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Zane

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About Zane

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    Veteran
  • Birthday 09/30/1996

Zane's Activity

  1. Zane added a post in a topic Zane's New Journal   

    So it's been about a month since i quit video games. First of all, this may be the longest I've gone without playing video games in many years. Perhaps not quite yet but I am close to that target, Unlike previously, I don't have a calling, or an urge to play any specific game. The strategy game called to me very strongly 1.5 years ago but now I'm not called to any game. Also, I'm goddam committed to this. And part of it is that i dont have time to play. Currently I have an extremely difficult situation im in, due to the mistakes i made in 2016 when i dropped out of school. I have a alot of hard work ahead of me. One of the critical things for me right now is I need to learn to budget effectively. Day 2 of the 30 Day challenge asks for me to develop a project for myself. The single best idea i have for a project is controlling my time and money management. For some people this might be second nature, but for me, I've not had alot of structure in a LONG time. But for the next 6 months I intend to make the most out of my time and money. This will include schedules, budgets, savings, and very clear plans. This will be a challenge, because I totally lack time management skills. I purchased a whiteboard to start/ have a notebook prepared. Funny thing is i purchased a whiteboard last time i did this but somehow it got lost, even though it was a damn big whiteboard, hahaha. Does anyone have tips on how to get started with time management planning and budgeting?
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  2. Zane added a post in a topic Zane's New Journal   

    Alright I'll do the 30 day challenge I guess. I never finished it! So I've been reading it through a second time. Good stuff. Hey Cam, have you updated the 30 Day Challenge? My copy is over a year old.
    Write a letter to yourself about how you're currently feeling and why it's important to you to move on from games. Why do you want to make this change in your life?
    Video games are addictive and for years I have given in to the instant gratification that they offer. However, I am finally ready to move on, cutting out games entirely. This was made possible thanks to new direction, new healthier addictions, and new goals. On the surface it seems strange because unlike previously I now have to work for a living, and yet that grind has helped fuel the motivation and momentum to succeed. I feel like  have more options now than ever before. Quitting video games was the next logical step in my situation. I want more time to pursue my goals, and that means casting the games aside. I didn't even plan this as a new years resolution, but given that the year has just begun, I think I have a great opportunity to say that 2017 was the year my life took off
    Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you.
    This is an interesting question. I haven't thought of it much. My answer now is certainly different than it was last time. There are different people in my life. I know that my family respects me a lot more than ever, given that I support myself, and when I visit, I conduct myself as one who is in control, reasonably confident, and positive. The drama of years past is almost completely wiped, and I'm far more at peace with the new status quo. Later this month I intend to return to school, at a new school, to meet new people, learn new things. For now, I have my coworkers who are the largest part of my social life. I think that for the most part they perceive me as hardworking, friendly, and reliable. I am also known to be brutally honest, which my coworkers have told me on several occasions. This was news to me; it was never something I perceived of myself. Some of them really appreciate the honesty and others find it less appropriate. Of course, professionality is always maintained on the job. I am also told frequently that I have done well to improve myself over time, and this is gratifying to hear.
    Write one or two sentences describing how you'd like to be perceived by others.
    I'd like to be perceived by others as one who is charming, charismatic, physically strong and attractive, emotionally available, and confident. I want to be seen as a leader.
    List three of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change.
    I want to stop wasting time, surfing youtube for entertainment.
    I want to stop allowing my room to become messy and procrastinating cleaning it up/ doing laundry.

    I want to wake up early every day instead of allowing my schedule to shift as frequently as it does. I want more time to enjoy the sun in the morning instead of waking up at noon or later some days and barely feeling the warmth of the sun. I believe the sun is critical to my productivity and happiness during the day.
    Determine how many more days you have left to live
    I'll pass.
     
