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  2. Day 120 22.07.19 Gratitude journal Today I am grateful for a day full of activities. Today I am grateful for the great weather. One amazing thing that happened/I did today 1) felt a little bit sick the whole the day but still went to the gym in the evening Workout/run more than 22k steps 1.5h workout at the gym Meditation 10min in the morning Visualisation and daily affirmation a bit of visualisation in the morning 🙂 Reading (1hour of studying for the exam today) had enough time for learning spanish and did 1 hour of slight studying my wake-up time 06:40 Weekly Goal(s) start waking up at 6:30am, study at between 5 and 8hours per day, have at least 2 perfect days in a row (still the same but maybe I am going on a break for studying this week we will see) Monthly Goal to study at least 4 hours a day (or as average over the weeks), be more grateful for everything in life, find the joy of living in the moment, think hard about my values and what kind of person I want to be, find ways to avoid falling back to old habits in times of boredom especially now in the summer 3 Month Goal getting my degree or getting it nearly done so that at least at the end of July I have it in my hands, having a really productive life, living my life so that I am proud of it What went well today: (NF:1/NW:0/NS:0/NC:36) had a bit time for spanish and meditation, had an okay workout (it was really humid at the gym) and worked 8.5h What I could have done to make my day better sadly had nearly no time for studying and Tai-chi 😞 What I will do differently tomorrow/What I have planned for tomorrow: wake up at 8, do some additional groceries shopping for the week, maybe go swimming or do any other workout, harvest a lot of fruits from our homeground (there are so may this year 😞 ) Weekly summary, thoughts and improvements for the future ---- 
  3. I’m gonna be honest guys, today was supposed to be a day where I got stuff done, but it just didn’t happen today. I spent so much time off task, browsing the internet, talking with friends etc and just couldn’t be productive. It’s scary because I know this is the time I’m supposed to work the hardest, but I’m still not able to overcome my own inertia. All I can do now is get some shuteye and home that tomorrow is a new and better day.
  4. My problem with this line of thinking, however, is that there is no way to quantify what constitutes so-called "manipulation". Companies will argue that they are just making their products more pleasurable. There is no logical way to refute this argument unless you challenge that there should be a limit to how pleasurable an activity should be, in which case you're delving into completely unexplored and perhaps even philosophical territory. Here's the thing: Is a restaurant unethical because they make their food so delicious that people keep over-eating? Are car manufacturers unethical because their cars are so convenient we no longer use bikes? Are movie studios unethical because their films are too good and we keep binge-watching them? Are musicians unethical because they make such amazing music that we pump up the volume and create tinnitus? Are social media unethical because they connected the world so much we are unable to disconnect? Are CHAIRS unethical because they're so comfortable that we never stand up and stretch while working? There are just random stream-of-thought examples(so don't cherry-pick the weakest ones in order to make an argument..! 😄 ), but you can see how you could apply this to anything. In the perfect world, we would use our knowledge of how to make things pleasurable in order to hyper-optimize things that make us happy in the longterm as opposed to instant gratification, but that is indeed a utopia, because people will never in a billion years agree on what it is and how it should be done. Some people love video games and they play 20-40 hours on top of their job, family and whatnot, and would argue that it's their source of happiness in life. So because there is no actual logical distinction between making things pleasurable and being manipulative, what the society usually does in these scenarios where you have a scale, is to just draw an arbitrary line and say "this is ok because we said so, and this is not ok because we said so". For example, it is obvious as a day that making hard drugs legal would make them safer, but they are banned because people cannot handle something that is so intensely pleasurable. So the cost of drugs being unsafe is less than the cost of more people doing safer drugs, because they just couldn't handle them and get addicted/overdose. Again, IN THE PERFECT WORLD, I would love for EVERYTHING to be legal and just let the people decide what is good for their lives and what is not, but that is completely delusional and the society cannot function like that. Anyways, I think there indeed should be an arbitrary line drawn because games and audio-visual media, in general, is getting WAY TOO pleasurable. When VR gets better, I can honestly imagine games being more instantly pleasurable than drugs. Neuralink has revealed their initial research and it's mindblowing. Musk says there are going to be human trials in a year(make that two or three, because It's Elon). In 20 years, you can bet your bottom dollar that people are going to be wiring their brains into a VR headset for direct neuron stimulation. Shit is going to be nuts 100% - why? Because it will make a lot of money. This is why it's important to set the boundaries early, now that it's obvious that SO MANY people are getting addicted to games. I don't think it should be nor it is possible to regulate what elements can and cannot be in a game, but putting warnings or links/contacts to institutions/communities that can help when a gamer is having problems is a good start. With the recent acknowledgment of video gaming addiction=disease, we can start getting official data and hopefully enough people will push for some improvement.
