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How I’m quitting Overwatch


WhoCares
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6 hours ago, The_Creative_Quitter said:

 

Thank you for posting that, I could never have said it so beautifully...  In fact I'm saving that!  May you have a good and fulfilling week!

@The_Creative_Quitter, then I suggest you read his book called "The Prophet", it's one of my all time favorites.

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On 1/8/2022 at 3:02 PM, WhoCares said:

, I read that if you have a somewhat decent nutrition regime, you should receive all the vitamins you need. Not sure about it though, I am not an expert in this field by any mean

Depends on a lot of things, actually- it can be super complicated lol. With quarantine, I've been taking vitamin D daily during Winter, as daylight time is very short and the amount of time I spend outside is close to none. 

For most of my family members, who have much darker skin than me, intaking vitamin regularly is more or less necessary since we live in a pretty cold climate. Would we be living in a warmer climate, that would not be necessary! So yes, very complicated- if you feel like you want to improve your health, looking into vitamins can be helpful.

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On 1/8/2022 at 3:15 PM, WhoCares said:

t would take so much time and effort to play Overwatch again, that it's just not worth it for me even if I wanted. I've made it so complicated and pointless, especially knowing that I will uninstall it after a few days of playing anyway.

Ahhh, it is a bit bittersweet to say, but it's pretty much the same for me. After each of my countless relapses in 2020, I would try to make reinstalling a game a bit more complicated, until I got to where I am now lol- all save data, all accounts and everything else gaming-related is wiped from my PC, and installing a game would be such a tremendous effort that even my urge to do so is high I simply feel too lazy to lol

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On 1/10/2022 at 4:24 AM, Pochatok said:

Depends on a lot of things, actually- it can be super complicated lol. With quarantine, I've been taking vitamin D daily during Winter, as daylight time is very short and the amount of time I spend outside is close to none. 

For most of my family members, who have much darker skin than me, intaking vitamin regularly is more or less necessary since we live in a pretty cold climate. Would we be living in a warmer climate, that would not be necessary! So yes, very complicated- if you feel like you want to improve your health, looking into vitamins can be helpful.

When it comes to health there’s just too much going on to keep track of. Best I can do is eat decently and exercise. Everything else seems like too much. Maybe vitamins are actually very beneficial, but I’m not concerned enough to try. Maybe I’m just not old enough…

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Today’s been difficult. I started to crave Overwatch. All it took is just a quick look on my big gaming mousepad. I felt sad that I’m not using the whole area because I don’t play, so I casually started moving my mouse like I used to when gaming. And holy shit that was such a bad idea. Cravings hit first, after that I felt depressed because I can’t play anymore. 
I think I should change my mouse and mousepad for sure, there are just too many gaming memories tied to them. 
Currently I feel depressed. I’ve lost all enjoyment for life. Chores and studying feel like punishment, and there’s no reward after. I can’t remember last time I felt happy. 

I am going to bed now, in order to wake up tomorrow and do shit I hate doing.

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Good idea, I’d even change the positioning of the table in the room to cut off gaming memory even further.

you know what cuts off cravings for me? Writing down negative results that can happen years down the line from poor eating, not exercising, etc. when i think about the effect of habits, I don’t want to miss that next workout.

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16 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

Good idea, I’d even change the positioning of the table in the room to cut off gaming memory even further.

you know what cuts off cravings for me? Writing down negative results that can happen years down the line from poor eating, not exercising, etc. when i think about the effect of habits, I don’t want to miss that next workout.

I've already thought about it. Can't really do it right now because I'm not the only one using that room, but I'll be able to change it in a few months. I also been thinking about buying a standing desk, so I could work while standing and also move it down and sit when needed. Right now I think that I will just avoid being at home for too long and go study in a library or cafe.

When it comes to results of bad habits, I kinda don't care in the moment of craving, because results are delayed and in distant future, but rewards are here and now.

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Today is my birthday, I'm 19 now.

One year ago I've set some goals to myself. And I achieved nothing, fucking zero. I failed at everything I could.

I can't see myself in a positive light. Years go by, and I stay the same. Pathetic.

I don't even know what to add. My biggest disappointment each year is ME.

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1 hour ago, WhoCares said:

Today is my birthday, I'm 19 now.

One year ago I've set some goals to myself. And I achieved nothing, fucking zero. I failed at everything I could.

I can't see myself in a positive light. Years go by, and I stay the same. Pathetic.

I don't even know what to add. My biggest disappointment each year is ME.

Happy Birthday,

 

I say this all so very gently.  You are an amazing person. You are loved, you are not alone and you have a purpose in this life. 
 

