Uninstalled the games I'm addicted to last night

[david.zhu2112@gmail.com]

17 year old male here from UK with a part time job in catering and in college.

I've always been an avid gamer from playing flash games and chess at a young age to intensive competitive games like CSGO and League in high school which lead to me being anti social and had a hard time making friends at high school for consecutive 5 years meaning I used gaming as a coping mechanism as I have several hours in CSGO and Left 4 dead 2. Ever since I've graduated from high school, I look back and regret not talking to people more or partaking in extra-curricular activity when I was always in the library studying or playing on my phone avoiding people. I wasn't even bullied, I actually got along with people and I was a proper dick to classmates when I turned down invitations to social meetings solely because I was addicted to gaming and classmates thought I didn't like them.

My gaming addiction got worse on final year of high school and I became depressed as fuck thinking about suicide due to increased social anxiety, parent's strict expectations and exam stress with nobody to get support off, not even the teachers gave a shit because they just passed my problems onto other staff who did fuck all and my parents didn't give a single fuck all they wanted was grades therefore I spent 5 hours a day playing video games rather than studying and sometimes I would play until 3 in the morning to keep my mind busy from thinking about tomorrow. Quickly, my grades dropped, I gained a fuck ton of weight from 70 kg to 90kg and I revised everything the night before exams. I was bright enough to get the pass grade for all subjects but I didn't get into a grammar school and I further dwelled into video games and comfort eating in the summer holidays.

I started my first year college in 2019 September, I wanted a fresh start but everyone was already in their groups from high school and I got even more fucking depressed with the workload and pressure from parents to get a part time job which I actually succeeded in. Instead of revising for A levels, I turned to video games and the same cycle began : shit grades, no friends, depressing job where the staff are toxic, lack of concentration and mental health issues. The lockdown has given me a wakeup call and I told myself various things and asked tough questions. I uninstalled CSGO, Left 4 dead 2, Pubg, Left 4 dead 2 and League of legends last night and got my older brother to change my steam and riot games password.

I'm seeking help for how to discipline myself to stop gaming and stop thinking about gaming. What you wish you knew when you were my age and how you recovered from gaming addiction.

[OptimisticMalcontent]

Hey, David. I just read your post and I can relate. Having gone through undergraduate and graduate school with a gaming/social media addiction, my advice would be that it's not too late. You're doing a great job by recognizing the problem now. You still have plenty of time to make the most of your college experience.