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Overcoming Insecurity

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Posted

It seems that in social interactions, power and hierarchy dynamics are so quietly hidden under the surface. Insecurity is directly linked to this mammalian hierarchical programming that we all have. We all have things to feel insecure about on some level. I'm starting to think that a way to free yourself from a sense of insecurity is simply not to take things too seriously. The smaller things look to you, the larger you will look to everyone else. So what if you wasted years of your life on video games. You have the power to not give someone else's judgement power over you. When they see this lack of impact from whatever insinuations they might make, they'll be disarmed.

Not making a big deal, not getting emotional, staying calm and confident in the face of challenge is about recognizing that the worst that can happen isn't the end of the world. It's also about recognizing that your flaws are just there and why really give a shit anyways. It's a waste of time giving a shit about things that don't matter - giving power to things that are insignificant.

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Posted

Totally agree on the fact of not taking all things to seriously. I see a lot of people who take the smallest things way to serious and get all negative and worked up about it. I think it can defenitely help to be calm and confident this way. On the other hand there will always be small things that are more serious for you than other people. But this shouldn't be a problem if you just use thoughts like "I can only do my best and I know that it's important for me, but I'm glad I just tried and went for it"

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Posted

Same. I was super insecure in middle and high school, so much so that is was almost debilitating. I wasn't one of the cool kids, but I tried to be - I tried to wear different clothes, different shoes, even a different way of walking. When I got to college most of that insecurity disappeared since I was able to start fresh with people I hadn't been in school with since kindergarten. What I've learned that works best, for me, is "fake it till you make it". Act confident even if you don't feel like it, and pretty soon you actually will feel confident. Recognize all the things you can't change about yourself and accept that you'll have to live with them, but also recognize the things you can change, and tackle them head on.

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Posted (edited)

It seems that in social interactions, power and hierarchy dynamics are so quietly hidden under the surface. Insecurity is directly linked to this mammalian hierarchical programming that we all have. We all have things to feel insecure about on some level. I'm starting to think that a way to free yourself from a sense of insecurity is simply not to take things too seriously. The smaller things look to you, the larger you will look to everyone else. So what if you wasted years of your life on video games. You have the power to not give someone else's judgement power over you. When they see this lack of impact from whatever insinuations they might make, they'll be disarmed.

Not making a big deal, not getting emotional, staying calm and confident in the face of challenge is about recognizing that the worst that can happen isn't the end of the world. It's also about recognizing that your flaws are just there and why really give a shit anyways. It's a waste of time giving a shit about things that don't matter - giving power to things that are insignificant.

You are spot on.

The insecurities are imposed from the outside.As kids we were super confident.We were running around with messed up hear, buck naked with mud all over our faces , we would look people straight in the eyes without fear and basically do w/e we wanted.0 f*cks were given those days.

I consider the time I spent gaming as a challange and a gift.HaD I not been a game addict for so long maybe I wouldnt have the opportunity to see these dynamics you mentioned in your text and rise above them,I'd probably keep going with the flow.

I believe I was "enslaved" into gaming (with no one but myself to blame ofcourse) but this experience is now leading me to explore knowledge and freedom to new extents.

I doubt I'd bother to think my life through ,what do I want , where do I want to go and where I am really going had it not been for my gaming habits.

So this challenge was really a gift in disguise!

Edited by addict10n
grammar

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Posted

As someone who had Severe agoraphobia and anger issues, I realised the only way I could triumph over them was to just say screw it! What will be will be and that's it.

I would say "bring it world, what will be, will be!" every panic attack, every morning, every day and eventually my panic attacks subsided and I grew confident within myself.

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Posted (edited)

You guys highlighted great points. I'd like to mention that insecurity is also a great occasion to further analyse ourselves and our feelings and determine what we want for our future.

Before when we felt insecure, most of us would go play a game to feel better. Though it might not be possible anymore, this is not bad in itself because now we have the chance to truly understand who we are at a core level.

And as mentionned above it is important not to take all that stuff too seriously and not dwell on te negative stuff too much.

After all, we're all going to die in the end.

Edited by Simon
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Posted

I find the best approach is to realise that everybody is too busy caring about themselves and their own appearance to care about you. Just think back to something embarrassing you did a while ago that nobody talks about anymore and you will be surprised about how recent it was. Also try to remember something that may have potentially embarrassed one of your friends and think about how many shits you could give! What you will also realise is that you have been doing embarrassing things all the time in your life and you always will be. They only have value because you choose to attribute value to them because of self hate and being overly critical of yourself. I like to try and live in the present and every time I remember the past I say- "nobody cares or needs to care! fuck the past!". I don't think it's a good idea to throw yourself into the social deep end straight away though (like sitting with the popular kids at lunch) because it is highly likely you will get rejected and it will just be awkward- doesn't matter how confident you are. Whether you are rejected or not depends on the group's preconceived opinion of you and their default disposition to you based on what they deem is socially comfortable to express amongst their peers. You don't need to be a social god. This is why when I go on summer camp or something I get along with everyone but when I'm back at school I'm slotted back into my social group. I let people approach me when they do and if they choose to acknowledge me I make as active of a conversation as I can.

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