Sweetsour

Day Eighteen Added

Absolutely. It's like anything new that the body encounters; there will be a time to adapt to each change. Though, it's quite remarkable at how the body can adapt so quickly. Either way, it definitely hasn't helped that I spent most of the past year sitting for the majority of each day, haha

Day nine added.

Yea, I wasn't a fan of the Mass Effect books. I LOVED the game(s). I put so many hours into the second one, haha. But yea, the story behind me starting the Warcraft books was kinda funny. A friend of brother's got him into WoW; and in turn myself. After about a year of playing, this friend recommended that I read the "War of the Ancients" trilogy. Me not being a reader, at the time, by any means, kinda pushed it off for some time. I eventually started the first book and I was hooked. He lent me the first two of the three books because the third hadn't been released yet. To my luck, by the time I finished the second book (which was maybe 2-3 days per book), the third one had released a week prior. So I didn't waste any time in buying it. This was my first ever novel purchase. I've recommended this trilogy to many who are also into the Warcraft games/lore. It was such an incredible read!

Day eight added.

Thanks! When I had gone out that day to take pictures, I had doubts on my abilities, due to how long it's been since I've last been out. So I figured that I was rusty and that I wasn't going to get any good shots. Capturing that photo really helped me feel clearer and better.

Day four added.

I love programming. It's a favorite hobby of mine that's great for all kinds of learning; problem solving, troubleshooting, practical thinking, etc.

Any favorite documentaries you recommend otherwise? Yes, actually. It's a very new documentary split into episodes about the benefits of medical marijuana. I used to smoke because it helped with my anxiety, but had a very bad experience that lead to an incredibly severe panic attack - it was due to other external sources that caused this; not the cannabis itself. Unfortunately, my body saw this feeling as a threat and I haven't been able to smoke since November of 2014; but I digress. The documentary/show is called "Weediquette". Its aim is to educate the public, in an attempt to help move away from pharmaceuticals, which are more toxic than healing in most cases. I've watched two episodes so far and I've been blown away by them both. The first episode is actually available on YouTube for free viewing. It's about the [potential] effectiveness of THC against cancer. Weediquette: Episode 1

I've wondered whether or not I too have agoraphobia. I get anxiety from so many different sources. That's a great video you made, btw! P.S. - Thanks for the warm welcome everyone! This seems like a great community to be a part of.

My little buddy is "Niko"; he's been such a great friend that past 8 years. He's such a well behaved, smart, and crazy cat with an awesome personality. 9.5/10, he sleeps with me every night. He's ALWAYS sleeping on my lap when I'm at the computer; including right now. I adopted him only days after having to put my last cat of 9 years down. It was an interesting moment, because after looking through the SPCA and pet stores, I instantly knew Niko was the cat I wanted. All the other cats in his cage were up at the front basically saying "pick me, pick me!". Niko, however, was hiding behind the scratching post and just peeking his head out, looking at me.

I organized a screening of the documentary "Sharkwater" to help raise awareness about sharks.

That's a fair question. I guess saying "ultimate" was a bit heavy handed lol. I'm planning on working at my current job for about a year or two; it's by no means permanent. I'm working on getting my A+ Certification, and I'd like to get a job in the I.T. field.

