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How I’m quitting Overwatch


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Hey! My name is Max and I’m 17 yo Russian guy. A little intro how I fucked up my life.    I wasn’t big fan of computer games until 13. That year I decided to move from regular school to online

Hey everybody. I’m past 3 weeks milestone (20 days 21 hours 4 minutes). Last week was great and I would like to share my thoughts. The most important thing obviously is that I didn’t relapse. I d

Hi how's it going? I've quit Gaming for about two years now and I hope I can help. My journey started when I felt like I was wasting all my time on video games in general. First playing RE2 then

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Yesterday I found a very interesting video. I think that this is actually true. I’ve been focusing too much on just not playing, when I should do more important changes. It doesn’t mean that games aren’t a problem and I can go play, because I’m still addicted to them and unable to control. But if I change my life, go to university, find a job I like, make good friends and find a loving girlfriend, I doubt that I would still crave to play for 12 hours a day. My real problem is that my life is pathetic and I’m human garbage. If I wouldn’t change it nothing’s gonna be better no matter how long I stay quit. Games aren’t the root of my problem, they are just indicating that something’s wrong.

 

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Hi I took some minutes to read your earliest and most recent posts and skim over the middle pages. I also followed trough your "my last chance" journal. I will share with you some of my inputs.

 

- You are very young at 17 years old. This is totally NOT your "last chance". I wish I had started quitting games when I was 17 yo. That being said, I remember that when I was 17 yo I was under a lot of stress because of national examination and universities admissions, which you mentioned several times in your diary. Maybe your gaming adction is at the same time a symptom and a cause of that stress and general uncertainty about the future.

- Relapsing is normal. I am currently on my 4th coldtrukey atempt and i had MANY less commited atempt bfore. This also seems to be the case with many journals I have read. It sucks to break our "streak" of days without gaming, but we have to keep in mind that we are not restarting from the zero after a relapse. We always have important lessons to learn from our last relapse and attempt.

- Identifying triggering factors that lead you to gaming can be helpful. Also I find that self-help / spirituality books can also be helpful to understand the underlying causes that lead you into gaming (as just mentioned in your last post).

- I bet many people IRL don't understand what you are going trough, but remember you are not alone in your journey to overcome games.

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Hey, it's good to see you posting. I feel the same way about my life. That it will probably stay the same for a long time. Maybe even forever. But I would say even if I don't make friends or a girlfriend I still enjoy my life more without games. And that keeps me motivated to resist the cravings and not play. I mean hopefully those things happen for me though at some point in time. I'm so focused on getting a new job lately I don't really even want to spend energy on socializing right now. Like @dasvira said it's great that you're quitting at age 17. I didn't successfully pass the 6 month marker until I was in my 30's. Now I'm 32 and about to hit 1 year this month. I think that even if you manage to build and be blessed with a great life. With friends, a girlfriend and a good job family, hobbies etc. You might be less inclined to game and more content with your life. But I would say that you will always have to resist the cravings to game. I don't think those will ever completely go away for anyone. At least not for me from what I've experienced. I've always had cravings that come and go, rise and fall. But they never completely go away forever. They usually come back around at some point in time. I'm about to get a 70" tv to continue my tv watching hobby. So that's cool. Good things happen over time when you quit gaming.

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I just watched Overwatch stream uploaded to YouTube (got in my recommendations) and I’m filled with hate. I can’t stand that community of stupid cunts. They look so pathetic. Looking at Overwatch streamers motivates me to not play this game ever again. 

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I suggest reading "think and grow rich" by Napoleon Hill. It is an inspiring book that has helped me to find what I want out of life. I think it has some essential teachings for anyone who wants to succeed in life. I would recommend reading "Grit: the power of passion and perseverance" by Angela Duckworth along with it. 

These two books are what you need to plan for your future. Read and use the techniques to bring you dream life into reality. 

