

If the weather is nice I'll go to the forest and maybe do some cycling. I should also start meditating again. I'm skipping it way too much.


May do a new analysis again about my goals since the deadline is coming closer

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Days without gaming: 29

Craving: 6/10

Social: 5/10 

 

GOALS

Main Challenge : Guitar

  • GUITAR: 33.50 /50 (+3)
  • REWARD: Buy a Fender Stratocaster American Standard (I was planning to do this anyway, but making a challenge out of it is better!)

Challenge 2: Do productive stuff n things n such

  • READ: 34/100 (+2%) Need to step it up !
  • Exercise: 4/16 (+1) I didn't do anything today. I don't really have a good excuse. 
  • REWARD: None

Challenge 3: Explore new things and areas

  • Cooking 0/5
  • Cycling: 1.2/100 km
  • Enroll in the online positive psychology course and follow the planned lessons (enrolled, didn't watch any lessons yet since it start in a week)
  • Go to the blues bar at least once
  • Go to the David Gilmour concert
  • Go to the coffee shop at least once
  • Go to the forest at least once
  • Get to know 1 new person, doesn't necessarily have to become a friend
  • REWARD: None
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