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How I’m quitting Overwatch


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On 4/2/2021 at 8:57 PM, WhoCares said:

Well I think that sports are just way too boring. I used to play football a lot (3-5 hours a day, I played only because I had nothing to do in school), but I didn't like people I was playing with. So while in a game you have different teammates every match, in real life you're stuck with same people, and if they are retards you can't change it. But finding decent people isn't a problem, I just never liked sports. Rules are too basic and the pace is extremely slow compared to Overwatch.

 

You’ve got to be kidding me man. Your tall build gives you a natural advantage in a sport like basketball. Have you played it? Do you know how fast paced it is and how much hand-eye coordination is needed? What about controlling the pace of the game and making sure you’ve got enough strength left towards the end? A couple of years back I found a college group that played basketball in the evenings. I couldn’t really keep up, but these guys would get so absorbed, they’d forget what time it was. Extremely competitive and engaging. Constant layup attacks, Three point shots, tactical fouling and very smart passing tricks. Counter attacks were a real thrill to watch. OW will never be as fast paced as that game, because OW imposes arbitrary limits on the actions you can perform within a time frame. A real life sport enables you to.. push your personal limits of strength, speed, agility, technique etc.

I want to build up an excellent cardio right now to be a real force in my sparring sessions. Wishing you to reignite that fire.

Edited by Amphibian220
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23 minutes ago, WhoCares said:

Now I know, I don’t want to play Overwatch.. I need. Goodbye.

Wait, what? You need to play Overwatch, and that need overrides all your other goals and hopes?

Dude, come on back. There is still a chance for you to walk away from Overwatch and into the wider world.

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6 hours ago, WhoCares said:

Now I know, I don’t want to play Overwatch.. I need. Goodbye.

I understand. Reading your journal, it sounds as if you are an intelligent, talented, and successful person. There must be something relating to one of these traits or another that Overwatch satisfies? What are these needs?

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1 hour ago, WhoCares said:

@Amphibian220 @Zeno @Theresa @WorkInProgress @TheNewMe2.0 I’m sorry, but I gave up. Can’t do this anymore. Every time I’m just hurting myself more and more. I have no reasons to live, the only thing that gives me pleasure is Overwatch. My existence is a mistake. 

Your existence is not a mistake! Every time you quit, no matter for how long or how little, you are doing so many amazing things! Over the last couple of weeks, I've been looking forward to every single journal entry of yours. You made a difference in my life, and likely in the life of many others here and your own life too.

I know that it hurts a lot, but you have to endure! Don't give up, and it will get better in the long run, it always does. Think of how many more years of life there are ahead of you, and how exciting they could be. Even if you do not get into a university next year, there are many things you can do. And even if you will struggle with gaming for many more years (I did), it will be a better life than not trying at all. 

Life is life man, you can be upset at it as much as you want, but quitting on it- that's poopyyyy. Hang in there!

 

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2 hours ago, WhoCares said:

@Amphibian220 @Zeno @Theresa @WorkInProgress @TheNewMe2.0 I’m sorry, but I gave up. Can’t do this anymore. Every time I’m just hurting myself more and more. I have no reasons to live, the only thing that gives me pleasure is Overwatch. My existence is a mistake. 

What @Pochatok said!

Give yourself a chance to find out what may be out there in the world for you!

Life may be difficult, sometimes, and full of risks. The things you need to do are not always immediately satisfying. But day by day, year by year, you can learn how to make your own life and the lives of others better, even in small ways.

You can find a purpose for yourself in that, and with it a kind of satisfaction that is far deeper and more powerful than the momentary pleasures you might get playing a game.

Edited by Zeno
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1 hour ago, WhoCares said:

@Amphibian220 @Zeno @Theresa @WorkInProgress @TheNewMe2.0 I’m sorry, but I gave up. Can’t do this anymore. Every time I’m just hurting myself more and more. I have no reasons to live, the only thing that gives me pleasure is Overwatch. My existence is a mistake. 

You can do this. You always have a choice regardless of how you feel or the circumstances you encounter. It’s definitely hurting you more to play since you’re avoiding confronting something in your life. Saying your existence is a mistake is not only false but also a cop-out. As the others have said, give the world a chance to benefit from your talents and gifts. Online games are designed to make you addicted and to make everything in life feel boring. It’s a slow recovery just like making any new habit is and it’s difficult. Ultimately, the decision is yours as it’s your life. All of us here are struggling like you and with you and we also rooting for you.

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2 hours ago, WhoCares said:

My existence is a mistake. 

One more thought: We're all in the world more or less by accident, and we are never in complete control of what happens to us and around us while we're here. But you are not entirely helpless, you are not alone, and you can give your life meaning by what you choose and what you work toward.

