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Medical Student trying to get out of Procrastination...


Lobares

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Studying, 5 Hours Per Day | No PC Usage | Training | Eat healthy

 

11/90

 

Day was fine. I made the plan which I want to follow. Only problem: I need to do more than 5 hours so the plan can actually work. 

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I didnt post yesterday because I wanted to shift my daily postings to the morning instead of writing them in the evenings. So I can reflect better my problems, and improve them in that day directly. 
 

However I must admit that in the last days I started way too late. To compensate that pressure I couldnt really concentrate during my promodoros, which made the whole promodoro system meaningless. A successful promodoro cycle means for me that I was fully focused during that time. But in the last 2-3 days I wasnt. Today its really late again, and I did nothing yet. Thats why I know this would end in tje exact same way e.g. learning 5 hours but with no ‘real’ breaks and so the breaks happen with procrastination during the promodoros -> lie to myself.

 

That makes no sense. I am gonna reset that counter once again, I will go earlier into bed so I can start my day a bit sooner and go straight to my tasks. I cant allow myself now a big relapse otherwise everything would be pointless. I literally studied 3-4x already for one of those upcoming exams. That means I wasted so much time, because I studied -> but not enough so I couldnt pass the exam -> forgot everything, had to study again etc. I dont want this to happen again, because its extremly demotivating.

So I am gonna reset the timer and start fresh from tomorrow. Gonna always write a post at the beginning of my day, to set up my goals. I might even be flexible then with my learning hours, I can just say ‚hey today I feel great so I can study more hours‘(ofc not less). 

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I didnt study today sadly. I dont want to make a break once again, I want to push through. No way I will do all this silly stuff again, I want to get those exams DONE once and for all. Thats why tomorrow I will start my day straight with going back on my study routine. 

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Feeling like absolute shit today 😄 Usually to cope that after waking up, gaming, youtube,  netflix etc. or eating a bunch of food... Bu since I dont do any of that anymore since a few weeks now, I just wait a bit because I know my mood will change quickly. Although I literally did nothing stressful the last two days since I didnt study. But I think that - obviously - has affect too.

 

Whatever. Im gonna go straight to my tasks now. Will study for 2-3 hours will make a break to do my workout and continue afterwards. 5 Hours are not that long if you do promodors seriously, because if you really concentrate you actually want to get things done fast, and when you try to do something fast, what happens? Yea  the time is suddenly a problem for you, so it passes way faster.

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Did everything like planned. But gonna write the ‘official’ daily post like I said earlier at the mornings and not at the evenings. Tomorrow I want to do two really important calls which I postpone now for way too long.

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Studying, 5 Hours Per Day | No PC Usage | Training | Eat healthy

1/74

74 days left for a huge exam, some weeks before that I have several smaller ones. Even succeeding in those smaller ones would be a huge win. But since I dont want to study all this again for the big exam, I want to do it in one go.

Today I already started to earlier so I can finish faster. Because yesterday I had to study again into the night to get the 5 hours in total.

 

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I didnt study today once again. Damn. Its not even like that there are huge cravings or that I need a break or anything. Its just that I start too late and its really frustrating to study until the night. But I have to until I fix my time managment better. Right now I dont have an idea how to make sure that I study tomorrow. But I will give my very best to get back to it tomorrow and continue like I used to.

Without studying this day was really shit. No clue what I even done. The last days seemed already to have much impact because I am not used to mindless browsing or anything. But I know sooooo well that if I do this 2-3x more I will be totally hooked again. I read such things in other journals a lot, people tend to interpret this as ‚I dont have an addiction anymore, since today I stopped myself because I found it boring!‘ but a few days later the addiction hits back and 24/7 stuck infront of the games once again. 

 

So - tomorrow back to the routine and study well. And I will write my journals posts again at the evenings, that ‚pressure‘ might help a bit.

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Studying, 5 Hours Per Day | No PC Usage | Training | Eat healthy

 

Could follow my plan today. Started early so It worked better. But I took a long break after 3 hours of studying. I want to make these breaks shorter, first finish the uni stuff and then go do other things.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Okaay

A month since the last post

I had really no motivation at that time, I always started so late and I had 0 motivation then + I did not really know how to structure my day better.

