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Introducing myself

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Hello everyone,

I am a 36-year-old guy, living with my girlfriend, started my own business 1 year ago. I've been addicted to video games all my life, playing for the first time when I was 3 years old. As a kid I was only allowed to play on the weekend for about 1 hour a day, but after my parents divorced when I was 11 it was up to me and I started playing right after school until late night. This is basically what I did in my free time for all those years until now.

I messed up a lot of things in my life due to playing video games. I somehow managed to finish school with bad grades but I dropped out of university three times, I was dreaming of a sports career which I messed up due to the addiction, I never had much money and most of the time I was never happy with my life, feeling like I "already messed up anyway".

Last year I moved in with my girlfriend and I decided to start my own business. I was very motivated and looking forward to everything, there was no strong urge to play games anymore, but recently I feel more and more unhappy about the way things are going and it brought me all back to that really strong desire to play games again.

But I am already 36 years old. I don't want to be a manchild anymore, I want to be a man! I don't want to piss my life away with playing video games anymore, I want to start building my own world with a successful business and improving myself in many aspects of life. But it is so damn hard! Also I can feel that there are definitely big problems with depression when I don't play. The past few days I have been in a really bad mood and had no motivation to do anything. I only did what i had to do to keep the business running without getting in trouble.

I tried to quit a few times in my life but always came back to playing games. I feel that it is always easier to quit when you have some people who have the same goal. That's why I registered here. I want to write a journal and communicate with other people, who are facing the same problems and have the same goals and of course I hope that one day I can finally make it to stop playing video games for good!

Thanks for reading!

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