Very happy to have found Cam's video(s) and to be here to start a new life! Before I begin my journal, I invite you to read my prologue that tells the story as to what lead me to this community PROLOGUE (Part 1) PROLOGUE (Part 2) NEW GOALS My ultimate goal at this point is to keep my new job and move out of my parents' house and get my own place! Primary Activities WorkoutReadEat healthyCleanSecondary Activities Wildlife PhotographyHangout with friendsJoin a community sport teamTertiary Activities Movies / InternetVideo games / chat with online friendsComputer programmingMY JOURNAL Day One (March 31, 2016) Started a new job and experienced extreme anxiety and surreality. Realized I have a problem and did some research. Discovered that I am addicted to video games. The hardest moment of my life was convincing myself to not quit this job to go back home and play video games. I'm happy to report that I stuck through it, and the realization after my first shift that I am, in fact, addicted to video games, made it that much more easier. Day Two (April 1, 2016) I caved. I quit my job and went back home to play video games and decided this was my new life goal APRIL FOOLS! Seriously, though. My second day on the job was far easier, but it was still difficult as my mind was in a constant struggle of weighing pros and cons of not being at home playing video games. The idea of working here was nowhere near as scary as it was yesterday. The most important thing I took from this day, is I'm already feeling progress. Day Three (April 2, 2016) Today started out as a good day, in that I didn't have to wake up stupid early for a breakfast shift. My mind felt clearer than it has in a long time. The thought of grabbing a quick breakfast and immediately heading to my PC to play video games was not there. Instead, I decided to go to the local conservation area to do some more wildlife photography. The emphasis on this point, is that I haven't gone out to do wildlife photography for at least half a year - maybe longer. I got a couple good shots, but my main goal today was just to be outside and bask in the glory of mother nature once again. BONUS: Here's my favorite photo that I took today! Day Four (April 3, 2016) Today I started to read again! I've only ever read a handful of books in my life. When I think about books and the times I've read them, I find it to be an odd situation. Every time I read a book that I enjoyed, I remember having amazing visual thoughts that painted the mental picture(s) that drove the book and story forward for me. Though, when it came to starting a new book, I wouldn't have it. The book I'm reading is part of the Warcraft lore. I read the "War of the Ancients" trilogy many years ago and I thought it was an absolutely incredible read (I recommend it to anyone!). The book I've started today continues that story. I'm excited to see the story unfold as I've wanted to all this time. Additionally, I played my Wii-U for the first time in a long time. Sure, this may sound like I'm going against the grain here, but the reality is I haven't touched my Wii-U in many months because my gaming addiction is with PC gaming. So playing a video games that's not on the PC is a step forward for me. Day Eight (April 7, 2016) Phew, looks like I missed a couple of days! I've been so busy with my new job that I've either forgotten to, or didn't really have much to tell; so I figure I'll kind of lump the past phew days up into today! This past week, I've worked Tuesday and Wednesday, both 8 hour days. I'm working again today. I kept Monday rather uneventful, to give myself a bit of a break. Though, one thing I can say for sure, is Tuesday was still as rough as the previous week's shifts; still a constant battle in my mind of whether or not I should keep the job, or just quit and go home to play video games. Thankfully, yesterday was a major improvement. I've quickly become comfortable with the hours, and the idea of me being the main kitchen personnel during that shift is appealing. In fact, yesterday was the first day where I hadn't tried convincing myself that I should be at home. It was the first day where I thought: "you know, I think I can do this!". It helps that everyone's very nice and supportive. Additionally, I've been putting a lot of time into my latest Warcraft book. It's so awesome! Having played Blizzard game since they first came out, I hold the Warcraft franchise close to my heart. Playing the Warcraft games, especially WoW for the past 10 1/2 years, reading about the in depth background story really brings the game(s) to life. I'm definitely loving it and am looking forward to continuing the story with the next titles So far so good Day Nine (April 8, 2016) Today I've realized that I'm starting to like my job. Parts of me still cringe at its repetitiveness, but I do well either way. In fact, I've been told that I've been the quickest person they've had pick up kitchen work, in terms of retaining how to build the food items as well as speed. All I have to say to that, is thank you video games for the amazing hand-eye coordination and visual memory! Not much else is new, but I have the new three days off, that I'm really looking forward to! My feet really need a break, man they got really sore from working all this past week! Hoping to get back out to get more wildlife photography done when my feet feel better. Day Eighteen (April 17, 2016) Things have been doing really well for me lately. I've begun to enjoy my job and the people I work with. It's hard work, but the shifts go by very quickly as a result. Though, I cut my finger pretty badly a couple days ago at the beginning of my shift and I was asked if I wanted to go home. Obviously, the thought of going back home to play video games had crossed my mind, but I decided to fight through the pain and continue my shift. It just so happened that the shift was insanely busy and I had to stay an extra hour. My manager was very pleased with me the next day. I've been reading a lot more with my Warcraft lore. There's so much to it that it frequently branches off to new areas of the lore, but I'm really enjoying it. A lot of the reading right now is timeline lore that takes place between books, so I can't wait to start my next book! Today I went to the local conservation area again, but I spent 2 hours there and walked 4.5 km (~3 miles). I didn't get any worthwhile shots, but it was still a great time because it was such a beautiful day and it's the first time it's been this warm!

