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About lvdw

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  • Birthday 07/08/1995

lvdw's Activity

  1. lvdw added a post in a topic The Daily Journal of lvdw   

    DAY 7 Insights
    Well, first, I think I've retained many of the benefits and mindset of my gaming habit. My sister's high school had an innovation showcase (a day where computing students could showcase projects they were working on), and a few students had games they'd built. Just from a few seconds of play (I'm pretty sure that doesn't constitute a violation of the 90 day detox), I could point out design flaws in a few of them. For example, one student had built a barebones 3D platformer using the Unity engine. The problems in his game: lack of control over jump height, too much of a time difference between landing and being able to jump again, and acceleration troubles (though I told him it was pretty good as a first project in Unity, and encouraged him to hone his craft further). On top of that, the attention to detail and reaction time that I feel games helped hone are still fairly sharp.
    Second, I tend to go to sleep earlier. My average bedtime when I was still playing was well into 2 in the morning, with my alarm often set for around ten in the morning. But now, because I don't have that demand to stay up late, I've been heading to bed earlier, often crawling into bed at around midnight because I get bored and tired, and I've started waking up earlier, often waking up before my alarm in some cases. But I still struggle from insomnia and, I'm a little ashamed to admit, I often fap to help me fall asleep (if any one knows a good method to fall asleep without it, I'm all ears).
    Third, I'm more informed. I don't use Reddit as the news source I used to, relying more on the news apps in my phone. This may not seem important to some of the people here, but for a journalism student like myself, it's pretty important to be on top of the news. For example, I know that the current president of Brazil is in trouble over accusations of bribing a witness in a corruption investigation. I know that default rates are up for credit cards and auto loans, while the rates are slightly down for student loan defaults despite a still-rising number of defaults in the area. I also know that they're investigating a high-ranking White House adviser for ties to Russia. Though I'm still very perplexed as to why the f*ck fidget spinners are a thing.
    Fourth, and I think the only negative thing I've noticed, is that I still occasionally listlessly browse YouTube. I didn't have much interest in the BS dank-memes dominated portion of the internet, but once I go down the rabbit hole of random movie clips, I'm occupied for hours. All while I could work on writing a book, clean my room, or read a book I recently got from the library this week.
    Overall, I can see an improvement in my life without spending hours of the day gaming. But I still need something constructive to do with my time. And I haven't really found something to target the social aspect of gaming.
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  2. lvdw added a post in a topic The Daily Journal of lvdw   

    DAY...7, I THINK?
    And THAT is why you do these journals daily: so that you don't lose track of which number of days you're on.
    That said, today is Sunday. And Sunday is always, for whatever reason, the day that I just feel "blegh." Not sick, just fatigued and almost vegetative. When I did my gaming, I would always play games throughout the week and do my homework on Sunday. But the blegh feeling would almost always surface. Not sure if it's the fact that my parents "encourage" me to attend church with them (even though I don't really believe), or the interior design of the area outside the sanctuary that has a heavy reliance on the color red, or that my ADHD forces me to constantly move around the area. Or the lack of stimuli that the church has. I'm assuming the latter of that list, because writing this post seems to help subside it.
    So, what has been going on in the fugue state between my last post and this one? Well, I determined a good exercise schedule for me: jog early morning Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, before breakfast. Thanks to the C25K program, plus a good workout routine, I'm sure my ass will be the envy of many an Overwatch character (assuming the old saying "no pain, no gain" still rings true).
    Plus, I did work for two people, one on a volunteer basis, the second was paid. The volunteer work was at the aforementioned church, with me taking care of much of the electronic waste that was laying around. The paid work was helping out a family friend and recent widow take care of gardening. Both were relatively simple jobs, but gave me something to do this week.
    As for Duolingo and my attempts at daily meditation, I fell off the wagon of both. I haven't practiced Duolingo in a couple of days, and I didn't meditate once for the entire week. I'll try to be a bit more proactive this week in both.
    On the college and adulting side, I got a letter confirming my academic forgiveness for a failed first semester of community college, so my GPA now rests at a comfortable 3.4, and I can send my transcript to the university I applied to for a transfer. I'm still looking for a summer job, but I sent out my resume to a few different places, and have a few networking opportunities this week. And I still need to get a search underway for a new car to replace my Chevy (Piece Of) S10.
    This post is already quite long, but I should probably still detail my thoughts and insights from the past few days here. So, submitting this post as is, and adding my thoughts in a different post below.
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  3. lvdw added a post in a topic The Daily Journal of lvdw   

