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How I’m quitting Overwatch


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10 hours ago, WhoCares said:

I can't stop playing.

Sorry to hear about the troubles coming back up. Things sounded much better for you in your earlier posts--I was really grateful to see that.

Though, I'm not so sure that you can't stop. I mean, you said this just two weeks ago:

On 2/2/2021 at 11:08 AM, WhoCares said:

I wanted to watch Overwatch streams on Twitch, but decided to read a book instead. Feels good. Guess I’m getting better.

You've taken a step back. That sucks, honestly. But, you've also taken steps forward. Compared to when you were gaming, now that you are attempting to quit permanently, do you game less overall? If so, you just practice the habit of not gaming, and eventually, it sticks. I know I've mentioned this before, but my mom was an alcoholic for 25 years. It was actually getting worse over time too. My mom will be seventeen years sober this June. I can tell you, from the person who took the brunt of her shit when she was drunk when I was a kid, it didn't look like she was ever going to change. There was one time where she somehow managed a year sober and then threw it all away in an epic extravaganza, driving and basically abandoning us while she was completely hammered, and I was thinking "This is probably the last I'll ever see of her alive, because she is going to drive into a tree and that'll be it." 

She got through it all with her support group at home, at Alcoholics Anonymous, and her family and siblings. Eventually, she was able to deal with her demons and find the purpose that got her through it. That's the hardest part, but the only chance of it happening comes with a lot of work and time. Shit, I'm still working through my own. I'm not 100% there yet, and I have my setbacks too, but over time I'm WAY better off. 

I still believe in you, 100%. I've seen how much people can change. I know you can too. Find the root of what's causing this, and fight it. 

This is really weird for me to ask, but can you do me one small favor though? Those exams you talked about, they seem big.  Can you please just set a timer for one minute, and study any one of the subjects you'd like? If you want to keep studying after a minute, that's up to you, but I figure you do spend at least eight hours of your day sleeping and not playing games, and 1 minute would not be too large of a penalty. Usually the hardest part is starting because we psych ourselves out with thoughts of failure. If you do this, at least you can say that you didn't "never" study for the exams 🙂 

And congrats on reading that book!

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On 2/13/2021 at 10:01 AM, WhoCares said:

I can't stop playing. I hate myself. I'm full of shit

Overwatch has ruined me, now I'm nothing. I just watch my life going to shit. I have the most important exams in my life in 2 months, people prepare for them for years, I haven't even started yet and not sure if I will. The saddest part is that I could change it, I'm not stupid and I have access to crazy amount of money. I could do whatever I want, but all I do is sit on my ass and play stupid shit all day. I am ashamed of existing, I don't deserve it.

I think that right now you are getting into this loop (I had the same thing) where games aren't as pleasurable anymore, but you also don't quite have the energy yet to push them aside. Took me 3 years to gain that energy- so give yourself time, it's not the end of the world. I simply recommend you try to create some (or one) very simple goals (from getting up before 11AM, to doing your dishes once a day, to reading a book 10 minutes a day), and stick to it no matter what. That should help you hang in there- you're already so much ahead of where I used to be around your age; don't rush and push yourself so much- you will succeed. You can take the test again next year, etc. etc.. You inspire a lot of us here to do and be better- I am always looking forward to every post you make. So please don't leave this place no matter how good/bad your journey seems to be. I'm still rooting for you 🙂

Po

 

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