  5. 24+ hours down. I feel good. Still too early to tell how hard it's going to be though. I've quit for longer periods before but never felt this good about quitting which is both scary and exhilarating. Riot games pissed me off today; so I'm going to use that fuel to remind me of the reality of what video games are. Anyways, that's enough for tonight; it's late and I have work tomorrow. Here's to making it 48 hours!
  6. That's certainly true. Social media is a big offender of this; and people are definitely addicted to social media. I hadn't thought about that. And you point out a conspicuous thread of what great lengths these Big Tech companies will do to prevent you from escaping their platform. The age old dilemma of when do business practices go from persuasive to unethical.
  7. I am a very pro-business, free-market, individual-freedoms-with-individual-accountability kind-of guy. But I feel like this crosses the line of acting in good faith with the consumer. Especially the act of challenging the consumer's attempt to remove the company's product from their life. And it's not a stretch to call it outright manipulation and use of a cognitive bias to keep a potentially unstable person "using" their game. I don't see other businesses with addictive products doing the same. Granted, the most addicting things are illegal; and drug dealers will continue to market to you if you were a regular customer. But alcohol? You don't see beer and liquor companies stopping people on their way out of the grocery store, asking them if they are sure they don't want to buy their booze. Cigarettes, etc. I think it's unethical but I don't think it should be illegal. Not sure how you could even regulate it, or that I would want more regulation, but I definitely think that League is operating in bad faith by having that as their response to an account deletion request. Because, we agree; it's certainly an automated response. ---------------------------------- After reading your article, I think they know how to make the game more addicting; and I think they do. Of course, they will deny it because there's no proof, but I think some of Game Dev studios really know the right knobs to twist to increase game durations. As for me, it's my responsibility to be wary of the predatory nature of these things and accept I've willfully blinded myself to it for too long. But more importantly, it's my responsibility to take a stand against it. Not sure how I'll do that yet; but talking to parents early might not be such a bad idea.
  8. I feel the same. It wasn't until I found Cam's videos on YouTube that I finally realized how bad my addiction was. Spent hours watching every video I could on gaming addiction. Then I went through a range of emotions from admitting I was an addict, to shame, to anger, to inspiration, to excitement, to nervous all before day 1. Anger can be useful if it leads to other healthier emotions like it did for me. But this phenomenon of trying to hold onto customers can be seen in a lot of areas now. I was on a bunch of dating apps a few months ago and to delete your profile is so difficult. They hide it and when you do find it they offer you the "deactivate" option before the delete option. The same goes for facebook, twitter, etc.. they can't make money off you if you delete it.
  9. dos tazas de cafe! We are human and for many people to take on every single habit change there is in the world you are going to find out what your priorities are real quick by which habits slip. When one of the new habits (or two/three depending on your support network and will power levels) becomes automatic, then work on the next area of improvement. If you are really focused on no games, push ups, and no fap then I'd say having as much success as you are having on the food front is very human and quite good at that! Keep it up!
