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How I’m quitting Overwatch


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Day 2. I'm good. Yesterday was fine, I chilled and had a great time. Today I'm planning to go to the museum with friends. After I'll resubscribe to my workout and nutrition program. I'll try to read a bit in the evening and do my English homework. 

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Day 3. I started my workout and nutrition program. I bought a lot of very healthy food that I would never buy otherwise. Spinach smoothie was fine, but tofu scrambled eggs are fucking disgusting. I never ate tofu so decided to give it a try... it was a mistake, tofu tastes like dirt lmao. Eggs were fine btw. I guess I need some time to adapt to this kind of food. Workout went great, I completed everything and my technique was decent. I takes a while to cook everything and I'm not sure if I can do that daily. I'll try. I should focus on studying much more, I almost didn't do anything past week. 

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Day 4. Everything is fine. Done my English homework, went to the supermarket but bought only almonds. Then went to the store to purchase new glasses. At home I cooked dinner, came out decent. Had a good workout. Still wasting way too much time procrastinating during the day, but at least I make small achievements. I'll try to take it slow and do a bit everyday. 

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Day 5. Bought food and cooked. Seems like my cooking skills are improving little by little. Today I decided to register to 3 day online courses about digital design (in a few words, it’s about logic design of an integrated circuit or a chip). Courses are going for 6 hours every day, gonna be tough, but I’ll try my best. I also unpacked and adjusted new printer. For some reason it’s so hard for me to deal with a printer and it’s software. It’s always unnecessary complicated and works like shit. For example printer from HP has 10 buttons, WIFI and 4 tanks for ink, but it can’t fucking print anything. Every time I’m pressing print button nothing happens. But after 5 minutes it’ll print 10 same pages. I hate this shit. So far I had my hands on 4 different printers and it’s always been pain on the ass to adjust something in them. 
 

Can’t get over a feeling that I’m wasting major part of a day on nothing and I’m struggling with recalling what I’ve done during the day. Time to use timer app. I quit reading someone else’s journals almost completely because I’ve been wasting too much time browsing the forum. Also now I decided that I’m writing this journal mostly for myself, so I’m not bothered anymore if it’s interesting to read or not. It’s time to focus on actions, not on words. 

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@whocares, I've been reading your journal. I think it's interesting that you are only addicted to one game, while I have been addicted to a wide range of games from puzzles to RPGs to platformers and shooters. Sorry for your relapse, I hope you are feeling better now.

You've said before that your new replacement activities "never feel as good as overwatch." Your story makes me glad I never tried that game. Have you considered airsoft, paintball or just target practice at a range? It might be expensive but the best way to replace fake video game shooters might be with a more real shooter.

You also said something about an open-air quest. I don't understand what that means. Was that geocaching or something?

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19 hours ago, Bird By Bird said:

 

@whocares, I've been reading your journal. I think it's interesting that you are only addicted to one game, while I have been addicted to a wide range of games from puzzles to RPGs to platformers and shooters. Sorry for your relapse, I hope you are feeling better now.

You've said before that your new replacement activities "never feel as good as overwatch." Your story makes me glad I never tried that game. Have you considered airsoft, paintball or just target practice at a range? It might be expensive but the best way to replace fake video game shooters might be with a more real shooter.

You also said something about an open-air quest. I don't understand what that means. Was that geocaching or something?

Yeah, I don't know why but I'm not interested in any games but Overwatch. Thanks, indeed I'm feeling better now, but as you can see I relapsed again. Sometimes my cravings are just way too strong. 

No, but I'm sure that my addiction has nothing to do with actual shooting. Like I played Battlefield 4 and Battlefield 1, got bored after a couple of hours of gameplay. Yet I don't know what keeps me attached to Overwatch, but I'm searching and hoping one day I'll find out, then I could replace it with something better.

Nah, not like that. It's like 40-50 people going outside together, dividing into teams. Each team has their own map with a spot they need to reach. On the spot they pick up another map with the next spot. So you just need to collect all maps on all spots. It might be a bit tricky when a spot is in the forest, in the middle of the river, uphill or something like that. 

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Oh so that's what open air quest means. I remember doing something like that on a school field trip a long time ago.

