30 years passed and 1000s of hours wasted

[Daniel_AT]

This is my story. I´m not sure why I write it here - maybe because I never summarized that clearly my own stupidity. I hope it will help me and maybe others to end this painful addiction. Gaming is as life destroying as any other forms of dependency like drugs, alcohol, sex or medicament abuse. Feel free to learn from my failures, call me an idiot or just wish me well for the future. Somehow I made it and somehow still those addiction hurts me. 

Level 0: I started playing video games back in the late 80´s when there were still gaming halls around. I loved the machines and I spend all my pocket money on those, pointlessly putting in coin after coin into a new tryout. I cannot remember when it all started, was it when I was in one of the gaming halls with some friends? Not sure anymore. However, before I turned 8, I committed my "one and only" crime because of my addiction.

Level 1: My brother, much older than me was working waiting tables by this time - he was mid twenty. He and his wife were newly married and a kid was on the way. He was working very hard while putting the tips into a "savings jar". As we all lived together, I knew where the money was. Over weeks I took small amounts out of this jar, and I spend it all in the gaming hall. He realized something was fishy and instead of blaming me, he suspected his wife was responsible for the cash missing. The situation was getting toxic around the house but for weeks, nobody even thought about me being the offender. I cannot remember how they realized, I guess someone gave them a tip I´m spending much time in the game hall. It was one of the most embarrassing moments being confronted with the shame & guilt being a thief inside the family. My mother was deeply embarrassed and repaid the money to my brother. My brothers wife hated me since than. After this incident, 2 years followed where I had little, no access to game halls as we moved out of the city into a small town / village. 

Level 2: A few years later, in middle school, I got my first C64. I have wasted countless weeks to play "Elite" - retrospectively, a complete stupid program. For weeks I was not able to properly dock at a space stations while still tried over and over and over again. What followed? My school grades degenerated from being an A-student down to repeating a school year. I cannot remember my father, as he separated with my mother when I was little, than he died. Being a child / teenager of a single mother, I realized soon how little control she had over me. She could not teach me any values or skills a young boy would need. She struggled with life herself being a mess on her own all the time. The situation was uneasy, financially as well as overall, so I escaped the harsh reality by beaming myself into a virtual fantasy. Part of the problem was as well the fact that being poor, shy and not really good in sports / looks, I was anyway on the bottom or any social hierarchy - so leading a "pirate crew" in "Pirates" or an empire in "Civilization" seemed like a good alternative. 

Level 3: An Intel386 PC  which I bought from a friend.  The drama repeated with Civilization, Colonization, Master of Orion, Pirates and may more games I cannot even remember. Instead of playing sports or chasing after anything of value, I decided to spend summers playing mindlessly. I dropped out of school and after huge fights with my mom, I moved out and got a waiting tables job. I was working like mad, 16 hours per day but only 2 months into my "grown up" life, I spend a whole months salary on a great new PC.... nights followed where I just played ""Wing Commander Privateer" and was not really fit anymore to work the next morning. I was not able to focus and my thoughts just rotated around getting as soon as possible back in front of the screen. I had a car cash because of driving tired from gaming and drunk. I hit a wall with 60mph being lucky enough that the airbag and the belts saved me. This situation led to a small "epiphany" at least making me quit my dull waiting tables job and starting a training for a profession. It was the same time I got together with my first girlfriend - something I screwed up badly too. Instead of spending time with her, I focused on "Civilization 2 - Test of Time". She was patient and loving but as I continued wasting my evenings, she realized I´m a hopeless case and we split.

Level 4: After finishing my apprenticeship and moving towns I switched as well the industry going into financial services. Got a decent call center job while same time applying to go to a local college. First it went all well, until the new "Medieval Total War" came out. While studying career parallel, I was not able to prepare properly for tests as I was constantly chasing pixeled soldiers on my computer screen, trying to "run down with my light cavalry the routed enemy troops to kill or for money". Looking back, what kind of idiocy. I failed 3rd attempt for a finance management exam and they kicked me out of college. I signed into another one and repeated by stupidity, than a 3rd one which I later finally finished and graduated with an MSc.

