Introduction

[Skaterboy]

Hello everyone,
I'm in my mid-twenties I live in Germany and I've been gaming ever since I was a kid. I procrastinated everything until the very last minute with gaming and last semester even last-minute didn't get me going. Nobody knows how big this problem is because most of the time in my past I managed to get the stuff done just in time. I got through school with above average grades and even through my entire bachelor's degree. I think I could have gone on like that for even longer. What changed is that I moved for my masters degree and those friends that always got me going are far away now. Because of the current pandemic and me staying in my room most of the day, I'm not meeting any new people. In hindsight I was really blessed to have some non-gamer friends while doing my bachelor. Just the social pressure of them knowing I was slacking if I didn't go to the lecture or honestly me enjoying talking about uni-stuff with them was what got me my passing marks and made me finish my degree.
In my first Master Semester, I didn't pass a single class. And I barely attended any. In this master, if you haven't passed the basic classes by the end of the 2nd Semester, you're out. No ifs, buts or third tries. Now its the middle of the second week of my second master semester and I barely manage to make myself something to eat, don't have a proper sleeping cycle, didn't attend a single online class and keep drowning out my bad conscience with gaming. 
I bought the GameQuitter course some time ago because I think what you're doing is great and I wanted to support you guys. I also really liked to listen to "Gaming the System" on google Podcasts. At that time I didn't think it was necessary to come here. Now I'm not so sure anymore.
I honestly don't think I can go full 90days detox but I want to commit to at least keeping up the journal and posting everyday. I will take it a day at a time. If I don't post, there is a high likelyhood "you know what" happened...
But hey, maybe I do manage the 90 days. It would be a dream come true.
If someone actually reads this, I would be happy to read your story and share experiences. I'm too ashamed to tell anyone outside about this. I have tried that twice and it went horribly wrong both times 😕

[Ted]

Hi.

Im really sorry to hear about your attempts of the ninety day detox but if it makes you feel better I tried twice and failed as well. I know the feeling of doing things you know you shouldn't to continue gaming and then drowning out the feeling with more gaming.

I just want to let you know that you are not alone and though I'm new too game quitters seems to be working already and the community and Cam will always be there for you if you are going to relapse or simply need to vent

Best of luck in you journey.

[Julon]

Hi, 

I also live in Germany and my Story (so far) sounds very similar. I have also lived my life as a passenger and just managed to get through everything with above average grades while procrastinating a lot. No one knows about my problems. Honestly I have also failed to quit multiple times.
Currently I‘m also in a bit of stress because my finals are in 2 weeks and I can‘t motivate myself really. The only thing that helps me currently is going for short walks and doing short workouts. Also listening to music instead of gaming is a good alternative.  No reason to be ashamed, we all share the same problem here, you should be proud that you are willing to take action instead of living in denial like many addicted gamers do. 

 

[Amphibian220]

I think that you will never delay a task if you are taking care of your needs and your mind has returned to a good work/rest pattern. 

Discipline starts to falter when you are sacrificing too much of your health to get something done. That is why habits like internet browsing and video games develop: because they can distract you and give a temporary escape. They then create an unhealthy cycle of its own.

Worked example: I was in the office feeling tired and unable to focus. It was just enough for me to log on to game quitters for mental energy and focus to come out of reserves. This was one of the most interesting observations I made:

My mind was refusing to allocate energy until i followed a habit of escaping. Looks like the mind develops a habit of allocating energy to particular activities.

Another interesting point is how becoming overexcited or intense about work causes stress. You become so intense that you cannot take a break and just want to continue revising or working. I think video games train this particular mode of over concentrating. A forum member related to me how his gaming habit transmitted into his work: he is a hard worker at the expense of his health.

The only issue now is that you have to go against your instinct to develop a new thinking pattern. No matter how much i want to continue working (or how much i want to escape) i force myself to take a break, do something that successful people do, anticipating the shift in my personality that this will bring about.

Edited April 21, 2021 by Amphibian220

[Skaterboy]

Thank you for your answers!
I will write about how my day was in the journal but I wanted to answer you guys here as well.
I actually attended a lecture today! Two, to be precise. I also started working the worksheets. In betweeen, my mind wanted a break though, just like @Amphibian220 said. When I needed a break, my mind was YELLING at me to chill for a sec and open a stream or watch some gaming videos on YouTube. I was about to do it because my weird self-deceiveing brain made up the idea that I had done good work and deserved it... Luckyily before doing that I came here to see if anyone had responded. And I'm so glad I did. @Julon I also went outside for a walk, and, as you can guess by my username, I took my board with me and it felt so good to be outside in the sun. Just listening to music didn't work for me, but I guess everyone has their thing. Later in the day, I had the same huge urge but I just came here again and reread your responses. Seeing how it affected me, I want to start browsing the forum and responding to other people's intros and journals as well.
@Ted I know we have been chronical relapsers and having had friends in the past that tried to quit smoking, it seems impossible for relapsers to ever become clean. Well, maybe I'm overreacting because its only day1 but since you're also new here and this is a new approach for both of us: I think we can actually do it this time!

tldr. Your responses kept me from instarelapsing day1, Thank You so much

Edited April 22, 2021 by Skaterboy

[Amphibian220]

Further insight: things done in a particular structured order (by suppressing laziness) will bring great results for your character and mental strength. Eg. You’d like to revise later because it just doesn't feel like a good time to do it. That is an excellent time for you to strike and overwrite your behavioral trait.

there are many things your body would like you to do: to sleep longer, get distracted by entertainment, avoid conflicts, overeat and daydream. Give in to these traps and you’ve got a classic case of unreliable, irresponsible person that can’t be trusted with anything. Look at anything that was designed with excellence: people had to go through a lot of pain and deprivations to overpower all the obstacles. 

Notice how we undermine this process by getting ourselves distracted constantly. And now pay attention to how most of internet is designed. Constant links with chunks of information. Internet is not like a useful book, its more like a yellow press newspaper with tiny bits of information. You can of course find a video that is 1 hour long, but most videos you watch out of curiosity are shorter and dont give you structured useful knowledge. 

I am only looking for something to get hard and tedious because going through it changes my character. 

Now take a small object (like a watch) and try to stay focused on it without thinking about anything else. Can you do that? That is a good indicator of your focusing ability.

Edited April 24, 2021 by Amphibian220