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Not your typical journal...


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Hey there!

 

It's been a while since I posted on this forum, but I've come back because I came to some big realizations about gaming that I wanted to share with you all. Since playing for the last time in October, I haven't experienced any cravings to play and avoiding them has honestly been the easiest thing I've ever done.

I'm not writing this journal to talk about my issues with gaming, because they don't exist any more. There are no more cravings, and I'm 100% focused on building an incredible life for myself.

 

The truth is, quitting gaming is easy.

 

And in this journal I want to give back to the community that was my home for over 6 years and provided me with so much helpful advice and support through my darkest times.

You can expect discussions on shifting your mindset, self-improvement, and follow along in real time as I continue my life working online as a digital nomad in Thailand; building businesses, levelling up physically, mentally, and spiritually, and ultimately helping other people do the same.

It's my mission to help people struggling with gaming addiction to fully realize their potential, and start enjoying life for what it really is.

 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

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I also want to provide a bit of context for those of you coming across this for the first time.

 

I previously worked with Cam on Game Quitters, after spending 6 years in the community. I took part in dozens of media interviews, you can read about my 32 hours gaming binge here, spoke to parliament, ran the Game Quitters podcast and more.

I've worked with hundreds of people in the community over the years, and after spending some time away learning marketing, working in digital marketing, and creating an amazing life for myself in Thailand I realized that my passion ultimately lies in helping people overcome video game addiction.

I have big plans for the future, but for now my aim is to just give back in any way I can.

 

If you have questions or need support, just reach out and send me a message or leave a comment. I want to get to as many people's journals as possible, but it's difficult to keep up with all the inspiring Game Quitters out there.

 

Stay awesome.

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Recently I've found myself struggling with one very important thing - clarity.

It's natural to feel some doubt about what you're doing when you take on a new project or try to accomplish something big. Ultimately, it comes down to fear.

You're afraid that you'll be stuck in the same place in 1 year as you are now, and should never have bothered trying in the first place. This is exactly how I've felt once or twice this week.

So, if it's a natural part of growth is there anything you can do stop it? Not really...

In the past, when I first started my journey of self-improvement and entrepreneurship, I struggled with this a lot. I started and failed countless times, all because I gave up when things got tough. I doubted what I was doing so much that I convinced myself there was no point continuing.

Over time, however, I began to learn how to overcome this.

It has nothing to do with stopping the fear, but learning to live with it and overcome it as quickly as possible.

It's similar to cravings. It's normal to get cravings to play video games, but whether you go back to playing is all dependent on how long you stay in that negative state.

If you don't shut it down quickly and change your emotions, you're more than likely going to act out on your cravings sooner or later. So, in the past when I had a relapse it would last months at a time. My most recent relapse lasted just one day, and now I'm confident that I'll never go back.

Going back to clarity...

These emotions; fear, anxiety, worry, they're all normal. What's important is realizing you are in complete control of your emotional state.

You can choose to feel anxious, or you can choose to feel passionate, you just need some way to break the chains that are keeping you in that negative state.

For me, the thing that breaks it is talking to a friend and looking at the reasons why I'm doing this.

It's not that the goals inspire me, it's that the fear of not achieving them is so great that not continuing is no longer an option. I've failed too many times to give up now, and the standards I set for myself are much higher.

If you find yourself struggling to continue with a task, or to stay motivated over the long term, consider this:

Why are you actually doing this? Why is it so important to you? What will happen if I don't carry on? Who am I going to disappoint?

Don't just say "I want more money", or "I want to get in shape". Dig deep. Spend time in silence reflecting on it. Internalize your why so deeply that it's always on your mind. Wake up every day and remind yourself of your why. Let it dictate every decision you make until you're only serving this one purpose.

 

Only when you overcome fear can you truly move towards building a better life for yourself.

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Your post reminded me of this thing I read about finding your Ikigai or purpose. It's the thing that motivates you most like family or work. My ikigai is to rest. I just love resting so I'm going to make enough money and investments so that I can just rest all the time and not work I think.

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15 hours ago, James Good said:

These emotions; fear, anxiety, worry, they're all normal. What's important is realizing you are in complete control of your emotional state.

You can choose to feel anxious, or you can choose to feel passionate, you just need some way to break the chains that are keeping you in that negative state.

Hey, where or how did you learn this? This is Adlerian Psychology, I've read all about it in "Courage to be Disliked". Recommend to everyone here to check out the book, it gives a very unique perspective on solving various personal issues. Might be not life changing, but mind-boggling for sure 🙂

Thank you for your work @James Good, I agree and follow everything you say heh

Po

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21 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Your post reminded me of this thing I read about finding your Ikigai or purpose. It's the thing that motivates you most like family or work. My ikigai is to rest. I just love resting so I'm going to make enough money and investments so that I can just rest all the time and not work I think.