Edited by Mohammad
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12 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Hey, it's good to see you posting. I feel the same way about my life. That it will probably stay the same for a long time. Maybe even forever. But I would say even if I don't make friends or a girlfriend I still enjoy my life more without games. And that keeps me motivated to resist the cravings and not play. I mean hopefully those things happen for me though at some point in time. I'm so focused on getting a new job lately I don't really even want to spend energy on socializing right now. Like @dasvira said it's great that you're quitting at age 17. I didn't successfully pass the 6 month marker until I was in my 30's. Now I'm 32 and about to hit 1 year this month. I think that even if you manage to build and be blessed with a great life. With friends, a girlfriend and a good job family, hobbies etc. You might be less inclined to game and more content with your life. But I would say that you will always have to resist the cravings to game. I don't think those will ever completely go away for anyone. At least not for me from what I've experienced. I've always had cravings that come and go, rise and fall. But they never completely go away forever. They usually come back around at some point in time. I'm about to get a 70" tv to continue my tv watching hobby. So that's cool. Good things happen over time when you quit gaming.

Erik, for me television is an extension of the media. I feel that my stages of recovery are going faster because I am not watching films either. I watch some targeted educational videos on the internet. I think that if you watch an exciting action film, or listen to stimulating music, or even see a poster depicting the type of game that you enjoy playing, it activates the memories of video games that you played in the past and you experience a craving to play again. I don’t want to spend energy on resisting cravings because will power is very limited. 

My belief is in reformatting the habit entirely. When I gradually acted out wanting to look good, i started noticing guys with well developed biceps and triceps, i started distinguishing guys that dress well and dress horribly. I never used to do that when I was a gamer. My exercise routine is a game in itself, I crave that moment in the morning and do it zealously. I look at ways of improving this routine.

Whocares just had a breakthrough. He realized he wants to be somebody and the more he acts it out, the more cravings he will experience to do things that matter for his success. The only tip I will give is to take it at a measured steady pace. I.e. Don’t try to get an amazing chest and shoulders in one week, but make a one year plan instead.

Edited by Amphibian220
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Hey @WhoCares, I had quite a bit of fun reading through your journey. I'm Russian too by the way(nickname lol).

I kind of agree, gaming is not evil on its own. But when you lose track of how much you play, when you aren't in control of your urges, it is an issue. However, you are right- it is a symptom of bigger issues.

I know therapy is expensive and not at all that good in Russia, so I reccomend just taking apart books that you think you can mentally relate to- for me it was "Noonday Demon", a diary of a person struggling with depression (spoiler: happy ending, they write a book!). Seeing others' lives turn from a complete mess to something good is quite empowering, and helps you get closer to discovering and fixing those underlying issues that cause gaming addiction. 

Also, I would take a few moments every day to reflect on the "productive" things you are doing: do you like the way you work out? Is lifting weights fun, meaningful to you? Are you forcing yourself to eat healthy food, or do you actually enjoy it? Is hanging out with friends a good time, or do you feel disconnected? ``I know some of these questions might be difficult to answer, but asking them is what's important. You might not necessarily know, but having those questions in the back of your head will slowly guide you to a lifestyle that is not only productive but to a lifestyle that you truly enjoy.

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I just relapsed. I won't beat myself up this time, I'm actually pretty satisfied. I had strong cravings to play for a few days, finally installed and... the game is shit, I don't enjoy it anymore. After 4 hours of playtime I uninstalled. Not interested to play anymore. It's like my memories of playing is way better than the actual game. I used to play Overwatch for days long, now I'm tired and bored after a couple of hours. I see progress. This is the way I wanna quit: being actually not interested in playing rather than not play but crave all the time. 

You guys wrote a lot of messages, I'll answer them when I have time, sorry for that.

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My laziness is killing me. I'm such a lazy fuck. Dunno what to do honestly. Perhaps I should plan my day, but when I do so I have not intentions to start because I would have a lot to do and it kinda discourages me to start. I feel like I should start with doing productive stuff for 2 or 3 hours a day and then chill. I'll try it tomorrow. When my goals are too hard and long I'm left with nothing done.

I feel like I should stop wanking on a daily basis, but it feels so good that I'm not sure. 

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4 hours ago, WhoCares said:

My laziness is killing me. I'm such a lazy fuck. Dunno what to do honestly. Perhaps I should plan my day, but when I do so I have not intentions to start because I would have a lot to do and it kinda discourages me to start. I feel like I should start with doing productive stuff for 2 or 3 hours a day and then chill. I'll try it tomorrow. When my goals are too hard and long I'm left with nothing done.

