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thomas

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About thomas

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  • Birthday 09/08/1999

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  1. thomas added a post in a topic Starting now   

    thanks alot for the amazing comments.
    don't worry, i can't
     
    its not so much the positive emotions, but i think that might contribute in the form of fear of success or something. that i want my goal and dream to stay a dream. 
    what is most difficult for me is loneliness. i am lonely. 
    i do hang out with friends from time to time, but i dont feel like it's enough. i have days, especially days where i dont have school, where i want to be with someone and have fun, but no one is available. when that happens i feel abandoned. i know its normal for friends to be busy and i do not want them to prioratize me over others, but i need people to be with aswell, you know? 
    sigh... 
    gaming is an escape, and i am really good at it too. 
    hard to explain what i feeling right now. i definetly feel sorry for myself, embarassing.
    all i have for you now, i think updating here daily will help. thank you SO much for the comments, they were lovely <3 
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  2. thomas added a post in a topic Starting now   

    i am playing videogames at the moment. feels like i have let you down. 
    today i had one my best training sessions ever and when i got home i started playing. 
    lately it has just been too much for me.
     
    anyways, after meditating every day for over 6 months, i have become much more aware of my life and the present mment and so on. what i am trying to say is that i can already FEEL that i dont want to do this, but kind of need to right now i guess. 
    i have gotten another job as a parkour trainer, and maybe this is the fear of success kicking in, i dont know. 
    i need a break from this self-actualization for a bit. i am keeping my meditation habit though.
     
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  3. thomas added a post in a topic Starting now   

    guysssssssss. im gettin urges again. this is pathetic... 
    writing this a while after this times "rock bottom" so i see the humor in it.
    i am currently rationalizing to myself that it is ok to game because its fun, and you know, what's fun is good because it makes you happy right? anyhow, Cam's/your video on how relapsing wont change anything really really really REALLY is a huge motivation. it cuts through all the crap and tells the truth, that you got bigger problems on your hands now.
    furthermore (got that word from my essaywriting), i am telling myself that there is no problem in moderate gaming, as long as it doesnt affect my training and so on. BUT! i read about a guy, and i think he was from norway aswell, who started gaming a little bit, and then fell into a full on relapse, playing 8-10 hours per day. so i guess its true that gaming is fine if it doesnt affect other areas of my life, but that is rarely the case, i tend to become absorbed. 
    one more thing! i am playing chess atm. online... i am using this as an escape i know, it fulfills my need for mesurable growth as well as challenge and so on. i kinda dont want to quit playing chess, probably because i am afraid of what i would fill this time with. i am playing a fair bit, not like before of course, but 4-5 hours a week? not sure really. but it is probably too much already. board-chess is fine, i know <3
    fml and have a good day <3 
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  4. thomas added a post in a topic Starting now   

    this is all happening (i think) because i am currently sick and unable to practice/train. being sick really attacks my ability to work on my purpose and mission and this is where the gaming addiction attacks. i am working towards becomming a worldclass master in parkour/movement and having my own training gym. i am going to travel the world making videos and having fun training <3
    i am going to do this, it isnt just wishfull thinking
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  5. thomas added a post in a topic Starting now   

    I want to start gaming again. runescape looks like so much fun...
    sooo yeah, over a year since quitting i still get big urges. 
    i dont go well with videogames though, it is destructive and i cannot control myself so i wont try.
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  6. thomas added a post in a topic Starting now   

    My dad sent me this unrelated to any videogames or anything, but it struck me. i can relate to the feeling of hopelessness from gaming and wanting it to stop. enjoy the picture

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  7. thomas added a post in a topic One year! The truth   

    Thanks alot, much luck to you as well  
    Thank you, i am glad it helped. a thing to note if you are just starting out: a relapse is not worth it, you think that it will make you happy but it wont, you just feel worse, remind yourself of that when you have cravings. been there done that, not fun. and good luck! i believe that if i can do this, anyone can. i was (am, sort off) as addicted as anyone else.
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  8. thomas added a post in a topic One year! The truth   

    That really warmed my heart <3 It actually became warmer, wierd. maybe that's where the saying comes from then  
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  9. thomas added a topic in Celebrate   

