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30-Day Challenge


Big Adam

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Day 9:

No Games: ✔️

No Junk Food: 

Yesterday was weird.  I skipped Jiu-Jitsu in the evening because of the annoyingly persistent minor cold symptoms.  Around 8:00, I felt a weird sense of despair and noticed that my mind was extremely self-critical.  I really wanted to say "to hell with it" and play video games + eat junk food to get rid of the feelings.  I didn't.  I had some popcorn and pistachios - technically junk food under my personal list, but not too damaging to my diet. I didn't play any games and I went to bed on time.  

It was a very strange mood.  I kept thinking that my time for romance in my life was over.  That 32 is too old to find a really great girl and have a great relationship, let alone get married or have kids.  Everything about my life seemed inadequate.  Like "I should have a better apartment by now", a better job by now, a girlfriend by now, friends I see more often.  In the light of day, I don't think all that is true.  But it really felt true last night.  I'll continue with the gaming fast because even though I don't think the above judgements are true, I am in a slight rut.  I don't feel that I've made significant progress towards my goals in a while.  I'm not very prone to depression, but I had a case of it back in College when I felt similarly "stuck".  It was trying new things that got me past that.  I'm not sure what the next step for me is, but I think cutting out games will leave my head more clear and better able to determine the next step.

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Day 10:

No Games: ✔️

No Junk Food: ✔️

Back to normal yesterday.  Still slightly sick.  It's a pain in the butt.  I skipped the gym after work because I felt unusually tired.  Took a walk, did some woodcarving, called a friend I hadn't talked to in a while.

Following up on my weird mood from day 9: Part of making myself an attractive person is staying in contact with friends so that all of my need for connection doesn't fall onto the head of one person. Hence giving my friend a call.  I plan to be proactive in maintaining relationships with my distant friends and setting up events with my local ones.  If I do meet a great girl, she can't be my sole source of connection. I need to be able to call and hang out with other people.  And I don't need to create those relationships from scratch.  I'm blessed to have some good friends. I need to be proactive in keeping those relationships fresh and not expect them to always reach out first.

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That is a great thought Little Adam. I think I used to suffer from the same problem, I would be boots and all with one friend that I liked and therefore would become overbearing. I overcame that by getting a life coach or a therapist for a little while. It meant that I could really unload and get out everything that I was building up or wanted to talk to, without the guilt of putting all my problems onto the one person who would then not want to talk to me for a week or two. Instead, I didn't feel guilty because I was paying someone to listen, and they wouldn't feel overburdened because they were trained in this field, and did not have an emotional connection to me. I know there are many discussions about the usefulness of life coaches or therapists, but I found it useful in that aspect.

A substitute for it is longer journal posts, pending how much free time you have.

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Day 12:

No Games: ✔️

No Junk Food: ✔️

I think I'm finally recovered from my cold!  And hope so. It's been annoyingly persistent.  I think taking yesterday off and getting a lot of sleep really helped.  If no symptoms reappear, I'll go back to jiu-jitsu tomorrow morning and start setting up dates again.

Other than the usual: My new nightstand arrived. I spent an hour assembling it and rearranging my bedroom.  The whole room feels much nicer. Prior to this, I was using an old Vacuum Cleaner box as my nightstand 😄.  Looks much more like an adult's bedroom now.  I also finished up my latest woodcarving.  It will be a gift for my local coffee shop.  I go there almost every day and know the people there.  The shop has an owl theme, as you might gather.

IMG_20201008_214233.thumb.jpg.923b61e2c0199420bfd38e4ab90a3922.jpg

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Day 14:

No Games: ✔️

No Junk Food:

 

Got back to Jiu-Jitsu yesterday morning.  That felt good and was a great way to start off the weekend.  Went home, had a steak lunch, then hung out with a friend at my local coffee shop.  First half of the day was excellent. In the evening, I got bored and restless. Rather than taking a walk or meditating, I just browsed the internet attempting to distract myself.  I felt very strongly tempted to play games and also very strongly tempted to eat junk.  I made a compromise with myself and bought some mixed nuts with rasins to snack on.  Still technically junk food under my self-defined rules.  But not something that will affect my sleep or cause my weight to spike.  I did not play any games, but it was close. If I'd had my controller available, I probably would have.

So how do I deal with the next close call like that?  My first thought is that I should take a walk to clear my mind when I get bored and restless.  Maybe structure my time in the evenings more wisely.  I can set aside 15-20 minutes for aimless internet browsing, but when that time is done, I need to go do something else.  I'll try making a loose schedule for the evening tonight.

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Day 15:

No Games: ✔️

No Junk Food: ✔️

Good day yesterday. Had a long call with an old friend in the morning.  It felt good to reconnect with him and we decided to do it again in about a month.  I'm glad I reached out.  Growing up, I always felt like I was imposing by calling someone up just to talk or setting up a time to hang out without anything special planned. I'm learning to get past that mindset.  Went to the gym, cooked some good food, and tried to clean out the P-Trap in my bathroom sink.  I succeeded in cleaning it, but couldn't reattach the trap without the sink leaking.  It looks like it's missing a part.  Whoever attached it last time - I don't know how they got it to stop leaking because there is no bolt or rubber stopper to secure it to the sink.  I put in a maintenance ticket with my landlord because although I'm comfortable with a regular p-trap, I don't know what's missing for this one.

Week 2 Progress in my three areas of focus:

  • Weight: Went up slightly.  176.2 last week to 176.8.  Probably from those two nights where I ate nuts.  This week I'll be back to Jiu-jitsu on Monday and Wednesday weeknights. This will make diet compliance easier since I certainly won't be bored at home on those evenings.
  • Supplemental Income: Read a few more chapters of the Real Estate book.
  • Dating: Scheduled dates for Tuesday and Saturday this week.

Other Victories:

  • Finished my Owl woodcarving and gave it to the Coffee Shop as a gift.
  • Reconnected with two old friends on my own initiative.
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Day 16:

No Games: 

No Junk Food: ✔️

I played games for a few hours last night.  I said the other day that I was sure that I had recovered from my cold. Well, maybe not. I felt tired and sluggish and had a cough yesterday.  I was frustrated enough that I felt like playing games was reasonable.  I thought: Geez, I was excited to get back to Jiu-Jitsu and start going on dates again. I thought it would be back to my normal routine. Now I need to wait again and maybe cancel my dates.  Screw it, I'm playing some games.  I still went to bed on time and didn't eat any junk.

Afterwards, as I journaled before bed: I thought about what practices in the past have helped me stick to good habits.  I realized that I hadn't done my gratitude journal consistently. Nor had I been meditating as I used to. I outlined a few daily practices that I think will help me. Important: the notes below are guidelines, not rules.  The only things I need to do to call my day a success are refrain from games and junk food.  The bullet points below are what an ideal day looks like:

Ideal Rituals:

  • Each Morning before work: Write three things I'm grateful for and read Daily Stoic.
  • Right after work: Cleanse my brain with a walk, gym session, or nap before doing anything else.
  • Before Bed: Journal, then meditate a few minutes.

Ideal Habits:

  • Eat two meals per day and fast between meals.
  • Go to Bed on time every night.
  • Game only on weekends (after this challenge)
  • Schedule time each day for Social Media and TV and only use them within those blocks.
  • Masturbate only twice per week and use your imagination instead of porn.

Again: What I've outlined above are my ideal habits. I will use them as just that: The Ideal, not the minimum Passing Grade.  No Games and No Junk food is the passing grade. All the above is the Valedictorian Route.  I've written these ideal habits down and put them up on my wall as a reminder.  I did my morning ritual today and plan to go to the gym right after work today.

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