April 28, 2017 - 50 DAYS WITHOUT GAMING!
So today I have reached the 50-day milestone, and I'm proud of it. I'm always talking about celebrating these milestones, but I actually never do that. Thought about doing something special today, and I've decided to give you a little history lesson about the reasons which made me got addicted to games, but also how my past shaped me to who I am today.
When I was 12 years old I got severe acne problems, mostly on my face. I got bullied because of it, but the worst thing wasn't even the bullying. The worst thing was that people were even sometimes shunning me. That was the thing that hurt me the most. All of this made me very insecure about myself, and I lost my trust in people. This is something which I still take with me, and which I really need to learn to let go. That's only easier said than done.In the summer of 2004 or 2005, I got a Playstation 2 for my birthday. From that day, all the pocket money that I received was spent by buying new games. Since there was a store in the mall which sold second hand games, I got to buy many games for less money. I started to use gaming as an escaping method, wanting to escape from the real world. I hated almost everything and everyone, and I started to isolate myself from that real world. The world in the Role Playing Games which I really liked to play were a much better place to be.In 2007 I hoped to make a brand new start when I got to community college (I think that is how it's called) to learn about marketing. But nothing changed, and the people there were just as bad as they were on secondary school. I quit that school in 2008 and started to work.I actually got a job from October 2008 to April 2009, and it paid much better than the jobs which many of the people in my age group did. Money almost seemed to be growing on trees. I bought myself new shoes/sneakers every month, got myself the latest games, and during that period I probably also bought my XBox 360. The thing I did with buying games for the PS2, I also did for the XBox 360. Buy many games, for less money.After the summer of 2010, I went to community college again to study social work. Because I was about three years older than many of the other people in the class, I learned to let go of my insecurity a little bit. But I got bored with the lessons. Because we had to bring our laptop to class, I started to play games in class with a few other people. We had to do something. You might think that my grades weren't very good during that time, but you might want to reconsider those thoughts, since my grades were perfect. December 2010 was the month in which I got irritated about the childish behavior of about 95% of my fellow students, I really got bored with the lessons, and I heard that teachers were gossiping about students to other students and teachers. I roughly said that they could fuck themselves, and in February 2011, I quit again.In January 2012 I got a new job. The work was kind of boring, but I really liked the team which I worked with. I got better at the job and in a short period of time, I was one off the best employees. The same month, I started to write again. I built my first website/blog on Wordpress, and I started to write. I still played video games, but somehow I played way less than before. As of today, I still don't know what slowly made my gaming addiction go away. It took some time before it really was gone, but every small step was one step closer. I think that it was in 2014 when I really had overcome my gaming addiction.In 2016 and the start off 2017, I started to buy a lot of games again. I haven't been addicted to playing video games for some years now, but I got addicted to buying games again, and I got kinda scared that I would get a relapse. Because I wasn't really feeling good about myself, I thought that the relapse would probably win, and that I would be taken back to a gaming addiction again. That is why I decided to stop buying video games, and to sell that games which I didn't really play.March 2017 I saw one off Cam's videos, and I decided to join this forum. I started writing this journal at the 15th of March, on which I already hadn't been playing video games for six days.April 1st the New York Times wrote an article which stated that you can't get addicted to playing video games. This article made me very mad, and it felt like I got joked about. That is why I decided to write a book about gaming addiction, and how you can get rid off it.April 20th I had an interview for a new job, and I got it. So at May 22nd I will start at my new job.This is a rough timeline off my gaming addiction. I might have forgotten about something, but if I forgot about it, it wasn't important anyway . I still have to live with my insecurity and my distrust in people, but I'm taking steps in the right direction. Every small step is one step closer to becoming the best version of myself.