  10. Before reading the below reply, type out the answer to this question: What are your thoughts @kwshake -------------------------------------- https://www.businessinsider.com/fortnite-addictive-epic-games-parliament-prince-harry-2019-6 There are a few articles about them and EA going in front of governments and claiming ignorance for addiction, how many people are involved, how many hours their clients play, etc. It's really hard to tell if they just want to make a game for people to enjoy or to gain as much money possible. I mean, my students tell me that, on this free game, one dance is 8 US Dollars. I'm like "Check me out. I danced for free!" In my personal philosophy I see capitalism in alot of what companies try to do. I feel like the people who are making things out of the purest passion are those who are kick starting their own things, not these big names that, in some cases, have become too big for their britches in my book. However, given that, the person who contacted you, even if they were just giving you a form letter and adding your name to it, really is just communicating your options with you and there are words to try and convince you to take one option over the other. I had a similar issue when I started the process to remove my own Twitch Account. There was no button, I had to go through an overly-complicated set of E-Mail hoops. Good luck! -Kris
  11. Yeah, you pretty much nailed that. I've tried to just "eat healthier" and it just won't work long term. I can have a few good days and then like you said, I have a hard day or something and suddenly grabbing fast food is an option. Failing to plan means you're planning to fail. No fap has absolutely been harder than gaming. I've had some strong cravings but so far have managed to keep it going. I'd like to try and do 60+ days but we'll see. Thanks for your support ! Day 78: July 22, 2019 A nearly perfect health day. The only thing I could nit pick is I had 2 cups of coffee to start the day. I don't even use sugar anymore however, just 1 packet of stevia. Eggs and fruit/veggies for breakfast. Chicken, veggies, sweet potato fries and salad for lunch. Salad, carrots, and protein bar for dinner (at work), protein shake on the way home. And I'm gonna have an apple or something shortly. The plan is for every day this week to look similar to today. I'm sick of half-assing this attempt to get fit, I want to go all in. I'm down 12lbs since May 6th but I want to supercharge the results. Not much exciting happened today, just gonna go watch some netflix and relax. Looking forward to another good day tomorrow. 100 push ups a day counter: 18 No fap: 17 days
  12. Hey Matthais, I'm new here too. I wish I were your age when I decided to quit. Stay strong, you're going in the right direction. It won't be easy but we'll be here to help. Newbie to newbie, if you need anything feel free to DM me.
  13. I'm only on Module 3 so I'm not sure if he covers this or not but: @BrassWolf, you make a good point. But at what point does consumer retention become manipulation? The addiction may be our faults but are these companies at fault as well? I suppose that goes a bit deeper into a moral and philosophical argument which may be controversial and I don't want to stir up anything so soon. 😶 @NannerZ, I agree. I felt a degree of anger when I read that reply from the support admin, which I think will certainly help me in my renewed battle, but do you think that anger is warranted? Ultimately, I'm mostly angry with myself for allowing it to happen, for succumbing to the temptation time and time again. Nevertheless, do you think we have the right to be angry at game developers? @BrassWolf, your thoughts?
  14. Thanks for the offer! I'll definitely take you up on it if I can think of a way : )
  15. I'm not sure how old you are, or how feasible this is for you but the best way I know how to make friends is: Get around people. The best way to lose the "gamer" label; stop being a gamer and get outside for some activities. Join groups that have similar interests. Try using Meetup or looking for local classes, workshops, etc if you don't even know what your interests are yet. Then go to every meeting that you possibly can. All that matters is: you go outside of the house and look for things to do where people will also be doing the same things. You never know what you may get out of it. Getting to our best self means laying down what's easy (gaming) and looking for our next challenge. If you're introverted or have social anxiety, it will be a bigger challenge. But I guarantee you; the second will be easier than the first, and the third easier than the second. Also, this. This, this, this, this. THIS. Work on yourself. Try to develop a new skill: coding, marketing, graphic design, survival skills, whatever it may be. Find a mission. Make that mission your number one priority. Need a mission? Visualize where you want to be in 10 years, 20 years. That's your mission now. Go get after em. And I'll help you in any way that I can.
  16. Yes. 100%. Accepting this reality has made it easier for me to stay away from gaming.
  17. In my opinion, it's a business trying to keep a customer.
  18. I don't want to sound conspiratorial, and I certainly don't want to be controversial on my second day. But do you think certain game developers intentionally make games more addicting under the guise of more "fun"? I only ask because I got an interesting reply to my request for deletion of my League of Legend's account. Now, this may be as harmless as this particular support guy has the same sunk cost fallacy that most of us have. Nonetheless, it caused me to question. So, I wanted to come to you guys and gals to ask your opinion. Underhanded tactic or harmless ignorance?