    There it is Hey guys, is anyone lookingfor a new friend? Friend me!
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  3. Zane added a topic in Daily Journals   

    Zane's New Journal
    Hi guys My last post was 6 months ago. Whaaat. It doesn't feel like that long ago. I have an intro somewhere on here but by now it's a fairly outdated intro. Unfortunately, since I haven't checked the forums in forever, I don't know what has been going on. There are lots of people here! I looked through some posts, but there are too many to read. Would someone be willing to fill me in a little?
    When I was actively posting on the forums, I remember a number of individuals who were very positive and a bit of an inspiration on a daily basis. What held me back from posting a lot in the past was that my life was not going well for me and despite trying very hard, I couldn't find positive things to say. Nobody complained about it, but I felt like a bit of a burden to the community. I felt like I was supposed to be an example in the earlier days but I was not ready to be. My mind was not in the right place. I felt embarrassed about my issues. Well, for the first time, I'm ready to return Everything feels different for me now. Whereas previously I struggled to follow through on any of my promises or resolutions, I feel refreshed, unburdened, and freer.
    As I've described before, I have struggled with video game addiction for a while. Video games had always been addictive for me, and that addiction hit me head on after I moved out of my parents' house. While I did move out, I was drastically unprepared for the transition. I wanted to maintain my standard of living, where I found joy in video games and my ex girlfriend, who loved me and with whom I was deeply in love. However, living with my aunt, my life stagnated. I spent all day playing video games, and every aspect of my life struggled. My relationships sucked, my grades sucked, my self confidence sucked, and I tore myself apart. Losing my girlfriend was the final blow that crippled me for years.
    2015 was the roughest year for me. Every moment I was reminded of my pain, from dawn till dusk. I had bad habits, I didn't sleep, I developed serious acne and depression. But, I was also filled with desperate energy, I felt that I had to change myself, to improve myself. After I came across Cam, I became a part of this community. I hoped that I could solve my problems in a timely fashion. I hoped that all of the advice I heard about working out, meditation, sleep, qutting video games, etc, would fix my problems. However, my attempts at detox failed. I think they failed because I was still in a lot of pain, I couldn't discipline myself into a good schedule providing for adequate sleep, and my bad habits led to a lot of unnecessary stress. The enormous amount of change I wanted to make in my life overwhelmed me. Reading books about having a wonderful life and being successful, made me feel so insufficient that at a certain point I unconsciously decided that I wasn't cut out for any of it.
    The result of my attempted detox led to 2016, where I stopped caring, and devoted myself to perfecting my game in the strategy game I was playing. For the first half of 2016, my life revolved around this game. All the good things I learned in 2015 were brushed away. It's actually kind of embarrassing. It reminds me of Cam when he talks of his great Relapse. I was sure at a certain point that I wouldn't relapse, especially not as hard as I did, but I did.
    During the summer of 2016 I moved out on my own. I remember the first week moving out, I felt that it was something new, and that I would finally quit video games. The external concept of me moving out on my own pressured me into feeling I had to quit video games. But my heart wasn't in it, and I soon relapsed. I didn't want to find a job. I wanted to do what was extremely comfortable. The only thing that made me finally get a job was hunger and rent. You could almost say It was rock bottom. BUT....
    Those basic needs gave me exactly what I needed. Finally, I was forced to come to reality to come up with a plan for survival. And it felt good. The machine finally turned on, and I gained momentum. I got a job at Starbucks. And at first, that was enough. It being my first demanding job, I had to adapt. I had to learn how to work in stressful situations as part of a team. I had to learn how to maintain conversations, employ a constantly positive attitude, and tackle uncomfortable tasks immediately. And for the last  months I've been training myself to work hard, to be productive, to force myself to do unpleasant tasks, to endure pain, and delay gratification. These were things that I had been incapable of doing for the longest time. I was disturbed by what I thought was laziness. I possessed intellect; I knew how things worked, and yet, developing the skills to do those things was another matter entirely.
    So, my job began as a means of survival. And so at first, I was focused on surviving. However, before I knew it, I started feeling satisfaction in my work. I saw improvement. And it became easier. And so, over time I've been phasing in various elements of self development that I had abandoned a year earlier. Whereas previously I had tried to take up everything at once and been disappointed, now I started with one thing at a time. Now mind you, I was STILL playing video games 5-6 days a week. However, those sessions were considerably shorter. And, as I saved up money, I planned my return to weight training. I started eating healthy again and going to the gym. I then started visiting my family frequently again. I went camping. Then, right before Thanksgiving, I had one final relapse, which ended with me very resoundingly deciding that I was ready to quit. I bought software to block games, password protected by a friend. This was in mid December. I haven't played any games since.
    Ever since then, I've been getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night. I've been eating well, working out. I started reading books again. Right now I'm reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People," and I love the book. I've already begun applying what I've learned. For Christmas I asked for a Yoga mat. And just this week I've started taking yoga classes and I love it. Every day I try something new, whether it's a new food, creating a new playlist, trying a new exercise, driving to a new place. I feel freer than I ever have in my life. The pain of my breakup is fading, and I'm planning ahead, months in advance. Today I've brought this new journal so that I can reconnect with this community, because everything has changed. For once, I have positive things to bring to the table. I finally have the state of mind that I so desperately needed last year. I'm growing. And I miss u CAM. TALK TO ME BROTHA
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  4. Zane added a post in a topic My Journal, by Zane   