However soon after my last post a few things happend IRL and I got much motivation once again for 2 weeks, followed by 2 okay-ish weeks. Now I am here again, because it really feels like I am one step before LOSING ONCE AGAIN. My exams are coming and all this work could be meaninglesss ONCE AGAIN if I dont pass them now. I studied multiple times for them already and I never passed them since I slacked at the end. 

... It all got worse again when i wanted to do more and more. -> felt overwhelmed once again(yea, always the same faults... at least I remember them now). The ‚ I want to do more‘ and skipping training etc. ‚to have more time to study more‘ leads to ACTUALLY DOING LESS! Funny isnt it?  Literally skipped my sports just to study more but the truth is that doesnt work.

Look, gamequitters and these blogs helped me a lot in the past. I know they will do it once again. I need to give it all once and for all to make it this time. Until now im totally in time, no problem in making it if I get back to the routine. 46 Days left to the huge and final exam from now on. 46 days of no fails, just sticking to the routine now. 

After posting this I will go straight to my tasks. Tomorrow then start with the countdown.

0/46

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On 7/7/2022 at 6:10 PM, Lobares2 said:

I need to give it all once and for all to make it this tim

Hey! Have you read the book "Atomic Habits" (or something similar)? I feel like you're making this journey a bit more stressful and complicated than it could be. There is a lot of benefits to doing things "the hard way", but when it comes to quitting gaming, picking the easiest route has led me to most progress.

All that is to say that I recommend you make posting here a daily habit, and make other things you value a daily habit (studying??). What helped me set down daily habits was putting certain activities around things I already do daily anyways (such as eating, waking up, showering, coming back from work, etc.). For example, before breakfast I always water the plant, clean up the room, and write down my goals, and right after breakfast I check my emails, do music composition, and complete most urgent tasks. Before, I'd time those tasks more like "At the end of the day", but that was far too vague and I would either forget about it or not give it enough time.

By attaching an activity to something I'll already get done no matter what, it was much easier to make that commitment. 

Peace!

Good luck on your journey, and congrats on simply making so much effort- even if you don't pass, there are so many benefits/gains in simply trying.

Po

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  • 3 weeks later...

I Passed the exams. Although I didnt get back to a proper routine, all the work I did before was enough to do it.

Now there is one exam left. Its much bigger than the other two, but it feels like it is easier to do, for different reasons. After that I can finally continue with the university and start with a new year. I have to finish this last exam before I can continue. Thats why it is really important that I make it now. Once I made it, my environment will change, I can finally go outside again to the unversity everyday, built up a routine around that. Right now its really hard because you wake up, no pressure, no limitations, you can just jump straight into doing mindless, useless stuff. 

For the next 30 days, I made a plan for everyday. Probably like 5-7 Hours of studying everyday. My goal is simple, basically getting 1 day done and so on. After that I should be ready for this last exam for now.

Although I slacked with m studying, the other things I mentioned, sports&diet etc. are going okay still. But that doesnt matter if I am not studying properly, because thats really the only thing that matters for me right now 😄

I Want to post again daily here, to stay on track. Will now start the grind and post here again at the evening.

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Started waaaay too late. I definitely have to stop pc usage in general again before I dont finish my tasks completely. I usually tend to start my work even before I ate for breakfast, which worked really well like @Pochatok recommended too(thanks for your post mate). I want to restart with that habit again. The current way of studying for this big exam is a lot easier than the way of studying for normal exams. For various reasons, since I am not native english a few things are hard to explain in this journal 😄 Thats why sometimes I just mention things instead of explaining it properly.

However - I sticked to the plan and finished the work for today. So I can restart my counter

1/28

Approx. 28 days for the exam. Thats not much, I hope I can stay strong during this time. Tomorrow I want to start immediately with my study session instead of doing anything not-important. 

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2/28

Started pretty early and I could get everything done for today. It was a ton, took a lot of time but yea right now I am studying difficult topics, which is the reason why its pretty hard currently but I am done with them in like 2 days probably. 

