ThePerfectApology

Btw I am interested an accountability partner. If anybody here are interested too reply to this topic: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/3768-19-year-old-male-looking-for-an-accountability-partner/

Hello everyone My name is Torleif, I'm 19 years old and I come from Norway. Since April 17 2016 I have officially been video-game free, which was the day I entered the military to serve my country for a year. Although I've tried multiple times before to quit video games (with varying levels of results) this has been my longest period without it. Moreover, I have avoided easy entertainment for the most part while cultivating healthy habits, such as jogging, meditation and reading. The purpose for why I'm writing this is to give some general tips and tricks for those of you who have started walking the path. I'm not going to share my story (most of it is detailed in my journal) and the year in the military I would rather not speak of. In many ways it was very tough and sad and difficult, probably more difficult than anything I have ever experienced before, and I believe it would make you sad as well. Anyways, let's get straight to it. My top recommendations 1) Listen to Cam. Cam knows what he's doing and the stuff he has written in Respawn is the real deal. Sometimes the advice you tell other people is the advice you need to follow yourself -- I realize that I am often guilty of this -- but I am telling you right now that if you do what Respawn says you WILL succeed. 2) Buy a slow-growing pot plant. It seems silly but a plant is much like yourself: it starts small, growing ever so slightly every day. Sometimes it doesn't even seem like its growing at all, but it is, you just can't see it. All it needs is time and energy, just like you. The weeks go by and some small sprouts starts to appear, becoming stronger and stronger, until perhaps one can see some real change, like magic. Left to itself it will become mighty, just as you will if you manage to be patient. 3) Seek simplicity and consistency in your habits. The Slight Edge sums it up well, which I recommend you reading. 4) Have a growth mindset, which I know is easier said than done, but try at least (read Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck). 5) Keep things simple. I didn't want to write any of this, even when Cam asked, because I still feel like I'm far from where I want to be. Who am I, I thought, to give you advice, advice that I have trouble following myself, when I still spend too much time on the computer (looking at cars mostly) and I still don't have a social activity. Anyway most of you are probably a hundred levels ahead of me in terms of applying and embodying what Respawn says, so my hope is that reading this you will at least become a tiny bit wiser, just a tiny gram more prepared. Personally I have a long way to go but what I think matters is that I am on the path. Who knows, perhaps I will take the 30 Day Challenge and Beyond. I'll end with one of my favorite quotes, from the lord of the rings. It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step into the road, and if you don't keep your feat, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to'. -Bilbo Baggins

Day 57 (17/4/2016) - "The unexamined life is not worth living", "Karpe Diem, seize the day" I am going to the military tomorrow and therefore the likelihood of giving regular updates about my detox is uncertain. The curve of my life is heading in a positive direction; many --- my parents especially --- say I am happier than ever. Before going I will print out a bunch of SMART - goal templates and fill them out. Also reading Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" is on the do to list. It's important for me that I make a battle plan for how to reach my dreams now, and not when I am in the army. Not so far in the future I will reach the US and I will prepare myself for the ultimate adventure: traveling to Mars. I KNOW that it is possible, almost palpable in a sense. What I have to do now is figure out how to get to that point. Gratitude journal: -I am grateful for being alive after reading "When Breath Becomes air" by Paul Kalanithi. There is great wisdom in knowing that one day you are going to die. -Kindle Paperwhite -Mars colony -Love and compassion -amazing family -books -clouds and blue sky -forest clad mountains -warmth from sun -calculator

Day 56 (16/4/2016) Gratitude journal: -warm, beautiful weather outside -tractors driving around fertilizing fields that will provide cows with food -warm thoughts to all farmers out there, who for often meager pay take care of the land and grow crops. Couldn't eat without them. -glad that I had the money to buy a biography called "the Wright brothers". The book gave me the same advice that almost all biographies of great people give: have a positive attitude, work really hard and follow your dreams. -happy since I got to talk to one of my neighbors yesterday. He has a good heart and is enjoyable to be around. -again, really grateful for all my clothes and shoes. Sometimes one take this things for granted, but then realize that it is a luxury. -flowers and green grass everywhere -the smell of summer -sea gulls hunting for worms -Nasa website!

