Day 15-30 And so my trip to UK has ended. This will be a memory that I'll never forget. The trip was amazing - I went to lots of museums, learnt lots of cool stuff in Science classes, and most importantly, had fun with lots of people there. Way before I joined the programme I thought that my mom was stupid to "waste all of her money" on this thing, and what's worse is that I feared that I would gain nothing from the trip. But as I progress more I find it more enjoyable than I thought - I gained more friends and learnt interesting stuff that I'll never get to learn in a school. I also get to go to places where Hong Kong will never have! The scenery is beautiful too. Lots of trees, forests, cycling roads and farmlands. It's the kind of relaxing atmosphere that I love. Before I left, I missed everyone and the place I lived in so much. I've never talked and played so much with any of my classmates before, it's the first time that the faces I see are truly memorable to me. I was a bit sad, but knowing that we'll keep in contact makes me happy. My mind kept having images of the fun I had in these 2 weeks, and I hope not to forget those images as well. I'm very proud of myself in these 2 weeks - instead of being shy like I was before, I had the courage to chat with my peers. I focused on building friendships, and I did well. Other than friends, I'm also proud of my eagerness to learn new things in this programme. Although I do not have a subject that I love with passion, I still like to discover things and find something as interesting as possible. In these 2 weeks I learnt in-depth some concepts of Science, and the process was challenging and rewarding. That is all. Back to work tomorrow! (But jet lag will probably make me oversleep, lol.)
Day 12 Went pretty well. Day 13 Went well, too. Today I decided to re-install Musescore which I haven't used in a long time. (It's a thing which allows you to write music scores for different instruments). Last year when I was bored, and if I don't want to play video games at that time, I would open Musescore, listen to some of my favourite music and try to write a score for it. Though I've been doing this for a short time before I go back to play video games Now that I remember this and have time, I decided to have some fun with writing scores again. Music has always been one of my favourite things in life. No matter if it's classical, 8-bit, EDM, or even gaming. When I was in elementary school I was always lonely (had little friends at that time haha), I would pick up my good ol' mp3, my earphones, and listen to some good music. It lifts my spirits, and it was another way of dealing with boredom besides from gaming that time. I play piano and although I'm not a pro at it, I do like playing it a lot especially some relaxing, uplifting music. Now that I've more time on other things I started to collect suggestions from other people on what songs they like, and try to play it. It's pretty fun Day 14 2 weeks -- and surprise, I'm going to England! Well, travelling to different countries is normal I guess, but what I'm doing is that I"ve joined a summer science programme, which I'll have to travel to UK for 2 weeks, and do all kinds of science activities such as going to museums, learning sciency stuff, and more. Am I excited? Well, as a nerd I'm usually not excited by going outside, but I'm interested in what I'll learn there! For the next 2 weeks I don't know if I'll have time to write my journal or not. I'll bring my notebook there but since we can only go back to our dorms at 10 pm, and that's the time when I sleep...I'm not sure, I'll see. I'll try to write things that really, really interest me. Packed everything, and I'm ready to go.
Day 9 I finally saw a new doctor and got some new medicine. My cough was getting to its worst level. Thank god those pills worked well against my illness! I'm not entirely relieved, but at least I'm not coughing once per five minutes. More importantly, I'm starting to have a healthy diet - no cold drinks, no preserved food, more water. It's no Paleo diet (because my parents still cook what I eat), but that'll do for now. Although it's not on the same level of gaming it can still be a bit challenging for me. Over these 2 years I've been buying every drink and every pack of potato chips whenever I see a convenient store. I enjoyed the food at first, but it become a habit overtime. The food doesn't even taste good anymore yet I'm still buying them! And I believe breaking this habit is just like quitting gaming - not on the same level, but similar processes and cravings will occur. I may feel I'm not satisfied with my meals but I'm sure it'll change. Day 10 I haven't played card for a while, haven't I? Good to pick them up again, I guess. I mean, I'm working at a youth centre. So there's gotta be games somewhere. What's even better is that even we workers can play some of the games when we have nothing to do. Very cool I must say, haha. Day 11 For my whole life my parents have told me again and again to read. They tell me how reading is good, reading is fun and is a much better to do instead of, well, gaming. As a kid I've always found visual content far more interesting, and so books, which do not content and visual content, never interested me. When I grow bigger I started to understand how books can be amazing, yet