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I have a story about enduring like pochatok said. I met this Buddhist monk and he sat in this awkward position on the floor for like a long time. And I asked him how do you sit like that. And he said practice and stretch. But that sometimes in life you must endure.

Anyways. Are you meditating? Try to set an alarm for the same time everyday and meditate 5 minutes a day and increase by 5 minutes a week till you hit your goal total time per day. If you want to get really ambitious you can try to do 20 minutes a day to start but that's up to you. Doing yoga might help with self control too. Make a commitment and a rule to follow that if you get tempted to game you'll go do something else instead till you stop having such bad cravings like an extra 5 minutes of meditation, taking a walk, watching tv, other hobbies, or just taking 5 conscious breaths.

Good luck brother.

Edited by TheNewMe2.0
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You know what? I have an idea how to stop procrastination. Fuck all my educational plans, I don't fucking care about it anymore. Past 2 years the only question people were asking me is my plans on university. I was thinking about final exams for years. Fuck all of that, I won't go to university or prepare for those shitty exams. I don't give a single flying fuck anymore. I'll finish school and do whatever the fuck I want. I'm so sick of doing things I hate, I procrastinate so much because I always have to do some retarded shit that I couldn't care less about. I'm gonna do Linux related stuff and programming projects. The only thought of school exams and university makes me fucking sick.

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why are you talking this way. School is there for a reason: it gives you the building blocks to develop your faculties. You need to acquire basic knowledge across a range of subjects, not just one subject. This then gives you a more open mind when solving problems in your job, and it also enables you to transfer into other fields of work during your life.

School is a necessary part of development and let me say boredom is part of any job (to a greater or lesser extent), no matter how exciting it seems at first. The school is not an exception to this.

Edited by Amphibian220
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Hey, 

I find school not interesting as well. I am enjoying myself in college but I often find myself despising the amount of work my professors pile on me and I often find myself stressed. Most of the time I'd rather be doing something else. 
 

As boring as school may be, it's important. Not only does it have building blocks like amphibian said and improves your problem solving skills, but I see it as a place to explore and master whatever you're interested in that point in time. There will be a lot of moments in your life where you think "this is pointless" especially in your dream job, but you need to power through those boring moments. Maybe you'll even look back and think "wow that wasn't pointless. 
 

I don't think school is causing you to procrastinate. Again, school can get boring and be a lot. By the end of the day though procrastination comes from the person, inside them, valuing one thing over the other. It's not from someone else giving you something because probably doesn't come from someone else. I hope you're able to get over your procrastination issue, but throwing all your work out the window, won't solve it. You have to deal with the issue face to face. 
 

Best 

Jason

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Okay, I'm going to out myself a little here: I teach at a university. If you want a draining, time-consuming, often tedious and frustrating task, try grading a stack of papers from students.

Hyped up on gaming, as I had been until recently, the task - maybe the most important thing I could be doing as part of my job - became nearly intolerable to me. I would so much rather be playing . . .

I would do it anyway, because I'm a dutiful sort of person, but it would hurt . . . and that couldn't have been doing my students any good!

Now that I've been off gaming for a few weeks, I can have the calm and the patience to do the work and, even though it is still draining and sometimes frustrating, I can still take my time to do it well, and my students do better the next time around. It builds on itself.

Much the same happened with writing, also another part of my work. It was almost physically painful to try to write a coherent paragraph when, in the past, I've literally written books.

Now, free of games and able to sit still for a while, I have set aside two hours every the morning - even on weekends - during which I am allowed to do nothing but write, except for a short break for tea in the middle. I'm suddenly on my way to being productive again.

Managing your time, defining your tasks, keeping a list of particular things you need to get done so you get the satisfaction of checking them off one by one as you complete them, all of these things can help . . . once your brain comes out of its game-induced frenzy.

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Listen. I was traumatized by school because my mom screamed at me to do it so often as a child. Still she has pushed me my whole life to earn 100k or more per year and to get degrees so that I can qualify for a better job that will pay that much. I pushed myself to go back to school and completed my masters in psychology and it was not easy. I barely got by at times but I did it. And I'm glad I did because now I have a chance at making six figures.

If you don't want to do school then you better have a realistic and darn good plan to make six figures without that degree. If you can do that then maybe you'll be one of the lucky few who are wealthy without a college degree. But like everyone else is saying, I strongly encourage you to pursue a degree in a field that you like or are the most okay with so that you can have a better quality of life via earning more money post degree.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Thanks everyone for your support, I was reading everything and it made me feel better. Currently I’m 48 days off any games and today I finished my last exam. I’ve never studied so hard in my life. I was going to the gym 3 days a week for 3 months and working out at home on off days. My exam scores are gonna be mediocre at best, but I’ve learnt a lot in the process. My time management got way better, social skills, physical health, sleep schedule. I was so busy all the time, that I had no cravings. I even had all games installed (Overwatch too). I pushed my limits and got a better version of myself. But I don’t think that I’ll be able to go to university with my scores, so I’m obligated to go to the army. I have free time until October, then I’ll be gone for a year. It’s guaranteed 1 year detox lol. 
 