Day 54 (14/4/2016) Gratitude journal: I am grateful for the fact that I have everything I need to cover my basic necessities, such as a toilet, food, shelter and clothes. Today I also remembered how blessed I AM for having a mother and father who have tried as best as they can to give me a good upbringing. Many billions of humans cannot say that they experienced such a luxury. I probably should thank them more and be grateful whenever I can. Finally I want to thank Mother Earth for the perfect living conditions it provides: atmosphere, crops, water, land and so on. I should treat her better, because Mars, Venus and Mercury are all horrible in comparison.

Day 53 (13/4/2016) Gratitude journal: -chocolate -Duolingo -computer -water -birds -car -post service -dog -blue sky -spaceX

Day 53 (11/4/2016): (I AM NOT SMART! I AM NOT SMART!) I am not smart. Nobody comes to me for advice. Nobody cares for what I have to say. Nobody knows who I am. I could slit my wrists tomorrow and the world would go on as NORMAL. Eighteen years I have lived in a country with access to books, technology and computers. What good have I done with all that knowledge? Nothing. I have not made any peoples lives better nor made a difference in this world. There are two billion people on earth with no access to electricity. They would kill for an opportunity like the one I have. And I have wasted it. I was disgusted with myself today for making a disgusting choice. Instead of taking an opportunity to learn something really hard in programming today, I quit. Looked to hard. Made me feel dumb. Can't have that right? There is this fallacy in my mind that people who are smart don't struggle. Everything comes easy to them without any effort. That's why I skip out of such opportunities. And I hate myself so much for it. Talking to people I always try to give the illusion that I am a smart person. Why? Why do I do that? Why not just admit that I know very little, that my knowledge is the size of a single piece of sand in the Saharan desert? Maybe I should quit talking. Gratitude journal: -blessed to have been gifted a safe childhood free from trauma -thankful for all the information I have available -grateful for the fact that I have food and water -happy since I can get a haircut -inspired by how animals live in the present -I sometimes want to thank my mother and father for bothering to raise me at all -warm clothes -watch -safety -freedom of speech Quote of the day: "Never neglect an opportunity for improvement" -Sir William Jones

Wow..., I would kill for an opportunity like that!

Day 52 (10/4/2016) There are many demons/hungry ghosts in my life that I want to get rid off. The number one most pestering right now is me constantly checking for new news-stories on my two fav companies: SpaceX and Tesla. I have a great passion for both of them, and I own stock in Tesla, which also has had a bad effect on me, since it leads me to constantly check the stock price. Any advice on how to deal with this would be great. Another demon is porn (NSFW ahead). I want to stop watching porn because there is no real reason to watch porn, and it's better to fuel that sexual energy into work. I'm planning on making a SMART - plan and some of the things I did for Respawn to stop this habit. I'm hoping that the constant activity in the military plus my preparedness will lead to positive results. Again, any advice would be great (I'm currently on my second week in "the science of willpower", which is teaching me lots of techniques to help with demon). The third hungry ghost I have is listening to music as a form of stress-relief, not for entertainment. It is necessary to stop this since music is addictive, and I would rather just exercise or meditate to get out stress. My spider-senses tells me that it will be addressed in the military. The final one is sugar. I have already gone without energy drinks for about 40 days, but I want to make some headway on refined sugar that you can find in candy, and chocolate. Right now i feel as if I don't have the control over my sugar intake; yesterday I ate a whole bag of chocolate in 30 mins for example. I want to be the master of my own actions, and right now I feel like my second personality (I call him "ronkemannen") is in control of this area of my life. Advice appreciated. I like to dwell on the positive progress for the most part, so here is a progress report (still no gaming - related activities ) -50 min of piano -50 min of spanish -90 min of computer programming -four hours of reading a book called "the giver" -120 min of meditation -45 min walk Gratitude journal: -funny birds chirping outside today -Spacex landing its rocket on a sea-platform, marking the start of the space-revolution -warm weather and little wind -lamps in my room -income from stocks -vaccinations I got from the state -blue atmosphere full of o2 -motivational videos -healthy food on the table -milk, tea and water available to me (fresh fruit also), which would be an incredible luxury in the older times Quote of the day: "Never contract friendship with a man that is not better than yourself" -Confucius A short reflection on why so many people fail to reach their potential I watched Cam's video on motivation today, and I really liked it. What made me though sad is that I have never had a friend like Cam (I'm guessing most of the people also on this forum) - who is both a dream-chaser and hard working and inspirational. If I had I probably never would have ended up in this mess, where several YEARS of my life has been spent on video games. That's why I picked out the quote above today. To remember to always surround yourself with great people if possible, because they WILL bring you up with them. As I read somewhere on the forum a couple of days ago: your income is the average of your five friends.