I feel like I should stop wanking on a daily basis, but it feels so good that I'm not sure. 

Do you have any goals beside quitting gaming? You are 17, do you pretend to do any college or other specialising course? (I have no idea ho high school and college admissions work there in Russia...)

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5 hours ago, WhoCares said:

My laziness is killing me. I'm such a lazy fuck. Dunno what to do honestly. Perhaps I should plan my day, but when I do so I have not intentions to start because I would have a lot to do and it kinda discourages me to start. I feel like I should start with doing productive stuff for 2 or 3 hours a day and then chill. I'll try it tomorrow. When my goals are too hard and long I'm left with nothing done.

I feel like I should stop wanking on a daily basis, but it feels so good that I'm not sure. 

Yeah, I'm also pretty lazy lately. I say don't just plan your day, but start it with something productive. I usually get up and go walk my dogs right away, then зарядка(morning fitness), then make my own breakfast, and only then allow myself to turn the PC on and check social media and all that. Last year, I actually joined a boxing club for 5 days/week 6-7AM. That was amazing. Starting my day "right" gives me a boost of confidence and motivation. Try it! Doesn't need to be a lot or difficult, just something to make you feel like the world around you is filled with fun things, and that the things on your to do list are fun.

Regarding wanking: I suggest you avoid /nofap(jeez they crazyyyy) and go instead to yourbrainonporn. But, if porn isn't the thing then nofap is a better place. I honestly think there ain't much wrong with masturbation, but porn does drive people... nuts.

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I had cravings for a couple of hours and I went to my PC to install Overwatch. And I can't. I'm just sitting in front of my PC and I feel guilt. I'm not able to play in peace anymore. My real life feels horrible and now my gaming feels horrible too. I'm stuck, everything's shit.

A lot of Overwatch pro players experienced burnout past 2 years. They moved to other competitive games, but I can't because I don't like other games. And yet I'm sick of Overwatch.

Update: I decided to leave GQ, please don't reply, I won't see it. Bye.

Edited by WhoCares
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  • 2 weeks later...

Since I stopped posting my life is getting worse every day. This week is probably the lowest point I’ve been in my life. I started playing again and it ruined everything. Now it’s 5 AM, I am tilted after the game, so I uninstalled. I can’t do this anymore. It feels so wrong. My physical condition is horrible and my mental condition is questionable. 
 

It feels like I miss something. With every new relapse I lose a bit of hope. All my enthusiasm is gone. I feel empty. Not sure how long I can last. 

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Listen whocares, in many instances the evidence is staring you in the face but you fail to miss it. I am not speaking for you but for myself and some other guys here who wrote about this issue in their diaries. There can be an underlying issue in your character which is causing problems which is making you use games as an escape.

A gamer can go a number of years without noticing it! Thats why take it easy when you play again, but do written entries to find out what is really giving you that stress or worry that is activating the habit of escaping by playing a video game? Another really good tip for you. If you do play, try to not get too mentally involved. For a change, look at the buttons you are pressing when you play, the noises outside on the street or in the room. Try to look at yourself from a third person perspective, so the gaming process fades out into the background and you are more aware of yourself and how banal and simple the algorithm of this game is.

You wrote that you need to put your life in order and that you are far behind. I remember Serious Jays post about how he managed 500 days without games. Try to search this post. He said that a gamer can be put off by how “late he is”. Good news is that little changes to habits will bring non linear changes to your character that will help you to transform. So when you see the main thing that needs changing and you consistently follow the plan, you will be sorting your life out without escaping to the game world

 

Another good entry i know is from BooksandTrees, In his 1000 days without gaming he talks about thinking patterns and ways to prevent yourself from slipping back into the gaming habit. 

Edited by Amphibian220
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2 hours ago, WhoCares said:

It feels like I miss something. With every new relapse I lose a bit of hope. All my enthusiasm is gone. I feel empty. Not sure how long I can last. 

I think relapses hurt way worse than just gaming before we decide to quit since before, there was no pressure and expectation, and now, every relapse is a broken promise/a betrayal. 