Level 5: Coming from the bottom of social standing / hierarchy, I managed to move in the corporate ranks over the last 20 years. Starting a call center agent, finishing my studies and participating in internal development programs, I turned team leader, later divisional head and finally as CEO of a company. Many would say that´s nothing special, still I´m the best in my family / from my background and proud of it. All those years, gaming was around all the time. In 2008, Empire Total War came out, which triggered me to install STEAM. Two years later, Star Trek Online. Europa Universalis IV and some others, but effectively I wasted years on Paradox Games, Civilization and Total War Franchise.

Level 6: my wife who I met 13 years ago, tolerated and still tolerates my addiction as I´m a "functional addict".  I go to work and bring enough money to pay the bills. I don´t drink, don´t do drugs or have any other issues she would need to deal with. I cannot remember a single time she challenged me on the hours I spend in front of my PC. She learned to go to bed without me while I sit there until midnight clicking around like an idiot. Five years ago we got two most lovely baby girls. All those years, instead of spending as much time as I could with them, they see me pointlessly playing Stellaris, EUIV, Imperator Rome and Mount and Blade. They try to interact with my by asking if they can sit on my lap and if I could explain if "it´s my star-ship, horse or weapon". I always try to persuade them to leave me alone. I turn on the TV or give them my cell phone or the Ipad so they focus on this. What I do is pathetic beyond belief. 

Level 7: on new years eve 2020 I stumbled across game quitters content on YouTube while researching for cheat codes on  "Master of Orion". I was impressed with the content and it motivated me as I realized I´m not the only guy wasting a big portion of my life on nothing. I logged off completely from gaming and stayed "sober" for 3 months. Unplugging was easier than I imagined, only a few days I was thinking about getting back to the addiction. While surfing the internet I have also seen a very good meme that triggered me a lot. Too bad I have not saved it to share, it looked something like this:

"a fat guy sitting in his underwear in a basement that is filled with garbage. A plant that has died is on the table and cans of coke & pizza boxes are lying around. This guy has flies circulating him as it seems he has not showered in days and the curtains are closed so no sunlight can enter the room. He is in front of a TV screen and holds a game controller. On the screen there is a flashing sign "Level 100" and he yells out "Level 100!!!! So who´s the king now!!!".

This internet meme triggered me as badly as those different YouTube videos from Cam about his way to get out of the addiction. Somehow, I have seen myself in this picture and I felt deeply ashamed. I´m not fat (while I could be more fit) nor living in a garbage yard or with dying plants, somehow this picture went straight to the bone. 

Than, mid March 2020 the Corona-Crisis started. Being stuck with home office and with new "Mount & Blade Bannerlord" release, I relapsed on 1st of April. Five months passed and again countless weeks wasted. Now since 14 days, overwhelmed with shame and guilt, I´m bouncing back and forth between uninstalling everything and than in panic reinstalling all games again. As I write this, I´m tired as hell because of going to bed very late - played Colonization for last 4 days straight only being frustrated with the results and restarting a new game. If only I could explain to myself why I do this? What´s the point in chasing a steam achievement or painting a virtual map in the color of my faction? It´s completely worthless and ads no value on anything. 

I looked up my steam library and counted about 20.000 hours played only on on this platform all games combined. Adding on top what I played before since I was a kid and on mobile, maybe overall 30.000 to 40.000 hours!?! This is roughly 4,5 years taking into account full 24 hours or 5000 days in 8 hours "shifts" which is a total of 14 years. Depending on the figures, if you´d take an average $20 per hours (which is very low) and calculate it, I wasted $800.000 no interest included. That could have been a nice starting package for my kids. Adding on top the fact that I´m now mid forty and not very fit - I wasted a big portion of my life on nothing. 