Day 51 (9/4/2016) Today I finished planning my trip to the military. It was nice to get that burden of my shoulders, because it had really stressed me out lately. I also went on a long mountain trip with my dog, Dina, and I think she liked it as much as I did. Hopefully we can get another one next week (bad weather stay away!). Gratitude journal: -happy that I have enough money to by myself some decent running shoes -grateful for the beautiful weather I had today, and the lovely snow on the mountain peak -warm inside as a result of the great dinner I had today -thankful for a nice conversation with my sister -inspired from watching the movie into the wild yesterday -blessed by the fact that I could buy a new book on my kindle -amazing future life -all the people that have died in the past for me to live a life in freedom and comfort -online education bringing about the opportunity for people like me to realize and relish their dreams -the chance that I will be able to help people in need if I continue working hard every day on myself and becoming a better person

Day 50 (8/4/2016) Gratitude journal: -beautiful blue sky outside -puffy clouds -I am grateful for the dinner that I got today, both nutritious and healthy -Grateful for being able to play a small part of "can you feel the love" by Elon John on Piano -Thankful for having warm clothes and several pairs of shoes -Blessed by the fact that I have soap (surprisingly important) and toothpaste -Appreciative of my teachers that taught me how to read, write and do arithmetic -Happy that I am alive and the fact that I am starting to enjoy every moment of my life -Love to all people around the world

Day 49 (7/4/2016) Gratitude journal: -the smile that I got from a friend of mine today -following my passion instead of going to school -financial stability -nice conversation with neighbor and mother -chocolate <3 -exciting future -electricity and tea -having a comfortable bed to go to every night -being able to get from A to B in a short amount of time -atmosphere to let me breath, thank you Earth! Quote of the day: If you quit quitting, then quitting will become harder and harder for the the rest of your life. -Me

Day 48 (6/4/2016) Gratitude journal: -thankful for the fact that I can wake up every day without fear -thankful for my trusty calculator -happy that my sister and I have a good relationship -glad that I will go to the military, where I can grow as a person -blessed with being born in a first world country -blessed with health, love and warmth -grateful that have been able to see many different places in my short life -also want to thank my country to for paying for my schooling and vaccines -the cold, light rain in the evening that reminds that I'm not on Venus, where it rains acid -a nice watch to let me keep track of time. Quote of the day: "The best way to predict the future is to create it" -Abraham Lincoln

Start with the Headspace App and the 10 mins/day 10 day challenge (free) that teaches you all about it. +1

Day 47 (5/4/2016) Today I took the day off to ponder about my future. It is necessary to do this since my military service starts in less than two weeks - a big moment for me - and I want to make sure I have the right mindset going in. Here is some of my self-advice: a) be humble b) honesty is key c) self-respect d) keep writing gratitude journal (have to use a book) e) keep daily meditations going f) drink lots of water. Anyways, hope anybody who's reading this is having a great day! Gratitude journal -thankful for the fact that I am able to borrow my mothers car -grateful that I have food on the table -exstatic that my stocks have gone up -a fun piano where I can learn songs on the web -Khan Academy for providing me with world class education -fresh air and birds chirping when taking walks -the prospect of a good life and financial backing from my family -the opportunity to take a nice shower every day -having a kindle paper white that allows me to access tons and tons of knowledge Quote of the day "Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner anywhere" -Chinese proverb

Day 45 (3/4/2016) Gratitude journal: -cheese doodles -gas -born healthy -two arms, two legs -no cancer -piano songs on the internet -joy of living -great dinner with a big G today -clean water, best rated in Norway -Dina, my dog and my best buddy

Day 44 (2/4/2016) Gratitude journal: -selling gitar -my own watch -clean car -great dinner -great mom -chicken soup for the soul -smiles from random people -the opportunity to talk with great, warm people -darkness -morning sunshine

Love this !

Day 41 (30/3/2016) If I manage to complete the full detox I'll recommend one thing to new users: stick with your meditation. For me this has made the biggest positive impact, though explaining why is tricky. The best way to put it is that meditation lets you become more aware of the choices you make and why you make them, which leads to greater self-understanding. And self-understanding is key to fighting addiction. Gratitude journal: -meditation -Model E -ruler -blinder hiding the sun -music -butter -soap -Elon Musk <-- rolemodel -eraser -not drinking energy drinks

Day 40 (29/3/2016) Gratitude journal: -sun sets late -warm, breezy day -woolen socks -4 new notebooks to write in -pencil sharpener -independence -electricity -freshly baked bread -summer tires on car -topcoder website

Day 38 (28/3/2016) Gratitude journal: -KhanAcademy -Great room -living in Norway -being alive -fresh air -paper to use creativity with -calculator -printer -amazing parents -rain Still no gaming, finished the science of willpower, will start doing self - experimentation with my current routines and willpower exercises.