It might take a while but I do hope you find a new love. Some activity that can be your guiding north star. The path might be long but we're all walking it with you.

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1 hour ago, Bird By Bird said:

Oh so that's what open air quest means. I remember doing something like that on a school field trip a long time ago.

It might take a while but I do hope you find a new love. Some activity that can be your guiding north star. The path might be long but we're all walking it with you.

 

22 minutes ago, YasnoSolnishko said:

I have read your journal. You're a very talented young man. I was so wondered that such a young man trying to quit games at 17 and saying that his life is fucked up.

Don't give up. 
No matter how much time you will fall. Important is how much time you will stand up.

Thank you guys, I really appreciate your words. I'll keep going.

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Hey WhoCares. I am also struggling with my mental attitude towards Overwatch, thanks for the post on my journal. While I'm quite new here to the forums, I have spent the last four years, playing, moderating, quitting, and playing again. For starters, the fact that you are 17 and having the thought that you want to re-evaluate your relationship with gaming means that you are mature beyond your years. Imagine being in the same situation, but you're a decade older.

I never achieved the same high SR as you have (low dia), but what kept me coming back to OW was the interdependence and teamwork aspect of the game. You mentioned an "open-air" quest which seems to satisfy this need to an extent, but I don't think that's something that you could do every day. I didn't even know this was here, but I just found a list of activities in Cam's last email (https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/). Check through those and see if any interest you. I'll be doing my own soul searching for activities that "scratch the itch" that overwatch did, if I find something that helps I'll share it with you. Books and Trees also gave me advice recently: "it's going to take some time to be comfortable with boredom". Coming off of GM in Overwatch means you're not only going to be doing an activity where time is going to move at a snail pace, but you're also not going to be doing it at an expert level.

The best thing you can do right now is to be aware that this is difficult and be kind to yourself. Other people are struggling with the same thing you are and having a hard time at it. Best of luck, I'm excited to see how we both do here!

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3 hours ago, Band_to_the_Bone said:

Hey WhoCares. I am also struggling with my mental attitude towards Overwatch, thanks for the post on my journal. While I'm quite new here to the forums, I have spent the last four years, playing, moderating, quitting, and playing again. For starters, the fact that you are 17 and having the thought that you want to re-evaluate your relationship with gaming means that you are mature beyond your years. Imagine being in the same situation, but you're a decade older.

I never achieved the same high SR as you have (low dia), but what kept me coming back to OW was the interdependence and teamwork aspect of the game. You mentioned an "open-air" quest which seems to satisfy this need to an extent, but I don't think that's something that you could do every day. I didn't even know this was here, but I just found a list of activities in Cam's last email (https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/). Check through those and see if any interest you. I'll be doing my own soul searching for activities that "scratch the itch" that overwatch did, if I find something that helps I'll share it with you. Books and Trees also gave me advice recently: "it's going to take some time to be comfortable with boredom". Coming off of GM in Overwatch means you're not only going to be doing an activity where time is going to move at a snail pace, but you're also not going to be doing it at an expert level.

The best thing you can do right now is to be aware that this is difficult and be kind to yourself. Other people are struggling with the same thing you are and having a hard time at it. Best of luck, I'm excited to see how we both do here!

Thank you for your kind words. As I said above I don’t know why I crave for Overwatch so much, but after you said “but you’re also not going to be doing it at an expert level”, I guess now I have a hint. Perhaps I played it that much just because this is the only thing I’m relatively good at. Because I don’t actually seek action or shooting, I’m fine with something slow like hiking or meditation. I finally got it! I liked Overwatch that much just because I knew every aspect of it. And this is why other games seemed boring to me, because I can’t be bothered to learn a new game from scratch. And I didn’t want to play something I’m not good at. So to beat my Overwatch addiction I just need to master something so well, that it’ll just replace Overwatch for me. And I have an idea what could it be. But I’ll talk about it in my next post about my day.

Wish you luck too, we can do this!

