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Wolf

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Everything posted by Wolf

  1. Wolf

    Possible Relapse

    My main goals right now is work. Primarily. I do want to get into GJJ, and trade school but at the moment I am limited with no vehicle. atm, I am just working, and it's frozen outside, i don't have much else to do aside from chill. Video games though is a way for me to just kick back and enjoy myself, and to honest, i miss it.
  2. Wolf

    Possible Relapse

    http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/3227-my-official-journal-ben-w/?page=2
  3. Wolf

    Possible Relapse

    I just enjoy gaming, that's why i want to play games again. That's why i feel like that. Not to mention, I work regularly now, and that's just a really good way to wind down for me, and I miss it. I miss the stories and adventures, I miss the characters and classicness of it all.
  4. Wolf

    Possible Relapse

    I don't know man. I've been really tempted to go back to gaming, if not at least moderately. I don't know what words to put to this, but all I know is i feel like playing games. That's all.
  5. God, I can still remember the last time when I had to barricade my door to keep Cam out. xD Why did you follow the white rabbit? Beautiful. Oh yea lol. Cam's really someone you wanna look out the windows for.
  6. Hello Toad. First off: No one is forced into ANYTHING here. And there are no "aggressive techniques", only progressive and attentive ones to quit gaming and help gamers who want to quit gaming, quit successfully and begin change in their life. This website is for people who want to quit gaming, or are curious or interested in doing so, so you being here otherwise makes no sense, especially if you're just going to spew garbage on a system built for quitting video games, and saying things like "feel free to hate the community". I don't think you realize that you just walked INTO a community, where there are a whole group of people backing this community and the things within it, nobody here is hating this community aside from you, so you sir are certainly walking into this situation completely unaware and blinded to these facts apparently. Also quitting cigarettes and quitting video games are two different things entirely, one is psychological and the other is an actual addiction to a substance, Nicotine, however I will mention too that you can quit cigarettes cold turkey, many people have, despite what the "doctor" says. And the same thing for video games, actually quitting and deleting all my games was my decision(which I do not regret, but was a choice that really freed me from going backwards), not Cam Adair's so called "aggressive techniques", he simply inspired change in my life. Cam shows compassion and love, and deals with this community as such, he has inspired many more people than myself, and from what I've seen people who have followed Cam's advice are living happier lives(myself included). Nothing here is forced onto anyone, and anyone who wants to play games again or not quit games very well can. Cam does not get everybody's addresses and phone numbers and harass them all day long to keep them from playing video games. He's not hiding on the ceiling in my living room holding a police baton ready to take me out if I walk in the room and start playing some games. He's not investigating where all my money is spent, and how much time I spend wherever I do in my life. I think you get the point. Before making a statement such as yours, step back and ask yourself, "are my observations even true?" because they were all false. You are welcome to leave, or stay, quit gaming or not. That is all up to you sir. Will you choose the red pill, or the blue pill? Will you enter the matrix, or choose to leave it? You decide.
  7. Day 11. The struggle continues. I've been pretty lazy here lately, I haven't been taking my cold showers, or working out, or even reading much at all. I hope to get back into all of that very soon. The lice issue continues, but I'm fixing to treat very soon again. Work was nice, not nearly as busy and I'm fixing to get into a motion of things I think. I'm not too sure what to type aside from those things. As for cravings, not many, well i guess not right now, last night I did watch some PSVR gameplay but I didn't have an urge really to play anything(if I did it wasn't very strong), although it looked fun. I failed at no fap recently, which I'm ashamed and regretful of, I hate waking up from sexual dreams..ug. Recently I've been more tempted to watch longboarding/skateboarding videos and various YT videos, and just surfing the web brainlessly. I don't enjoy doing this, it's nice for a little while to watch some Netflix or something to just chill but I really have to get outta that habit of just sitting there for 2-3 hours on the computer. I've really been wanting to go longboarding but it's bitter cold outside(which wouldn't bother me much) as well as about a foot+ of snow. Why!? That's one thing I've really been wanting to do as It's sort of a hobby of mine, so I'm kinda disappointed about that. Anyways, i need to get off of here. Bye! End of #11 Journal Entry.
  8. Thank you for the wishes. Yea, I've been a pretty common head shaver myself but most of the time I have someone else shave it, as I don't have my own shaver. I put olive oil on my head last night, and wrapped it with saran wrap, I think most of them are dead, but I will continue to treat for about a week or so.