19 is a hard age, but it gets better and easier. Take care and I hope you are able to do something special. 

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Happy not too happy birthday

I hear your pain man.

Just keep going, don't give up, you're worth it. I believe in you. Celebrate all the steps you took, even the baby steps.


I dont really believe in self-improvement. I prefer to focus on integrity, on being authentic, on being fully here and now and letting my true nature take care of itself. The real challenge is being you who are. That's what I focus on — becoming who I am, instead of just trying to chase my self-esteem at the end of some checklist of goals to achieve.

"The reason why you want to be better is the reason why you aren't" -Alan Watts

But hey man, I'm right here with you, we're all in this together, I'm still learning, I don't know everything, I just share with you what makes sense to me and what helps me go through this life. 

Much love ♥

 

 

Edited by Nico Indigo
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Today I've relapsed. I played Overwatch for 8 hours straight. I feel much better now, what a relief. I'm not being hard on myself this time though. I have to admit what I've done and move on. I've proven to myself that I don't need Overwatch anymore. I no longer feel like I belong there, I'm no longer engaged. I felt like on outsider. Game became boring. I can't do this anymore.

Now I feel motivated to do what I really wanted, and it has nothing to do with gaming.

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4 hours ago, WhoCares said:

 I don't need Overwatch anymore. I no longer feel like I belong there, I'm no longer engaged. I felt like on outsider. Game became boring. I can't do this anymore.

Now I feel motivated to do what I really wanted, and it has nothing to do with gaming.

Yeah I relapsed a couple of times too in the last 3 years to realize I was so done with it. I guess sometimes we need a reminder.

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Day 1.

Today I’ve read: “The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. It is the spiral of repeated mistakes that follows. Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit.”

I wanted to play today several times, but I stayed strong. I can’t allow this mistake to turn into disaster.

This time I’m going to count days without Overwatch and post daily. I feel like it works best for me when I have a proof that I’m making progress, otherwise it feels like I’m stagnating even if it’s not so. Counting is satisfying.

Also this time is going to be really different: I assume that I’ll play Overwatch again in the future, I’m not quitting forever. I don’t mean that I’ll play tomorrow, but maybe someday. I’m sure that playing in moderation is not an option for me as my previous experience has proved. I’m just trying to perform a mental trick; when I was underaged I wanted to drink alcohol but couldn’t, now I can but I kinda don’t care anymore and rarely drink. Maybe it’s gonna be the same way, won’t hurt giving it a try. 

Edited by WhoCares
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1 hour ago, WhoCares said:

Today I’ve read: “The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. It is the spiral of repeated mistakes that follows. Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit.”

Good quote!  
You're outgrowing Overwatch, I'm glad to see it.  I want to outgrow the MMO's too, more fully.  Keep going <3

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Day 2.

So much has happened today. Probably the best day in a few months for sure. My workout today was great. I also managed to study a bit in the morning and in the evening. Cooked fucking delicious lunch. Then I went to buy very unique and expensive thing, it's gonna be my hobby project in close future. It'll take some time to make it look like I want, but trust me, shit's fucking amazing. I'll post a photo when it's ready.

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2 hours ago, WhoCares said:

Day 2.

So much has happened today. Probably the best day in a few months for sure. My workout today was great. I also managed to study a bit in the morning and in the evening. Cooked fucking delicious lunch. Then I went to buy very unique and expensive thing, it's gonna be my hobby project in close future. It'll take some time to make it look like I want, but trust me, shit's fucking amazing. I'll post a photo when it's ready.

Good shit. Keep it up.

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Day 3. 
 

Another awesome day. I’ve managed to get a lot done. Studying is getting easier and more engaging. I started cooking a little bit again and it feels satisfying. 
 

I have to build healthy habits and routines in order to get better. I’m working on it one day at a time. My sleeping schedule is still a fucking mess, I have to do something, but I’m too lazy at the moment. 

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3 minutes ago, WhoCares said:

Day 3. 
 

Another awesome day. I’ve managed to get a lot done. Studying is getting easier and more engaging. I started cooking a little bit again and it feels satisfying. 
 

I have to build healthy habits and routines in order to get better. I’m working on it one day at a time. My sleeping schedule is still a fucking mess, I have to do something, but I’m too lazy at the moment. 

Maaan, your posts always make my day! You have so much resilience and spirit, it's so amazing to see you push forward despite all the challenges. You inspire me a lot when it comes to dealing with my own difficulties and setbacks. And I also extremely appreciate how open you are about the difficulties you are experiencing and the feelings/thoughts that come with those!