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Day 1. Ah shit, here we go again. I played last night so woke up at 11 AM. It took 3 hours to install a software I needed for my digital electronics design webinar. All programs dowloaded and installed on my Linux Ubuntu via GitHub script, but I had a hard time making Intel Quartus IDE work with proper scaling on my 4k monitor. Also USB programmer didn’t work because it had no permission, so I needed to create some udev rules files that allowed it to work. After that I was able to upload code to my FPGA board. BTW I know I’m getting too much technical here, but I like to talk about tech so I’ll keep it, it’s not a real conversation so you can just skip tech parts if you want to. Webinar went well, I enjoyed it. But because I was messing with my computer all day I didn’t cook healthy food and just ate some toasts. But I’ll workout before I go to sleep so it’s not that critical. Thanks to @Band_to_the_Bone now I know what I need to do. I need to master something on a proper level, like I did with Overwatch. So since today I’m gonna study electronics/programming/digital design 4 times harder than before. I know it’ll be tough, but I need to do this. So my ideal day be like: 4 hours on electronics related stuff, 1,5-2 hours school, 2 hours on cooking and 30-45 minutes workout. I will try to stick to it, I’ll use activity timer app daily. Let’s see how it goes. 

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7 minutes ago, WhoCares said:

 I need to master something on a proper level, like I did with Overwatch.

You put that in a much better way than I could!

28 minutes ago, WhoCares said:

I liked Overwatch that much just because I knew every aspect of it. And this is why other games seemed boring to me, because I can’t be bothered to learn a new game from scratch. And I didn’t want to play something I’m not good at.

I had a similar feeling when I would play a new game with my friends. With OW, I knew everything from abilities to ultimate / cooldown times. I was recommended to DOTA, but I had no knowledge of it and didn't enjoy being a beginner. On a more personal note: I have excellent training on the trombone and even though I'm not a beginner in that, I chose to play games because it was more stimulating and was instantly gratifying.

16 minutes ago, WhoCares said:

So since today I’m gonna study electronics/programming/digital design 4 times harder than before. I know it’ll be tough, but I need to do this. So my ideal day be like: 4 hours on electronics related stuff, 1,5-2 hours school, 2 hours on cooking and 30-45 minutes workout. I will try to stick to it, I’ll use activity timer app daily. Let’s see how it goes. 

This seems like a great idea. I think a part of your plan should be what do you do if you feel the urge to play. (For me, it's visiting this website). Also, what do you want to do in "down-time". You mentioned a lot of great engaging and challenging activities, but you'll also have time in the day where everything is done and you get to enjoy yourself. It doesn't need to be scheduled (or answered on this forum) but what do you think you would do to relax besides gaming?

Keep it up, I'm so excited to see how we do!

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20 minutes ago, Band_to_the_Bone said:

This seems like a great idea. I think a part of your plan should be what do you do if you feel the urge to play. (For me, it's visiting this website).

Great idea to plan it before urges came. Well, I guess visiting this forum is the best thing I can imagine in such situation. It helped me a couple of times already.

 

22 minutes ago, Band_to_the_Bone said:

Also, what do you want to do in "down-time". You mentioned a lot of great engaging and challenging activities, but you'll also have time in the day where everything is done and you get to enjoy yourself. It doesn't need to be scheduled (or answered on this forum) but what do you think you would do to relax besides gaming?

I think just going for a walk, talking with friends or just watching Netflix are a good way to relax. I don't like Netflix very much (I mean I like watching it sometimes, but not more than 1 episode a week or two), so it won't ruin anything. Also I like listening to music while doing nothing, full focus on music. Also YouTube sometimes can provide quality educational content that worth watching. For example I like Veritasium or Smarter Every Day. Also I have 2 technical channels which I'm listening while falling asleep lol: Actually Hardcore Overclocking and Louis Rossmann. I know it's not very healthy to fall asleep with a tablet, but it's not my biggest problem atm, so I can deal with it.  

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I’m thinking about relapsing again. I think the most important part of staying 1 month clean on my first attempt is that I wasn’t at home so wasn’t able to play at all. I removed my gaming monitor from the table, but it still stands on the floor in my room. Also I didn’t sell my GPU. So I asked my brother to take my monitor, so it won’t be at my place anymore. I feel lonely. Okay, last fucking time I’ll make excuse to myself and play tonight. I know it’s bad. I know it’s disappointing. I promise it won’t happen again. 

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