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Yet another attempt to quit


A Single Step

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Like many other people here, I am addicted to gaming. It's something that has affected me for years, and wasted away countless hours of my life along with thousands of dollars. It's costed me so many relationships and opportunities, to the point where I'm no longer truly young (26 in 2021) and yet haven't achieved much of anything in my life. I've tried many, many times to quit. Sometimes I lasted for just a few days, sometimes several months, but ultimately the siren call of gaming always drew me back, screwing me over and undoing all the positive progress I worked so hard to build. 

On the surface my life honestly isn't too bad. 2020 was a bad year for many people, but it was pretty great for me. I moved out of my mom's place, got a job, and started working full time to take care of myself. I recently went back to school full time as well, and am looking forward to graduating in February with a 4.0 GPA and credentials that will allow me to work in an industry that I'm passionate about. And I have an awesome girlfriend who has stuck with me through some truly tough times. 

So why am I trying to quit gaming now? Because while I'm doing enough to get by, I know I'm falling so far short of my full potential. My room is a mess.  My body and mind have both become incredibly weak from years of sedentary living. Most importantly, I have so many dreams that I want to achieve, and the opportunity to do so diminishes with each passing day, as I piss away my free time playing games and watching TV. I want to get fit, travel the world, make a lot of friends, and be involved in my community. I want to have a job that doesn't just allow me to get by, but that allows me to truly make a difference in the world. I know I can reach every single one of these goals, but I also know that it won't be possible unless I start growing up and leaving gaming behind. 

2020 was a great year, but here's to 2021 being an even better one. Cheers.

Edited by A Single Step
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Hey, glad you've made up your mind by living life to the fullest! I see you have already defined some goals of yours! I hope covid ends soon so you can eventually travel. For now though I'd say take it step by step. This was one of my mistakes when I first started, i tried doing so many things, yet i soon realized that it didn't work out. So take it slow, will be much less stress on you trying to get everything done. 
 

Good luck! 
 

Jason

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@Jason70Thanks! I'm glad to be here!

The first day of the detox went by fairly quickly and easily. I spent the first day after my post (Thursday afternoon) tidying up my room, finishing an online final and submitting the paperwork for my internship next year. On Friday, with the help of my girlfriend's dad, I finally got around to mounting my TV (which was just sitting in a corner of my bedroom gathering dust) on the wall above my desk. It looks awesome there, and I can use it to play some studying livestreams while I work at my computer. I figure it can also help with detoxing out movie streaming and youtube time--for example, I could block all those websites on my computer and exclusively use my TV for that during downtime. The TV's first day proved to be a tough one though, as my girlfriend and I mainly sat on the bed and watched shows for the majority of the day. I got some studying done for my finals next week, but it paled in comparison to the amount of time spent watching Gordon Ramsay scream at scrubs on Hell's Kitchen.

Even though I went to bed fairly late on Friday (~12:50ish), I woke up early this morning with a lot of energy and craving exercise. Even though it was drizzling outside, I made up my mind to run up and down the hill nearby my house (~3 miles round trip). I think I'm going to try to run the hill at least 2-3 times a week moving forwards. I used to be a pretty darn good runner before my years of hardcore gaming, and I'd like to get to that level again, working up to marathons and possibly even more. I hear hill runs are great for getting in shape.

That's all for now. Thank you for reading and best of luck with all your detoxes.

Cheers!

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  • 3 weeks later...

So the last attempt at keeping a journal died pretty quickly. Fortunately I didn't go back to any major gaming since the last attempt (the blocksite extension guarded by a randomly generated password helped a lot), but I don't think I've quite kicked the habit yet since I still played a lot of minigames like minesweeper whenever I got bored. For that reason I'm resetting myself back to day 0--but I'm going to use this new year as an opportunity to finish the detox and stick to maintaining this journal.

Since my last journal, some positive and some negative things happened in my life. The good news is that I found a job I genuinely enjoy, obtained two professional certificates, and have continued to maintain a positive relationship with my girlfriend. The bad news (other than the fact I still waste exorbinant amounts of time doing shit like gaming and watching TV) is that I haven't run the hill even once in my last entry. For some reason I just haven't felt up it the past month, and I've come up with a ridiculous number of excuses to postpone it. I'll definitely be looking to make fitness a bigger priority in my life in 2021.

My new years resolutions for 2021 are:

-Detox gaming and make an entry on GQ every day or every other day

-Repair my relationship with my family

-Get back into shape and compete in a full marathon (COVID-19 permitting)

-Get a job in my field that will allow me to pay for rent without living paycheck to paycheck ($20/hr or more)

-Finish the 90 day challenge for NoFap (starting today)

-Study for and smash the MCAT

 

Definitely excited for this next year. I've made a lot of fuck ups in my life, but I'm going to do my best to make 2021 the year where I turn it all around. Cheers!

 

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Quick update...

New year's was a pretty meh day, everything was closed so it was hard to get outside and be productive.

The following two days were much better. Ran the hill and got a lot of errands done like meal prepping, servicing my car, fixing my watch, etc. Also had a couple of busy but good days at work. It's amazing how much more time there is in the day when I'm able to prioritize productive things instead of games or TV.

I will say that I spent a lot of time tonight watching Attack on Titan. In my defense it's a really good show and you can't really watch just one episode, but at the same time I know I had better things to do. I have work pretty early tomorrow, and since my partner will be a completely new employee we'll be in the weeds fast if it's a busy day. Because of that I could definitely have used the extra sleep. Ah well--mistakes made, experience gained. I really need to be better at making decisions with the future in mind, rather than just going with whatever my body is craving in the moment.

Attached: Some of the wonderful food I meal prepped today. Left to right: Salmon, Chicken breast and bell peppers, Tofu and Ground beef with mixed vegetables.

IMG-1752.thumb.jpg.edb7b4d2e33a05c4be63bb1a5976d9ee.jpg

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