I want to stop being a loser

[The Chosen One]

Hey cool people, what's up?

I'm writing to say: I want to stop being a loser.

I'm ready to change my life for the better

I was a good kid, a top student of my class, never lazy, no alcohol, no drugs. I graduated in marketing but could never get a decent job. The low-paid salary was always the norm.

Because of this, I got severe depression and stayed at home with my parents for years. Yes, you can say that I embraced the victim mindset. At this time, I developed a huge addiction to watching youtube. I spent all of my time, laying in bed watching gaming videos like collections, pick-ups, reviews, streamings, AVGN, gaming room tours, etc: 

So, I've come to an idea for one day building my own gaming room and have a huge collection. I have a big list of games that I want to buy, the mini consoles that I want to collect, the posters I want to print, the stickers, the multiplayer games on steam that I want to try, a tablet specif for android games, and even a plan for a youtube channel about gaming.

 

To be honest, I don't think this is a bad goal to shoot for.  

But...the problem is, I don't do anything to achieve this goal. I don't take action. 

 

I don't want to spend all my time watching gaming videos and daydreaming about a game room. 

This depression, procrastination, and stagnation mode are destroying my life. 

I'm an adult and I want to change. 

To overcome this addiction, I started to watch self-development videos without taking action. It didn't improve my life, because I didn't do anything with the information.

I know that my biggest enemy is procrastination. I want to get rid of my phone and stop watching youtube videos, especially on my bed. 

 

I also don't want to spend my time and money on gaming. I want to set bigger goals for my life. I want to:

• Get a job as a digital marketer
• Get some freelancing gigs
• Start a side-business
• Be independent (Getting my own place)
• Buy more healthy food
• Get in shape 
• Buy a bike 
• Buy a car
• Buy a new computer (to increase my skills and to learn to code)

 

The thing is: How can I forgive myself for my past mistakes? I want to stop being a loser, I want to combat this stagnation phase and regain control of my life. I'm starting to think that I can't compensate for these wasted years.

How can I come back to normal society again, when I'm so messed up?

 

As I said, I'm planning to get a job in the digital marketing field to get experience and then to launch my own online business and maybe some freelancing gigs. 

I enrolled in a digital marketing course but I'm failing. I can't focus. 

 

I want to make a 90-day challenge in which I commit to change my life:

1) - Focus only on completing successfully my course

2) - Eat Healthily

3) - Exercise at least 10 min a day

4) - Digital Detox

      a) No youtube

      b) No phone

      c) No browsing randomly on the internet

      d) No Podcasts

      e) No thinking about gaming 

 

But, once again the inner voice comes to action. There is so much to learn. It's so overwhelming. If I was a top student back in college and failed, why do I think that now it's worthwhile studying again? I'm self-taught but I don't know, I feel lost.

 

Can I have a partner for accountability?

I'm also willing to help others

 

You're all awesome!

 

 

[Code]

Although I admire your passion to quit gaming, it wouldn't necessarily be the greatest option to restrict yourself from so many dopamine sources. Not gaming for one is already a big accomplishment. If you put too much stress on yourself, you may burn out. I added a rule of ''no sodas'' but quickly decided to give myself a soda now and then to reduce my stress levels to tackle my game addiction. This helped me get through the day, hoping that once I'm comfortable not gaming, that's when I will tackle a new habit. Of course it's up to. But it's just a pre-reminder where I tell you that it's okay to take things slow. Do not beat yourself up. Praise yourself for every day that you did not game.