  19. Days Without Games: Nine Days Without Internet Addiction of Any Kind: Nine Morning This morning I woke up a little earlier and took care of eating breakfast and going through today's stoic wisdom which addresses anger. I'll arrive at that later on today. After this I spent some time reading before we had some lunch together and watched another episode of The Chef Show. I am definitely finding more inspiration in the books I am reading, shows we are watching, and the people that are around me. Afternoon After spending some time looking at motorcycles we went up to another town to check out some so that I could get a feel for what it is to sit down in one and ask the important questions in figuring out what I am looking for in the one I purchase. After this we hit Barnes & Noble and moved back home, which involved an hour of traffic. Since my stomach was acting up I was definitely not always handling the major traffic in the calmest way. Internally I knew I wanted to be able to accept it and be calm about it, but it took at least 20 minutes for me to get there. Evening After finally returning home I sat down to do a little more reading and catch up on some business messages as well as connecting with a colleague from another state that will be sending me some resources on drumming for me to look at for my students this next school year (which is 3 weeks away!) I also spent some time talking with my parents which was good to connect with them over the phone and have as good a conversation as we could have given we both had to repeat every third sentence three times. We prepared dinner and ate outside which was a nice change. I took care of the cleaning while he is working on his motorcycle, installing his light. Now I am sitting down to write this journal before getting involved in practicing my Spanish and Piano and maybe even read some more (the book I am on is just that good!) General Reflection Today starting with the Daily Stoic E-Mail about anger and how we don't need it. They linked https://gen.medium.com/if-youre-angry-you-re-part-of-the-problem-not-the-solution-d50a74b119cb as a supplemental reading which I found to be powerful. Imagine having to look at yourself in a mirror when you are angry. Imagine someone recording you banging your control or making an aggravated sound at a video game or other little problem and how ridiculous it would seem to see someone else do that, let alone yourself. I absolutely loved this article because it mirrors so much of what I already believe about this life. Each side of the argument is making a villain of the other side as if not believing in what you believe to a T is justification to be angry at someone else and to call them evil. Truth is objective in so many things and to fill the world with hate towards someone else instead of having a rational, adult debate seems to not only be rare to find, but falling out of fashion for more empowerment towards 'being angry.' I pride myself on the fact that I have friends whom I disagree with on some issues, and I have to say that I see beyond that and I still see a person I like sharing experiences with and, at the end of the day, I know these people would have my back just as I would have their back because we are good friends and that is how we adults do things! I got angry at the accident that caused the hour delay heading home today, and it took me 20 minutes to accept that we were going to go slowly for a while. Sometimes problems seem so big but I kept breathing and reminding myself that the issue will pass and it won't matter later or tomorrow anyway. So instead of continuing to hold on to the feeling of injustice, I let it pass. I acknowledged it in the end and gave it less power by the end and we continued having our usual conversation on the way home. Game Front On the game front, it definitely feels more like a choice now than a natural habit to go and pick up a controller. There isn't much of a pull to play the games and I'm even starting to identify issues in some media as well. I am a big fan of Marvel up to this point, but seeing the line up for Phase IV made me realize that in order to really enjoy the next Phase to the fullest extent, I'd have to give in to Disney's demand for more money by paying for another streaming service to see what could be important stories. I feel like Spiderman - Far-From-Home did a nice job summing up the story up to this point that I have come to love. I'll maybe see the movies I want to but in terms of giving in to what I feel is a business move to increase profits, I am not going to participate in Phase IV. Then again, don't video games try to rope you into things like this too? Have a great night and a fantastic rest of the week! Don't just let it happen by accident, make it so! -Kris
