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Alex's Journal


Alejandro

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Hi all,

I'm new here ! Today is day 1 of 90 and I'm enthused, curious, eager and of course nervous about my upcoming journey but I know that you are all here to support!

A few takeaways from day 1:

I had what felt like the most productive day I've had in months ... I got a haircut, did some shopping, talked to a mechanic about my car getting fixed up, journaled, reflected, went for a long walk and got adequate sleep. The stubbornness, deception and denial attached to being a gaming addict is an ugly side that I no longer want anything to do with. I have yet to decide which hobbies I will be taking up , but I have a few ideas and I am more than willing to be patient with the process. I'm excited for day 2. Thanks for reading.

Alex

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Welcome to the forums. There will be many days like this followed by days where you're constantly trying to chase this productivity and it can get you frustrated. Then it leads to cravings. Take this whole process in stride and be patient throughout it all. This is a great journey you're embarking on. Good luck.

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Day 2:

Much less productive as expected(you were right BooksandTrees) ! but still a good day. It was lovely outside so I went for 2 long walks, listened to some podcasts and did a few word puzzles. My lower back has been super sore the past few days which has delayed my return to the gym and hot yoga studio but that's okay! I'm not trying to rush it and I am fully confident I will return when my body is ready. I am much more able to observe my emotions and thoughts when I am not fully submerged in the gaming realm and I find it a lot easier to manage my mood this way. Before, it was like all my thoughts and emotions were sidelined until I went to bed, and then my mind was under siege at the worst possible time, which was when I was trying to sleep. It makes me realize that the routine I was in was not beneficial for my MH whatsoever. I am grateful I've started this journey. 

Alex

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Day 3:

My brother came unto town so I got to spend some good time with him. We watched a few episodes of one of our old favourite shows. I've been extra conscious of my screen time lately and this was a nice treat ! My cravings have been very minimal. I checked the scores of the League of Legends world championships on a Google search and saw that my favourite team was eliminated . I feel bad for them but I realize that this also means it will be one less distraction on my journey . My body is still out of sorts so I figure a few more days rest will do. The people I've told about my 90 day cleanse are all very supportive. ( I think it's important to be selective about who you tell these things, especially when it is early on in the journey. ) I do not miss social media at all.

Alex

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Day 4:

A slow, methodical day. I had my classic long walk, I played some cards with my folks, listened to a few podcasts and caught up on some overdue laundry !

I've been going to bed quite early (930 / 10pm) and it feels amazing. I'm getting the rest my mind and body has needed for some time. I hope anyone reading this is doing well.

Alex

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Day 5:

A groggy, emotional start to the day. I felt consumed by something as if I were gaming but I was not . I sat in my car doing nothing for about 15 minutes or so, totally somewhere else. I eventually snapped out of the funk and got on with my day. I did some groceries, went for 2 walks,  did a mini home workout (it's been ages since one of these - it was nice) and listened to some podcasts. I want to make physiotherapy for my shoulder another priority on my journey as it has been plaguing me for some time. I stumbled across some great breath work material in the podcasts I was listening to today and I want to incorporate daily breath work into my routine as well. It was an interesting day - I'm glad it got progressively better !

Alex

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Day 6:

I brought my car in to a mechanic today, which was giving me a lot of anxiety and actually was part of my dream last night. Car stuff is new to me and I had mixed feelings about the mechanic I was bringing it into, but the whole process today ended up going over quite seamlessly. I think it's amazing how powerful pre-conceived notions in our head can be - how our mind thinks a certain situation will play out a lot of the time isn't reality, so it's important to challenge this kind of thinking.

I set up a physio appointment for my shoulder which I had been meaning to do for quite some time. It feels good to address some of my physical discomfort !

Went for a walk of course

Went to the gym for the first time in about a month and I feel out of shape ! haha

Also played some cards with my stepdad and ended up having a really high quality conversation with my mother in the evening. Quitting gaming has allowed me to embrace and enjoy these types of conversation, instead of dismissing them to prioritize gaming.

Alex

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Day 7:

Had my first physio appt with my new physiotherapist. The session was useful and a lot more thorough compared to my old physiotherapist. I picked up my car from the mechanic. $950 later, my car is in a lot better shape, sounds a lot healthier and is almost all good to go. I read a lot today... currently reading The Hobbit. It is worth the hype in my opinion - definitely recommend. I went for a run. It was a short one since I'm trying to ease back into it, but it felt good. It was also very sunny which enhanced the experience. Off to some podcasts before bed !

Oh yeah, I'm going to practice incorporating gratitude into my journals.

Today I am thankful for my brother !

Alex

 

 

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Day 8: 

Slept in but convinced myself to meditate for about 10mins. From now on I am setting an alarm - I believe that oversleeping is making me quite foggy for the first part of the day. I'm also going to try to modify what I'm having for breakfast so I can have better energy levels to start the day. I hit the gym, went for a walk and watched a good chunk of Stranger Things season 2. My goal by Friday next week is to have the rest of my car issues sorted.

Today I'm grateful for: warm showers

Alex

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I always feel like my brain is in a vice if I sleep too much.