    Hi everyone, I got a lot to cover, lets get to it
    I'm a little shocked that 2016 is halfway over. This year has been the most unproductive, unsuccessful, year of my life, so far. And it's really shocking that it's over halfway done.
    I met Cam almost two months ago at a coffee shop in San Francisco. I drove there from San Jose. Cam welcomed me and gave me an hour of his time. We chatted about a few things, like Donald Trump, haha. And he gave me lots of good advice. I promised him I would write on the forums again, since it had been so long since my last post. That was two months ago. In the last two months I went on the greatest gaming binge of my life. See, I used to live with my Aunt and cousins in San Jose, however they moved, and I didn't know where to go, so I rented a room in San Jose. In the first week, it was somewhat fun and exciting. Now, I finally would be more of an adult, living on my own, with no supervision, and more freedom. I felt inspired to quit video games and turn around my life for the better. Instead, I hopped on my computer and played strategy games for nearly two months, almost nonstop. This time, it was bad. Piles of food, soda, and beer bottles littered my floor. Ants marched into my room and I hardly cared, Each day I hopped on for another day long session of Age of Empires. I played versus the best players in the world and held my own, and it felt good, and I wanted to beat them. I made friends with streamers and watched my games vs them from their point of view before going to bed, and watched to learn my mistakes, and be entertained. I lost 20 pounds, weighing just 109 lbs as of two weeks ago. When I visited family last weekend they told me I looked starved.
    See, I was supposed to find a job right away to pay for my living. But I was so uninspired to do that. I couldn't even get started on an application, kept telling myself I'll do it tomorrow, today I enjoy life. And when you are skyping with friends and drinking beer and having a bad ass time, why not take just one more day? My bank account ran out, and I had no food, so I ended up mixing protein powder with carbs and powder vegetables and water (essentially, my weight training drink ingredients), and eating almonds for a balanced diet. Funny thing is, I had everything my body needed in that diet, but of course it was disgusting and frighteningly stupid that I still wasn't getting a job. Feeling the pressure, I finally put in time to fill out applications, even though my mind was on video games constantly during the whole process. I had to ask my mom to help me with rent, without sharing the true details of my situation.
    Anyway, just over a week ago, I interviewed at Starbucks and got hired on the spot (I nailed my interview). Around that time I was feeling burnt out from playing my game, after playing nonstop since October 2015. Today, I finished my second day on the job, and already, everything has changed. I enjoy everything about this new job. It's fun, its challenging, its social. It already fulfills some needs that previously could only be filled by video games. Now, I feel inspired again, for the first time in a long time. I have new goals/ am in the progress of developing new goals. I don't desire to play the game anymore, although I still have been playing Halo on my pc for a couple hours each night.
    Throughout this whole time, of course, I have been battling with myself internally. I've wanted to achieve a balance with gaming in my life, not wanting to let go of it entirely. This is partially because my experience in quitting games cold turkey last year was a disaster, where I was left depressed and overwhelmed with anxiety, after seeing almost no growth or progress a month after quitting the games.
    So guys, I'm back, although most of you wont recognize me, since the forum has grown so much in my absence. I'm very proud of Cam for building this community, and grateful that it still sands, for me to return and embrace you all once more. I plan to post regularly again. Love you all. OUT
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  5. Zane added a post in a topic My Journal, by Zane   

    visiting my siblings for a few days  they're so cute

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  6. Zane added a post in a topic My Journal, by Zane   

    Lol one of these days I'm gonna imitate cams profile pic
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  7. Zane added a post in a topic My Journal, by Zane   

    Hi guys
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  8. Zane added a post in a topic Weight Training   

    Exactly. I'm having more trouble with my eating habits than workout habits.
    hey cam, i beat you could reach 150 within a month....
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  9. Zane added a post in a topic Weight Training   

