Everything posted by Circle
Circle added a topic in Daily JournalsCircle's JournalDay 6
Life has already improved for me. Gaming took up so much of my time and energy that everything else in my life suffered. I'm sure everyone here knows what it's like to never REALLY stop playing games, even when you're away from the computer. When you game like we do (did), you think about it all the time, going through strategies and narratives, aching to get back to the comfortable world inside your favourite games when at work, school or play. Staying up until the middle of the night to game more and more, and then having your brain continue those same game-related thoughts as you sleep, leaving you exhausted in the morning
I can't say I've done anything productive, really, in the past 6 days. But my mind is facing outward now, towards the real world. I've felt myself naturally engaging with people more, listening to music in a way and a rate I haven't been able to do for years, and even when I do stay up too late, I'm much less tired than if I'd been up gaming. I feel quicker, happier and more creative.
I'm still procrastinating, wasting time on mindless browsing, smoking too much weed, etc. But my mental energy is no longer trapped inside a gameworld and it's being used in much healthier ways. My schedule is no longer based around how I can maximize my screen time by minimizing everything else. I've tried many times to quit marijuana and failed, in no small part to being triggered by gaming, as well as the fact that so many people around me smoke. I'm not surrounded by gamers, so the temptation is rarely brought up in social situations. It's made me realize how destructive gaming really was for me; there are actually some productive and creative things I can do while I'm high. But if I'm gaming, I'm gaming and gaming alone.
Building new habits, including cutting back on marijuana, is the next step for me. But this was a very important first step in removing the largest and least healthy obsession in my life. I'm grateful to myself for keeping myself at least somewhat afloat all these years. My university GPA is very good,my options are still open, and I'm in decent shape, if a lot less muscular than I was at one point. But I'm more grateful that I've found this place and managed to grab ahold of my life before I gamed it out of existence.
My short-term goals are:
Catching up/preparing for university courses. Speaking to advisors and professors and developing a plan for the next few years and after university.
working out 30 min - 1 hour a day
learning french every day (started a few online apps to refresh my basic french, then would like to sign up for a course)
developing songs I've had bouncing around in my head for years and years
writing 4-5 times a week
Practicing bass/drums 4-5 times a week.
Thanks to everyone who is reading and good luck to us all!
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Circle added a topic in Start Here + IntroductionsNew MemberHi everyone, 28 year old gamer here. started first playing games around 6 or 7, I'd say by juniour high i was around 3 hours a day. That ballooned to 5+ by graduation from high school and continued to the present day. My life has essentially revolved around pot and gaming for a very long time. I've used it as an escape from anxiety, depression, work, social pressures, teasing/bullying, almost always thinking It's just going to be for another day or two. Also pretty common for me to spend over 10 hours in front of the computer on days like Sunday where I have the whole day off.
It's cost me sleep, relationships, and happiness. Definitely has held back my potential in many ways. I'm in university and have always been an A student but outside of class I'm almost always gaming. It has filled the void which was meant for writing, music, studies and love, all things I hardly pursue outside of when I am forced to these days. I've largely kept it a secret from my family. My father's reaction to everything was to yell which did absolutely nothing. My Mom would break down in tears if she knew how much of my life I've wasted and how I never asked her for help.
I fell in love with gaming because of the stories. My favourite games were always ones which did new and interesting things with the medium and had engrossing characters. But if my life doesn't change soon I am facing a lifetime of health problems, loneliness and dissatisfaction.
I don't know if I'm quitting tonight, but I had another addiction which I kicked when I had to and the online community was invaluable. I hope to do the same with this one.
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