Yeah, I love the idea of Ikigai. It sums up a lot of my beliefs in a way that's so beautifully Japanese. Eternal resting sounds like a great plan!

The closest thing I've found to my Ikigai is teaching. I've dabbled in a number of different things in the past to do with teaching, but this time, with the gaming addiction stuff, it feels different. I feel purposeful, guided, passionate. Maybe this is my Ikigai after all... 🤔

 

17 hours ago, Pochatok said:

Hey, where or how did you learn this? This is Adlerian Psychology, I've read all about it in "Courage to be Disliked". Recommend to everyone here to check out the book, it gives a very unique perspective on solving various personal issues. Might be not life changing, but mind-boggling for sure 🙂

Thank you for your work @James Good, I agree and follow everything you say heh

Po

Honestly? No idea. I know that a lot of types of psychology get reworked and adapted into a number of self-improvement resources, so maybe I just picked it up over the last 6-7 years of learning. I'll make sure to look further into Adlerian Psychology, it looks interesting! And I love any excuse to read a mind-boggling book 😄

Thank you for the kind words. It's a pleasure to give back in any way I can.

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On 11/22/2020 at 7:02 AM, James Good said:

Recently I've found myself struggling with one very important thing - clarity.

It's natural to feel some doubt about what you're doing when you take on a new project or try to accomplish something big. Ultimately, it comes down to fear.

You're afraid that you'll be stuck in the same place in 1 year as you are now, and should never have bothered trying in the first place. This is exactly how I've felt once or twice this week.

So, if it's a natural part of growth is there anything you can do stop it? Not really...

1. In the past, when I first started my journey of self-improvement and entrepreneurship, I struggled with this a lot. I started and failed countless times, all because I gave up when things got tough. I doubted what I was doing so much that I convinced myself there was no point continuing.

Over time, however, I began to learn how to overcome this.

It has nothing to do with stopping the fear, but learning to live with it and overcome it as quickly as possible.

2. It's similar to cravings. It's normal to get cravings to play video games, but whether you go back to playing is all dependent on how long you stay in that negative state.

If you don't shut it down quickly and change your emotions, you're more than likely going to act out on your cravings sooner or later. So, in the past when I had a relapse it would last months at a time. My most recent relapse lasted just one day, and now I'm confident that I'll never go back.

Going back to clarity...

3. These emotions; fear, anxiety, worry, they're all normal. What's important is realizing you are in complete control of your emotional state.

You can choose to feel anxious, or you can choose to feel passionate, you just need some way to break the chains that are keeping you in that negative state.

For me, the thing that breaks it is talking to a friend and looking at the reasons why I'm doing this.

It's not that the goals inspire me, it's that the fear of not achieving them is so great that not continuing is no longer an option. I've failed too many times to give up now, and the standards I set for myself are much higher.

If you find yourself struggling to continue with a task, or to stay motivated over the long term, consider this:

Why are you actually doing this? Why is it so important to you? What will happen if I don't carry on? Who am I going to disappoint?

Don't just say "I want more money", or "I want to get in shape". Dig deep. Spend time in silence reflecting on it. Internalize your why so deeply that it's always on your mind. Wake up every day and remind yourself of your why. Let it dictate every decision you make until you're only serving this one purpose.

 

Only when you overcome fear can you truly move towards building a better life for yourself.

Welcome back James, I hope you are doing well. On point 1, acting under the circumstances of uncertainty is actually the greatest thing to have for your personal development because you get to do so many things that would otherwise be impossible. You can be creative with solutions, improvise to an extent like an actor, use uncertainty to your advantage and apply pressure on the other side to win them over. At least that is how it is in the legal profession. Of course, when money and your future goals are on the line, it isn’t “fun” to be acting in the face of uncertainty. But uncertainty is what brings you to life like no other thing does. It connects to your statement that these things are quite natural aspects of our character and development. I like to think that if I can become ridiculously good at planning, my acting side becomes alive. This is because with good planning you can have greater intelligence in the moment. A completely new solution can come to you just because you planned this thing out. I will try to write about the other points later.

 

point number three: may I ask about the context in which this happened to you? If this was at the academic stage of your career then my following point is not relevant because in that setting your progress in most instances is judged according to arbitrary criteria.

Were you working under somebody’s guidance and felt that the guidance wasn’t right? How prepared are you to challenge an employer if what he is doing goes against your principles or well being of the organization?. People say that you can always find another job but this also depends on your networking and communication skills.

Basically I am trying to say that as it is wrong to give up in the face of uncertainty and difficult working conditions, it is also wrong to be carrying on in the setting where the environment is putting all sorts of obstacles in your way and is trying to kill your life force. You have to influence that environment to change it or leave it. This can be a good time to tell them where they should be going.

Edited by Amphibian220
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