    Thanks Cam!!
    When I first got into weight training earlier this year, I was more concerned with getting bigger/ stronger (bulking up) tha anything else. I wouldn't say it was that I was overly unhappy with my body, but I started focusing on the body because it seemed like something I could fix up/ change, and I definitely needed that. I felt weak and unhealthy (comments from coworkers didn't help) and weight training seemed like the next logical step toward self improvement. Your respawn guide helped me affirm that this could be a goal to work toward to replace unfulfilled needs in my life.
    My early attempts at weight training were thwarted by depression, an expensive court case, video game addiction, and lack of Slight Edge/ habit forming mentality. In early september I picked up where I left off, with a wealth of knowledge. It was surprisingly easy to fall back into a gym routine. I was no longer impatient about results, and I am starting to get hooked on going to the gym. One thing that helped me get hooked might be somewhat surprising. After a hard workout, going to the sauna is very relaxing and feels good. I often use the sauna right after my workout because of this, and rehydrate afterward with coconut water, which tastes delicious if you need electrolytes. Anyway, after reading the Power of Habit, I realized that the sauna was a reward after the workout, and that I could use it to form a habit of going to the gym. It worked out great, and I started being excited about going to the gym, to the point that at random periods of the day I was wishing I was at the gym instead. I'm also working on good nutrition habits; I eat healthy of course, but not as much as I should, yet. 
    Right now I'm really enjoying my workout plan. It starts out with 12-15 reps week 1, and progressively turns heavier with fewer reps until week 4 (3-5 reps), then restarts at the beginning of the month. In this past month I have seen enormous strength gain. A couple days ago, I deadlifted 70 pounds heavier than I did a month ago. That's crazy. Currently, I rotate 4 workouts:
    Chest, Triceps, calves
    Back, biceps, abs
    shoulders, traps/lats, calves
    legs, abs
    and sometimes I swim (Freestyle, butterfly, etc)
    On a leg day, I might do 3-4 sets each:
    Squats
    One leg leg press
    Leg extensions
    Deadlifts
    Hamstring Curls
    Hip thrust machine
    Weighted crunches
    Woodchoppers
    One great thing about this plan is the order of the exercises. I  begin with a complex lift, then use machines to isolate the muscle. 
    Now that I'm getting stronger, I'm enjoying strength training alot more. I can't completely tell if this exercise makes me healthier/ happier, but it seems like maybe it helps.
    Now, my focus is shifting once again, although not entirely. What I mean is, now that I can see what I can do with my box of legos, I want to take my time building a more aesthetically oriented structure. This is where I'm at odds with alot of what I hear or read from others. I hear alot of people say that weight training should be for the health benefits, not for looks. Others say that what matters is strength over bulk/ looks. In fact, I've read alot from Ramit Sethi recently, and Ramit is a big fan of jumping right in and getting things done, without debating minutiae, without waiting to become an expert in the field. His friend, author of NerdFitness, has a similar mentality, and he also says that rather than focusing on looks, one should focus on numbers, and how much strength is gained. And, I can agree with both of them, but I also partially disagree. If strength were what really mattered, then my goal should be to become as strong as possible. But that would mean a shit ton of work, and give me a huge unnattractive bodybulder physique (eww.) Obviously, there is a limit to how strong I really want to be. As to being healthy, yeah, that is awesome, but somehow I don't believe that a huge bodybuilder is necessarily more healthy than a slim athlete. So, yeah, I want to be strong and healthy. But, if I'm gonna be strong and healthy, I might as well focus on aesthetics first, since I will still get there. You can build a strong tower out of randomly colored legos, but if you have the time you might as well find the right colors and put things together with an artistic taste. An emphasis on certain lifts rather than others can allow you to build more lean physiques/ golden ratio/ v shape, for example.
    Wow, that was more in depth than I was intending. lol.
    So, with that in mind, I'll put my goals for weight training in order:
    1. Have a sexy body (duh)-
    2. Be healthier overall
    3. Be stronger
    More specific goals have changed. I'm shooting for: 150 lbs, 12 percent bodyfat, by March 1. (Currently, 128 lbs, 11 percent bodyfat)
    After research based on my height and weight, I realize that my previous goal of 170 lbs might be a little more than I want.
    As to my nutrition, I try to eat 3600 calories per day. At first I thought I could go without counting calories, but that's when I realized that I wasn't eating enough. 3600 calories is alot man. It's alot.
     