I don´t blame anyone but myself - nobody was pointing a gun to my head and forcing me. I simply should have known better. However, I think that gaming addiction needs same attention as other forms of addictive behavior, particularly among boys & men. Gaming addresses our deep desire for purpose, competition and accomplishment which we don´t get anymore in society. Men & boys are now the most oppressed social group in the west. Our natural drive to compete and be competent is constantly labeled as "toxic" or "oppressive" or "violent" while fatherless homes provide no role models anymore. Put on top the fact that approaching a girl these days can be potentially dangerous and the fact that many of us have seen their fathers destroyed by divorce and that there is no respect anymore for hard working men providing for their families, what is left for a man to strive for? Too many of us just check out of life and move into virtual fantasy as they don´t want to play the "real life" game that is badly rigged. I am one of those "check out of reality" people and I want to stop being one. 

NVidia game streaming now turns a shitty PC into a gaming powerhouse while tomorrow, Crusader Kings 3 launches. I have not bought a copy and I plan not to do so. Wish me luck as I aim to add another 4 months this year without playing - this would mean 7 out of 12 months "clean". 

Thanks Cam for creating a community for all the people out there that try to overcome their addiction. 

Level 8 - Endgame: Now until FOREVER: get fit, enjoy life & family, computer is just a tool for work - help others to quit this shit! Stop playing yourself & start gaming your life. 

Edited August 31, 2020 by Daniel_AT
typos

[Arthur]

I read this from start to finish, and I instantly like you. Your writing style is very mature and level headed, but I bet you are boiling inside non-the-less. Welcome. Try keeping a daily/weekly journal to drill into your head this level 8 lifestyle you are going for.

I love seeing older people here, it is useful for us younger guys to see cumulative consequences of our habits in the long run. Gladly, you seem to be in a pretty good place regardless of your terrible addiction. Your wife is a blessing, go make up for all those time she was patient and understanding. 40 000 hours spent on games, yeah... I mean, what to say... I'm 27 y.o. and I maybe spent between 15 000 and 20 000 hours gaming, or watching others play. Considering I'm "highly gifted" when it comes to IQ, so I learn pretty damn fast, with that amount of time I could've been a college professor by now in any field and speak a couple of more languages fluently. But no, I had to be top player in LoL and have a guild in WoW, and I have not graduated still. I know for a fact there is absolutely no way I am going to become an author with that type of lifestyle.

Quote

[...] and that there is no respect anymore for hard working men providing for their families, what is left for a man to strive for?

I lately found my strength in God, and I'm slowly shedding away my craves for approval and doing what society wants me to do. I focus on the best examples, reading holy texts, epic literature, keeping my spirit high. I decided I want to be the strongest man in my bloodline (in mind and spirit primarily, although fitness is high priority as well) and do my absolute best to hand down a better world for my children and my nation. I'll do without societies encouragement, it is what it is.

Anyways, enough about myself. Once again, welcome. I wish you all the best.

 

Edited August 31, 2020 by gargamel

[ceponatia]

Blame is a strange concept when it comes to addiction. Sure, you could blame yourself if you wanted to and we could all certainly point the finger at someone or something that made us the way we are as well. It's noble and empowering to accept blame but if we're being fair, millions of things share the blame for any aspect of our personality.

Instead of blame, try to just look at the past as a thing that happened and try to understand why it happened in a detached manner. When we really understand why we do what we do then we can fully attempt to change. I've been addicted to many things throughout my life; gaming was the least deadly but has been present through all of the other addictions. Through lots of therapy, reading, and thought I can certainly point a finger pretty accurately at situations that made me who I was when I was isolated in an apartment drinking a case of beer every night and being a pretty vivid example of the meme you cited. I don't hate the people who contributed to my myriad mental "illnesses" (as if who we are can be a sickness) but I understand their role and know to avoid people like them in the future and in the case of relatives at least maintain some distance and boundaries.