For as long as I care to think about, I've experienced anxiety on a daily basis. I've also experienced severe depression a handful of times. As a result, I'm 29 and still live with my parents. Recently, I got a new job at A&W as kitchen staff. I'm a programmer and I.T. professional that has been struggling to find work in my field(s) (which I love), but my city's job market is garbage, to say the least. When I saw the job ad for the A&W job, I thought "screw it, I worked kitchen at McD's 11 years ago and remember loving it". I was excited to have finally gotten a call saying that I got a job. It's been so long since I've had a legitimate job. A couple days went by and I hadn't heard back about my training hours. So while I was out with the parents getting dinner, I decided to give them a call. The call went great, I got my training hours. Then it hit me. The moment I hung up, I instantly started feeling a severe panic take over me. Instant and strong anxiety took over. The thought of having to leave home for work? I haven't done such a thing in so long! Every waking moment from that point on was a constant struggle with anxiety. Constantly questioning myself: "Am I going to like this job?", "What if I don't do well?", etc. What didn't help is that I'm very much a night owl and the first two shifts were breakfast shifts, to be trained on breakfast; though my main shift hours when I'm fully trained will be 3-11pm. This was the other appeal to this job, because I thought these hours were perfect for me. So, as a result, the thought of having to go to bed early and wake up at 6am loomed over me and I dreaded the idea. So my initial thinking was "just get through the two breakfast shifts and everything will be ok...". The day came and I woke from a mostly restless sleep and drove to work. I got in my uniform and walked into the kitchen. I was instantly shocked from severe anxiety. I was overtaken by a feeling of surreality. Instantly, my mind thought "what am I doing here?!". As the morning progressed, I started very slightly at ease, but my anxiety was still very high. Then thoughts like "is this what I'm really going to be doing 8 hours a day for 5 days a week?". Being constantly bombarded with such negative realizations, I almost threw up and passed out in the kitchen. Thankfully I was allowed to step out of the kitchen and get some air and water. At this point, I was ready to quit on the spot. I honestly almost did. Then I thought to myself "No, I need the money. I want to contribute to society". So I pushed through it. It felt like a long day, to say the least. I got home and my anxiety hadn't improved as I was reminded that I had to wake up early AGAIN and do it all over again. About an hour before I had to go to bed, I decided to seek advice and even research as to why I was feeling like this. I recall hearing about video game addiction, so I did some digging. This is when I stumbled on a TEDx vid of Cam's presentation for quitting gaming. His words resonated with me as I felt like he was talking to/about me directly. It was at this point that I truly knew that I was addicted to video games. I instantly felt a weight lifted off my chest from this realization. Finally knowing what's been causing all this (from present and past experiences), I can now work towards fixing the issues. My second day (today) went a lot better, but it still wasn't perfect. My mind was in a constant power struggle of trying to convince myself to just quit and go back home to play video games. As a result, I would just say to myself "it's just the video games talking, it's just the video games talking. This really helped. I thought of goals, like actually having money in my bank account, moving out and finally getting my own place, etc. As a result, my anxiety at this moment is a lot better. It's not perfect, but it's definitely better. I'm not planning on quitting video games completely, but my aim is to enjoy video games while also enjoying life; where video games don't dictate my life choices. Cam has inspired me and showed me that this can be done. I just want to feel better and live a more balanced life. I'm hoping for the best.