❤️

Po

Edited by Pochatok
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Way to go mate! I often struggle to write down what I want to say but despite that, I still want to share some things with you. 

You sound like you are very hard on yourself at times and I can't resist but telling you to be a little bit more kind to yourself. You sound like a wonderful human being and you are an inspiration to many here on the forum. Despite the struggles that might make you feel like you've failed, you've shown tremendous amounts of strength and courage. I bet you that if you started to look at the past year once more and look at the positive things that you've achieved, you'd notice that you've achieved way more than you realize. 

I also wanted to share something with you that helped me understand why I struggled to live a "normal" life for the past 25 years and why I was/felt unable to change it. I always thought that there was something wrong with me in comparison to others who didn't seem to struggle with an intense addiction and feeling unable to like normal things or be motivated about every day life that seemed completely boring to me. I felt stuck and I had no clue how to get out of it. As I'm starting to discover now, there are simple explanations for every aspect of it and I feel that this knowledge can help anyone find a way out.

To start with, I really recommend listening to this podcast: https://drchatterjee.com/finding-balance-in-a-dopamine-overloaded-world-with-dr-anna-lembke/

Last night I started with this more in depth lecture about dopamine.


and wow, just wow, it's fascinating. It explains so much.

Keep rocking mate and have a wonderful day! 

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22 hours ago, Pochatok said:

Maaan, your posts always make my day! You have so much resilience and spirit, it's so amazing to see you push forward despite all the challenges. You inspire me a lot when it comes to dealing with my own difficulties and setbacks. And I also extremely appreciate how open you are about the difficulties you are experiencing and the feelings/thoughts that come with those!

❤️

Po

I’m so happy that my journey and thoughts can help other people in some way! 

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12 hours ago, Nico said:

Way to go mate! I often struggle to write down what I want to say but despite that, I still want to share some things with you. 

You sound like you are very hard on yourself at times and I can't resist but telling you to be a little bit more kind to yourself. You sound like a wonderful human being and you are an inspiration to many here on the forum. Despite the struggles that might make you feel like you've failed, you've shown tremendous amounts of strength and courage. I bet you that if you started to look at the past year once more and look at the positive things that you've achieved, you'd notice that you've achieved way more than you realize. 

I also wanted to share something with you that helped me understand why I struggled to live a "normal" life for the past 25 years and why I was/felt unable to change it. I always thought that there was something wrong with me in comparison to others who didn't seem to struggle with an intense addiction and feeling unable to like normal things or be motivated about every day life that seemed completely boring to me. I felt stuck and I had no clue how to get out of it. As I'm starting to discover now, there are simple explanations for every aspect of it and I feel that this knowledge can help anyone find a way out.

To start with, I really recommend listening to this podcast: https://drchatterjee.com/finding-balance-in-a-dopamine-overloaded-world-with-dr-anna-lembke/

Last night I started with this more in depth lecture about dopamine.


and wow, just wow, it's fascinating. It explains so much.

Keep rocking mate and have a wonderful day! 

Yeah, I’m already trying to be a bit easier on myself. Sometimes when I’m angry and frustrated things that I write is a bit too much. I’ve made a lot if progress in the long run, but sometimes I forget about it.

I’m definitely gonna check that podcast and lecture tomorrow, dopamine related topic seems very interesting to me. 
 

Best of luck, we got this!

Edited by WhoCares
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Day 4. 
 

Woke up pretty late, I have to fix my schedule. I think when I wake past 10 AM, I’m way more tired during the day and constantly wanting to sleep even though I’ve slept for 10 hours. Maybe it’s a symptom of oversleeping as well. After breakfast I headed to the gym and had a good and very hard 2 hour workout. Currently my maximum is benching 67,5 kilograms. I’m sure some of you guys are doing much much more, but I’m very proud of myself considering that I started from nothing less than a year ago. 

After lunch I started studying. It was hard, because I was very tired after gym. This week I’m sticking with 3 study sessions 50 minutes each. I haven’t studied in a while, so I have to start small. I feel like if I would do over 3 sessions, I’ll be so tired that it would be completely unproductive and pointless. I’d rather focus on quality and do less, but deeper.

Out of curiosity I’ve been reading meth addicts resource. I see a lot of similarities with gaming addiction, but obviously meth is way worse. After that all my problems with Overwatch seem like a joke. 

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Day 5.

I’m doing good. Each day this week I’m setting some daily tasks. Something like studying and some chores. It’s really satisfying to complete a task and cross it in my notebook. I was able to complete everything today. I don’t know why, but I’m doing much better after last relapse. Honestly I’ve never felt so productive in years.

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