But you're right, nobody held a gun to our heads. At the end of the day we still decide what we do. There are forces beyond willpower, though.

I think that's what makes Gamequitters very powerful: Cam understands addiction pretty well and knows that you can't really succeed in abstinence without a plan. In modern Western society, boredom is the worst possible state.

[Daniel_AT]

@ceponatia

Thanks for your words. Maybe you misinterpreted my statement a bit - "blame" in my context is what you summarize as "analyzing why something happened and try to understand and to avoid or learn from a situation so that future decisions won´t be repeated".

Someone could say, I´m blaming myself or "hold myself accountable" or any other description that fits. Effectively, it was me who chose to waste the most precious resource we got which is time, for an activity that adds noting to the value in any kind of way. I don´t think that this addiction is "beyond willpower" as it´s not an external event forcing us into particular behavior. It´s really a matter of choice. Many of us just don´s see alternatives how to create purpose and what´s the best way to direct their energy into. This might be a side effect of missing proper role models in society. 

If you look at most of the people suffering from gaming addiction, it´s a mixture of boredom, lack of purpose and easy access with relatively low costs. It´s also convenient as you don´t need to go somewhere.  It´s  relatively well accepted in society - at least not heavily criticized like alcohol or drugs. So all these parameters are  making it very easy to drop in - and as you don´t suffer immediately from health issues nobody will notice quickly enough when the step between "casual" and "toxic" is taken. 

Gaming addresses very nicely the sense of achievement, progress and authority- things not easily or quickly seen in real life. Due to nature how men are wired, it´s what we strive for in life. I we cannot get it or don´t know how to do it, we look for sources that give us this feeling.

[Daniel_AT]

@gargamel Thanks for your encouraging words - which I´d like to mirror back at your own struggle. It´s good to hear you have found a source of purpose that encourages you to get better and stronger. Never allow society to define what you should do. However, use your time to follow your dreams. If you want to become an author, start writing.  One page per day and after a year - you have a book to publish.

 

[ceponatia]

11 hours ago, Daniel_AT said:

@ceponatia

Thanks for your words. Maybe you misinterpreted my statement a bit - "blame" in my context is what you summarize as "analyzing why something happened and try to understand and to avoid or learn from a situation so that future decisions won´t be repeated".

Someone could say, I´m blaming myself or "hold myself accountable" or any other description that fits. Effectively, it was me who chose to waste the most precious resource we got which is time, for an activity that adds noting to the value in any kind of way. I don´t think that this addiction is "beyond willpower" as it´s not an external event forcing us into particular behavior. It´s really a matter of choice. Many of us just don´s see alternatives how to create purpose and what´s the best way to direct their energy into. This might be a side effect of missing proper role models in society. 

If you look at most of the people suffering from gaming addiction, it´s a mixture of boredom, lack of purpose and easy access with relatively low costs. It´s also convenient as you don´t need to go somewhere.  It´s  relatively well accepted in society - at least not heavily criticized like alcohol or drugs. So all these parameters are  making it very easy to drop in - and as you don´t suffer immediately from health issues nobody will notice quickly enough when the step between "casual" and "toxic" is taken. 

Gaming addresses very nicely the sense of achievement, progress and authority- things not easily or quickly seen in real life. Due to nature how men are wired, it´s what we strive for in life. I we cannot get it or don´t know how to do it, we look for sources that give us this feeling.

The ease of access and lack of criticism are good points. People are all about not shaming anybody these days, but shame is a powerful emotion and has its place. People should feel shame in certain situations. There certainly is shaming aimed at people who play video games all day every day, but nobody believes that they are doing that. "Sure, I played games for 8 hours yesterday, but I work a full-time job so that's just how I unwind." is a common belief that I've heard. I'm not suggesting that we take to the streets and yell "man-child loser!" at everybody in a GameStop, but there's been an unhealthy acceptance of gaming addiction as normal adult behavior in the last decade or two.