  9. Day 10. Sorry I didn't get to type day 9 journal unfortunately. I spent most of the day after work trying to deal with the lice issue. I'm tormented by these things, seriously, like tormented. And on top of it I'm trying to work a job(worried I might spread that at my workplace is even scarier), and the job is tough, I really have to learn how to go fast and act on my own. I'm trying to hold it together over here as much as possible. I'm really having a tough time over here, even just trying to think clearly and not be stressed out is difficult. I don't really know what to do, not only all that stuff but I'm having a tough time with the place I am currently staying at, away from where I've been living for so long in this new place, trying to work a job and then contracting one of the most annoying scary things(aside from cancer, and STDs and other stuff i guess lol), I need to pay rent so I can't really just quit my job as I'm broke. Things have been taking a severe turn for the worst after the job started, I feel like God is telling me to basically hold on and things will be better, I'll be stronger after this and I just have to keep faith and keep moving forward. To others this may not seem like such a big deal, but lice are really a big issue because It's not easy to get rid of them. I've spent about 30 dollars(emphasis on broke) now in total on these things trying to kill them and I still have them. Ug. Maybe this is all just complaining and I shouldn't be typing about this anyways. As for playing video games, you can imagine it has been difficult since my circumstances have caused me immense stress and lack of sleep. I've been tempted a lot lately, I even had dreams about playing video games, but I'm holding on as hard as I can(my Steam account is cancelled anyways, it took me being quite blunt and rather rude too to even get them to shut it down, which I am not proud of), I know going back to playing video games seems fun and like a stress reliever to take my mind off of my present issues, but they will do nothing but that, help me to take my mind off the issue, they won't fix my problem and playing games certainly won't get my mind straight. If anybody prays here, please do because I am having a very troubling time right now. I'm done.
  10. True. I can always learn something else. I'm 19, I'll be 20 in June. Thanks for the advice man. But I'm still thinking this one out.
  11. It went well. I only messed up about two times, or three haha. I work tomorrow too, and I think it will only be a matter of time and I should be settled in.
  12. Ty brother! I am happy too! Fire is indeed burning in this life for me right now, and I hope it never burns out!
  13. Day 8. Unfortunately I guess the Day 7 journal didn't get posted, or somehow got deleted. Whoops lol.(Or I guess I there's another page lol) Today was my first day at the new job. It went pretty well I'd say. It can only get easier from here right? Hopefully, but as along as I apply myself I believe I can succeed at anything, or most things lol. As for progression in my life without video games, I haven't had many cravings at all really, except on day 6 which is a blessing. With my faith restored in Jesus, and my mind focused on the right things(God, study, good things, life without games)I can honestly say my life is more full and rich with video games out of my life. I thank God for everything I'm being blessed with here, and the change taking place in my life daily. God has blessed me with a trade school I can attend in the upcoming fall(hopes), a beautiful Bethel church, and job paying 10.00 dollars an hour, and just peace in life. I don't even want to return to video games, honestly I just want to forget about them, but I know I have to remember how miserable and empty that life was, it was like a slow death, like slow drowning or something, no.. it's closer to dying while your asleep because you're numb to the life around you, numb to people around you, numb to love, numb to what is truly reality. If I ever have a kid(which I hope to one day, hopefully a son) I'm going to teach him why videogames are not as fun as they seem, and in turn not let him play them of course. I'll try to teach him true meaning in life, love, and purpose, what life is really about and it certainly isn't about having the maximized fun you can have when you have no responsibility aside from school or work. There is more to understand, see, touch, taste, do, and experience here in this beautiful place we are given to live in than a reality that is not truly a reality, but rather a lie, a false reality. Yea. Life is beautiful by it's self, well, I realize now I like life just the way I like my coffee, by itself(well lol, I like Starbucks too), without all these other artificial "lives". Maybe I should take one step back, and just say I prefer real sugar instead of Splenda. Anyways I hope you all have a beautiful night!(oh yea can we get more emojis?lol) Bye!
  14. Day 7. Wow. Today will have made it a week solid of no games. I feel more happy, and at peace with where I am at now without video games, and with my Faith restored in Jesus than where I was with video games. I feel more lively, and full of energy ready to live life more head on. Life seems to be really beginning to pick up for me, of course all glory I give to God, I can see His hand in everything. With being given a new place to stay, given a new church to go to that is free of legalism, being given a new job that pays $10.00 an hour, and a school that I can attend to learn some sort of good paying skilled trade. All of that certainly shows me God is working in my life tremendously, it's hard to see all of that when I am filled with depression and video games. As for today I didn't do much, I spent time attending to the possible lice issue again, studying, and soon(however a late start it was)I hope to read more, but first eat some dinner and exercise. Tomorrow is my first day at my new job, and I'm only trying to stay positive lol. I'm hungry so I'm gonna cut this one short, and I don't really know what else to type for today haha. Ta-Ta For Now!
  15. True. Ty man! That is unrealistic lol.
