You're going through the same thoughts and feelings we all did in the early stages. Stick with it, it gets easier. Don't fall for making excuses to game. You got this. Stay busy, find things to do around the house. Read a book, work on projects, go work-out, or take the kids outside. Even your thoughts of gaming in the future will change. You're going to find other and better things to do. It's true what Cam says about the mind changing. Your priorities will change, gaming will interest you less and less every day. The key is to stay busy, and get rid of all the temptations. Delete everything on your computer game related. Delete everything on your phone game related. Keep writing in your journal. You're not alone in this journey. It's a path many before you have already laid down, but the trail is slippery and sometimes requires holding on with steadfast determination.
Much of what you've written about in your journal feels very familiar. Your life, your feelings, your journey. Stay positive, stay committed, and the journey will become easier with time. Stay busy, complete those old projects. Good for you for being involved with your family and wife, keep it up. There are only gains here, nothing to lose, only positive changes. Recognize the downs for what they are: part of the experience. They don't last long and they get shorter and easier to deal with. Keep up with your journal. During the beginning it's the most important tool you have to stay steady. Game Quitters is the narcan you need to free yourself of your addiction.
DAY # - 48 through 74 (April 25th) Summary: Life has changed. I've begun to settle in to a new normal. I go to bed much earlier, get up earlier and am much more productive around the house and yard. I'm getting things done now, completing projects and moving on to new projects without blinking. I told the wife the other day, "I don't know how I had time for gaming before with everything that needs to be done." Her response: "You didn't get much done before..." Ha, ever blunt and to the point. She's right though, can't fault her for that. I've thought back on occasion to the days I'd spend doing little else but gaming. I remember the negative effects it used to have: shorter temper, shorter attention span, lack of interest in real life, and lack of motivation in all non-game related activities. I've begun to wonder if I can ever sit down and play a recreational game without slipping back in to the bad habits. I've begun to wonder if I care to. I think more clearly now, I'm more focused, and my old drive has returned. My productivity has soared. It's interesting to reflect on the changes and realize they are all attributed to one previous aspect of my life: gaming. I pray those beginning their own journey have as much success as I've had. Don't give in, be critical of yourself, be patient, and you too will find your new normal. Life is not only better without gaming for myself; but also for those around me. Sixteen days left, but I don't plan to stop there...Thank-you Cam; what you've done here makes a difference. Be proud of yourself. 10-8 at my 42.
DAY # - 35 through 47 (March 29th) Summary: Well, it's been another couple of weeks and here I find myself past the mid-way point of the 90 day challenge. I have to say, there's been ups and downs, but mostly ups. The desire to play a game is still there but much more easily managed. I've been taking my karate training much more seriously and am progressing well. The main thing holding me back is my flexibility, or lack thereof. Most of the classes are full of younger folk, but I'm sticking with it as my goal is a lifetime of karate with my son(s). I still feel a bit silly being the old guy in the class but it has helped to teach me humility. I am getting a lot of benefits out of it: more exercise in my life, increasing my flexibility, challenging my body and mind. I think these are things we tend to let go of as we grow older, at least in the American culture. I lost my dad when I was fourteen to a heart attack and I think about him often. How things would have been different, if I would have been different. Then I think about my own four wonderful children and how I don't want to put them through the same pain and loss at such a young age. I feel it's a parent's job to raise their children, and that means sticking around long enough to do it. Get off the couch, and get active. Move more, eat healthier, play with your kids. Otherwise, you may wake up one day to find they no longer want to play with you. Unintentionally (or maybe intentionally), Game Quitters has facilitated much more personal reflection. I'm ashamed of myself for all the lost time, but driven to improve upon myself and leave my mark on this world. Be a positive impact on others, be kind, be empathetic. Be a strong person, stand up for what you believe in, defend those who cannot defend themselves. We are a community, we are one. 10-8 at my 42.
DAY # - 26 through 34 (March 16th) Time I woke up: 0830 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 0030 Exercise: Been staying steady with karate, practicing Kata quite a bit. Mental task: A lot of kata, a lot of reading. Projects: General honey-dos, yard work, etc etc. Miscellaneous accomplishments: Completed my yearly goal for work.Karate.Getting ready for Spring.Work work work work.Summary of Day: After more than a week away, I thought it best to update my journal. No, I haven't relapsed or anything, I've merely been extremely busy. I'm no longer on paternity leave and combining getting caught up with a month of work and other work-related tasks which were pouring in, I found myself very very busy. I've hardly even been on my computer, too busy with other things. My work schedule also changed which has taken me some time to get used to. I've gone through a few moments when I longed for gaming but it quickly passed. Honestly, I was just intending on checking Game Quitters really quickly before heading to work again when I noticed Simms' above comment. It made me feel updating my journal important, even if I can't get to it as often as before. That's part of what this is all about, correct? Getting away from the computer and finding yourself busy through other, more important means. Guess it's working. Actually, I know it's working, and I'm grateful. I've also regretfully failed to check in with my accountability partner during this whole time. So, after this journal entry, it's the first thing I'm going to do. Sorry partner, I hope you're doing well. What I am grateful for today: ~ Simms' push. ~ Being busy. ~ Seeing Cam's program work within myself.