[Daniel_AT]

3 days in and I´m struggling. Especially since I´m getting bombarded with all the emails that CK3 is such a marvelous piece of art.... and rabat codes ect... what a nightmare. 

Last 2 days I used my free time to support my wife in doing chores and to play a lot with my kids and went early to bed. Still, it feels not as good & interesting as sitting in front of the machine and clicking pointlessly.

Wish me luck to make it trough today. 

[Arthur]

1 hour ago, Daniel_AT said:

3 days in and I´m struggling. Especially since I´m getting bombarded with all the emails that CK3 is such a marvelous piece of art.... and rabat codes ect... what a nightmare. 

Last 2 days I used my free time to support my wife in doing chores and to play a lot with my kids and went early to bed. Still, it feels not as good & interesting as sitting in front of the machine and clicking pointlessly.

Wish me luck to make it trough today. 

One of the first problems every person that quit gaming encounters is this issue of boredom, feeling unfulfilled or maybe even thinking nothing can compare to gaming. In some minuscule twisted way you are correct, but in a wider picture you need not fear. What am I talking about?

Well, in a twisted way you are correct that, for an addict, at first nothing compares to what he is addicted to. His brain got "hard"-wired in such a way that it is motivated primarily by engaging in that single activity. Brain needs time to rewire. First, it needs to notice that this crave is unessential, it is not like food, water or sleep. It needs time to get accustomed to lower dopamine levels - addicts have too much of it in their chemistry because our neuro-synapses got used to a loads of dopamine so they need more and more to get a same response. They got resistant to dopamine.

Let's take a simplified scenario and imagine our reward systems in a gamified way:  

1. Let's say your brain needs around 50 "packs" of dopamine (dp) spread out throughout the day to be okey with the day, and a 100 to happy about it
2. let's also say that going for an hour long walk gives you 20, good day at work gives you 60 packs of dopamine and eating a tasty dish gives you 20 when you are really hungry
3. This means if you do those 3 activities successfully in one day, your brain will receive enough dopamine stimulation to make you feel satisfied, happy and and pumped,
   unless you have some things happen to you that will give you "negative dopamine points" (this doesn't exist, but cortisol functions in a similar way, stress, failure, fear)
4. To be more precise: because we need dopamine stimulation throughout the day, (and we are awake around 18 hours a day), an activity needs to give us around (100/18)= 5,55 packs of dopamine in an hour for us to be really into doing it. Hour long walk = 20 dp/h, = "I really wanna go for a walk", successful work day (lets say 8 hour) = 60/8 = 7,5 packs dp/h = "I am looking forward to today's challenges at work, hope everything goes fine", a tasty (takeout) meal = 20 packs in a really short time = "I REALLY want to order take-out right now"
5. But what happens when we get addicted? 
6. At the beginning - we find an activity that gives to us a big amount of dp/h. When we first start gaming, I wouldn't be surprised that playing a new game would give us as much as 30+ dp/h, with diminishing returns of course - first hour would give 30, second hour would give 15, third hour 10 etc. This means that eventually, we will want to switch activities because other activities will give as equal or more amount of dp/h and will also allow us to avoid negative points ("if I do my homework, my mom will not be mad at me")
7. Still, this 30+ packs of dopamine in the first hour is really satisfying and this slowly starts being our favorite activity in a day
8. So we start to play every day, and as we get into this crazy and complex world of gaming we encounter: 1) new social opportunities; 2) amazing stories; 3) new opportunity for competition, etc.
9. Because of the variability of gaming experience, we lower diminishing returns and slowly associate other aspects of our lives with gaming - After a game we brag to our friends about the crazy move we did, giving us 10 dp; later that day we watch a youtuber making a theory about what will happen in the next sequel of our favorite franchise; or we start playing ranked games in an FPS and maybe find out we are better than 90% of players, and we feel proud, potent and strong.
10. This leads to getting as much as 200 dp per day, "gaming is the best thing in the world" we think to ourselves.
11. Because of this we are less likely to seek to compete in other activities, like getting good grades, or getting a promotion, or playing sports
12. We are also less likely to have a social circle outside of a gaming community, because you want to share your deep "love" (which means getting high dp/h) of gaming with others
13. Slowly, your brain notices it is overstimulated with dopamine, and it increases dopamine requirement for synapses to get a response.
14. Now, you require 100 dp per day to be ok with it, 200 to be happy about it, or 11,1 dp/h. BUT going for a walk and working still give 20 and 60 dp respectively.
15. All of the sudden, going to work (which gives you 7,5 dp/h) is not stimulating enough to be happy about it, still enough to be ok with the day. But when you get home you need your fix of high dp/h to get to your wanted 200 dp in a day. 30 dp/h now gives you half as much pleasure as it once did.
16. This leads us to a point that we are going to work not because it is satisfying in itself, but because it provides resources for our addiction - "In 2 months I'll have enough to buy a new PC, I can't wait.")