Have you tried monitoring the length/quality of your sleep? I used to use a really good app on Android for years but I can't remember it now, but fitbit and garmin also have ways to track your sleep. It will recommend how long you should be sleeping and what times to go to bed and wake up to get the most out of it. I can also schedule to wake you up in a high point of your sleep so you're less groggy.

Try also drinking 500ml of water as soon as you wake up - you will be dehydrated and your brain is running on empty. The majority of society confuse this with caffeine withdrawals and drink coffee - which is a diuretic and makes the situation worse.

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Day 9: 

I set my alarm, didn't oversleep, showered and then meditated. Also modified my breakfast and my energy levels were great. I set up an appt for my car on monday, I went downtown and went for a walk + grabbed a tea, came home and did my physio exercises, had a family dinner and then watched Stranger things in the evening. I'm aware netflixing isn't the best choice for a replacement hobby but every now and then I don't mind Bingeing a season or 2.

Today I'm grateful for my general overall health

Alex

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Good stuff, Alejandro. It's great to read that things are settling well for you! The Hobbit's a fun read. I finally got around to finishing Lord of the Rings a little while ago, after it spent years sitting on the 'I'll get to it later' shelf. I might have to dust off Bilbo and refresh myself there, too!

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Day 10:

Woke up early and then hit the gym , Showered, then met my dad for lunch. It was great. He's very supportive and commending of my journey. Came home and finished the rest of Stranger things S3. Went for a walk, had some dinner and then watched the Epstein documentary.

Today I'm grateful for: the gym.

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Day 11:

Woke up and hit the gym again . I'm becoming more of a morning person and and a lot more productive during the morning. Going to bed at a reasonable hour helps immensely ! I played some card games with my folks for a few hours and then did my physio exercises. I had a bite and then wound down with a few episodes of a food documentary series , and then some episodes of good old fashioned Trailer Park Boys. 

Today I'm grateful for: My dad

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Day 12:

Woke up, caught up on some journaling and hit the gym. Morning workouts are great because mornings are when I have most of my energy and willpower, plus the 'I should work out' voice in the back of my head doesn't nag at me all day long. I came home, showered, ate, sent some emails and purchased a hot yoga pass good for 10 sessions. Classes are super booked due to reduced class sizes so I'm not sure when I'll be able to get to a hot yoga class but I will be at the ready. I went for a walk, read my book, and took my car in to get a stone chip fixed on the windshield, but it turned out it had already been repaired and I returned home. Long story short, the chip was repaired when my dad owned the car, and I just noticed it recently after it was brought up at a safety inspection. I wound down with some Trailer Park Boys, LOTR fellowship (extended) disc one, and a few youtube videos.

Today I'm grateful for: The sun

alex

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Day 14:

Happy 2 weeks, me!

Woke up early, dropped my car off at the mechanic and jogged home. Felt great. Came home, head breakfast over a crossword puzzle and showered. I read my book, sent an email, went for a walk and then picked up my car. Watched some Trailer park boys and some LOTR in the evening.

Today I'm grateful for: my summer job

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Day 16:

Did a crossword, brought my car in for a windshield replacement, then had a nice phone call with my brother. We reminisced about our elementary school days and some of the funny stories during that time. Then I went to the gym, came home and did some laundry and then watched a few Arrested Development episodes in the evening.

Thankful for: Music

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Day 17:

Caught up on some journaling upon waking up, and booked myself a yoga class for a few weeks from now. The yoga studio has had to drastically reduce its class sizes because of COVID and you must pre-register for classes so a lot of the time classes are booked full, and it's very hard to get in for a class when you want. I went for 2 nice walks - we have had quite a nice little spurt of warm weather over the past few days. That being said, I went to the schoolyard where I had been working out this past spring/summer during COVID when gyms were closed. I did a mini workout and was overtook with sadness and nostalgia. I realized it was likely my last outdoor workout there for the season and it was tough letting that go, because this schoolyard was my happy place for many months. I was very disciplined and there was great satisfaction in being still driven to keep fit whilst gyms were closed. Some negative emotion was present because I can be quite obsessive about my physique and it's tough for me to accept the bulking phase which I'm embarking on, when I was just in the best shape of my life some months ago.  That being said, I know I will rise again, come summer 2021 and who knows - maybe even improve upon my 2020 physique !

My brother came into town yesterday as well and we got to catch up, as well as watch a few episodes of LOST, one of our old favourite shows. (we just finished S3)

I'm thankful for: my bed

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Day 18:

Did a crossword, caught up on some journaling, went for a walk, did some laundry, read my book, played a few card games, then hung out with my brother in the evening and watched some LOST.

Thankful for: the last 3-4 days of nice weather we've been blessed with. (we've had an average temperature of 20 degrees Celsius for the past few days. I live in Canada and this is unheard of at this time of year)

Alex 

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Day 19:

Went to a physio appointment, walked to the bank to deposit a cheque, did a crossword, went for a run with my dad and then had a good chat, watched some self improvement videos which inspired me to learn some form of combat.

Thankful for: my cousins

Alex

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