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Stercus accidit, 29 May 2016
Posted 11 Aug 2016
Way to go! Awesome update.
Nice that things are going wellout for you. Keep doing what your doing, it obviously works!
Posted 2 Sep 2016
Day 96Well, I didn't even realize. 90 days detox is over I am slowly coming back to normal day schedule after the most amazing 2 months of my life, seriously everything went so well. I met amazing people, anywhere I went. I can say I feel happy and proud of myself. However the real challenge is to "win" this school year. I have a couple of goals. School:- study, study and study, but study in a smart way- prepare for SATs and chemistry national olympiad
workout;- just keep doing that- follow the diet
house:- keep apartment clean and neat, especially my room
Internet- cut down time I spend on doing nothing
Books:- come back to reading tons of books
I think that's it for now
Posted 3 Sep 2016
Posted 17 March
Hmm... Something went wrong. I've been playing games again since October. However, I am getting more things done since my detox ended. How did this happen? I got myself into the trap, I broke my rule, to not tell anyone how good I was at some games. Since then... one big downfall.I honestly don't know what to think about this....
I also separated myself from everything connected with game quitters and people who tried to help me. I am sorry if you read this...
I think it will stay tough to keep the gaming addiction behind you, even though you've finished the 90-days detox. Atleast you are getting more things done, which you should also see as a victory.
For me it was a long way to go from gaming addiction, to gaming in moderation. That also went good for quite some time, but the last few weeks, I was affraid of relapsing. So I just decided not to game for atleast a week. Try that, maybe it will get you on the right track again. And don't feel bad about relapsing, it is hard to get rid of an addiction, not even mentioning how hard it is to make it stay away. It is a good thing that you start writing in your journal again, see it as a first step.
Congrats on the 90 days. If you say that you are getting more things done with gaming, then gaming in moderation is okay for you?
It's your call whether you want to quit gaming again. Even if you decided to continue gaming, I will still be interested in reading your journal.
Posted 18 March
Thanks for the response. I wish the only problem in my life rn was gaming addiction. At this very moment I am struggling to push myself into take control of all the mess that is around me. It may sound... stupid? I don't know. There are many things, very important things, that have to be done but it requires me to leave my comfort zone (which got even smaller since I have come to USA). There are periods of time when I control everything and then there are times like this. Reasonably speaking there is no time to play games. I drives me nuts. I am totally aware of it and yet I only do them right before the "deadline". Srsly fk me.
It doesn't sound stupid, or I should callk myself stupid too, as I am going through the same things. I also need to get out of my comfortzone, and am doing so step by step, but it is a hard thing to do.
Posted 20 March
My thoughts about starting my "fight", again, are getting stronger.let's see how it goesGoal:short-term:clean my roomlong term:practice my English every day - by this I mean - actual notes and usage of learning techniques
Posted 22 March
It is Wednesday. I haven't cleaned my room yet.
Good thing is that I keep more or less to my long term goal: English practice
My sleeping schedule is messed up completely.Good thing that coffee is letting me function normally during school.
Problem with my goals starts as soon as I enter my apartment. My will to do something disappears. I still think about "changing environment" when I study, for example: studying at library.
This time when I come home I will drink one more coffee to fight exhaustion. Do basic laundry to have something fresh to wear. I guess while waiting for laundry I can take a nap.
Goals for today:
Clean my room, do laundry, do homework, study for history and chemistry.
Physics work sheet, chemistry lab, English project,
I will also block every website that I don't need until I am not done.
Let's hope everything will work today
Posted 28 March
I have always had a problem with continuing something that I started. It is kind of like a fear of commitment. Also, I expect to see the results immediately. Of course, I know it doesn't work that way. But this puts me down. Makes me escape to the electronic world. I have moments when I feel enough strength to start committing myself to a new goal. As strong it is as weak it becomes after a while. In the end, I make a small progress. Not always, but if I do it is temporary. Putting an end to playing games didn't help. I was distracted, and an unclear path I had with my goals bothered me a lot. I was looking to make everything straight, but I couldn't. This uncertainty is always somewhere in my head. I am sick of it. I hate being unsure, though it is unavoidable. New big changes are coming to my life.Meanwhile, I am sitting numb, doing nothing to make them more clear and appealing. Instead of choices I still have the possibilities that can become real "if" I move my ass.
I went to a hairdresser today. Nothing special huh? Well... It was my first time not going to polish hairdresser. I had to explain what I want in English. After living here for 1.5 of a year, I think it was finally a time to do that. Don't you think so?
Today my mood is mostly positive even though the weather has been gloomy for the last four days. I have a lot of energy at 6 pm which is unusual. I hope I can get some things done in the evening.
Posted 30 March
I have played way too much today. I wanted to do a couple of things, but I ended up playing. I will try to clean my room right now maybe this time it will be done in 100%. During that, I will play some good podcast. Either Brian Cox's or Michio Kaku's. I could also play some Chemistry courses.A plan to start working out is in my head for a long time (a couple of months maybe). Of course, I haven't started yet.
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