Ok, I'm sure you get the point. Now, when we stop playing games we need time for our brain to lower dopamine requirements back to normal. In that transitional period it is likely we will feel bored and think that noting can compare to gaming. But if we give it enough time, it will get fine, we will also find new opportunities for competition, working on ourselves, socializing and having fun, and after a while gaming is now a part of the past.
@Ikar I think you will like this.

Edited September 2, 2020 by gargamel

[TheNewMe2.0]

Welcome to the forums. Good luck.

[Ikar]

On 9/2/2020 at 2:49 PM, gargamel said:

At the beginning - we find an activity that gives to us a big amount of dp/h. When we first start gaming, I wouldn't be surprised that playing a new game would give us as much as 30+ dp/h, with diminishing returns of course - first hour would give 30, second hour would give 15, third hour 10 etc. This means that eventually, we will want to switch activities because other activities will give as equal or more amount of dp/h and will also allow us to avoid negative points ("if I do my homework, my mom will not be mad at me")

It would nicely explain why gaming + watching streams or even streaming itself is such a killer combination; I alternated between all of them.

On 9/2/2020 at 2:49 PM, gargamel said:

Because of the variability of gaming experience, we lower diminishing returns and slowly associate other aspects of our lives with gaming - After a game we brag to our friends about the crazy move we did, giving us 10 dp; later that day we watch a youtuber making a theory about what will happen in the next sequel of our favorite franchise; or we start playing ranked games in an FPS and maybe find out we are better than 90% of players, and we feel proud, potent and strong.

100%. Honestly, it's only natural to try and share something that we're good at and to try wrap our identity around it more.

On 9/2/2020 at 2:49 PM, gargamel said:

This leads us to a point that we are going to work not because it is satisfying in itself, but because it provides resources for our addiction - "In 2 months I'll have enough to buy a new PC, I can't wait.")

I think Peterson described addiction as a "mini-personality" of its own inside one's personality. This mini-personality is only after that one thing; be it gaming, drugs, sex, whatever and it will do absolutely anything to satiate itself and to get its resources - it can be by honest work in a job, but it can also be by stealing or by manipulating others. What's interesting is that only a few of these are essential (e.g. you mentioned food, water, sleep) and the rest of them are expendable.

[Daniel_AT]

Back here in the forum after many months. I relapsed in December 2020. While it’s not as bad as before in terms of time wasted, I’m very angry & frustrated with myself. How much better would this time be used for sports, books & family time. However I realise how boring gaming is now... I cannot find the same joy as before.

I’ll go for another try to unplugging, starting today so I don’t wait for another artificial date like the first of may or something.

Lockdowns & home office is not making anything easier. There are no good alternatives besides books & podcasts. Maybe I should smash my pc and jump on it to kill all the anger & frustration I’m holding inside. 

I’m so angry with myself for relapsing. It really sucks to be an addict. How bad must it be for people with a drug or alcohol problem? Gaming is bad but it’s not ruining the body. 

