I realized that today is actually 90 days since I started my journal. My goal is accomplished, but I won't celebrate as much. I'm happy about that, but I do not want to go into euphoric state about that. In my mind, I wanted to accomplish a life time absence from games. The 90. The number was just to trick my mind that, it is not so long to do so, but I know now that I do not need to trick it now. I am not saying that I'm completely free, nor that I will never go back to gaming. I have still dreams at night about me playing games, which is really confusing, because I do not want it, when I am awake now. There are still "dangerous" situations such as ads with game trailers or generally talking about games, which triggers sometimes my memories. My goal is to avoid them, to do what I love despite the fact that it would be hard sometimes, to be thankful for all the good things that happened to me, to be aware that every bad thing eventually leads to a good thing, listen more and be more empathetic and finally work hard for all your goals, because I do not really know, how much I am going to live. This is maybe not enjoyable topic to speak, but we will eventually die. It could be due to a natural death or due to other circumstances. There are so many people who commit suicide oh my God. I do not want to fear myself about that, nor some readers here. I just wanted to say that I want to live to the fullest, then I must to realize that life is short and eventually it will end. I want to use every day - literally EVERY DAY to be more happier, to be better at cooking, at exercising, at realizing that there are so many things that I want to explore, to visit, to experience, to touch, to hear, to see, to feel, to be present in todays moment, to be aware what I am doing, to know which direction I am heading. When I played games, more than a half of this things does not even bothered me and I do not want to go back to this state! I literally do not have second life. I just felt that I need to write all this things. Maybe I will need this in future, so I wrote it here in my dairy as some sort of reminder. I will continue to write some of the ups and downs of mine, because it is a form of exercise to my brain to stay in that state of no-gaming and I really want to stay here. cheers Chris
YES. Actually that was my realization too after a while, that I was pretty bad in game called LIFE. And I realized that I will play my game till the end of my life (I'm the character of this super realistic RPG) so I have plenty (relatively speaking - we do not really know, how much we are going to live) of time to develop my best skills and it is said that to master certain skill you need "only" ten years, which in the span of life are not that much of a time. I like the whole painting. In my opinion good hand-made painting cannot substitute the one which was created in photoshop. Looking forward for your drawing Best wishes
Hi, What you are saying about games is right, they are easy to learn and it is really easy to be a gamer, because there are simple rules, you start with some sort of plan or scenario in which you just "pull the strings" and everything makes sense and you have progression in your deeds, which means for example, that you won't fight a endgame boss with 1 lvl character, but as you said: and at the end you said: I think this path will led you to quite opposite to what you are feeling now. I think you will start doing things that you love and you will enjoy every minute of your life! I wish you all the best. And by the way, when you said "Blessings from the RNG gods" I smiled you have elegant way to express yourself. Is that your drawing in your profile picture? Looks very interesting.
Hi, If you did not specify what you want to learn, it could be a lot of topics really. Personally, for job purposes I picked: https://www.codecademy.com/ For acquiring some skills in perl, bash and little bit of java (there are other coding languages as well). It is mostly free and lessons are progressive, so it is really possible to learn coding language from a scratch. And mind you, those are not lectures or slides, you start to code from lesson 1, which I like very much. I always teach myself better through something that I did, but it is highly individual for everyone so does for You. For mental or mind exercises (mostly for manage feelings better not to train, for example memory) I picked app for android (and maybe for other OS as well) called Headspace. It is partially free. IN version with subscription (monthly payment) you have a LOT topics to cover in mind training.
100% agree. I think this is a gold nugget that everyone should look, when it comes to self discipline and self acceptance. When I played games a lot and watching movies a lot, I thought that to make huge changes in life, you should be like a super hero, just smash through all the problems, beat yourself to 100%, accomplish the impossible task in one day or so and get reward and finally live long and happy. Now, I think in most of the cases it is quite opposite. Sometimes as you said, you cannot beat or face the problem now, the real winning, the real "gold medal" is when you carefully and with patient go further and further, without unrealistic pressure, when you have space for failing and accepting those fails as a part of a winning process later on. Christopher Sommer famous gymnastics coach, said: "If I told you to write a 365 page book for me; you’d immediately think it was not possible or start to stress about all the work it would take. But If I asked you to write 1 page per day for 1 whole year- it would seem a bit easier or at least more obtainable." I think he wants to say that consistency gives better results (in some cases just GIVES results, because people gave up just on start) than overworking with impossible tasks. I'm glad that you are doing a lot better than before, that only encourages me and probably others to leave far behind video games and start the real life and stay in that state as long as possible. Cheers.