  20. Obrigado, Ambassador. Li sua resposta há um tempo pelo e-mail, mas não vim aqui responder. Na verdade, pensei em uma réplica, só que ela se perdeu com o tempo. Certamente, o meu problema é procrastinação. Já fiz terapia com psicóloga por conta dessa e de outras questões, e realmente isso está no cerne de tudo. Ainda assim, não é algo que se resolve da noite pro dia. Eu vou dar uma olhada depois nesse curso que você recomendou. Mas se eu pegar agora, vai ser mais um objeto de procrastinação. Eu entreguei a dissertação e vou defender em duas semanas. A apresentação não está pronta, longe disso. Estou travado nisso há um tempo, estacionado por semanas. Hoje dei mais uns passos de formiguinha. Com relação ao primeiro parágrafo: Na questão dos jogos eu realmente estou fazendo o detox de 90 dias, e talvez depois decida jogar ou não. Não estou pensando nisso. Já a questão da pornografia e da masturbação eu quero arrancar de vez da minha vida. Não deixa dúvidas do quanto me fez mal e quero erradicar. É o que mais me dói também, então não é uma luta que vou abandonar. É sim a luta mais difícil, mas é a luta mais importante pra mim (inclusive acredito que essa dificuldade na minha vida é uma grande oportunidade de crescimento ao enfrentá-la). A diferença então era que o detox de 90 dias tem prazo de validade, um objetivo concreto no tempo. Talvez isso tenha facilitado. E ver como estou já mais perto de acabar do que do começo me dá mais força para evitar os jogos. Então acredito na importância de contar o tempo. E daí que agora vem uma mudança estratégica: Vou colocar uma meta de um mês para a luta contra PM. Eu já alcancei antes, mas agora será uma meta compartilhada, a concluir refletindo com minha namorada. Estou certo de que chegarei lá. Com isso, começo a contagem. Dia 76 sem jogos, dia 8 sem PM Ultimamente tenho consumido mais conteúdo relacionado a jogos. Vídeos e leituras. Mas não tenho jogado. E por incrível que pareça, tenho tido menos vontade de jogar. Uma coisa que fiz no meio do detox foi ver vídeos rápidos que resumissem jogos que eu gostaria de zerar, para tentar tirar a graça. Não digo que isso dê certo, mas serve como consolo. A vontade de jogar tem se tornado mais controlada, na verdade vira uma negociação formal na minha cabeça. Isso também é uma dica de que o detox deva continuar por mais tempo que apenas 90 dias, para que as decisões sejam feitas com mais certeza.
  21. JPAO

    90 Days - Part 2

    Day 10-11 Meal prep family time and then work, lots of driving today Packing because im driving 2 hours tomorrow to start work at 7, will be in a hotel the rest of the week Kinda excited kinda just normal tbh Cya soon 😄
  22. Meal prepping, exercise, and scheduling is really great. I'm glad to see you're doing that. Meal prepping is great because there might be days where you're exhausted or depressed after or during work and don't want to eat correctly or cook dinner. So a good choice turns to a bad choice for unhealthy fast food (relates to your chart above). It also saves money, makes you feel better if you cook right, and is great for your new routine. Also, congrats on 16 days no fap. The most I could do is 21. It's a bear and harder to quit than video games in my opinion, but I know it's different for everyone.
  23. Today was a big moment for me. I handled my coworker issue extremely well and I think I resolved it for the most part. I think I'll have to deal with repercussions of their actions at some point, but I just stayed true to myself and my community and kept going. I love myself too much to ever take abuse from someone or some people. I don't like having my feelings hurt for no reason. If I have done something wrong I will understand it and apologize and empathize, but when something is clearly done out of immaturity and illogical drivers then I will not stand for it. I'm proud of myself. I also went rock climbing with my friends and did the best I've ever done. I climbed almost 15 routes and am exhausted. Tomorrow my forearms are going to feel like I gave a herd of elephants hand jobs. Tomorrow I have volleyball, board games on Wednesday, and a trail walk on Friday. On the other days I'll be writing and trying to do hobbies. Sometimes I feel like I book too many events, but I'm going to stay strong since I feel better being active. I think my mind will adjust.
  24. You have a list of what you'd like to do instead of games, right? Pick the one that looks the least dull and the most accessible/easy and do that right away. To quote a bit from The Art of Not Giving a Fu**: "Action isn't just the effect of motivation, it's also the cause of it." If you do something, you'll automatically get into it a tiny bit and as you progress you'll like progressing, so it will start feeling better. Just do something from your list, anything. It's like with push-ups. Any time you think about them it's just an annoying thought, but if you midlessly (out of necessity, to ignore any mental compalints) go on the ground regardless and start doing the first one, you'll feel very motivated to keep going till you drop and you'll feel great for having done it after. As for writing, you can try finding a writing community and post little snippets of something, even if it's not the novel. I have a friend who is writing a book and his motivation goes up a lot when he posts small side stuff on reddit and the like.
  25. I did that as well along my journey. My distaste for the community in general is really one of the driving forces for me to abstain from gaming. Being around these toxic people with problems who take them out on you is unfair and unfortunate. No need to do that to yourself. I'm glad you saw it.
  26. I see what you mean. I think that makes sense. You don't have to share it. What kind of feedback are you looking back from her?
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