never read them. I've even bought some books in the past and told myself "hey, maybe someday you'll get bored and pick this book up. You never know." And today is the day I pick a book up. For someone who's never read a book seriously before, it's like going into a new world of unexpectedness. Yes - I've never read a book seriously, not even read a single whole book. (except the books in my elementary school which are wayyy too stupid for me to read) Either the book's topic does not interest me, or that the reason was, "You've got games anyways, why read books when you have so much more fun gaming?" Today I brought a book that I bought long ago, without an idea of why I bought it - The Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. Yes Charles Dickens. For my first serious book. And it's not short either. Usually when I see a book thick like this I would just avoid it. But surprisingly, today I read this book at my work, and I find it very charming! For once I was amazed by the things I read in a book. It's not super-exciting like gaming, but the surprises a book can give, I've found, can be wonderful. And this is where I recall Cam's video on Pokemon GO - When we're gaming, we're so used to being passive about gaining satisfication. We're used to things coming to us that makes us happy, instead of us exploring the world outside us, and finding things that makes us happy. The same goes with reading books. Simply reading the words cannot bring you any fun. Use your mind to imagine, create the scene described in the books. Make the scene as beautiful and as exciting it can be - just like filming a movie in your head by simply looking at words. If you do so you can really get attached to the storyline, and ultimately feel like it's one of the most wondrous things you've ever seen. This is something that gaming doesn't teach - the skill of creating something using your own mind, and making you satisfied by doing so. I'm still not a book fanatic, I can still get bored when I read for too long, but definitely learnt something today.
Day 6 Worked from 10 am to 10 pm - This day went pretty well. Me and my working partner talked the whole day, talked about stories, places and stuff. Tons of fun. Day 7 Today's Saturday - Usually, with this much free time, it's easy for me to relapse. But this time I've gotten far enough from games to resist myself. Besides, I've to attend my grandma's 93th birthday (yes, she's very very healthy!) so not much for me to do And, during this day, I actually found out another thing in my life that has been ignored for so long, and now is the time to start improving it. Unhealthy dieting is something that has been affecting me for a while, yet I always thought it was too small for me to care about. Since 2014 april, the month my depression kicked in, my eating habit changed a lot. As my mood went down I ate less and less, leaving me very skinny. I've also stopped playing basketball, which is something I do regularly with my classmates before that time. When I got to the 2nd year of high school, I was finally allowed to actually go out of the school to have lunch. I kept eating McDonalds, because 1.it's cheap and 2. The Depression has already laid a permenant effect on me(it made me desperate so tasty food such as McDonalds made me feel relieved). It was....a really bad idea. I wasn't feeling any changes at the beginning, but overtime, to a few days before this day.....I started coughing and coughing more. Now I'm no doctor so I can't tell what exact foods made me cough so bad, but I believe if I had gone with a better diet I wouldn't be at such a bad state. So here I am not - Still coughing. But from now on, I shall 1. Drink as less cold drinks as possible 2. No junk food obviously 3. Drink more water 4. Go jogging more frequently Man, it's good that I quit gaming to realize that there are so many things for me to improve. I really do hope I become healthier though, being healthier makes a person happier as well! Day 8 Nothing particularly bad. At home watched a bunch of Ben's prank videos. Also I took @WorkInProgress's suggestion and listened to some podcast. Pretty good alternative to piano I must say! Other than that, nothing much.
Hoi Carlos! Welcome to the forums. Quitting gaming can be difficult but with enough patience and support you can make it through. I've just had my 15th birthday not long ago, so I can relate with your feelings a bit. Wish you luck on your journey mate. Also......you can drive at 15 at your country? Wow, that's pretty early compared to my country's system, which we can only drive at 18
It's normal to mess up your schedule for the first few times. I have had a bit of experience with it. My best advice is to allow changes in the schedule as it's very hard to set up good timings for the first time. Experiment different timings and activities, the schedule will get better and be easier to follow. No need to blame yourself if you can't follow!
@WorkInProgress Thanks for the suggestion! I actually have piano as a relaxation activity, but podcast seems interesting. I've never thought of it before, will try it out! @Cam Yes. I'm thankful that the social worker at my school recommended this for me, it's very eye-opening for me. @Daniel Thanks mate! I saw those questions in your diary. I'll think over these questions some time.