Thank you @Mettermrck for your support and for all the people who are reading this! Days after vacations were pretty hard to swallow. A lot of housework and unsolved problems in work made me feel really bad. I manage to find extra hours inside busy day, but it was really hard on mind and feelings. It is really frustrating feeling, when you know, that you will not be able to do, all the things that you have planned, but you cannot hesitate in doing them, to not make it worse. At the end of the week, thankfully I found a spare moment to do what I like, which is exercising. Still it was not so much time, but anyways I was happy about that. Today, I did what I had to, so I'm a little bit more relaxed. Still, when I was in that critical (in managing time) situation I tried to do some meditation. Eventually I failed on several days, but I manage to make a session, when I was waiting for a bus, which was pretty awkward to close my eyes, when people sitting near, was watching. Well, sometimes I guess, it looks just like that. Not everything will be perfect. In this case nothing really was perfect, but I'm happy that I did not broke down. I'm feeling excitement about bouldering session tomorrow with friends, I hope it will be as fun as usual. Have a nice weekend!
Long time no see, due to mini vacations in Bieszczady! Still not playing games, I started to see different behavior of mine. I'm much more open to others. I made some interactions with people, I talked to strangers on different topics, I played volleyball with girls, that I never met before. Hiking, fresh air, seen so many different places and everyday it was hunger for more to see. Unfortunately there was some worries that whenever I ended up vacations in the past I jumped hard straight to gaming, when I was coming back to home and I was afraid of this feeling again. Thankfully it did not happened to me. During vacations I still had some desire to play a game, because I started to talk about old days with friends and playing games was involved in that case. My friends naturally don't play games now (some of them occasionally) so it is easy not to talk about that, but all in all, it is still part of our past. 80th day and still improving myself to be better person. Cheers everyone.
I like how you have "go to" plan that you want to execute and who do you want to be. That's awesome. By this post I'm sure you get already much respect from others, thanks for sharing this, I hope you will achieve what you want fully, cheers!
13-14.06.2017 - Had some health issues not that serious, I have heard accidentally about new game coming about, so I had some thoughts about gaming, but it wasn't really bothering me. It came and I didn't payed attention that much to this, and it lefts my brain. All in all, even if I wanted to play, I couldn't because I don't have my gaming laptop anymore. Haha checkmate addiction! 15.06.2017-16.06.2017 - I'm really antisocial person, but I'm really happy about the fact that I met new person and I didn't hesitate as I use to do, to be a little bit open to new friendships, we talked we laughed we have been pretty opened to each other. 17.06.2017 - 18.06.2017 - (17.06) Was really typical day nothing happened, I worked, I was tired and I fell asleep pretty early on and I'm happy today (18.06) that I didn't stayed late watching tv - at least I have energy for upcoming rock climbing day.
Hi again, 04.06.2017 - I went climbing and was shocked that all the buddies were at the place, just too much fun 05-08.06.2017 - was really fast forwarding days I was focused on my nutrition and diet plan, work, excercises and really didn't have time to think about games. I wasn't even sleeping that much during these days. 09.06.2017 - I don't eat sweet things on regular days, just because that I feel worse after eating them (physically more than mentally) and somehow they tend to make me lazy for the rest of the day, so it's a lose-lose thing to do. Unfortunately, one of our work employees was leaving, so his wife baked a pie for everyone at the last day of his work. It was so delicious, oh my goodness, but after that I get very lazy and after work I just watched videos on youtube for the rest of the day, and I wasn't happy with my decision. I tried to not worry about it so much, but it really bothered me. 10.06.2017 - I had some plans going to the pool with my friend eventually it evolved into pool - some eating - and again water but on the lake. Wow it was so calming. The light breeze from lake, happy people, some dudes riding on a motorboat having a good time, lots of sun, clean mild-cold water, people having barbeque in woods nearby, really awesome day.
11.06.2017 - again, I was dreaming about breaking the 90 day detox, which it doesn't make sense, because I don't really have any cravings whatsoever and still being dreaming about that. Today I'm going rock climbing. I'm a little bit excited, because there will be new routes that I can challenge! And of course my colleagues will be there too. 56th day greetings Chris ps. I'm not really sure if it works, but I added a picture of duck and ducklings, that I saw at the lake for no reason.