No one will be able to tell you when you are going to turn the corner and be rid of this for good. Savor the small victories along the way. 

If you don't mind me asking--had you cut down on your gaming since your last post? if so, GREAT, that's PROGRESS!!! Even if you hadn't--WHO CARES?! (see what I did there 😉 ) You TRIED. Think back to the person you were when you weren't trying to quit and compare that to the person that IS trying now. That IN ITSELF is progress. 

You're going through some tough stuff right now. The fact that you're still trying despite all of that is awesome. It's hard to dig yourself out of the pit, but once you start climbing, you'll get hooked on that--I promise. 

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@WhoCares I am glad you are back! I believe you will succeed in overcoming this terrible addiction. However, if you can't do it, I think there is no point in stopping trying to abandon video games, even if only to damage control eventual relapses.

 

 

9 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

A gamer can go a number of years without noticing it! Thats why take it easy when you play again, but do written entries to find out what is really giving you that stress or worry that is activating the habit of escaping by playing a video game? Another really good tip for you. If you do play, try to not get too mentally involved. For a change, look at the buttons you are pressing when you play, the noises outside on the street or in the room. Try to look at yourself from a third person perspective, so the gaming process fades out into the background and you are more aware of yourself and how banal and simple the algorithm of this game is.

That is very good advice, other-izing helps me to deal psicologically with many hardships in my life. Here is an excerpt of Massimo Piugliucci that i read recently:

 

6. Other-ize. “We can familiarize ourselves with the will of nature by calling to mind our common experiences. When a friend breaks a glass, we are quick to say, ‘Oh, bad luck.’ It’s only reasonable, then, that when a glass of your own breaks, you accept it in the same patient spirit. Moving on to graver things: when somebody’s wife or child dies, to a man we all routinely say, ‘Well, that’s part of life.’ But if one of our own family is involved, then right away it’s ‘Poor, poor me!’ We would do better to remember how we react when a similar loss afflicts others.”

This exercise is a fascinating one: Epictetus reminds us here of just how differently we regard an event that has affected other people when the same event affects us. Naturally, it is far easier to maintain equanimity (which, again, is not to be confused with emotional impassivity!) when little inconveniences, or even disasters, happen to others rather than to ourselves. But why, really? What makes us think that we are the universe’s special darlings, or that we ought to be?

Of course, even if we can bring ourselves to realize and internalize (which is far more difficult) that we are just like everyone else on the planet and should have the same attitude about an occurrence when it happens to others as when it happens to ourselves, we could still flip the argument on the Stoic and say that the right thing to do is to feel the same degree of pain and empathy for everyone’s misfortunes as we do for our own. The Stoic has two responses to this argument—one based on empirical evidence, and the other from philosophical principles. The empirical fact is that human beings are simply incapable, physiologically, of that much empathy. To feel truly sorry and distraught for every life lost on planet Earth as we normally feel when our own loved ones die is, simply put, inhuman. The philosophical argument is that we are, if not entirely right, at least closer to the truth when we say to other people, “I’m truly sorry, but it is a fact of life,” than when we tell ourselves, “Poor me! Poor me!” Accidents, injuries, disease, and death are unavoidable, and while it is understandable to be distraught over them (presumably in proportion to their gravity—breaking a glass is not the same thing as losing one’s spouse!), we can take comfort in knowing that they are in the normal order of things. The universe isn’t after anyone—or at least, it isn’t after any one of us in particular!

I found both interpretations of the “other-ize” exercise useful in a number of recent experiences. Sometimes I tend to dismiss the feelings of people who are close to me on the grounds that they are overreacting to whatever is happening to them. But Epictetus reminds me that I tend to feel differently when similar things—like a cutting comment from a friend or a colleague—happen to me. By the same token, when it is my turn to be on the receiving end, I now instantly recall that pretty much everyone I know has experienced whatever it is that is upsetting me at the moment, or will experience it at some point in their lives. This constant habit of adjusting my own reactions to others’ misfortunes and putting my problems in context by remembering that they are common to the broader humanity is—I think—gradually helping me see things with an equanimity that I definitely lacked before I got interested in Stoicism.

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