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4/28

Started early, but made huge breaks sadly. My current problem is that I dont stick to promodoro cycles. Instead I study not concentrated and therefore I need more hours than usually. I want to push through so I have more actual free time.

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I cant keep the routine up lately. I am not really committed sadly. I need to get back up. I slacked with many things.

3 Weeks left for the exam. Thats like nothing, just focusing 3 weeks. Thats more than doable.

However, I am this type of guy who must invest everything to make it, I cant just do like semi-productive. I dont know for example I miss certain goals which arent connected to stusying I feel a lot less motivated to study. Thats why I want to stick again to my old routine, which worked really well:

- Workout every day

- Strict Diet -> NOT eating in front of the pc

- Studying with Promodoros as long as I have to, to finish the stuff for one day

- Really important: No PC usage before I dont complete every task I have to do for that day

No excuses I will start with this routine again and stick to it until this last exam of this year.

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Day was fine, finally again a structured day without mindless browsing etc I study and use my freetime to actually make breaks and not just watch a vid which exhausts even more. 

Tomorrow I need to do some non-study tasks, which are important. Writing a few mails, prepare some stuff for an appointment etc. These things are always there in the background which stress me a lot. Time to get them done so I can focus more on the really important things.

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Currently studying math subjects which is really exhausting lmao

But its nearly done, I hope i can be more focused then. The more exhausting things are the less focused & disciplined I am. Pretty natural I guess. 

Other than that the day was fine. Had some cravings because of the stress somehow sticked to the plan anyway. 

Today I once again didnt study with thw promodoro system. Tomorrow I want to change that.

The other tasks I mentioned yesterday, I did them all. Felt really good to finally not to have to stress about that as well.

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On 7/30/2022 at 8:21 PM, Lobares2 said:

Workout every day

- Strict Diet -> NOT eating in front of the pc

- Studying with Promodoros as long as I have to, to finish the stuff for one day

Hey! All of these sound like great ideas, but I was wondering if you've read "Atomic Habits"? It has helped me with understanding how to establish habits in an easier an more efficient way. 

 

On 8/1/2022 at 7:13 PM, Lobares2 said:

But its nearly done, I hope i can be more focused then.

Something that has helped me was to steer away the focus from, erm, focusing for a bit. Instead, I geared my goals towards being in the moment and enjoying the process as much as possible with things like keeping a good posture, monitoring my stress levels actively, and taking breaks whenever I feel like in a fashion that actually lets me relax and reduce stress.

There is a saying, "perfection is the slowest way to perfection", and I think it goes similar for focus: it's very difficult to just make the goal to focus hard, but by making the task at hand more rewarding, stress-free, and comfortable, focus will come by naturally. At least, that's been the way for me- I no longer ever focus on focusing itself, but on how much I am enjoying what I'm doing and how stressed I feel. 

Hope this helps, keep up striving for a better tomorrow (but also, today is already good enough- I hope you're/will be able to feel that way)🙂 

Po

Edited by Pochatok
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Nowadays I really am not committed to actually give my best. The exam

is in like 2-3 weeks. Right now its more then questionable whether I make it. It means so much to me to make it, not because I just want to pass it, I want to pass it because then I am finally able to re-enter univeraity with classes and all that. This is the chance to finally get into a healthy environment again instead of sitting all day at home without any structure. It would make things so much easier. Thats the main reason Why I want to do it this time. I am not like relapsing in huge sense I am just not committed and I dont do promodoros etc. I still study but not enough.

I thought a lot about that today once again. Thats why I want to commit fully towarda my goal of passing thia exam. I know its useless to say 

‘from tomorrow on Ill do 20 hours of studying!’ Because this will actually lead to doing 0 hours. I learnt that now. I just want to get back to:

- 10 Promodors per Day meaning 5 hours in total, starting asap after waking up

- additionally to do doing old exams every day

That is no problem because I did this with success for many weeks already. And this should be enoguh to pass the exam I think. I just want to promise and give my word to myself and everyone who is reading this that I will stick to this at least until the exam. I am really willing to do this so I can pass this exam once and for all.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi,

I wrote that exam now, and there is the chance that I made it apparently. But I have to wait for the final results. All the work I did before was once again enough although my routine was far away from perfect. It proves again that you just have to keep going, no need to be anything near perfect. Sadly I learnt that lesson soo late. This perfectionism always lead to doing 0 work.