Day 37 (27/3/2016) Mottoes "Just do it" Thoughts I've been reading the science of willpower and it has truly been an inspirational book. You know that feeling when you read about a certain fault or mistake most people make and you say "hey, that's me!". Well, that has happened to me all the time while going through it. Otherwise there isn't that much to say, I have just been trying to follow the advice I have gotten from Respawn and other self - help books, while making my new hobbies and routines stickier. From here on out, I will probably write less like this and instead insert more progress reports and gratitude journals. But until that day comes I'll write some more! When I was in the US I had this friend called Kelsey. I don't know why I befriended her, or why I hanged out with her, but now when I look back I am glad that I did. Why? Because it taught me that intelligence was nothing and hard work was everything. This girl would literally would come in and brag about how much she didn't do. "Hey Tor, guess who didn't study for the physics test and got a A?", "Wow I just got this homework done right before class" and so on and so forth. She had so much potential, but she never used it to the fullest. It was one of the saddest things I had ever seen. The reason why I remembered all of this was because I was watching an interview with Warren Buffet and he said this: It's better to have a 200 horse-power engine that outputs 200 horse-power than a 500 horse - power engine that outputs a 100. That's how I feel now with regards to Kelsey. She may have had the 500 horse power-engine (referring to brain power of course), but I have the engine that outputs 200 horse power. Anyway, I'd like to share one of my favorite poems of all time with you. I'm sure you have heard about it before, but it means a lot to me. The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay in leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet know how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence; Two roads diverged in a a wood, and I --- I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference. Progress: -been meditating for a full month now, started on level 1 on headspace -programming and piano routines are becoming stickier -lots of water but no soda the last weeks -currently reading a book called "the science of willpower" -40 minute walks every single day -started up my Duolingo spanish again Quote of the day "The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday"" -Unknown

Hey Alex Since you asked for advice regarding you playing with your friends I thought I could give you some advice. My opinion after reading some parts of your journal is that you should not play Terraria with your friends! This is your third attempt at the detox, which gives me a sense that you just like me can't simply play a little bit, then stop. You said yourself that "this will undermine much of what I have done and I may end up turning to more gaming for the holidays". If I were you I would look at your friends coming over as the exam for your continued absence from gaming, the really hard choice that will determine what kind of a person you are. I would also ask myself who wants to play Terraria, me or certain parts of my brain. Because your brain knows that playing Terraria for three days will release a ton of dopamine, and your brain loves that drug. Just think about it with a clear head. You are well into your detox from gaming, where you have taken up new habits like meditation, programming, reading and so on. Right at this point you are very vulnerable, as the new habits are not pleasurable per se yet. Now you want to make the choice to go back to gaming for a few days, just to feel that sense of mastery, skill, social development and fun. Believe me, been there done that and I can tell you right now: it's not worth it. Imagine what you could achieve if you spent those three days programming in Python instead. You said you needed to practice right? Anyway, best of luck and I hope things work out for you. I'm not trying to be a besserwisser, but rather just giving advice from one gamer to another. Torleif

Day 35 (25/3/2016) Gratitude journal: -cold air -comedians -popcorn -pizza -safety -warm socks -warm shower -lovely clean water

Day 34 (24/3/2016) The last couple of days I have noticed a change in my mindset. Not a grand one but more of a subtle difference, where a voice in my head always says "are you investing in yourself by doing this?". Who knows, maybe it has always been there. I have a suspicion though that is has to do with my regular meditations - 10-15 minutes every single day for 26 days - changing my brain chemistry. Finally I can listen to my inner voice more than all the clutter that usually goes through my head! More positive news Still not playing games, and have started listening to podcasts while driving. Negative news I was doing too much math per day, so now I am making a productivity chart for myself. It will map out when I start messing up, why I messed up and what I can do to change that in the future. Gratitude journal -warm socks -health -people of Bhutan changing the world -snow -rain -beautiful full moon -my own kindle paper white! -mindset by Carol Dweck! -comfortable bed Quote of the day: "Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving" - Albert Einstein