I need to upkeep the discipline - discipline is freedom. 

[Zeno]

Yeah, relapsing can really suck. Not a lot of good can come from kicking yourself too hard, though: you may convince yourself that you're not worth saving!

I've struggled with the pandemic/home office thing, and I've helped myself a lot by rearranging some things in my household, supporting discipline with structure.

I know from experience it can be harder with a family, and it really depends on the size and layout of your dwelling. Still, is your home office a separate room? Would it be possible to set up a spot outside your home office for other kinds of activities, like reading? There may be some negotiation involved.

Also, what time(s) of day do you game? Focus on those as times to develop a new habit.

At least, those are the things that have been helping me. I hope they may be useful to you.

[TheNewMe2.0]

Being a substance addict isn't so good. I have some permanent damage to my throat from all the weed I smoked. And my stomache isn't so godo from the alcohol. I hope that these can maybe get a bit better with time though. The games supposedly erode your willpower and I've experieced this firsthand where I just don't have motivation to do anything but game when I'm gaming. I used to steal money from my parents too. I'd always lie about what it was for and spend it on weed. Even though you're starting again as long as you're on this site and trying to stay clean you're doing a lot better than before when you were in full blown addiction. So keep tryin never give up and you will find a way to quit for good.

[Daniel_AT]

Tank you Zeno & TheNewMe2.0 - appreciate your comments. What I find is that keeping the mind occupied with other things helps a lot to take away focus from gaming. During last days, I literally forced myself to go out and play with my kids in the park rather than sitting at home and mindlessly playing. It was a good decision & we had fun. We went for ice cream and than chasing butterflies, playing soccer and badminton. 

I made it through the last week without gaming, while on Sunday, I did again one hour and than just turned off the machine as it felt so boring. I consider the boredom in front of a PC the most valuable "negative feeling" as it helps me to stay away from playing. If there is no more pleasure from gaming - no dopamine hit - what´s the point? 

I will keep myself busy with a strickt schedule - this week it´s to do my tax filing and some projects at work while using the hopefully good weather with the kids outside. 

Wish me luck fellow ex-gamers.

All the years I thought I play for fun while the only thing I did was playing myself. 

 

 

Edited April 13, 2021 by Daniel_AT

[Daniel_AT]

Hope you all are doing well - I´m 3rd day "game-free" and counting. 

That´s a funny short clip about pro-Gamers like we all used to be - enjoy!

 

[Daniel_AT]

2 weeks since the last post - I managed to quit gaming during the week while very limited over the weekend. It’s not perfect but it’s progress. 
Focus, Focus, Focus

[Daniel_AT]

another 1,5 weeks passed and no gaming during the week and on the weekend. I feel now huge cravings while I keep myself busy as good as I can with the following approach:

1.) Craving comes - I want to play games!

2.) Question to myself: what is a productive alternative to do RIGHT NOW?

3.) Start doing the productive thing immediately without further overthinking.

This "loop" already produced some unusual results:

• sorted out all my paperwork
• done some old tax filing which should pay off in returns.
• spend an hour arguing with my insurance agent this way saving $1000 a year on my car insurance
• started training each afternoon and doing yoga with my kids.
• closed 2 big deals at work much faster than expected. This resulted in "more work - same pay" so I guess no good deed goes unpunished....
• changed my cell phone operator saving money
• listened to 2 very good audio books which I can recommend Greg McKeown - Essentialism & David Gogging - Can´t hurt me
• finally ordered a new office chair which is much better for my back, now I feel less exhausted working from home. 
• done some doctor checkup confirming everything is fine - I could be more fit but I´m fine overall
• helping my wife doing more chores - she´s grumpy as usual - not doing it for her but for myself. 
• going to bed 09pm or 10pm instead of 12pm or 1am as before. Feel bit less trashed in the morning.

 

wish me luck for this & next week

 

 

 

 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Daniel_AT
typos