Tomorrow I’ll relapse. I’ve brought my 144 Hz gaming monitor back, borrowed good GPU from a friend and tomorrow I’ll game the shit out of it. It’s gonna be day and night binge gaming. I only need to setup all my monitors and modify my mechanical keyboard. 
 

The thing that I wanted to say: it’s too late for me, all you have to do is forget about me. No matter how hard I try, I cannot stop being a failure I meant to be.

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20 hours ago, WhoCares said:

The thing that I wanted to say: it’s too late for me, all you have to do is forget about me.

Bahhh stop it! It is most certainly not too late for you, even if you feel that way. I'll never stop rooting for you, because I know that you do have the potential to make the leap and overcome your struggles. You're fairly unforgettable too heh; glad to know that you're alive and have been able to pull things together for the exams, and hope to see you in person next summer (hope to go to Russia then). 

Hope that your exam scores will be better than you think 🙂 And please, keep trying! Don't give up on yourself!

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Wanted to follow-up my previous message, which honestly looks too positive and happy to me not...

The one thing that I really admire about you is that despite all the setbacks and challenges you've faced, you still are active here- even if you post only once in a while, you are still here. I know that you think your life isn't going well (not saying I disagree lol, just don't want to impose my own perspective over things you say), but I also see the sheer amount of determination you have to accomplish or go past certain things when you need to. When I read that you've been able to really pull it together for the exams, I was so surprised- not because I didn't think you would completely fail or something, but because of how much you've tried despite everything. When I was having struggles of a somewhat similar magnitude, I absolutely lacked that determination; I'm very happy that you possess such a quality, and hope that it will continue to help you get through the more difficult times. 

What has really helped me to stay determined and focused (and slightly happier and sadder lol) during the recent times is a comic titled "Nausicaa From The Valley of The Wind". The style might not really be your thing, but the stories it tells are very philosophically-inspiring. The whole story itself is about why should (or not) humans exist, and how (and why) to cope with all the struggles life throws at us. I don't know if you'll like it, but maybe try it? It's available for free on VKontakte if you search on google.

That's all. I hope that no matter your life takes you next, you will be able to learn new things. Please keep posting here, friend.

Po

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@Pochatok Thank you for your kind words. I'll check that comic when I'll have free from gaming time. Well, really then only reason I was able to be free from gaming for 50 days straight (yeah, I had no time to play next 2 days from my last post, 'cause I was way too busy by doing other things outdoors) is because I made myself a goal not to play until I pass all exams. When I'm binge gaming for months non stop, the pleasure from gaming vanishes, but when I do something productive and then play, it feels awesome. So in order to experience biggest gaming orgasm in my life, I decided to study as hard as I can for 2 months and then play without stopping. My point is, the only reason I was able to make some progress in the studying field is my passion for gaming. If you're interested, you can check my temporary account which I've created for the time I was studying. It's @No one

Today I finally was able to play. And.. meh, idk. Kinda cool but not even close to what I expected. I think I played for about 3 or 4 hours and honestly I don't wanna play anymore lol. I'll play tomorrow to have a better understanding of what's happening. But it seems like I can't binge play anymore. 

Oh, and btw, most likely I'll be in the army next summer so I don't think we can meet then.