Day 3 Today went pretty well. It was also my first time having to work a summer job, and what do I think of it? It's a new and interesting experience. For a relatively young worker I din't have to do a lot of work, some work including organizing files, organizing materials, looking after the kids (yes it's a kid's centre) etc. Although the work wasn't very hard it's very fun to explore the things that's in an office and actually do the work. I have to work for 8 hours for tues & weds, 4 hours for thurs and 12 hours for fri. Today's tuesday so I worked for 8 hours. Did a lot of organization work. Not too tiring but not to relaxing either! After I got home, I was a bit exhausted. Ended my day off by playing some piano. No cravings, nice. Everything seems to be going well! Day 4 Similar to Day 3 - except I was less busy today because there was a lot less work for me to do. When I was relaxing I suddenly had the thought of reinstalling my old iphone games, but I held off at last. Nothing special other than that. Day 5 I only needed to go to work for 4 hours today, so I got home early. Played piano for a while, then that feeling started to kick in. And it's stronger than the one yesterday! Guess what did I do? Videos, videos and videos. And that got taken care of eventually...by consuming my time on another thing, lol. I'd say it isn't the best strategy, but if I can somehow can be more interested in something else, perhaps it'd be more effective and healthier for me. For now it's alright though. Tomorrow I have to work for a whopping 12 hours so...... no way I'm going to game! haha!
Doesn't matter, as long as you can work with a 15 year old that is me :v Gender, age, interests don't matter. But it'd be a bit better if you're trying to develop good habits, trying to explore music or are around my age. Again doesn't matter, if anyone is interested let me know!! Really wish I can find someone here! Thanks!
....Sooooo...After a long long while, I've finally come back to here. I've stopped writing for quite a while now. And to summarize what had happened....I relapsed, and it took me a while to get back. It was not long after I wrote my last journal, until I have found a new game by accident. This time it's no flash game or anything, it's actually an online game. Similar to clash royale I'd say. And boy it got me real addicted. When I touched this game, the things that I told myself before didn't work, I lost control, installed the game and......yeah. I played the game for a good 2 1/2 months, and that's when I started to have the same feeling when I first wanted to quit - feeling bored about games, and wanting to move on. So here I am now, doing this for a second time. Although the relapse was long, I got a lot of things from it including some of the reasons I quitted, adjusting some of my mindsets, trying to find some new activities..... and now the journey begins again. Oh boy, relapses are much more scarier than I thought. One lesson I learnt though - Do not. Watch. Gaming. Streams! Ugh, that's how I end up there. The feeling you get when you watch a video or stream just makes you want to play the game for your own. And it does! Day 1-2 Here we go again. Another journey. This time though, I've got more things up in my sleeve - trying to invest more in music, actually borrowing some self-improvement books, getting a summer job , and even go jogging every morning. It's even better for me since I'm now 15, which is the the required age for anyone in my town to get a job. Not to mention there's a classmate who I've known for a while that works with me, so double the goodness! So how did the 2 days go? I had some strong cravings, even stronger than the ones before. but I pulled it off. For now the things I'll do are playling piano, youtube, and going outside for a walk/jogging. Very simple indeed but I hope to find more interesting activities by then. That's all for now.
Day 7-12 So, first 10 days of my detox passed - 80 more to go! Still a long way, but I'm getting there. Day 7-10 went pretty well. After some time I managed to find a bit more activities to do rather than reading (reading isn't that effective for me right now). I started to find some classical pieces on the internet, and started to play piano again - it was once something my parents and piano teacher forced me to do, and I really hated it. (forcing someone to play music just to get grades is just....no.) I kept telling my mom to stop forcing me to play piano, and after I've finished my final piano exam, I told myself I've been forced to play piano so much that I will never play piano ever again. But a few days ago, this thought came to me. Now that I've very few things to do, I can put way more time on stuff that I didn't thought of doing! It turned out quite well - for times that I just want to relax this is definitely something I would do. I downloaded gymnopedie and Clair de lune, pretty chill pieces I gotta say. I also decided to create a timetable. Finally. I have tried a few times to set up a timetable, but they all didn't work...maybe because of the video games holding me back. I set up timetables for Mon-Fri and Sat-Sun. I also wrote a table of activities that I may do when I'm bored. I don't know if this is necessary but better to be safe than sorry. The timetables worked surprisingly well! For some reason, I just feel a sense of satisfication making that timetable, and actually successfully following the timetable. Guess organizing things makes someone happy. On Day 11 and 12 I had some slightly bigger cravings again. Dealt with them just fine though. School's become more boring for whatever reason, but as long as I can keep up I'm good.