 

Well now I have to do an oral exam. Which is really the last step into finally being able to rejoin the university. I got a really, really tough examiner in the exact subject where I have my weaknesses... This isnt something I can change really quickly to be honest, I cant improve that subject so much in this short time. So this will most likely end bad. 
 

However - I want to study the next days steady to improve at least a bit. Thats the best I can do and especially I dont want to fall into bad habits again even if I fail that oral exam this time. Getting back to my routine of studying, doing my sports and stuff from now on again.

Will start my counter tomorrow once again.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi

So yea I failed that oral exam. I did nothing really after I wrote that other exam. I knew I couldnt make it - this time It was probably actually true. But still I should have worked anyways but I didnt. Felt extremly overwhelmed, stressed myself tremendously, totally without any sense. But yea I wrote that over and over again, I learnt a lot about myself in the past months. Maybe its a good time to sum somethings up

1) Never think you need to master a subject. Just get into it. Dont try to max out one subject and then go to next - no, just go over everything thats much more efficient + its less overwhelming meaning I will work harder and more often since its easier to do. 

2) You can change everything u want. It just needs time to feel normal. Its kind a funny but I never imagined a day without my pc. It was not that I had to use it, eg going outside with friends was always a priority, but when I was at home I never had really alternatives. Or not eating in front of my pc. Those were things I couldnt really imagine not-doing them. But you can change all of that pretty easily

3) Change the damn environment. Unfortunately something you cant so always but if you can do it. Aolved nearly all of my problems, but real strength must come from yourself. I read a journal here from someone else, that guy said he thinks getting a girlfriend prevents him from relapaing. Which I totally agree with since it gives positiv energy and we all stay strong while feeling good. But that Guy was bad at dating, got disappointed a few times and instantly relapsed. -> you cant rely on that. Its a good boost but dont rely on it.

 

Well

This is the first time since years I actually got time. Normally I failed an exam and the next exam was just 2 months away so I had to reatart immidately.This time I made all exams just 1 missing. And the next date for it is in like 6months. I wont start studying until maybe 2-3 months left. Because its simply not necessary. Thats why I have some free time now where I want to built up strong habits. Basically lost keeping track of everything after I wrote that final exam and this oral one was left. Its late now so I will try to write here tomorrow again, clarify what I want to do and how.

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I break nearly with all my good habits I built up in the last months, sadly. But not for a really long time, a few weeks only. I need to pick up again where I stopped to save the progress.

From tomorrow on I want to:

1) Eat healthy again, Stick to my diet. I lost a lot of weight in the last months, although I wasnt really obese. I didnt gain anything back, but I am eating unhealthy again. Just less than before. Now I want to built up again so I need to push those calories up this time, but with healthy food and not trash. No excuses, never. That was the key last time. I never allowed myself anything. Thats why it worked really good. Food is not meant to be a replacement for a lack of fun or so. 

2) Training everyday (probably 1-2 free days per week, I need to think about my training routine first)

3) Getting everything done which I have to do. There are a lot of small tasks which I postpone all the time. I want to built up a strong habit of getting things immidately done. Not procrastinating and postpone it for days/weeks. I have a lot of stuff open, nothing really time intense but still overwhelming although its really easy. However I want to finish everything which shows up in the future asap too.

4) No PC Usage in terms of useless browsing youtube netflix etc. stop this cancer for good.In the last days I wasted my time rewatching shows I dont even like lmao. I have a lot of work to do non-study things so this time I will not stay away from the internet in general but I must be productive. 

I guess I will also restart with playing my violine. I have time for that now. But Ill try first to establish those other things again. I am ready to restart that grind, building up strong habits.

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