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Today I played for 2 or 3 hours. I enjoyed it, but I had no problem stopping. In the past, I used to say “one more game” and it could continue up to 5 hours. But today I actually quit after that “one game”. Last Fall, I was severely depressed because I couldn’t quit gaming and had very important exams coming. But now, when I gave up on quitting and failed my exams, I actually feel good. I had no interest in studying or going out last year, but now I enjoy learning and I go out every day. I want to study subjects  I failed this year, because exams turned out to be interesting and I wish to prepare much better for them. I accepted myself as a failure, so I started enjoying life instead of forcing myself doing something I don’t want to do. I have sooo many plans of what I’m gonna study and what projects I want to do. Today, before playing, I’ve built my first custom mechanical keyboard. I had a crappy cheap board from AliExpress with shitty switches, so I tear it down, cleaned and installed filmed Cherry MX Blacks. Not the most fancy switch, but awesome for the first build. So now my keyboard feels and sounds amazing, and I haven’t lubed the switches yet. So I was busy with that all day and had time to play only in the evening. I would even consider this as healthy gaming. So now I think I’ll use this forum to journal my observations of my gaming. I’m really interested in what will happen with this. I’m not planning to apply any restrictions on playing, I want to see how it goes. Most likely I’ll gradually lose control and will get back to binge gaming, but I feel like my relationship with gaming is not as it used to be. Another reason why I wanna do this is because I disagree with the idea of quitting cold turkey. The most popular opinion on this forum is that you have to stop gaming once and for all and do something else instead. I think it’s bullshit. When people have problems with excessive gaming, that just means that something else is wrong. So in order to stop gaming, you have to deal with your real problems first. When you just stop gaming, nothing fills the gap where gaming used to be, you feel empty, depressed, unmotivated. And when you’re being told to “do something else”. I think the right way is to solve your issues, find something you enjoy doing and then gaming will disappear by itself. When I was studying for exams, I was constantly so busy, that I had no time to even thing about playing. But when I have nothing to do, time without gaming feels like a torture. I’ve read a lot of journals here and I don’t recall anyone who wasn’t struggling with something after quitting. Because I feel like people think that quitting cold turkey will instantly make all problems disappear. I want to see if it’s possible for me to get my shit together without quitting or making any restrictions on gaming. Instead of focusing on quitting gaming, I’ll focus on achieving my goals. 

 

Tomorrow I’ll be busy all day so most likely I won’t play. 

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Let me see if I understood it correctly: you are going to put yourself back in trial and test to see if video games start controlling you again? What is the point of that? There is a very minor upside (getting a thrill from a game) and a potentially major downside of this sort of experiment.

You talked about underlying problems being the root cause. The way I perceive underlying problems is that gamers try to escape issues by playing games, but then the games make them less capable of solving them than they were in the first place. So, basically games become another root cause, next to which the initial problem may not have been as serious. A positive feedback loop of sorts.

One of the most important habits to train is to learn to tackle issues head on because once that is in place, you are prepared to attack unfamiliar problems. At that point you Don’t see a point being in denial, but just do everything based on a sound plan.

Edited by Amphibian220
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On 6/14/2021 at 3:08 PM, WhoCares said:

experience biggest gaming orgasm in my life

I'm sorry but I was laughing so hard at this

On 6/14/2021 at 3:08 PM, WhoCares said:

Today I finally was able to play. And.. meh, idk. Kinda cool but not even close to what I expected. I think I played for about 3 or 4 hours and honestly I don't wanna play anymore lol. I'll play tomorrow to have a better understanding of what's happening. But it seems like I can't binge play anymore. 

I've experienced a similar issue after leaving for college and coming back to my PC in a few months. However, I look at it as a decrease in "tolerance": at the moment, you have gotten so used to a more productive routine that gaming a lot feels unrewarding/uninteresting. Yet, if you continue to play every day like you used to, you could gradually get back into binge gaming (plez don't 🙂). For me, I ended up never going to playing more than 3hrs/day, but I would still have trouble resisting my urges and not gaming when I wanted to. Be careful! 

On 6/14/2021 at 3:08 PM, WhoCares said:

Oh, and btw, most likely I'll be in the army next summer so I don't think we can meet then.

we shall see! Who knows what will be happening in a whole year...

21 hours ago, WhoCares said:

I accepted myself as a failure

Please please please continue to challenge this harmful idea! I know that at the moment you are feeling well (and I was too, when I initially came to a "conclusion" like this), but sooner than later this idea will begin taxing your mental health hard

21 hours ago, WhoCares said:

Because I feel like people think that quitting cold turkey will instantly make all problems disappear.

Cold turkey does not make all problems disappear, but rather the opposite- it makes the problems visible, it highlights their existence. Gaming, essentially, is a way for some people (like me) to numb my stress; by eliminating the numbness, I was able to notice and feel through all the things that were making me unhappy. Was I able to deal with them right away? No- I kept gaming, but tried to do it in a healthier, more positive and beneficial way (kind of what you are planning to do). And eventually, I had dealt with my underlying issues enough (and developed the right amount of self-control) to quit gaming completely (or so it seems lol). 

Cold-turkey is kind of like an ice shower in the morning- it doesn't make your day any better really, but helps you wake up and become aware of the things you need to do. 

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@Amphibian220 I've got your point, video games indeed can numb feelings and work as an escape, but I think that at this point I'm already well aware of my issues and games can't do anything with this. My experiment went pretty well, I completely lost any interest in gaming and every time when I'm trying to play I get bored. I'm still not planning to put any restrictions on gaming, but I think I'm slowly quitting it. Maybe when I tried to force myself not to play, it actually tempted me to play more. And when I'm free of any responsibilities, it makes me much more motivated to do productive stuff. 

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