    DAY 2 (Late to post, I know)
    Well, today wasn't as productive as I would have liked, but I got some stuff done.
    I refilled my Concerta prescription. I now have roughly thirty days of productivity in my future.Returned overdue books to the library, repaid my fine, and got The Girl Who Played With Fire. I already read the first book, which I adored.Started an Arch Linux installation on my low-power laptop, then realized that I am WAY out of my element with Arch Linux. Settling for Manjaro instead, though I'm not a fan of the green. I'm planning to install Manjaro's KDE version on my desktop, but I have a stick with Windows 10 on it for the future if I choose to go back to gaming after the 90 days.Started the planning stage for a sci-fi novel.Returned the almost $100 worth of bottles our family had in our garage.Started Duolingo's curriculum for Spanish. Also planning to learn French and German. Because boredom.That said, I'm writing this journal entry on day 3. I'll try to post Day 3's entry before the day is done.
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  4. lvdw added a post in a topic The Daily Journal of lvdw   

    DAY 1
    Because I use computer counting. The original posting was a "Day 0."
    There's a video from Michael Stevens, also known as VSauce for his YouTube Red series, Mind Field. In said video, he puts himself in what is effectively a solitary confinement cell for three days. On the first day, he tries to do anything to keep himself entertained, be it boxing with the padded walls, doing pushups, counting, etc. Well, that is what today was for me.
    I have been so used to using gaming for a way to spend my time that taking it away just makes me feel very pent up with energy right now. Doesn't help that I struggle with ADHD and haven't filled my prescription in a while, so I'm a bit...wired.
    I have recently reactivated my RobinHood trading account (to the uninitiated, it's a zero-commission stock trading app), and made $21.82 in a single day, thanks to an investment in Snap, Inc. Not bad. Stock trading definitely caters to the constant measurable growth that gaming fulfills, but I'd need to become a regular day trader (which requires $20,000 to become) to really pursue it.
    On top of all that, my gaming desktop just sits on my desk, constantly humming. I'm fairly certain that I want to install Linux on it, and use the power to run various simulations, maybe take up video editing. There's not much on the subreddit that answers the question of what to do with a gaming desktop after quitting, other than selling it (which I could do with my Corsair peripherals, since they don't play very well with Linux).
    I'm planning to go out jogging at around 8:00 this evening (5:15 at the time of writing), mostly to work out the excess energy that built up over the day. ADHD is not simply being energetic, but being uncontrollably energetic to the point where it's impossible to do most tasks without Ritalin. Read you tomorrow.
    update: Just went for a jog. Went out about an hour later than I'd hoped at around 9:00. It certainly gets easier to jog, though.
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  5. lvdw added a topic in Daily Journals   

    The Daily Journal of lvdw
    Well, Cam recommends starting one of these, so...
    So what do I play games for? I guess I should look at each of the reasons Cam gives and evaluate each one, as well as possible hobby replacements.
    First, Temporary Escape. Without. A. Doubt. Whenever I got a free moment or two, I would sit in front of my computer and spend hours playing. I guess the best replacement is to switch over to reading. I haven't read anything for fun in years, so I think that's a good place to start.
    Second, Social Connection. Hmmm. I played single-player games primarily, and I don't keep up with many people outside of school to call my friends. But at the same time, gaming caused me to be far more withdrawn and asocial. So, what can I do as a hobby to meet people? Hmmm... I got nothing.
    Third, Constant Measurable Growth. Or CMG. Or OMG written with a pen running out of ink backwards. My ADHD means that I suck at feeling satisfaction at things that don't interest me, and the CMG constantly gives me a dopamine boost. So what can replace this? Either jogging (I started C25K recently) or stock market day trading simulators (is that a thing?).
    Fourth, Challenge, or mission or achievement or goal. Yes. It's actually why I don't play many goalless games like Minecraft (at least, not creative mode). I need something to strive towards. So my challenge? Get through university with Dean's List every semester. But for a hobby that can be considered a means to an end? Writing a book or starting a YouTube series, I suppose.
    • 12 replies
  6. lvdw added a post in a topic Obligatory Introduction Post   

    It was high for me as well, but as I said. I barely got that score, and again, community college.
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  7. lvdw added a topic in Start Here + Introductions   

    Obligatory Introduction Post
    Hello. My name is...well, my username is lvdw. And like many of you, I suck at not playing video games.
    In my case, much like Cam, I was never quite popular in high school. I felt incredibly isolated, and so turned to video games. Problem is, I never stopped turning to video games. It got to the point where I actually failed my first semester at community college because I spent so much time playing games and not much time studying or doing homework. It's been almost four years since then, and I've managed to complete enough credits at Community College to transfer to a university...right around the same time many of my old high school classmates are graduating.
    I am determined to complete my bachelor's within the decade, and make Dean's List every semester. But I have determined that I can NOT do it while I have problems with gaming. I barely got a 3.5 GPA this past semester at community college, in part due to my late night gaming sessions.
    I want to stop feeling like a fucking failure.
    • 4 replies