    One year! The truth
    Hello, two weeks ago i had my 1 year anniversary of quitting games, i can safely say it is the most difficult thing i have done in my entire life, it is the effort i am most proud of. i am glad i did this. hopefully this will inspire at least one of you.
    the first week of stopping is the worst, the withdrawal symptoms are rude to you! not only do you want to game, this disease plays tricks on your mind,telling you that you cannot do it, that gaming isnt that bad and so on, so you relapse. the disease targets your weakest parts, your social anxiety, your virginity, lack of friends, no hobbies, and tell you that there is no hope, so you relapse. 
    however there IS hope, you can go outside, you can make friends, you can get a girlfriend, you can get a job, you can do it, you can quit gaming. the first week goes by and you are feeling great, you are high on the "im quitting" drug. then comes the low, you want to play again when the weekend comes, or worse, a vacation. still got no friends or hobbies, you just filled your time doing the "one time" activities that you knew of, but nothing permanent. 
    you perservere. a month goes by and you have only had minor urges, nothing dramatic. you are starting to earn your stimulation, you realise that your body is done collecting dust in front of the computer, so you work out. this helps for a couple of days, then comes another high, this time on the "look at me i am working out" drug. then another low. you dont want to work out, and since this was your go-to activity now, you are bored, stuck at home. you dont want to go outside, even though the sun is shining. massive urges approach. the disease targets you weak parts again, still virgin, i knew this wouldn't work, not even getting stronger, fuck this...
    another month goes by, and another. you reach 90 days. extatic, you feel the momentum jumping up a couple of notches. whenever you wanna game, you tell yourself "but i did 90 days, cant quit now" so you dont. you have found your activity that you like, whenever you are bored, you do it. however you dont though... sometimes you just want to relax, no training, but no gaming, how does that work out?
    six months. not THAT special, you got a girlfriend, no longer a virgin, got friends, getting good at your activity. things are nice. all of this from just six months?
    9 months no games and another low hits... loneliness strikes fucking hard. you want to binge on gaming, and you do... to a certain extent you failed, you did play games for a couple of days, but you realised that this isnt what you want so you quit again. am i back to 0? nah. but you have to start the momentum train again, and its tough in the beginning. however this time you know the pitfalls, how you feel after you start relapsing, so you have the tools to avoid it next time.
    1 year. 50 hours gaming this year, "its alot better than the 2-3 or 4 thousand from last year". you and your girlfriend break up, isnt that bad, however you spent alot of time with her, now what do you fill it with? not gaming right? but from 10 years of gaming, it is still your default go-to filler. you dont though, you are committed to never play a single game again. you figure it out, more training. will i ever get a new girlfriend? will i have sex again? "i just got lucky with her..." "im not even attractive", "im not good with women". you catch yourself, these are only thoughts, you try getting a girlfriend now, everyone rejects you. feels bad man. however this time, it isnt that bad, it is only a girl. if she doesnt like me, i wouldnt want to be with her anyway. but she was hot and i want sex. well fuck. 
    10 days ago. started nofap. gotta fix this issue with relationships and sex and porn and masturbation. previous record is 10 days as a bet. one week on pure motivation. nofap isnt that bad, dont need porn or orgasms to stay alive. loneliness strikes again. still want a girlfriend, not sure its because i want to fill the hole of not having sex or the hole of not having someone to rely on and to cuddle with. cannot get one... you have stuck your neck out for two girls now after the breakup, no luck. "am i even attractive?". you sink into what you think might be a depression, however you are not sure. it wasnt a depression. feel good now.
    present:
    what i am trying to tell you is that this sircle never stops. in the end of this journey the problem will not even be gaming, you will have moved on to bigger problems. that being said, the urges are always there, they never went away for me at least, you just learn to cope with them better and better. this is not a sunshine story, i went through alot of ups and downs but that's life! i would not trade this for anything else, i like where i am at the moment, i see a good future ahead, without gaming.
    love you Cam, i know i say this alot, but man you changed my life. i knew i had to quit gaming, but had no idea how, you showed me the way over the biggest hurdle in my life so far. this (gaming) being such a core issue in my life, i have had to improve every single aspect of it in order to "conquer" the addiction. this made me a much better person, thank you.
    • 7 replies
    • 277 views
  10. thomas added a topic in Found   

    17 YO male looking for a fellow teenager, any gender :-)
    Hello!
    My name is Thomas and i want a partner in all of this haha, someone i can get to know and share experiences with  my goals are:
    Stop watching youtube,
    No gaming,
    Nofap,
    train alot in my sport
    and meet new girls.
    I am from Norway and looking for someone to hold me accountable not only for my gaming but other goals, and vice-versa. as far as communication goes, a simple chat on messenger (or similar) will do just fine, skyping every once in a while would also be benefittial.
    If anyone is interested, hit me up! 
    • 3 replies
    • 185 views
  11. thomas added a post in a topic 19/M looking for a partner   

    Hello KO, I am a 17 year old male. if you like, we could be partners  
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  12. thomas added a post in a topic I never knew gaming was this bad!   

    Another Norwegian! Welcome!
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  13. thomas added a post in a topic Starting now   

    Thank you very much, that was just what i needed to hear. you put my thoughts into words :-) 
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  14. thomas added a post in a topic My Road to Success   

    Hello fellow Norwegian  late happy birthday from me haha. good job on getting twelve days! I have found that the longer you go without gaming, there more momentum you get, you can then use that momentum to stay away for even longer  
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  15. thomas added a post in a topic Starting now   

    Oh my.
    It has been a year since i first posted here. as far as the update goes: I am still not gaming, HOWEVER, i have played a little bit of browser/facebook games lately, though i just quit those too. i have never been this good in parkour in my life, I even got a job as a parkour trainer at my local open gym!! i have taken up rock-climbing and Aikido as i feel those reflect my personality. 
    I have grown alot in the past year, more so than ever before in my life, cannot even believe it myself. 4 months of daily meditation and still going. right now i am going through a low in my life, it is just a phase, but i feel the urge to lock my self up, play video games and eat junk. we all experience this as far as i know. one thing that is really comforting is the fact that i am only 17 years old. when i think of my life purpose (which i am currently figuring out, almost got it btw) i think that i have to do it right away. when the fact is that i (probably) have several decades to complete whatever i wish. one goal is spiritual enlightenment, which is where the meditation comes in. but yeah, i have time.
    thank you everyone, if it werent for all of you and this site i wouldnt be able to quit even though i felt i needed to <3 see you next year or if i relapse (jokes)  
     
    PS: I just re-read all the posts on this topic, and found some interesting stuff to comment on. Cam: you recomended "the power of habit" a while ago, and i recently borrowed it from a friend, really interesting .
    another thing, me and my girlfriend broke up two weeks ago and i am unsure how i feel about it. we werent really doing great in our relationship, however we had no common interests and i felt i wasn't growing anymore from the relationship, so we broke up ( i initiated the break up, but it was a mutual decision if you get me  ). the problem is that i am now going through this "did i make a mistake?" "i will never get a new girl who likes me" and all of this. becuase she was nice! really kind you know? just want to let you know. heck. you guys probably know more about this than i do. how do you cope with this kind of stuff?
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