Prevent burnout: Everyone goes through a burnout now and then. If you don't, you don't have a real job. Sorry, but truth hurts. Pushing too hard: You should push yourself too hard, it shows you your limits and then hopefully you raise those limits and then look back later and laugh at your previous, weaker self. Oncoming burnout: Plan. Have something planned and in the works. Vacation, working out, hanging with friends, exercise. Me, I fish.
Time I woke up: 0730 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 2330 Exercise: Yard work 1hr. Mental task: Kata, reading. Projects: Worked on camper. Miscellaneous accomplishments: Ran errands.Replaced porch light on camper.Filled up a couple propane tanks.Cleaned limbs out of back yard.Summary of Day: Very windy today, hard to get much done outside. I did pick up some large limbs which broke off the neighbour's trees and fell in to my back yard. I then read a couple books to my middle boy and ran some errands with him. Stopped by the hardware store and bought some gear for the camper, including a new porch light which I began working on yesterday. Installed the new porch light with new led lights I also purchased. Incidentally the two led lights were more expensive than the porch light itself, in fact twice as expensive. Also filled up a couple propane tanks to start getting ready for camping season, can't wait. Read quite a bit today, only thought of gaming now and then. It's a good thing I uninstalled all games and gaming software b/c the temptation would be much greater. What I am grateful for today: ~ Upcoming camping season. ~ My new porch light install went well. ~ Fun days with the kids.
Time I woke up: 1200 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 0500 Exercise: 3 hrs of yard work. Mental task: Reading. Projects: Yard work. Miscellaneous accomplishments: Raked front lawn.Worked on camper.Cleaned front walk-way. Summary of Day: Got up and took the kids outside so the wife and baby could take a nap. Ended up doing a bunch of yard work, spring is starting to show. Also worked on the camper for a while; mainly removed a broken porch light and prepared the surface for the install of a new one tomorrow. I've definitely been more productive since I began this journey. Sometimes it's because I want to be, other times it's because I have to be. All-in-all, I'm valuing the benefits of leaving the gaming behind. What I am grateful for today: ~ Nice days to work outside. ~ The oncoming of spring. ~ Accomplished physical tasks.
Work. Summary of Day #: Spent most of my work day playing catch up and completing reports. Got a lot accomplished and am nearly caught up. Practiced my kata a bit as well. I find practicing my kata really helps my concentration and gives me focus. During the work week I really don't have time for much else. I haven't touched coding in days. Hopefully I can get back in to it soon.
Today was a memorable day, both good and scary. My partner and I did very well at annual certifications today; enough so to be proud. Near the end of certs I get a VM from the wife stating our daughter (6 years old today) possibly had a seizure at kindergarten and was on her way to the ER. Yea, scary stuff. The Doc believes it's nothing to worry about at this time unless she suffers additional episodes. For those who are willing, prayers her (Isabelle's) way, would be gratefully appreciated.
DAY # - 20 Time I woke up: 0700 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 2300 Exercise: 1 hr kata practice. Mental task: Read. Projects: Training. Miscellaneous accomplishments: Chores.Training.Kata.Summary of Day #: Woke up intending to have a busy day of training to prepare for tomorrow's annual certifications. However, ended up spending the day at home with my eldest son whom was sick. I did get a couple of hours of training in during the evening. Watched a movie with the family. What I am grateful for today: ~ My wife. ~ My kids. ~ My faith. ~ Karate. 10-8 at my 42.
DAY # - 19 Time I woke up: 0530 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 2300 Exercise: 1/2 hr run, 3/4 hr karate class. Mental task: Began learning a new kata. Projects: Errands. Miscellaneous accomplishments: Finished getting computer squared away.Fixed crack in bathroom door.Attended daughter's mini concert at her school.Went for a run.Karate class.Summary of Day #: Woke up to a computer which worked, so that was a plus. Got the kids off to school then sat down and did a little computer work. Ran out and got my hair cut, I was at the "either cut it or braid it" phase. Ran a bunch more errands. Smacked my hand hard against the bathroom door this morning, causing a crack. So, I learned how to fix a cracked, hollow-core door. Went to watch my daughter sing at a mini-concert put on by her school. It was a lot of fun watching her, and she loves the attention. Ran to my karate class tonight, and ran home, sucked both ways but I need the exercise. Karate class was pretty good, began working on my first kata. I feel extremely uncoordinated and clumsy in karate. It is definitely a lesson for the body and mind. It humbles you but makes you feel powerful all at the same time. What I am grateful for today: ~ My wife, I really am lucky to have her. ~ Watching my son in karate. ~ Watching my daughter sing. ~ Karate. 10-8 at my 42.