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  10. Zane added a post in a topic Weight Training   

    Thanks Cam!
    How long have you been following this plan? How did you find/ develop it? What kind of success have you found with it? 
    What's your diet like (what do you eat and do you count calories or not), and what kind of weight training goals do you have? Are you trying to build muscle, increase strength, focus on aesthetics, or is weight training for you more a means of stress relief and health? I'm sure all of the above sounds good, but what is your main focus?
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  11. Zane added a topic in Fitness & Nutrition   

    Weight Training
      
    • 7 replies
    • 499 views
  12. Zane added a post in a topic My Journal - Joe   

    That's a lot of vitamin D! Hey man, what kind of exercises do you do, specifically? Like, walk me through a typical work out for you, if you don't mind. I'm curious
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  13. Zane added a post in a topic My Journal, by Zane   

     
    I thought I'd post this photo. So here's the explanation. The picture on the left was me in June, about the same time I joined this community. However, during June, July, and August, I pretty much ate junk food and played video games all day. On September 1 I started working out/ eating healthy; here's two and a half months of work

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  14. Zane added a post in a topic My Journal, by Zane   

    Wow,  I can't believe that I haven't made a post in 19 days. That's crazy. This year has been very weird for me; in the past, time went by very slow, and it seemed like a lot happened. Now, time goes by so fast, and nothing is happening.
    I've become terrible at maintaining relationships. Absolutely terrible. I got cards from family for my bday and I didn't respond to any of them. I never talk to old friends, and you guys write posts to me and I never respond.
    I still have bad habits. Now I got one month of school left and I'm not doing so good in my classes. IF I work my ass off the rest of this month, I will do alright (hopefully). Otherwise, my laziness will come to haunt me like it always does.
    Zala, I wanted to respond about our debate, but I've lost interest in the subject now, sorry bout that
    Joe, thank you for your story. I did read it and I should have responded immediately, but I have terrible habits lol. I'm glad you shared it with me. Figuring out your path in life can be rough. I reread part of the Slight Edge recently, and I remembered how he said that we as humans are always falling off course, and usually it takes turmoil to force us to fight for survival. But once we find some comfort, we go back to old habits and start falling again. I would love to believe that things can get better and stay better.
    Thanks to everyone else for your support!
    Cam, and anyone else, I need a little advice. I find myself unable to focus/ work during the times I need to do so. I barely ever do or complete my homework, as has been the case my whole life. How do I get myself to stop looking for a distraction and steel myself to do what needs to be done, every time it needs to be done? How do I sit down and get to task, and finish my assignment, and not let myself be distracted? I have failed countless times.
     
    Ok, so here's what I've accomplished since September 1. I workout most days now, I eat really healthy. I am pursuing weight training as an achievement based activity. I meditate most days now. I've reconnected with my family/ parents I used to live with. Ok, so that's a few decent things.
    However, I don't read at all, or listen to podcasts. Instead, I spend a lot of time watching youtube, surfing the web, and finding distractions. I've actually played video games twice. I bought an Indie game on my computer and played for 6 hours straight until I beat the game. I also played Destiny downstairs on the PlayStation (eww playstation :P) I am hooked on this one youtuber especially and it's something I enjoy, and I am not convinced I should stop watching, but a part of me thinks I really should, especially after Cam's video on the topic.
    I'm not doing good in my classes, my room is a mess, I'm not making new friends, I'm not sleeping enough (because I want to stay up and watch youtube or something).
    I think the main thing holding me back is pain. I get a mental pain when I deny myself youtube, or try to force myself to work on an assignment. Yeah it's probably psychological, but it's powerful enough to win a lot of the time. And then there's the pain of no friends/ girlfriend. I suppose it's kinda like losing your legs. You gotta be in a wheelchair, and whenever you see other people walking maybe it makes you want to cry. And you want to be upset, because if you aren't upset, then that means you've resigned yourself to mediocrity, and there's nothing worse than mediocrity. And then, you know, maybe eventually you'll get replacement prosthetic legs or something, but you know it'll never be the same. So these thoughts consume you and it's hard to focus on the tasks which you don't like. You'd rather be entertained by someone on youtube. That's what it feels like for me.
    Pretty soon here, I'm gonna restart the 30 day challenge. Also, I want to post here every day, starting today. I want to find happiness like Joe has. It seems nice, you know...
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  15. Zane added a post in a topic My Journal - Joe   

    wait a second. When did you start working on this current weight loss? Regardless, that's not bad at all
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