  16. So. My first day at Subway tomorrow is at 11am. And I am really really nervous. They told me there is a 3 week training period and that if things don't work out after that time is up, they can just let me go. So i'm just really anxiety-ing out over here. First time i've worked in a sort of fast food business. Has anyone here worked at Subway? Any tips on how to not freak out and be top possible performance at my first day of work? Thanks. I really need some convo about this lol because it's just piling up in there.
  17. True. I love the idea of a coffee shop, but I don't have a car so it isn't very worthwhile.
  18. Lol. Thanks though whether your opinion was biased or not. But I'm still unsure of what I will do lol. They all have good qualities about them, become a electrician for good pay, auto body technician is the same pretty much(really good pay in fact), and auto mechanic, not so sharp on pay but it does interest me.
  19. Day 6. Last night I had extreme cravings to play games, I was sitting at my computer fixing to download a game or something, but I think Steam making me reinstall it kept me from going through it and actually doing it. I ended up coming across some videos that sort of averted my attention, and encouraged me, and by that time I was like "Meh, I don't feel like it". Me being so tired might have also had something to do with it lol. Also, I got the job! I am super psyched! It will be my second REAL job. Well I did work at Kmart before but I don't really count it, it was so long ago. But anyways, this job is awesome because I'll be getting payed 10.00 an hour, which is great compared to my 7.50 from my last job. Cannot wait!! I'm excited actually, and I'm ready to be busy and make some money too. And I might have lice. Which sucks. But it's not because I'm super dirty or anything, I try to stay pretty clean, as you can see in my photo. I think I got it from staying at a certain house, which is unfortunate. I guess that's what I get lol. I bought a $20 lice kit, and I still didn't really find much aside from tons of dandruff(which is from the cold temperatures I think), I did see some small little white specks on my PC headphones, which kinda makes me think I do. I also have a hard time sleeping as I itch alot when I'm sleeping, and I feel like somethings crawling on me sometimes too. But I'm hoping it's just hair doing it's thing. Really hoping I don't have lice because I think me treating them was a poor attempt since I did it myself, despite the $20 kit. However, in hopes that it's just dry scalp, I bought some Head & Shoulders and I really hope it solves the issue because this is going to suck tremendously if I have lice. Aside from that I didn't work out today due to what is written above^, but I did get a good morning breakfast in, biscuits and gravy, coffee, a banana, and plenty of water. But yea, that's pretty much my life for the past day and a half. Pleasant isn't it? Lol. Seriously though this lice thing is driving me absolutely insane in the membrane. Ta-Ta for now!
  20. Day 5. So I missed a day in the journal yesterday. Mainly because by the time I got back home from shopping I was just exhausted. I walked all the way from the store with groceries as I have no car. It sucked. When I got home I cooked pizza, and watched "Stranger Things" for about 3-4 hours(slipped up a bit in that aspect), by the time I realized I should stop watching this now I was pretty exhausted and finished the night with some thinking and reading. Today I went to a job interview. I'm pretty sure I've got it in the bag, and they should be calling me back tomorrow. Ooh yea! I got this cool fitness ball too. Fill it with air and do crunches and such, or just sit on it lol. I tend to do that more than exercise with it so far. I really want to read today too. Currently I'm reading two different books, on top of the Bible also. I definitely have my work cut out for me. As for Cravings, not much really. I've enjoyed occasionally watching my brother play a boxing game, but as for playing it I haven't really been "craving" to do so. I have been trying to keep my mind focused on things. Although I don't really have a lot of activities filling my day. Exercise, reading, and thinking take up most of my time, also surfing the web now and then, sometimes I just have to make myself get away from the computer because I know I'm spending too much time on it. I certainly feel more clear headed and energized now that video games don't consume 3/4ths of my time. I am indeed enjoying this side of living, and I don't intend on backing down from it. I do believe my focus on God is helping me in this process as there is a lot to consider and ponder, and I now have a sense of well-being which helps me stay calm and collect. And time seems to be slower too, or maybe it doesn't I don't really know, in this moment considering time I feel like it is slow but on my second or third day it seemed that it was flying. Anyways I am just rambling now. Bye!
  21. There are soo many options right now going through my head concerning what I wanna go to school for. Is there anybody here that has had experience in any trades? Because I'm trying to make up my mind. I'm thinking of either becoming an electrician, auto mechanic, or auto body technician. It's really a hard decision. I kind of think that the mechanic body stuff will be too difficult, but that's just negative thinking as I know I can do anything I set my mind to. I like the electrician idea as it will pay well, and from what I've seen not super difficult.(but what do I know)The thing though that peaks my interest is the auto mechanic trade, it seems like that would be really fun, tinkering and such, but I know really all these jobs are going to be hard, and that's alright, it's work. But I'm wondering if anyone here has any experience or could maybe aid me in coming to a conclusion. Thanks.
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