Hey @Schwing, Being selfish is not bad thing nor good thing. You write about the negatives of being selfish as you see through your "pair of glassess", but look, believe it or not, it's the matter of perspective. When you see or experience an accident, what is the first step you do? Be sure to secure YOURSELF. That is kind of a selfish statement, but you cannot help others if you are not capable to help. You cannot give, if you cannot have. You cannot give love, if you don't love yourself, if you don't accumulate it for yourself. Same goes with nature - little children when they get a toy they don't share it with other kids (naturally without pressure), they go to the corner and explore everything that it has to offer for them and then if they ready they give it to someone else. What I was trying to say that now, your You it is what it is. It's not bad or good. It's just being You. Everyone is constantly changing, so do You. Maybe now your inner self is manifesting what it is needed right now. Listen to your inner self is always subjectively bad or good for others, but it doesn't matter. I read couple other journals and yours is very original it manifest You in very raw way. I like it. Absolutely no 'filter' in what your trying to say Keep it up, especially for yourself. Cheers
Thank you for all the replies, as always @hycniejsy you are the "glue" for this community as I see. So commited to help others, thank you for your input and for reminding. I'm doing pretty well. @Reno F yes, what you are saying is right. I realised that many people out there who achieved great success was in the community of people which was oriented in same destination and now I see why it is so powerful, because now I don't struggle as much with creating antigaming lifestyle. @giblets thank you for your kind words and yes I write it for myself, but anyways it will be as simple as possible. it will be based on my paper journal: 21.05.2017 - it was sunny, I met with my friend we spent actively time at the pool, and then we went on walking, we ate some good food and I didn't have time even to think about games, 22-23.05.2017 - I was working, spending some nice time after work, nothing really bothered me, 24.05.2017 - 01.06.2017 - my health went down and I was spending lots of time after work in home, not really feeling good physically nor mentaly. Sometimes I had cravings for gaming, but in terms of just shifting my mind towards something else. Eventually I was frustrated. Before went to sleep I was really mad on myself that my health went worse I work hard for to be clean in eating and it's frustrating that it isn't enough sometimes, but I shifted my mind towards better cooking. I hate cooking and at the same time I like cooking. I don't like doing new recipes, but I forced myself to do this. Eventually I discovered some nice recipes, my health slowly began to be better. 02.06.2017 - I have sold my gaming laptop and now I have average laptop mainly for work and doing some notes, documents. I had some regretting thoughts, but at the same time special feeling that another chapter was closed. 03.06.2017 - I stayed at home, day wasn't really special. My health is good - I'm really happy about that. I don't feel bad or good, but it is stable. I'm looking forward for 04.06 when I go to rock climbing gym with my colleages from work. AND for the most important part from 2 days straight I didn't have any dream at night related to gaming! I think I'm getting on the right track.
That's a great topic. I felt the same. What helped me to overcome boredom was eating, while squatting, sitting cross-legged or just generally sitting on the floor with plate in your one hand and fork/spoon in other hand (that's very weird for other people who watch you for sure, but as you said you live alone so... :)) of course you have to prepare your meals in that matter to not use knife (make small chunks of meat before eating for example). It shifts your mind towards this strange, but pleasant feeling. You can also just eat in front of the window to watch kids playing in playground for example, that would be easy "progression" towards "just" eating. (I try that on shiny days sometimes :)) Greetings Chris
Hi everyone, 16.04.2017 I have started my 90 days detox. Until now I didn't wrote a journal per say. I started Journal on paper, but I go full detail in it, like what I eat, how my body feels what did I do. I do not want to copy it here because: 1. It is not the topic of this forum, 2. You would be bored to death after reading this and for me it would not be necessary, because I have it on the paper, 3. In terms of writing I'm not a fan of a keyboard and mouse I would rather pick a pen and paper, Instead of this I want to share some simple emotions as hycniejsy suggested, maybe interesting things that I experience and maybe some dark moments. Feel free to comment. I wish you the best in your journeys.
Today is 35th day without gaming. Today is I would say "easy" day. It is nice sunshine outside and it's warm, no clouds and it's weekend. I like that. I'm in good mood. I went for shopping and I saw so many happy people.